


blood//water

by SandM1827



Series: stand by me [2]
Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-08-17 12:49:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 87,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16516796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandM1827/pseuds/SandM1827
Summary: "Since you don't give a fuck about drug smuggling, I'm guessing this is a Smurf-for-Adrian exchange."





	1. will I hold myself together?

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Fic title is from [Blood//Water by Grandson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk-U8ruIQyA)  
> Gif set: [Adrian & Detective Pearce](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890237751/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-interrogation)  
> Chapter title is from [All Goes Wrong by Chase & Status ft. Tom Grennan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cMj2cIV-nc)  
> *The original character is Adrian's dad, and possibly his sister later on down the road.
> 
> *I'll add more tags as I go. Not all the characters listed appear in this chapter.

There was a time when being dragged into the police station, processed and booked, would have made him roll his eyes. The idea of spending a couple weeks or months in juvie was no skin off his ass, it meant 3-square meals a day and a bed to sleep on-- things he normally didn't have. The only things juvie took from him were the waves and Deran, both which would always be waiting for him when he got out.  
  
Things were different now. He was an adult, a responsible one usually. It'd been years since he'd felt the weight of metal locked around his wrists, outside of a sexual context anyway. There was a kind of shame he was unaccustomed to as a grown man being searched, finger printed, dumped in an interrogation room and told to wait.  
  
As the night wore on and he was left with only himself for company, the initial fear he'd felt upon his arrest had begun to give way to anger and resentment. He was angry with himself for being stupid enough to agree to take the loaded surfboard, and resentful of the person who'd asked him to do it. The anger was good, he could use it to mask his frayed nerves, to keep the cops from thinking he was weak or easily breakable.  
  
"You know, when your name popped up in the system, I honestly thought it had to be a mistake," Detective Pearce mentioned, stepping into the interrogation room. "I'm disappointed to see you, Adrian. I thought you'd cleaned up your act."  
  
"Who says I haven't? I'm innocent until proven guilty, remember?" Adrian countered, falling back on his teenage self’s arrogant bravado in the face of an authority figure. "I'm sure my lawyer can remind you of it when he or she gets here."  
  
"I'm sure the PD's office will send their best, brightest, and most overworked attorney to advise you of your choices," Pearce acknowledged with a condescending lit to his tone. "But you were caught red-handed, which limits your options significantly."  
  
"Yeah, I figured the only reason you'd come in here is to offer me a deal. The same deal you offered when I got picked up in high school, right?" He wouldn't be surprised if Pearce had snatched his case from someone else just so he could try, once again, to make Adrian a rat. "And if that's the case, you already know what my answer is going to be."  
  
"You were a much smarter criminal in high school," Pearce credited him as he took a seat in the chair across from him. "If memory serves, the only reason you got popped for boosting cars back then was because Smurf turned you in."  
  
"Yeah, that sounds about right." She even went as far as to stand up in open court and tell the judge that he was a bad influence on Deran, and that she believed only the maximum sentence could scare him straight. "Smurf has no problem being a rat so long as it suits her interests."  
  
"So, is that what happened, Adrian?" Pearce asked curiously, head tilted to the side. "Did Smurf find out you and Deran were pulling jobs behind her back again?"  
  
"Deran has nothing to do with this. Neither does Smurf, for that matter," Contrary to what some might believe, the Codys didn't have a stake in every game in town. "And before you ask, no, I don't know anything about their alleged criminal activities."  
  
"Oh, I doubt that," Pearce chuckled darkly, relaxing in his seat. "I'd wager there's not a secret Deran keeps that you don't know about."  
  
"That may be true, but none of his secrets amount to anything illegal," Adrian wouldn't hesitate to testify to that in a court of law if the situation were ever to arise. "So, unless you've got another play here--"  
  
"You know, you're an adult now, Adrian," Pearce pointed out as if it were new information. "And drug smuggling is a far cry from grand theft auto."  
  
"You don't say," Adrian scoffed, shaking his head. "Here I thought they were one in the same."  
  
"We're not talking about a couple months in juvenile hall," Pearce continued undeterred. "You're looking at real time."  
  
"I'm aware of that, thanks," It was a consequence of the risk he had taken, and something he was going to have to come to terms with. "It doesn't change anything about this conversation, Pearce."  
  
"Look, we both know you'll never turn on Deran, I'm not even going to bother with him," Pearce waved off the very idea. "So, how about you give me the Cody of your choosing, and I'll make sure you do minimal time."  
  
"Like I said, I don't know anything about the Codys alleged criminal activities," He'd repeated that claim so many times over the years that it would probably ring as truth on a lie detector test. "I can't tell you what I don't know."  
  
"You should get that on a t-shirt."  
  
"I gotta ask, does trying to flip me give you the same buzz you get from trying to pin something on Smurf?" Adrian couldn't help but wonder about Pearce's true intentions given how many times they'd been on opposite sides of the table having the exact same conversation. "Is it the thrill of the chase, an always wanting what you can't have kind of thing, or just plain stubbornness?"  
  
Over the last decade, it seemed anytime Pearce caught wind of any illegal activities that the Codys could possibly be involved with, he'd haul them in on nothing more circumstantial evidence and a hunch. Anytime Adrian had the misfortune of being picked up as a teen, Pearce would be right there, looking to play 'Let's Make a Deal', where Adrian would be allowed to walk if he'd give up one of the Cody's, and it could only ever be one of the Cody's. Pearce was always the one left disappointed, forced to watch his nemesis avoid prosecution time and time again.  
  
"Maybe you're just a masochist," Adrian surmised, hinting that Pearce must get off on the humiliation of seeing Smurf walk free and clear, or else he would've given up years ago. "You know, I don't think you'd actually know what to do with yourself if you ever actually managed to put the Codys away."  
  
"Smurf or one of her boys will make a mistake one day, and I'll lock them up nice and tight," Pearce said confidently, puffing out his chest. "And you, you'll turn eventually, maybe not on Deran, but one of his brothers, or more likely the matriarch, given your history. Hey, maybe you'll even do it to protect Deran. You see, it's all about finding the right pressure point."  
  
"Let's say you find this pressure point," Adrian didn't have many buttons for Pearce to push, so he wasn't too worried about that. "I could tell you whatever I wanted to about the Codys, but it wouldn't help you, because I couldn't prove any of it. You can't make a case on my word alone, you'd need corroborating evidence, which you don't have and I doubt you'll ever find."  
  
"Um, excuse me, Detective Pearce," A young, nervous looking deputy peered into into the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but his father's here to see him."  
  
"You called my dad?" Adrian sneered, bile rising in his throat. "I am not a child. I don't need a parent or guardian with me."  
  
"Call it a habit from all the times I picked you up as a teenager," Pearce quipped, standing from the table. "He showed up this time, I'll take that to mean your relationship with him has improved."  
  
"And I'll take that to mean you enjoy being wrong," Adrian muttered, balling his hands into fists. "Fuck."  
  
"Send him in," Pearce ordered the officer.  
  
Hank Dolan was a tall man, a grade-A asshole who liked to tower over others as a show of dominance. He was the kind of person who took up all the space in the room and sucked all the energy right out of it. He had a permanent scowl etched into his features that always seemed to be directed at Adrian, and this time was no different.  
  
By now Adrian knew better than to duck his head when greeted by such a scathing look. He flat out refused to cower under his father's scrutiny. He squared his shoulders, set his jaw, and lifted his eyes to meet the older man's glare with one of his own.  
  
"Well, this is an all too familiar scene, isn't it?" His father glowered, placing his hands flat on the table and leaning in close enough for Adrian to feel his rancid breath on his face. "Let me ask you a question, do you exist solely to disappoint me?"  
  
"No," Adrian answered honestly. "It just always seems to work out that way."  
  
"I'm glad I was never delusional enough to think I could ever have a son I could be proud of," Hank remarked, shifting his gaze to the detective. "What did he do this time?"  
  
"He tried to smuggle a surfboard full of cocaine out of the country." Pearce responded, leaning against the far wall, keeping himself safely out of the elder Dolan's line of fire. "I believe he was using the surfing competition as cover, so this may not be the first time."  
  
"Just the first time he's been caught," His father deduced, returning his attention to Adrian. "Moving up in the criminal world, I see."  
  
"Just trying to catch up with you, Hank," Adrian snarked, betting on his father being smart enough not to raise a hand to him in a police station.  
  
"I am not paying for your lawyer," Hank informed him, standing up straight and crossing his arms over his chest. "You're twenty-six-years old, it's time you started taking responsibility for your own actions."  
  
"I don't remember asking you to pay for a lawyer," Adrian doubted his father had enough money to pay for dinner let alone a lawyer. "I don't remember asking you to be here at all."  
  
"The police called, I came. That's what a father is supposed to do when their child is a complete and total fuck up," Hank barked at him. "But don’t you worry, I’m leaving. We’re done here."  
  
"We've been done since I was fourteen and started calling you 'Hank' instead of 'Dad'." Adrian huffed, digging his nails into his palm. "And Pearce, I'm not talking to you anymore without a lawyer present, so either take me to a holding cell or get out."

* * *

 

There was something calming about The Drop in the early morning hours. The sun shining through the windows and the eerie silence had a tranquility to it. If earning money weren't a factor, Deran might've preferred the bar quiet and empty rather than noisy and packed.  
  
Unless he had company, an overnight guest, he liked to sit at the island counter in the kitchen, have a cigarette and a cup of coffee before getting started on inventory and paperwork. Most people knew better than to interrupt his morning routine, those who didn't were either delivery people or just ill informed, like whoever decided it was a good idea to traipse through the back door uninvited at nine in the morning.  
  
"We're closed!" Deran shouted as the heavy plod of footsteps drew near. "I said, we're closed!"  
  
"Yes, I assumed that's what the locked front door meant," Detective Pearce's deep voice boomed through the kitchen as he stepped in from the hall. "That's why I came through the back door."  
  
"Pearce," Deran tensed at sudden the intrusion to what he'd deemed his safe place. "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by and ask if you'd heard from Adrian this morning," Pearce replied, pulling out a stool and joining Deran at the island. "Of course, now I remember he used his one phone call on a lawyer."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" Deran reached for his phone, checking for any missed calls or messages from his lover. "Adrian's on a plane, headed for the South African leg of the tour."  
  
"Adrian is in a holding cell, awaiting whatever bumbling attorney the public defenders office sends over," Pearce revealed as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the urn into a spare mug on the counter. "The TSA noticed a weight discrepancy on one of his boards, come to find out it was loaded with cocaine."  
  
"Bullshit." Deran snapped. "Adrian isn’t reckless enough to do something that stupid."  
  
"It's not like it would be his first drug related offense," Pearce drawled, drumming his fingers against his cup. "He was picked up multiple times for possession as a youth. You were both busted for dealing in junior high and high school."  
  
"He had to pay the bills somehow, his dad and stepmom sure as hell weren't doing it," While Deran sold drugs and boosted cars as a teen for some extra pocket change, Adrian had done it to make sure he and his sister had food on the table and a roof over their heads. "Jesus Christ, we were kids. And it was weed, some magic mushrooms, and a little LSD, not heroin or cocaine. We were trying to give people a good time not ruin their fucking lives."  
  
"Yes, I know, just as I'm sure you know trying to smuggle cocaine out of the country is a far more serious charge than selling dimebags of marijuana," Pearce said grimly. "I offered him a deal, and I'm sure his attorney will advise him it's in his best interest to accept it."  
  
"With you involved, I'm sure I can guess the terms of that deal," Deran had known the detective a long time, he knew he had a one-track mind. "Hate to break it to you, man, but Adrian's not gonna accept any deal you put on the table. He's not a rat."  
  
"You may be right about that, Adrian's not talking," Pearce acknowledged with a cluck of his tongue. "You've got him trained well."  
  
"Adrian keeping his mouth shut has nothing to do with me," Deran hadn't instilled that kind of loyalty in Adrian, it was just part of who he was. "Adrian's not talking, because there's nothing to say."  
  
"You need to understand something, Deran, if he doesn't roll on someone, he's looking at hard time. Now, we both know Adrian's not a stranger to the justice system, but he's not the same person he was in juvie either. He's softened." Pearce said somberly, eyes downcast as if he wanted Deran to believe he felt bad for the circumstances Adrian found himself in. "He put on a good front during the interrogation, but there was something there, just beneath the surface, that I had never seen in him before: genuine fear."  
  
"You going somewhere with this, Pearce?" Deran questioned through gritted teeth, not wanting to think about Adrian locked away in a cell, scared and alone.  
  
"Adrian's not emotionally equipped to do more than a couple months inside. And a state prison is different from juvenile hall, you know that from your own experience," Pearce referred to Deran's five months in East Mesa. "How do you think a few years will work out for someone like him? Do you think he'll still be the same laid back beach rat with an unusually high tolerance for bullshit? I don't. I think prison will harden him or turn him into a shell of himself, and I don't think you want either of those things to happen."  
  
"So you came here to convince me I could save him from all that," If it were anyone but Adrian's ass on the line, Deran would've told Pearce to fuck off already. "And since you don't give a fuck about drug smuggling, I'm guessing this is a Smurf-for-Adrian exchange deal."  
  
"That's what I had in mind, yes," Pearce nodded. "You can't tell me the thought of putting your mother behind bars doesn't appeal to you on some level."  
  
"If there was something I could give you on Smurf-- and I'm not saying there is," The last thing Deran wanted to do was let Pearce think he was leaving the conversation with more than he came into it with. "She'd kill me and Adrian if I said anything to you or anyone else."  
  
"What do you think she'll have done to Adrian in the years he'll spend inside if you don't talk?" Pearce asked solemnly, causing Deran's heart to constrict painfully in his chest. "She's always been hostile toward him, threatened by his place in your life. She could see this as an opportunity to eliminate him from the equation, at the very least make him regret his close ties to you and your family."  
  
"I can protect him--"  
  
"Not in prison you can't. I mean, sure, you could pay to have him protected, but Smurf has deeper pockets, she'll pay double just to have him hurt," Pearce noted, effectively killing whatever flicker of hope Deran had retained up to that point. "I can protect him, and you. Give me proof of something Smurf has done, and I'll get you both witness protection. You can start over together, somewhere Smurf can't touch you."  
  
"I need to talk to Adrian," Ultimately, it was Adrian's freedom and possibly his life at the center of all this, Deran couldn't make that any decision without his input.  
  
"All right," Pearce smiled smugly, counting his chickens a little early in the game. "I can get you in to see him this afternoon."  
  
"No, not at the station," Unless it was a conversation between lawyer and client, anything they said to one another could be used against them, and Deran wouldn't risk that. "When's his bail hearing?"  
  
"He was caught while trying to leave the country, he's not going to be granted bail," Pearce said incredulously. "The DA is going to ask he be remanded to county lockup pending the trial or until a plea agreement is reached, and the judge will likely agree to that."  
  
"The DA is on your side, right? Convince them to recommend bail, I'll cover it, no matter the cost." There was no way Deran would let Adrian rot in county. "Do that, and I'll consider your offer. No bullshit, Pearce. If you can get Adrian bail, I will seriously consider everything you've put on the table."  
  
"I'll talk to the DA, see what I can do," Pearce agreed. "But I'm not making any promises."  
  
"Neither am I."


	2. warning signs ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Gif sets: [you are a dick](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890661466/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-you-are-a-dick)  
> Chapter title comes from: [If this Ship Sinks (I Give In) by Birds of Tokyo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWZ4ZyppM9A)  
> 

Adrian had walked into his bail hearing fully expecting to be remanded to lockup until trial, that was the reality he had prepared himself for. Fortunately, or unfortunately perhaps, life still had a way to surprising him, this time in the form of a six-figure bond and a fancy new ankle monitor. However, he had neither the money nor a home for the monitor to tether him to, so it came as a bit of a shock when he was released a few hours later.

He didn't have to ask who posted his bail, there was only one person in his life capable of gathering such a hefty sum in such a short amount of time. And if the money wasn’t enough of an indicator, being escorted to The Drop by an officer certainly confirmed things. While Deran’s bar seemed like an odd choice for him to serve out his house arrest, he wasn’t about to question it, and he doubted Deran would tell him if he did ask.

As it was, Deran wasn’t saying much of anything, not to him anyway. He chatted up the officer setting up Adrian’s tether, listened intently to the rules, the do’s and don’ts of the ankle monitor, but said nothing to Adrian directly. Even after the officer had gone and they were alone, Deran didn’t speak, only flashed Adrian a familiar look before climbing the ladder to the crawl space bedroom.  
  
They tried to fuck it out, as they usually did when there was something they didn't want to talk about. That particular avoidance technique worked on most occasions, but this wasn't one of them. The tension was still very much there when they had finished, and Deran crawled out of bed almost as soon as he'd pulled out.  
  
"Fuck," Adrian murmured to himself, listening to Deran patter around in the office below.  
  
He rolled out of bed and slid on his pants, taking a deep breath and resigning himself to a different kind of fate than the one he'd prepared himself for earlier in the day.  
  
"I made you something to eat," Deran announced as Adrian descended the ladder. "It ain't much, but it's probably better than whatever they fed you at county."  
  
"Thanks," Adrian wasn't the least bit hungry, but he'd eat whatever Deran fixed to appease him. "Thanks for posting my bail. I know it was a lot of money--"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Deran shrugged off his gratitude. "I put the properties Smurf gave me up for collateral. So long as you don't skip out on your bond, it should be fine."  
  
"I'm not going to skip out on my bail," Even if he wanted to run, he had nowhere to go, and he couldn't when running meant fucking Deran over in the process. "I'm not that stupid."  
  
"Recent events say different," Deran snapped with little heat behind his words. "Smuggling drugs is pretty stupid."  
  
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I said the same thing to you once upon a time," Adrian recalled a similar conversation from their shared youth when he was on the other side of the table. "Back when you guys were smuggling drugs in from Mexico for Baz's girlfriend Lucy."  
  
"Yeah, well, that was me and my family, not you," Deran muttered, setting two plates of food on the table. "Fuck, Adrian, you're not supposed to be involved in all this shady shit, shit my family does or has done. You're the one I shouldn't have to worry about."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Adrian grumbled, dropping into a chair heavily. "I'm the only person in my life not allowed to screw up."  
  
"What? No," Deran shook his head as he joined Adrian at the table, sitting across from him. "That's not what I meant and you know it."  
  
"No, you meant I'm the only person in _your_ life not allowed to screw up," Adrian had grudgingly accepted his role as Deran's moral compass long ago, but he wasn't infallible, he made mistakes, and Deran tended to forget that. "That sound about right?"  
  
"That's closer," Deran ceded. "But it still makes me sound like a dick."  
  
"You are a dick."  
  
"You're awfully calm for someone who just spent the night in jail," Deran noted, pointedly ignoring the dig. "Especially considering the charges."  
  
"Yeah, well," Fear was a useless emotion, and although he still felt it, he wasn't going to allow it to overwhelm him or bleed into Deran. "I thought you might prefer calm over panicked."  
  
"Normally, I would," Deran confirmed. "But right now it's making me nervous."  
  
"Sorry," There wasn't much he could do to soothe Deran's nerves outside trying to reassure him. "Everything's going to be fine, Deran. Okay? It's going to be fine."  
  
"You don't know that," Deran scowled, picking at the food on his plate absently. "Can you... Can you just tell me why? Why would you do something like this?"  
  
"It's a long story," Under the circumstances, he doubted Deran would accept any reason he had to give. "There's not really a simple answer."  
  
"Then give me the complicated one," Deran urged him. "At least tell me it wasn't about something as stupid as money."  
  
" _Something as stupid as money_..." Adrian repeated the words back to the other man, hoping he'd hear how ignorant they sounded. "Yeah, that's exactly the kind of thing I'd expect you to say."  
  
"What's that supposed to be?"  
  
"Your primary source of income comes from ripping people off, and if that doesn't cushion your wallet enough to keep you in the lifestyle you're accustomed to, you run to mommy to get what you need," Adrian remarked harshly. "It's easy for you to call money stupid, because it's always been readily available to you, you've never known what it's like not to have any."  
  
"Adrian, I know you had it rough growing up, but being poor as a kid doesn't excuse the shit you're doing now," Deran declared judgmentally. "It's time to knock that chip off your shoulder, okay?"  
  
"Are you fucking serious?" Adrian gaped at him. "I have never used my childhood as an excuse for anything I've done, past or present."  
  
Deran, on the otherhand, almost always used his family and upbringing as excuses for his behavior. Deran and his brothers wore their trauma on their sleeves for everyone to see. It was the opposite for Adrian, he was a firm believer that letting go of the past was the only way to keep it from infecting the future.  
  
"You, of all people, have no right to criticize anyone's reasons for doing anything, especially if the motive is money," Adrian admonished his lover. "And being an asshole is no way to get the answers you want, so drop the attitude."  
  
"Drop the attitude?" Deran scoffed, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the urn on the table. "I forgot how bitchy jail makes you."  
  
"I'm not bitchy," Adrian snagged Deran's coffee for himself in retaliation for the insult. "I just don't need your judgmental crap today. I already had to deal with my dad's shit yesterday, I don't need yours today."  
  
"Well, shit, if I'd known your dad was in the mix I would've been nicer," Deran quipped halfheartedly. "You gonna explain why you thought getting arrested would be more exciting than the surfing tour?"  
  
"Getting arrested was never my intention," He would've preferred to be on the tour, even if it meant having to deal with the numbing loneliness of being away from everyone he knew. "I told the guy who gave me the board that it was too heavy."  
  
"Then why the fuck did you take it?"  
  
"I was under the impression I had no choice in the matter," Once he took possession of the board, there was no going back. "I didn't want to find out what would happen if I showed up at the drop location without it."  
  
"What do you mean, you didn't have a choice?" Deran asked, brows knitted together in a frown. "Did someone threaten you? Is that why you did it?"  
  
"No, Deran, no one threatened me," He wouldn't have buckled so easily had threats been involved. "The person who came to me with the job just had a really convincing argument."  
  
"Who was it?" Deran continued to pry, trying to get what information Adrian was willing to offer. "It couldn't have been a stranger. You wouldn't have taken that kind of risk for someone you didn't know. Who was it?"  
  
"It was someone we grew up with, someone we both trust," And that was all Adrian felt comfortable saying about that person, Deran would just have to comb through the short list from there and make his own deductions. "They asked me, because they knew the tour would be a good cover."  
  
"But why would you say yes?" Deran questioned, searching for the justification behind Adrian's actions. "Why, Adrian? You knew you could get caught, so why take the risk?"  
  
"Because my friend said he needed my help or he would get hurt," He couldn't, in good conscience, let someone they both cared about get hurt if he had the ability to stop it. "And yeah, okay, maybe part of it was about money. I could help a friend out of a jam and make some quick cash. I couldn't...I couldn't say no to that."  
  
"If you needed money, I would've given you money," Deran huffed, face twisted in disgust at the answers he was receiving. "What is it, like a pride thing? Does taking money from me make you feel emasculated or something?"  
  
"No, but at times it makes me feel like a whore," Adrian had left his whoring days behind in high school, and he had no desire to return to them. "You sponsoring me on the tour was one thing, that I could write off as a business deal. Asking you for money for a personal problem would've been something else entirely."  
  
"What personal problem?"  
  
"It's a family thing," It was his family and his responsibility, no one elses.  
  
"Oh, please," Deran rolled his eyes dramatically. "What exactly could your family have possibly done that could justify you smuggling drugs? I mean, they're assholes and degenerates, not crooks."  
  
"What the fuck would you know about it?" Adrian sneered at the man across the table. "You never ask what’s going on in my life if it’s not about surfing or you. Even when we were kids it was the same shit, you'd dump all your family bullshit on me, but shut me down whenever I started opening up about mine."  
  
"Your mom split, your dad's a drunk and a homophobe, your stepmom's a tweaker, and your sister's kind of nuts," Deran listed off what little information he'd retained over the years. "Oh, and your grandfather was in the mob or some shit. What the fuck else is there to know?"  
  
"Wow. That’s all you’ve got?" Almost twenty years of friendship and Adrian's family was nothing more than a five or six facts to Deran. "You know, I could list off all the shit I know about your family, shit you've told me, shit I've seen, but it'd take me weeks to get through it all."  
  
"All right, fine, I'm an asshole," Deran sighed, slumping in his chair. "I'm sorry I've never expressed interest in your home life."  
  
"It's fine," Adrian had always known his relationship with Deran would primarily be a one-way street. "I've known you were a self-involved prick since we were in grade school."  
  
"Oh, fuck you," Deran muttered under his breath. "I said sorry for being disinterested, and I'm interested now, so...I'm all ears."  
  
"Honestly, it's the same story as with the guy who asked me to smuggle the board," The resident fuck ups in his life were consistent, that was for sure. "They owed money to bad people and came to me to get them out of it."  
  
"So which family member was it?" Deran asked, drumming his fingers on the table impatiently. "The drunk, the tweaker, or the nutbag?"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
"It does when you don't want to tell me."  
  
"Well, you have a tendency to overreact," Adrian, having been on the recieving end of Deran's at times violent overreactions, did not want to subject that on a member of his family. "I don't want you to corner them while I'm in prison. I don't want anyone to get hurt."  
  
"That eliminates your dad from the list, you wouldn't give a fuck if he got hurt," Deran checked one name off his suspect list. "And, for the record, there might be a way for you to avoid prison."  
  
"How? By turning rat?" Adrian shook his head, feeling queasy at the thought. "Pearce offered me a deal, but I'm not going to take it. I'm offended that you think I would."  
  
"I never thought you would," Deran denied the insinuation. "Pearce offered me a deal too. He said if I gave him something on Smurf, you could walk, and we could go into wit-sec."  
  
"I don't goto prison, we get to start over, and Smurf's out of our lives forever?" He had to admit, it all seemed very appealing. "Sounds a little too good to be true, doesn't it?"  
  
"I think we should take the deal," Deran decided, swallowing around a lump in his throat. "We do and...we can be free."  
  
"No, Deran, we wouldn't be," There wouldn't be physical barriers to hold them back, but nothing could free them from emotional bonds. "You turn on Smurf, she'll turn on Craig and Pope to get back at you. At best, she'll flip on them for a lighter sentence. At worst, she has them killed like she did with Baz. That would be our fault, Deran."  
  
"We can warn them," Deran suggested. "We can warn them, and they can get the hell out of dodge."  
  
"We turn on Smurf over this, the rest of our lives will be tainted by her--"  
  
"Our lives are already tainted by her."  
  
"Deran, this is my mistake, I'm not going to let anyone else pay for it, not even Smurf," The thought of spending years in a cage surrounded by rapists and murderers terrified him, but he couldn't force that fate on someone else to save his own skin. "I can do the time, Deran. It's going to be the hardest, scariest thing I've ever done, but I can do it."  
  
"Pope barely made it through his time inside, and he's pretty much the strongest person I know," Deran said sullenly. "I'm not saying you're not strong, I just...you're not the kind of person who should be in prison."  
  
"I'm adaptable, Deran," It was one of his greatest strengths. "I adapt to survive. I did it growing up, I can do it in prison."  
  
"I'm not worried about you surviving, I know you'll find a way," Deran remarked, voicing his faith in Adrian's abilities. "I'm just worried about what that looks like, and who you're going to be when you get out."  
  
"So am I."

* * *

"He tell you what this was about?" Pope asked as he and Craig met outside The Drop. "It's not Billy bullshit, is it?"  
  
“Nah, man, I think Billy's gone for good," Craig replied, pulling open the door. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I mean, we just saw him yesterday. What could have happened in one night?"  
  
"With our family, who the hell knows," Pope groused, lumbering into the building and finding his youngest brother sitting at the bar. "Deran."  
  
"Hey, uh, thanks for coming," Deran spoke from behind a laptop screen. "Grab a beer and a chair."  
  
"I don't want a beer," Pope muttered while Craig took advantage of the free alcohol. "I want to know what's going on."  
  
"Adrian was arrested at the airport the night before last," Deran revealed, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "For, uh, for drug smuggling."  
  
"W-What?" Craig choked on the beer he'd begun drinking. "How'd that happen?"  
  
"The loaded board he had was too heavy, it raised airport securities suspicions," Deran explained, pressing a few buttons on the computer keyboard. "Does it really matter how it happened? I'm more worried about the _why_ and what happens next."  
  
"H-He didn't tell you why?" Craig questioned, shifting nervously on his feet. "Have you seen him? Have you talked to him?"  
  
"I've seen him. He's out on bail. He's taking a nap," Deran gestured toward the closed office door. "All he would tell me is that he was trying to help a friend."  
  
"That sounds like Adrian," If Pope remembered correctly, the motives behind most of Adrian's youthful indiscretions could be traced back to a friend or relative. "How'd he manage to make bail on a smuggling charge?"  
  
"He had to agree to house arrest and hand over his passport," Deran clarified the terms of Adrian's release. "You don't want to know how much the bail actually was."  
  
"Deran?" Adrian's sleep-heavy voice called out as he shuffled out of the office.

"Hey, I thought you'd sleep a few more hours. I was gonna wake you for dinner," Deran smiled softly at the other man. "Did we wake you? Were we talking too loud?"  
  
"No, my public defender called," Adrian held up his cellphone. "She's going to come by in the morning to discuss my options and how we proceed."  
  
"Heard you had a wild night, bro," Craig mentioned, sliding onto a stool a few seats down from Deran. "What the hell happened?"  
  
"Some bullshit," Adrian remarked tersely, shifting his gaze to Pope as if just noticing his presence. "Hey."  
  
"Hey," Pope greeted him with a nod before turning his attention back to Deran. "You really think it's a good idea to have Adrian serve his house arrest here?"  
  
"House arrest was the only way they'd let him out on bail," Deran reiterated the stipulations of the bail agreement. "I wasn't gonna let him rot in a cell if he didn't have to."  
  
"Yeah, but does it have to be here?" Pope couldn't think of one way that didn't end badly, especially if Smurf got wind of it. "Can't he do it at his own place or a relatives?"  
  
"I don't have a place, Chad took over my lease before I left for the tour," Adrian retorted, scowling at Pope. "And my relatives are bigger asshole than you guys, so that's not gonna happen."  
  
"I think what Pope's trying to say is, we all know how Adrian can get when he's in captivity too long," Craig scrutinized the man in question out of the corner of his eye. "We all remember what happened when you two were sick with mono, right?"  
  
"Yeah...yeah, I remember. He was mean," Deran drawled, a haunted expression flickering over his features. "He gets mean."  
  
"Fuck you," Adrian grumbled, shoving Deran lightly as he made his way around the bar. "I'm not mean. I'm a joy to be around."  
  
"You've been calling me a dick and an asshole since I bailed you out this afternoon," Deran pointed out. "How is that not mean?"  
  
"I said those things with love," Adrian claimed, hands cupped over his heart. "Love, and complete and total honesty."  
  
"And that's after one night in jail," Craig snickered. "Can you imagine what it'll be like after a couple days locked in here with you?"  
  
"Okay, first, I'm right here, don't talk about me like I'm not in the room," Adrian advised the longer-haired Cody. "Secondly, I'd be in a much better mood locked in here for a couple days with Deran, than I'd be after a few hours stuck in here with you."  
  
"You're just proving my point, dude," Craig smirked, taking a swig from his beer. "You're normally not this much of an asshole."

“No, I am, I just surround myself with people who are bigger assholes than me, so it’s less noticeable.”  
  
"Oh, my god," Deran groaned, stretching his arms over his head. "It's gonna be a long day."  
  
"The days mostly over," Pope told his brother, though he doubted it would come as much of a comfort. "How'd you even convince the court to let him serve his house arrest in your bar?"  
  
"Yeah, I was wondering that too," Adrian narrowed his eyes, staring down his nose at his lover. "What did you do?"  
  
"I bribed someone," Deran admitted with a shrug. "It was easier than you might think."  
  
"Oh, yeah, that sounds like a smart move," Pope chastised his youngest brother. "You want to end up in a cell next to him?"  
  
"Maybe," Deran pursed his lips, considering the idea. "I'd prefer that over him being in there by himself."  
  
"No," Adrian growled, smacking his palm atop the bar to make sure he was heard. "We talked about this already. My mess, I clean it up, I deal with the consequences. Me. Not you, not anyone else."  
  
"We talked about you not taking Pearce's deal," Deran pointed out, slamming the laptop lid closed in a show of his own frustration. "We didn't discuss the possibility of me--"  
  
"No!" Adrian shouted, his voice echoing off the walls. "Not happening. Get it out of your head. It is not happening."  
  
"I agree with him," Pope couldn't stand the thought of his brother being imprisoned anymore than Adrian could. "He made his bed, he can sleep in it...alone."  
  
"What deal were you talking about?" Craig asked, bringing the conversation back around. "They want you to flip on your dealer or something?"  
  
"Well, Pearce landed my case," Adrian said grimly. "The only people he wants me to flip on is you guys."  
  
"And what did you tell him?" For as long as Pope had known Adrian, the kid had been loyal, namely to Deran, and by proxy the family, but the threat of prison could make anyone second guess their loyalties.  
  
"I told him no, just like every other time," Adrian assured him. "It's not like I have anything to give Pearce that he could prove anyways, so..."  
  
"Hey, man, Adrian's never run his mouth before," Deran jumped to his boyfriend's defense. "He's not a rat."  
  
"Yeah, well, a lot of shit has gone down since the last time he got picked up," Pope reasoned, crossing his arms over his chest. "You two even went months without speaking to each other for the first time in your lives, and fuck knows what shit you pulled on him to set that off."  
  
"He cracked three of my ribs and had you toss a guy I was seeing off a boat in the middle of the night," Adrian divulged, earning a wide-eyed stare from both Deran and Craig. "The fact that we were able to work through that mess is either a testament to how much we care about each other and my forgiving nature, or a testament to my stupidity."  
  
"It's the first one," Deran chimed in. "The care and forgiveness one."  
  
"The point is, things have gotten as bad as they ever have between us, and even when I hated him, I never turned on him or you," Adrian acknowledged, meeting Pope's steely gaze. "I've had plenty of chances, and I have kept my mouth shut every single time."  
  
"He won't even let me flip on Smurf in exchange for us both getting witness protection," Deran informed them of his own proffered deal. "He's afraid Smurf would turn on you guys in retaliation."  
  
"You say that like you were actually considering it," Craig accused their brother. "Wait, would you? Would you turn on Smurf?"  
  
"Wouldn't you?" Deran squawked, raising a brow. "You can't tell me, after everything she's done, that you wouldn't even consider turning on her to save yourself or someone you care about."  
  
"She's still our mom," Craig mumbled dejectedly. "I mean, it was one thing to let her rot in jail, that was out of our control. It's something else to be the one to put her away."  
  
"If it came down to it, if she was locked away and realized there was no getting out of it this time, she would flip on us. She'd find a way to blame us for her being in jail and she'd sell us out to punish us," Deran balled his hands into fists, angry for an offense their mother hadn't committed yet. "So yeah, she's our mom, but that doesn't change anything. If push came to shove, she would turn on us, so I've got no problem turning on her."  
  
"And under most circumstances, I'd totally support that, be happy about it even, because, you know, I hate Smurf," Adrian said unapologetically. "But if she's going down, it needs to be for her own sins, not anyone else's, certainly not mine."  
  
"I hate that you have morals," Deran hissed, hanging his head.  
  
"No, you don't," Adrian called bullshit, reaching out to card his fingers through Deran's hair affectionately. "You wouldn't like me as much if I didn't have them."  
  
"So no one's going to talk to the cops," Pope felt confident about that now, having listened to both Deran and Adrian's arguments. "Is that all you called us here to say?"  
  
"I called you here hoping I could get you to agree with me in the Smurf thing," Deran reported bleakly. "I figured if I had you two on board, I could get him on board."  
  
"I think he's made his feelings on that pretty clear," Pope respected the kid for standing by his guns. "Maybe you should listen to him."  
  
"Oh, wouldn't that be nice..." Adrian hummed, pinning Deran with an expectant. "Listening to me, give it a try, please, just this once."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you."

* * *

Adrian managed to keep his 'it's all cool' act up until the next morning, Deran noticed the mask start to slip almost as soon as the lawyer had arrived for their scheduled meeting. His easy-going grin and relaxed posture had been replaced by a clenched jaw and tense set of shoulders. Deran had been expecting the shift in mood since the previous night, but it was still hard to see Adrian's fear and anxiety on full display.  
  
"I'm Jane Ross, from the public defenders office," The attorney introduced herself to Deran, having met Adrian prior to the bail hearing. "And you are?"  
  
"Deran Cody," Deran gave the woman a firm handshake. "I'm with him."  
  
"And you're comfortable with Mr. Cody sitting in on our meeting?" Ross posed the question to Adrian. "Or would you like to do this privately?"  
  
"I want him here," Adrian gripped his hand under the table. "I trust him."  
  
"The name Cody was attached to a plea deal offered to you by a Detective Pearce," Ross commented, popping open her briefcase. "So I have to wonder if there's a conflict here."  
  
"There's no conflict, only a personal vendetta between Pearce and Deran's mother," Adrian clucked, making a 'what can you do' motion with his hand. "As I told him, I'm not accepting that deal."  
  
"Well, Detective Pearce is just that, a detective, he doesn't have complete authority to make deals," Ross disclosed, rifling through the folders stuffed into her briefcase. "While he had approval from the district attorney to offer you that deal, it is not the only one on the table."  
  
"Good. That's good," Deran would take that to mean there was still a light at the end of tunnel. "What other deals you got?"  
  
"As you've probably guessed, Mr. Dolan, if you would like the the lightest sentence, you would need to give up the people you're working for," Ross slid the documents detailing the agreement across the table. "The means giving the police any information you have on anyone and everyone you had contact with in the organization."  
  
"I don't have any information," Adrian denied any knowledge of the operation. "I got a text from a blocked number with a location of where to pick up the board and where to drop it off. I didn't know the guy who gave me the board, I didn't ask his name and he didn't offer it."  
  
"How did you get involved?" Ross asked, uncapping a pen and preparing to jot down anything Adrian could give her. "You had to have met someone along the way. It couldn't have all been anonymous."  
  
"A friend acted as an intermediary between me and the dealers, or cartel, whoever. He wanted to keep distance between me and them. I think it was his way of protecting me," Adrian theorized, a hint of gratitude in his tone. "I'm not going to give that friend up, so I'm gonna have to say no to that deal."  
  
"Adrian, come on, this person can't be that important," Deran had so far been unsuccessful in his attempts to identify that mystery person, but he wasn't giving up yet. "If you're worried about retaliation, I can protect you."  
  
"It's not about retaliation," Adrian claimed, squeezing Deran's hand once more. "You don't want me to give them up anymore than I want to give them up, I promise you that."  
  
"That leaves you two options, Mr. Dolan," Ross frowned, expression grave. "You could plead not guilty, try to fight the charges. The police will continue to investigate, looking for anything and everything they can use against you. If they can add to the charges you're already facing, you could end up doing ten to fifteen years, depending on what they find."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Is there something to find?" Ross questioned. "If you've got any skeletons in your closet, I need to know about them."  
  
"No, no skeletons. The worst thing I've ever done is assault with a deadly weapon, but I was a minor and I served my time for that," Anything Adrian did as a juvenile should no longer be relevant, those record were sealed when he turned eighteen. "You said there were two options. W-What's the other option?"  
  
"You plead guilty to drug trafficking, you'll do five years in a medium security prison," Ross set the document pertaining to that agreement in front of him. "With good behavior, you could be paroled in three."  
  
"Three to five, huh," Adrian gulped as he read over agreement. "I think I can manage that."  
  
"You think?" Deran didn't like the uncertainty in his lover's voice. "Don't do something if you're not sure."  
  
"I'm sure. I can do it. I can do three to five," Adrian insisted, picking a pen up from the table and preparing to sign. "It's a good deal, Deran."  
  
"Three to five is better than ten to fifteen," Deran could do the math there, but it didn't make him feel any better. "But free would be best."  
  
"Free isn't really an option, so..." Adrian scrawled his name on the dotted line without further hesitation. "There. Done."  
  
"Okay. I will take these to the DA's office," Ross gathered the papers neatly in her briefcase. "You can take a few hours to get your affairs in order, but you'll have to surrender yourself this afternoon."  
  
"This afternoon?" That was a hell of a lot sooner than Deran would have liked. "Can’t you get him a few days?"  
  
"I'm sorry," She said sympathetically. "The sooner it happens the better."  
  
"We understand," Adrian exhaled slowly, struggling to remain in control of his emotions. "T-Thank you, Ms. Ross."  
  
"I'll see you this afternoon, Mr. Dolan," Ross stood and began making her way to the exit. "I'll call you with the details."  
  
"Jesus Christ," Deran dropped his head into his hands, listening to the door swing shut behind the attorney. "Three to five years."  
  
"I know this is hard for you, Deran, and I'm sorry," Adrian apologized, remorse dripping from his tone. "But I...I need to know that you're going to let me do this, that you won't do anything stupid that you think will make things better."  
  
"What do you think I'm gonna do, A?"  
  
"What you said yesterday about joining me in prison, comes to mind," Adrian noted, scrubbing a hand over the nape of his neck. "You can't do that, Deran, you can't."  
  
"It'd be safer for you if I'm there," Deran didn't trust anyone but himself to watch Adrian's back, in or out of prison. "Two against one and all that, like when we were in juvie."  
  
"If Smurf found out you got yourself thrown in jail to protect me, she'd have me slaughtered before you were even processed through the system," Adrian argued, using Smurf's brutality, and not for the first time, to make his point when he felt he was losing the battle. "We're not kids anymore, Deran, we can't afford to make reckless decisions on the chance they might help. You've come too far, you've got too much to lose now."  
  
"Adrian..."  
  
"You can't come with me, Deran, I won't let you," Adrian trembled as he spoke, his eyes wet with unshed years. "I love you too much for that."

* * *

Pope cornered Craig in the kitchen shortly after getting off the phone with Deran. His younger brother had been acting shifty since their visit to The Drop the previous day, and Pope was determined to get to the bottom it. Usually, he wouldn't bother, but Craig was prone to self-destructive tendencies, and they didn't need the mess he could create on top of everything else.  
  
"Talked to Deran," Pope watched his brother stiffen at the mention of the other. "Adrian's looking at three to five."  
  
"Shit," Craig swallowed thickly. "That sucks."  
  
"Yeah, it does," Not just for Adrian, but for them as well, they were the ones who had to deal with Deran when it was done. "We're gonna have to keep Deran close."  
  
"Yeah," Craig nodded. "Yeah, we will."  
  
"You up for that?"  
  
"Yeah," Craig nodded again, slower this time. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Because you've been on edge since you found out Adrian got arrested," As much as Pope wanted to believe it was just a coincidence, he knew it couldn't be. "What did you do, Craig?"  
  
"Nothing," Craig turned his back on him, scouring the fridge for something to drink. "Just worried about Deran is all."  
  
"Worried about Deran or about what he knew?" Pope questioned, slamming the fridge door shut before his brother can grab his alcoholic beverage of choice. "Deran said a friend got Adrian into this smuggling crap, and since he won't tell Deran who it is, that tells me it's not only a good friend, but probably someone close to Deran."  
  
"And you think I'm the guy?" Craig rolled his eyes. "Come on, man. Why would I get Adrian into something like that?"  
  
"You tell me. You don't want Deran to know, fine," He didn't think Deran could handle that kind of betrayal at the present moment anyhow. "But I need the truth, I can't protect you without it."  
  
"You don't got to protect me," Craig assured him. "Adrian didn't tell Deran, he ain't gonna tell the cops. We're clear."  
  
"It's not Adrian I'm worried about," While he had initially questioned Adrian's loyalty, he had since been convinced it wouldn't waiver. "I just want to know what you did."  
  
"I got in deep with some people in Mexico," Craig confessed, hunching his shoulders in an effort to appear smaller. "When Renn and me were down there after Baz was killed, you know. I don't even really know how it happened, it just did."  
  
"Renn's involved in this too?" Pope hadn't spent as much time with her as he had Adrian, he couldn't be sure how trustworthy she could be if backed into a corner. "Does she know you got Adrian into it?"  
  
"Renn doesn't know anything about anything," Craig shook his head. "She thought we were just starting a tequila company. She didn't know what I had going on the side. She’s trying to get out of that shit, you know. She thought the tequila could help us go legit."  
  
"How'd Adrian get roped into it?"  
  
"Well, like I said, I got in deep, owed these people a lot of money. They said I could work it off, do a couple runs over the border, nothing we hadn't done before. On my last run, they said I could pay off my debt and earn something extra if I'd go transatlantic," Craig explained, chewing on his fingernail. "It was supposed to be a one time thing, but I had no way of making the run myself."  
  
"Which is where Adrian came in," As long as the drop was somewhere along the surf tours route, Adrian should have been able to make it without arousing suspicion. "How'd you convince him to help you?"  
  
"I promised to split the cash with him, and um," Craig grunted, clearing his throat awkwardly. "And I told him the people I was in debt to would kill me if I didn't pay up. I knew he wouldn't let Deran lose another one of us, not when we already lost Baz and Julia."  
  
"Money and emotional manipulation," Those were two things they were all too familiar with. "You know, I always thought Baz was the one most like Smurf."  
  
"But as it turns out, it was Craig all along," Their mother's shrill voice flowed through the kitchen as she came in from the hall. "Of course, if I was going to get someone to clean up my mess, I wouldn't rely on some half-wit outsider. I'd hire a professional."  
  
"Adrian's not an outsider."  
  
"No, he's the boy who always knew just a little too much," Smurf spit out, her lips pulled back in an ugly sneer. "Now he has something on you, and that makes him dangerous."

* * *

Adrian had shuffled through a series of emotions since his arrest, from deceptively calm to anxious and agitated and back again. As they took the scenic route to the courthouse, he tried to reach a place of acceptance, but it seemed to be just out of his range. He was terrified, he couldn't deny that, but he would do his best to keep Deran from picking up on it.  
  
"Still have time to make a run for the border," Deran determined, checking the time on his phone. "Just give me the word."  
  
"Thanks for the offer, but a few years in a cell sounds better than a lifetime on the run," As much as he would love to runaway with Deran, it wasn't a realistic option if they ever wanted a chance at a real future together. "And thanks for driving, I could've gotten a cab or something."  
  
"Shut up. I wasn't gonna let a stranger take you," Deran huffed, pulling the van into a parking spot outside the courthouse. "This way you have plausible deniability when Jess asks you why you didn't go see her. You can lie and tell her I wouldn't let you, 'cause I wanted you all to myself."  
  
"Seeing me would only stress her out, and she doesn't need that right now," It was also entirely possible that he was being a coward, trying to avoid his sister's patented look of disappointment. "Would you look in on her once in a while? Jess has never been good at taking care of herself, and now she's got the baby..."  
  
"I'll check in on her, make sure she's all right and has her shit together," Deran accepted the task without complaint. "You don't have to worry about her."  
  
"Do I need to worry about you?"  
  
"If I say no, you're gonna do it anyway," Deran snorted, taking the keys from the ignition, fiddling with them to keep his hands busy. "This is going to suck, you know. I think it'll be the most time we've spent apart since we met."  
  
"You can come visit me," He didn't relish the idea of speaking to Deran surrounded by guards and other inmates, but it was better than nothing. "If you want to, I mean."  
  
"I'll come see you," Deran promised, conviction heavy in his tone. "I will, as often as I can, so much you'll probably get sick of me."  
  
"Not possible."  
  
"Guess we'll find out."  
  
"I know this is the part where I'm supposed to be all selfless and tell you not to wait for me, but, uh, I'm not going to do that," Adrian had more than earned his right to be selfish where his relationship with Deran was concerned. "I waited a decade for you to get it together. I'm going to be really pissed off if you find someone else while I'm away."  
  
"I'm not going to find anyone else." Deran promptly shut down that idea. "There is no one else, there never has been."  
  
"I'm not saying you have to be celibate or something," He wasn't a monster for fuck sake. "I just...I don't want you to...catch feelings for someone else."  
  
"I won't, I swear."  
  
"Good, because I'd kill you."  
  
"No, you wouldn't."  
  
"I'd burn down your bar."  
  
"That’s a more likely scenario, yeah," Deran chuckled, discarding the keys into the center console so he could take Adrian hand in his. "I'm not gonna 'catch feelings' for anyone else, Adrian. You're it, man. I thought we were on same page there, and that us getting a place together made it clear."  
  
"We are on the same page. It's clear," They hadn't discussed the future beyond moving in together, but they both knew what it meant for them. "You liked it, so you put a key-ring on it."  
  
"Oh, wow, you're an idiot," Deran scrunched up his nose. "But you know, we don't actually have key-ring yet, but I'll have one waiting for you when you get out."  
  
"Something to look forward to."  
  
"Hey, look, um," Deran shifted in his seat. "I'm looking into getting you some protection inside. It might take some time, so, uh, you need to keep your head down."  
  
"I will," He had no intention of making waves or starting any shit. "You know, I'm going to be okay, Deran. I'm not as weak as people think I am."  
  
"I never thought you were weak," Deran sighed, lifting a hand to caress Adrian's cheek. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."  
  
"It won't," He couldn't swear to that, but he could do what he needed to make sure it remained true. "I know I'm gonna have to change to make it through this, but when I get out, I'll be me again."  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
"I, um, I should probably head in," Adrian said reluctantly, glancing out the windshield to see his lawyer waiting for him on the steps of the courthouse. "If I'm late, the deal gets pulled."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, okay," Deran nodded, unfastening his seat belt. "I'll come in with you."  
  
"No," Adrian stopped him with a hand pressed to his chest. "It's bad enough the next time we see each other I'll be in a jumpsuit. I don't want you to see them take me away too."  
  
"Oh, uh, okay," Deran frowned, wilting in his seat. "I'll...stay here."  
  
"It's going to be okay, Deran," Adrian murmured lovingly, threading his fingers through Deran's hair. "You are going to be okay."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Say it," He needed to hear it so he could believe it. "Please."  
  
"I’ll be okay."  
  
"Good, me too."  
  
"Yeah, it's great, now we're both liars."  
  
"Whatever gets us through the day, right?"  
  
"Yeah, right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a small time skip for the next chapter, about a year and a half or so.


	3. tessellate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Warnings: Mentions of rape/non con.  
> Gif set: [having nothing](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890281746/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-having-nothing)  
> Chapter title comes from: [Tessellate by Alt-J](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCeYBfZiDTY)  
> 

Sixteen months, three weeks, and eighteen days Adrian had been incarcerated. Everyday was the same day, he woke up, worked in the maintenance shop, had a little yard time, took a class in the afternoon, and had a shower and three square meals in between, rinse and repeat, that was Adrian’s life now. Yard time was what he looked forward too everyday, after hours locked in a cage there was nothing better than feeling the warm sun on his face and catching a glimpse of the free world outside the chain link fence.

“Yo, Dolan,” A fellow inmate by the name of Sullivan called out to him from one of the tables in the shade. “Up for a game of cards? Five cigarette buy-in.”

Against his better judgment, Adrian had made a few temporary friends inside. He wouldn’t go as far as to call them allies, none of them would jump into a brawl to aide the other or help settle a beef, but they were people to talk to, idle conversation went a long way toward retaining some semblance of sanity.

“Not today, man,” Cigarettes were too hot a commodity to lose in bulk in a rigged games of poker.

“Your loss, dude,” Sullivan clucked, dealing out cards to the poor bastards he managed to con into his game.

Adrian lit up a cigarette and left them to it, making his way to an empty alcove at the corner of the fence. He kept his guard up and scanned the area, noting the basketball game in full swing, the weightlifting equipment being taken up by a bunch of brutes, and a hand-off between another prisoner and a guard. The most interesting find, however, was the cordoned off area on the far side of the yard, reserved for prisoners in protective custody.

The small closed off area allowed protected prisoners to enjoy the semi-fresh air with everyone else without putting them in immediate danger. Since Adrian had been in jail, that part of the prison hadn’t been used much, but was now occupied by a dark haired man Adrian was all too familiar with.

“Colby.”

Colby had come up in Oceanside with he and Deran, and they’d all been friends since grade school. Adrian knew Colby had some trouble in the past, had been locked up on more than one occasion, but it was still unexpected to see him. He didn’t have much time to dwell on the other man’s presence when he felt a different one sidle up next to him.

“Cody-bait,” The gruff voice spoke directly into his ear, rank breath hitting his cheek. “Over here all by yourself? I thought you’d have smartened up by now.”

“Trujillo,” Adrian glanced around the other prisoner, noticing he was not accompanied by his usual entourage. “All alone yourself today, huh? Smurf must be running low on funds.”

Prison had been increasingly dangerous for Adrian thanks to the extra large target painted on his back by the one and only Smurf Cody. The Cody matriarch had marked him, put a price on his ass for anyone to take, but with a strict ‘no kill’ policy attached to it. Eventually, for financial reasons he’d assume, she’d handed over his bounty solely to the Trujillo family, Carlos Trujillo specifically.

“Okay,” Adrian sighed, stubbing his cigarette out on the skin of his forearm. “Let’s get this over with.”

He had stopped fighting back against the assaults after the first few months, having proved it was a useless endeavor. He knew he would survive no matter how rough it got, it was all planned out that way, and Trujillo was far too controlled to take an attack too far and kill him or let one of his crew do it when they joined the fray. Adrian was under no illusions that Carlos was careful to keep everyone in line because he liked him or because he had his own moral code, it was all about money and keeping Smurf happy.

“Time to earn your keep.”

* * *

 

The unfinished road leading up to the property was covered in dirt and littered with all sorts of debris that made the truck rock as they drove over it.

“Think he could’ve picked a more out of the way place?” Craig huffed, gripping the ‘oh shit’ bar for dear life as they continued down the makeshift road. “It’s in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

“I think that’s the point,” Pope muttered, making the turn off to their destination. “He wants to be alone.”

The place in question was a single-story contemporary style house in the midst of a remodel, that sat on a barren piece of land. The owner of the property was up on the roof when they arrived, apparently having decided to do some of the repairs himself.

“Jesus Christ,” Pope slammed the car into park and threw open the door, yelling up at the man as he went. “Deran, get the hell down from there!”

“What?” Deran stopped what he was doing to scowl at his brother. “What’s the problem?”

“You don’t know what you’re doing, that’s the problem,” Pope shouted at the younger man. “Come down, now.”

“Fine,” Deran relented, beginning his descent down the ladder. “I do know what I’m doing. I’ve worked construction. I helped rebuild that church in high school.”

“Court mandated community service doesn’t count as ‘working construction’, Deran,” None of them had ever worked a manual labor job if it didn’t directly pertain to another kind of job they were pulling. “If the roof needs to be repaired, hire someone to do it.”

“Whatever,” Deran rolled his eyes, dropping his tool belt on the porch deck. “What’re you guys doing here?”

“No one’s seen you in weeks, bro,” Craig commented, leaning back against the truck. “Kai said you haven’t even been by the bar in a while.”

“I’ve been busy,” Deran gestured toward the house. “There’s a lot to do.”

“And plenty of time to do it,” Pope said pointedly. “Adrian’s got another year and a half inside.”

“What the fuck’s up with this place?” Craig scrutinized the home their brother chose for himself. “I thought you guys were looking at house on the beach, you know, ones that are a little more modern.”

“Beach houses are overpriced, have shitty parking, and too much foot traffic nearby,” Deran critiqued the other places he had looked at. “Adrian’s locked up with a bunch of strangers now, he’s not gonna want a tourists traipsing through his lawn when he’s released. And this place isn’t going to be outdated for long, I’m modernizing it.”

“It doesn’t look outdated to me,” Perhaps Pope just had a different idea of what the word ‘modern’ meant. “Could use a good landscaper, though.”

“I’m going to fix up the yard,” Deran assured him, glaring at the crabgrass like it personally offended him. “I’m building a big work shed in the back too, for Adrian.”

“Aren’t you sweet,” Craig snickered. “Look, man, we came out here to talk to you about a job.”

“We need to pull one,” Deran agreed without any prodding. “I have to stay flush, I need cash on hand in case something happens.”

“We have to hold a family meeting to get one together,” With any luck, they could keep Smurf from worming her way into it like she did everything else. “That means you’re going to have to come into town, unless you want all of us out here.”

“We can do it at the bar,” Deran decided as he took his vibrating cellphone from his pocket and checked the caller ID. “I have to take this, it’s my contact at the prison.”

“You know, this is a nice chunk of land,” Craig said to Pope as Deran walked off toward the house. “We could all build houses out here.”

“I don’t think Deran would appreciate that,” His baby brother didn’t buy a house in the middle of nowhere so the rest of the family could follow him out there. “You want out of Smurf’s house, you can move into Baz’s, she gave it to you for a reason.”

“You don’t think it’s a little too weird?” Craig asked, frowning. “Baz and Cath lived there with Lena, and now they’re all gone.”

“If you can’t live there you need to sell it.” Pope advised his brother. “It’s not doing anyone any good just sitting there empty.”

“I guess,” Craig shrugged. “Maybe, uh, maybe Renn will let me see the kid if I had a real place to live.”

“Craig, you don’t even know if that little girl is yours,” As far as Pope knew, Renn had stood by her claim that Craig was not the father, and there had never been a paternity rest to confirm or deny it. “Even if that baby is yours, do you really want to bring her into all this shit?”

“Did you forget that you tried to convince me to adopt Lena when social services first took her away?” Craig asked, gaping at his older brother. “How come it’s different when it could be my kid?”

“I let Lena go,” It had killed him to do it, but in the end it was the best decision he could have made for his niece. “I chose to protect her from our lives and from Smurf. If you really believe that baby is yours, then you will do what Renn wants you to do and stay the fuck away.”

“But I….” Craig trailed off, eyes catching on their younger brother running across the lawn. “Where the fuck is he going?”

“Adrian’s in the infirmary!” Deran shouted, rushing across the lawn. “I have to go!”

“Fuck,” Pope scrubbed a hand down his face. “Goddamn it, Smurf.”

“I, uh,” Craig faltered as their brother climbed into his van. “I thought you were gonna get Smurf to back off him.”

“I’m trying,” Pope had confronted their mother multiple times, but nothing he said to her resonated. “You had a pretty significant role in making this mess. You want to take a stab at calling Smurf to heel?”

“No, I’m good.”

* * *

 

The walking through the prison halls got longer every time Deran had to do it. The cold concrete walls gave him goosebumps as he passed by, and the loud clanging of metal doors hurt his ears when they slid open and shut.

“I can’t uncuff him,” Harris, a guard on Deran’s payroll, informed him, unlocking the door to the infirmary. “I don’t know how long I can give you.”

“I just need some privacy.” Deran shut the door between them, giving the guard no chance to protest. “Here we go again.”

Deran had bribed a crooked guard four times for access to the infirmary since Adrian had been locked up. It never got any easier seeing his lover, his best friend, laid out on a gurney, battered and bruised, with one wrist shackled to the railing. His heart clenched painfully in his chest whenever he picked up the medical chart to see what new injuries had been added to the ever-growing list.

“Busted ribs, broken fingers, broken arm,” Deran read from the chart, fighting the urge to vomit in the nearby wastebasket. “Signs of sexual assault.”

It wasn’t the first time ‘sexual assault’ had been listed on Adrian’s chart, by his count Deran had seen it at least twice before. They never brought it up during their visits, each had their own reasons for keeping quiet about it. Deran knew they’d have to talk about it once Adrian was home, but for now they could both pretend the worst Adrian had been subjected to was a brutal beat down.

Deran dropped the chart onto the counter and moved to the gurney, taking his rightful place in the chair at Adrian’s side. He leaned over the railing, caressing his fingers along the edges of a dark bruise surrounding Adrian’s left eye.

“Shit,” Deran grimaced sympathetically at the extent of the damage. “That’s a bad one.”

“Had worse,” Adrian mumbled, rousing back to consciousness. “It’ll heal. It’ll all heal.”

“Yeah, physically,” Deran was more worried about the emotional ramifications that would pop up later on. “How you feeling?”

“Like a hundred bucks,” Adrian couched, struggling to catch his breath. “Can you help me sit up?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Deran used the lever on the side of the gurney to elevate the top half of the bed. “That good?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Adrian exhaled slowly. “You know, I wish you wouldn’t come here when I’m like this. I hate that you have to see it.”

“I don’t come here to see you beaten to hell, babe,” Deran would like to visit, just once, and see Adrian’s face as pristine and unmarred as it once was. “I just need to see that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Adrian lied, a sorry excuse for a reassuring smile gracing his lips. “Did you know Colby was here?”

“He is?” The last time Deran had heard from Colby was when he learned Ox was dead. “What’s he in for?”

“I didn’t have a chance to ask before...” Adrian motioned to his injuries. “He’s in protective custody, though.”

“Probably got picked up for possession again. They got him in P.C. ‘cause he’s rolling on his dealer or something,” Deran theorized, Colby wasn’t someone he was concerned about anymore. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Guess that means there’s something else on your mind.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about why you took that loaded surfboard,” Sixteen months later, something about the explanation still didn’t sit right with him. “Two reasons, right? Helping a friend by smuggling the board, and helping a relative by giving them the money, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Adrian confirmed with a small nod. “What about it?”

“I buy the friend part,” Deran hadn’t quite figured out who that trusted friend was yet, but the suspect list was shrinking everyday. “It’s the family member part I’m having trouble with.”

“I--”

“I think-- _No_. I know. I know it’s bullshit,” He had known from the moment Adrian had said it, he just needed proof before he brought it to the table. “The only family member you’d risk your ass for is your sister, but she told me the only thing she asked you for was to be the godfather to her son.”

“Asked?” Adrian chortled. “She blitz attacked me with it at the christening, didn’t give me a choice in the matter.”

“And just to make sure I covered all the bases, I had a violent conversation with your dad,” Deran wasn’t the one who instigated the violence, but he couldn’t say he was disappointed that things ended up there. “And I talked to your stepmom in a rare sober moment. Did you know she and your dad divorced?”

“I didn’t even know they were legally married.”

“I even tracked down your bio-mom to some no-name town in Georgia, on the off chance that she reached out,” Locating the first Mrs. Dolan hadn’t been easy or cheap, the woman wanted to get lost and she had. “Every relative of yours I talked to swore they didn’t ask you for a goddamn thing. So, I know you lied to me about why you needed the money. You ready to tell me the truth?”

“I was tired,” Adrian confessed, ducking his head. “I was just tired.”

“Tired of what?”

“Having nothing,” Adrian admitted, swallowing thickly. “I know that sounds weak, but you don’t know what it’s like.”

“Explain it to me,” Deran wasn’t as ignorant as his lover seemed to think he was. “Help me understand.”

“It’s been one thing after another since I was a kid. Nothing’s ever been easy, and I know it’s not supposed to be, but...” Adrian shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “I- I had to do things...”

“I know that,” Deran witnessed firsthand the lengths Adrian had gone to in order to care for his family. He tried not to judge him for it. “You did what you needed to do. I never thought you were ashamed of it.”

“I’m not ashamed of it, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed it or wanted to do it,” Adrian spit out, disgusted by the assumption he thought Deran was making. “Those ‘jobs’ were supposed to be temporary, they were supposed to end when things got better, when we were on our feet, but every time I managed to get us there, something would happen. I always ended up back on my knees, struggling to get back up.”

“But you always got up,” That had to count for something. “You don’t have to do those things anymore.”

“I can’t keep it together working a nine-to-five, existing is just too expensive. I thought college could get me further, but it’s not cheap, and I must not be as smart as I thought I was because I really sucked at it,” Adrian muttered disparagingly. “And as much as I wanted the surf tour to work out, it was never going to, it was just a pipe dream.”

“That’s not true,” Deran never would have sponsored him on the tour if he didn’t think he could make it.

“What I made taking that board, it wasn’t supposed to set me up for life, but I thought...,” Adrian sighed. “I thought I could use the money to build something, like you did with the bar. I could open my own surf shop or something, I just wanted something of my own.”

“Something of your own...I wasn’t enough?” Wasn’t that just a slap in the face. “I mean….”

“You’ve never been mine, Deran, not really. You’ve always belonged to someone else, your mother, your brothers, and that’s okay, I came to terms with that a long time ago,” Adrian peered up at him through his lashes, his sorrowful eyes telling a difference story than the one of acceptances coming from his mouth. “I’m not yours either, not because I don't want to be, but because _**you**_ don’t want me to be. You’re content with me, but you’re always searching for something more, someone better, purer--”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, okay? You need someone _good_ to offset the evil in your life. I was that for you when we were kids,” Adrian sniveled, wiping his dry cheeks as if he were crying. “Finding out my family wasn’t cookie-cutter perfect, that was my first black mark. When I learned what your family did and was okay with it, that was another crack in my imaginary halo. Pulling jobs with you in high school, all the other shit I did back then, I’m sure it blackened my soul to you. And now, all of this...if I wasn’t tainted goods before….”

“Shut the hell up!” Deran slammed a fist down on the pillow beside Adrian’s head, regretting it almost immediately when the other man flinched violently in response. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just...you’re full of shit. You know that you are full of shit.”

“I’m not.”

“You are the one good thing in my life, that’s just as true now as it was when we were kids,” All the shit they’d done as teenagers, both together and apart, it didn’t change a damn thing. “It’s not about what you’ve done or what’s happened to you. It’s about you, y-your heart. You don’t do anything out of malice or hate. Your intentions aren’t always innocent, but they’re never evil or wrong.”

“You give me too much credit,” Adrian shuddered, biting into his bottom lip. “You see what you want to see.”

“I see you. I know you better than anyone,” Deran had never idealized Adrian the same way he had Smurf or his brothers once upon a time. He needed Adrian to be real for him, and that meant accepting him the way he was, flaws and all. “I know you’re as much an asshole as you are a nice guy. You’re not afraid to speak your mind, even if it’s at the expense of someone’s feelings. And you don’t hesitate to do whatever you have to do to take care of what’s yours.”

“Deran--”

“I know you well enough to know that you’re not a goddamn martyr,” And Deran was fucking tired of Adrian suddenly acting like he was one. “So cut the shit.”

“Cut the shit?” Adrian furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re not saying this shit because you believe it, you’re doing it to piss me off so I’ll leave,” Deran understood the why of it, if he’d been through half the shit Adrian had since he’d been inside, he’d probably be doing the same thing. “You don’t think I can handle what you’ve been through, o-or you don’t want me to have to deal with it.”

“It’s my trauma, Deran,” Adrian acknowledged, voice barely above a whisper. “I can compartmentalize it now, but I don’t know what happens when I get out...if I get out.”

“You’re gonna get out,” One way or another Deran was going to make sure of that. “I know that buying you protection hasn’t worked out yet, but--”

“Deran, you don’t need to waste anymore money on that. I can take it. I can take the beatings. I can take the...everything else. I can take it while I’m here, I got no choice, right?” Adrian quivered, his body beginning to tremble. “It’s when I get out that I don’t know. I don't want you to see me like that. I don’t want you to have to take care of me if I...if it gets bad.”

“Look, I know you hate being taken care of,” Deran knew that was less a personal preference and more about Adrian never having anyone to take care of him. “If it makes you feel better, I will do the bare minimum.”

“Liar.”

* * *

 

The one things Adrian could count on in the infirmary was never waking up alone. Whether it was Deran sitting vigil at his side, another prisoner being treated, a guard loitering close by, or doctors and nurses doing their jobs, there was always someone else there. This time, when Adrian pried his eyes open for the second time, Deran was gone, but a previously empty bed was now occupied by another inmate.

“Colby,” To the naked eye, he appeared unharmed, leaving Adrian to wonder how he’d earned a trip to the medical ward. “Hi?”

“What’s up, bro?” Colby grinned like they just happened to run into each other at the beach instead of a prison. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks,” He was pretty sure that was his default at this point. “You look okay.”

“Oh yeah, I’m good,” Colby nodded, swinging his legs over the side of the gurney. “I’m not here because I’m hurt.”

“You’re not cuffed either,” If that wasn’t suspicious, Adrian didn’t know what was. “You’re, uh, you’re here to talk to me.”

“And I didn’t have to pay anyone like Deran,” Colby smirked knowingly. “I’m kind of a big deal right now. All I gotta go is ask and they get me whatever I want.”

“Your dealer that high up on the food chain?” He must’ve been bringing down an entire cartel to get such cushy accommodations.

“My dealers got nothing to do with it,” Colby said, hopping off the gurney to wander around the room. “You remember Ox, Adrian?”

“Yeah, of course,” It was hard to forget someone you’d known since junior high. “Why?”

“He was murdered a few weeks before you got locked up,” Colby revealed, grief flickering over his features. “Deran didn’t tell you?”

“No, he didn’t,” That was strange in itself, considering there was no reason for Deran to keep a mutual friend’s death from him. “I’m so sorry. I know how close you were.”

“Yeah, we were, like you and Deran,” Colby commented, cringing when he realized how that could be interpreted. “We weren’t in love or anything. We were just friends. Best friends.”

“I know,” Adrian recalled the pair being attached at the hip, not unlike he and Deran in their younger years. “What happened to him, Colby?”

“He got shot while we were pulling a job for Deran,” Colby replied, balling his hands into fists at his side. “We went to Deran for help. Craig called some nurse guy, but he did fuck all for Ox. Deran sent us to some back-alley doctor in Mexico, and they patched Ox up, but he died later from infection.”

“I’m sorry, Colby, I really am,” Adrian didn’t know what else to say. “He was my friend too.”

“Deran actually looked guilty when I told him,” Colby sneered. “He didn’t call to check on Ox after he sent us away, but he had the nerve to look sad when I told him Ox was dead.”

“Deran cared about Ox,” Contrary to popular belief, Deran wasn’t heartless, he felt things just like the rest of them. “I’m sure Ox’s death is tearing him up inside.”

“Deran didn’t give a shit about Ox,” Colby barked, lips drawn back in a snarl. “The Codys don’t care about anyone. They don’t have friends, just fall guys, you should know that, you’re one of them.”

“I’m here because of my own bullshit, Colby, not theirs.”

“Nobody believes that,” Colby snorted derisively. “That’s why Smurf’s spending a lot of money to have you tuned up on a regular basis.”

“That’s not why she’s doing it,” He wasn’t even going to ask how Colby knew about that.

“Then why is she?” Colby asked, seeming genuinely interested. “Better question: why haven’t you ratted yet? Smurf’s done all sorts of shit to you since you’ve been here, but you’ve kept your mouth shut. Why?”

“Spite, mostly,” Outside his feelings for Deran, of course. “Smurf wants me to rat so she’ll have a reason to kill me.”

So long as he kept quiet, he would be spared the full weight of Smurf’s wrath because she would have no reason to order his execution. Her goal was to hurt him so badly that he’d go crawling to Pearce, tail tucked between his legs, begging for a deal, that way when she had him shivved in the showers, she had a reason to take back to Deran. She wanted to make him responsible for his own murder in Deran’s eyes.

“You were always the most defiant with Smurf,” Colby smiled approvingly. “Taking everything she’s throwing at you without complaint...that’s probably killing her.”

“Let’s hope so,” Adrian’s refusal to give Smurf what she wanted would either get her to back off or prompt her to escalate things by having Trujillo kill him. “What do the Codys have to do with why you’re here, Colby?”

“I’m in jail for making a buy off an undercover cop. Rookie fucking mistake,” Colby chastised himself. “I’m in here talking to you because we’re friends and I think we can help each other.”

“With what?”

“Getting out of here,” Colby sat on the edge of Adrian’s gurney. “You really think Smurf’s gonna let you and Deran live happily ever after when you get released? You think Deran’s going to be waiting for you when you get out? As we speak, he’s banging his way through every sexually ambiguous guy that crosses his path. He’s not being faithful to you. He doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”

“Oh, Christ,” Adrian could see where Colby’s little speech was leading. “Did Pearce come to you with a deal or did you goto him?”

“I went to him,” Colby answered easily. “He was skeptical at first, but then I told him about all the jobs Ox and me pulled with Deran over the summer and what happened to Ox. I told him I’d testify to all of it and he got real interested.”

“Colby, you can’t do that,” That kind of deal could only end bloody. “The Codys get wind of it, you’ll never make it to court and you know it.”

“You going to tell them?”

“I don’t have to,” If the Codys didn’t know about it already, they would soon enough, with or without his interference. “Smurf has cops in her pocket. If Pearce has you on record, then you’re fucked.”

“Smurf’s not going to give a shit, because it’s got nothing to do with her. I don't have anything on her, just her boys,” Colby grinned manically. “She’s never cared if her boys got locked up before. Hell, she called the cops on you and Deran for boosting cars in high school, got you both sent up to juvie.”

“’Her _**boys**_...’” The plural there was interesting. “You pulled jobs with Deran. Where’s the ‘boys’ coming from?”

“Craig was there when I brought Ox in, he called the nurse, remember? I just said that. Don’t you listen?” Colby glared at him, annoyed and exasperated at having to repeat himself. “They saw how badly Ox was hurt. No one called an ambulance, but they laid hands on him like they could help, that makes them both accessories to his death.”

“So Pearce told you your testimony wouldn’t be enough, huh? The word of a junkie just wasn’t going to fly,” Pearce was covering his ass, his career couldn’t afford another hit after the Smurf debacle. “But you want Deran to pay for what happened to Ox, and if you couldn’t get him on his own, you’d bring Craig and the nurse down with him.”

“Craig will do that time, he’s not going to flip on Deran. That nurse, though,” Colby whistled, delighted to have that wild card in his pocket. “I’m guessing he’s not as well trained as you are. Peace gets him in a box for a few hours, threatens to have his nursing license revoked, have him charged as an accessory, and that dude is going to sing like a canary.”

“That nurse is basically an innocent bystander in all this shit, and you’re going to put a price on his head,” Adrian didn’t care about Linc one way or another, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see the guy hurt. “Colby, I know you’re hurting because of what happened to Ox, but this is not going to help you feel better, it’s only going to makes things worse.”

“If it were Deran who’d been killed pulling some job, you’d be burning this town to the ground to make it right.”

“If you really believe that,” In all fairness, that was something Adrian would probably do. “Then why the hell are you telling me all this?”

“Because you’re smart, Adrian,” Colby said with a wry smile. “You know Smurf will never let you out of here alive, she hates you too much, hates the power you have over Deran. She’s going to find a reason to kill you or make you kill yourself. The only way you survive is if you turn on them.”

“You mean if I turn on Deran,” Adrian cared about Deran more than himself, something neither Smurf, Pearce, or Colby could ever hope to understand. “You really don’t know me at all, do you?”

“Just think about it, okay?” Colby urged him as he rose from the bed. “Nothings happening tonight. You’ve got time to mull it over.”

“I don't need time to think about it.”

“Maybe another Smurf ordered tune up will change your mind.”

* * *

 

It was amazing how much stuff one person could accumulate over the course of a lifetime, Craig had a hard time figuring out what to do with it all. Realistically, he could throw out all the childhood mementos that were just collecting dust, but nostalgia had him tossing them into the ‘keep’ box instead of the trashcan, just as he’d done with almost everything else that morning.

“What are you doing, baby?” Smurf inquired, appearing in the doorway of his bedroom. “A little spring cleaning?”

“I’m moving into Baz’s place,” The house was in his name now, had been for a while, but he doubted he could ever truly call it his. “That’s why you gave it to me, right? You said to move in or sell it. I’m moving in.”

“I wanted you to have the option, baby, in case you weren’t happy here,” She strode into the room, skimming her hands over the bare shelves he’d already cleared. “It’s not because I want you to leave.”

“I need my own place,” He was an adult, it was time he started acting like one. “I got stuff going on that I can’t bring here.”

“What stuff?” Smurf questioned, reaching up to stroke his hair. “Hmm? You can tell me.”

“Just girl stuff, Smurf,” Not really the kind of things he wanted to discuss with his mom. “It doesn’t matter.”

“If you’re moving out because of it, it matters,” Smurf said, moving to sit on the bed. “Talk to me, baby.”

“It doesn’t...” He’d tried talking to his brothers about it, but neither of them had been particularly helpful. “No one cares how I feel about what’s going on.”

“Well, I’m not no one,” Smurf declared, patting a spot on the bed beside her. “What is it, baby?”

“It’s Renn,” Craig broached the topic cautiously, unsure of how his mother would react. “She had a baby a few months ago. A little girl.”

“Yours?”

“She says no,” To be fair, his immediate response to her pregnancy reveal had been to question the baby’s paternity, which probably wasn’t the best course of action. “But I’m not sure. The timing...it could be mine. _She_ could be mine.”

“You’ll get a paternity test,” Smurf decided, tugging on his arms until he sat down next to her. “I haven’t spent much time with Renn, but I know her type, they get around. You can’t be sure that baby is yours without a test.”

“She’s not going to agree to that,” He hadn’t asked for one, out of respect and a little fear of what the test would say. “She wants to raise the baby by herself.”

“She didn’t make that baby by herself, she doesn’t get to raise it herself,” Smurf snapped, voice harsh, demanding. “We’ll take her to court if we have to, but we are getting that test. And if that baby is yours we’ll deal with it.”

“Pope said I should leave it alone,” Craig wasn’t entirely certain that his brother was wrong. “He said if I really cared about her, I would stay away, keep her out of all this. Deran thinks I dodged a bullet when Renn told me the baby wasn’t mine.”

“Pope and Deran are parents, baby, they couldn’t possibly understand what you’re going through,” Smurf murmured softly, cupping his face in her hands. “But I do. I promise you, if that baby belongs to you, I will do whatever it takes to make sure we can see her as much as we like.”

“Renn doesn’t want me involved,” He couldn’t really blame her for that after all that shit he pulled on her. “I don’t want to force her hand. I’ve given her plenty of reasons to tell me to fuck off.”

“You hurt her, not that baby. She’s got no reason to keep you from your daughter,” Smurf remarked curtly, resting her head on his shoulder. “ _If_ she is your daughter.”

“I don't want Renn to get hurt,” He knew all too well how his mother could get when someone challenged her claim on their family.

“Of course not, baby,” Smurf smiled serenely. “We’ll talk to her, work something out. We’ll get the courts involved if we have to. No one is going to get hurt.”

“Yeah, okay,” He hoped they could work something out without it getting too messy. “Let me try to talk to her first. I don't want to get lawyers involved if we don’t have to.”

“If you think that’s best, baby,” Smurf agreed, nuzzling his neck as his phone blared to life on the nightstand. “Expecting a call?”

“Nope,” Craig extracted himself from his mother’s embrace to answer his cellphone. “Hello?”

“ _Craig,”_ Adrian’s panic-stricken voice filtered over the line. _“I need to ask you about something and it’s important you tell me the truth.”_

“Adrian, are you on a drop phone?” Craig hadn’t heard the customary ‘you have a call from inmate...’ when he answered, so he couldn’t be calling from a prison payphone. “How’d you get one of those?”

“ _You can get almost anything in here with enough cigarettes and money from your commissary account.”_

“I don’t think that’s what Deran put money in your account for,” Not that Craig was in any position to judge how someone spent their money. “I thought you were in the infirmary?”

“ _They never keep me for long. I’m back in gen-pop.”_

“Shit,” Throwing someone into general population straight from the infirmary seemed dangerous. “Anyway. What’s so important you gotta call me on a drop phone?”

“ _Did Colby bring Ox to The Drop after he got shot pulling a job?”_

“Uh,” That wasn’t a simple question to answer when he didn’t know what Deran had told Adrian about it. “W-Why do you want to know that?”

“ _Colby is here and planning to use that as his get out of jail free card.”_

“Oh shit,” Colby’s bitch ass turning rat was exactly what they did not need now or ever. “Why the fuck would he do that?”

“ _He blames Deran for Ox’s death.”_

“Ox’s _**death**_?” Ox being hurt, yeah, Craig had seen that with his own two eyes, but he didn’t know the dude had croaked. “Wait. Colby blames Deran for it? Deran didn’t pull that job with them. He gave it to them, but that’s it.”

“ _Doesn’t matter, in his mind, it’s Deran’s fault.”_

“Fuck,” Wasn’t that just fucking perfect. “So, he’s gonna roll on Deran, ‘cause he botched a job and got Ox killed?”

“ _Not just Deran. You and your nurse friend are collateral damage.”_

“Fuck!” Craig shouted, resisting the urge to lob his phone across the room. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“ _He’s counting on Linc’s testimony to make the case.”_

“That’s not going to happen,” Linc had given Craig his word that he’d keep his mouth shut. “Can you, like, keep Colby quiet until me and Deran figure this shit out?”

“ _You’re not telling Deran anything. He’s got enough going on.”_

“I have to tell Deran,” He couldn’t do it by himself, he wasn’t the brains of the operation. “I can’t do this on my own.”

“ _You can and you will.”_

“Adrian--”

“ _Colby said you were the one who called Linc to look at Ox.”_

“Yeah, I did,” What the fuck else was he supposed to do when Ox was bleeding out on the sofa? “So?”

“ _So, Colby’s not a reliable witness. He needs Linc’s testimony to corroborate his story. You brought Linc in, so it is your responsibility.”_

“Fuck,” This shit was just too much. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“ _You can’t kill him.”_

“Colby or Linc?”

“ _Linc, Craig. You can’t kill Linc.”_

“Duh,” Even if Craig was open to murdering someone, a former motorcross star suddenly disappearing would not go unnoticed by the public. “I can talk to him. Can you keep Colby in check until I do?”

“ _Yeah, I think so.”_

“Okay, good.” As long as everyone kept their mouths shut, it would all be fine. “Can I call you back on this number?”

“ _Yes.”_

“I’ll call you when I’ve got things settled on my end. Just keep Colby’s mouth shut.” Craig instructed, ending the call before Adrian could say anything further. “Fuck.”

“Craig,” Smurf’s voice was calm, even, a distinct difference to the rough grip of her hand that found its way to his chin. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” He fibbed, wincing when his mother’s nails bit into his skin. “N-Nothing.”

“Don’t you dare lie to me.”

“I’m not--”

“Craig!”

* * *

 

The bar wasn’t in complete disarray when Deran returned to it for the first time in quite awhile, he would count that as his only win for the day. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he’d left Kai in charge while he took time off, and she had proven to be an exemplary employee who deserved a substantial raise in pay.

“Are you coming back full time?” Kai asked timidly, lingering in his office. “If not, would you be willing to hire extra help for our busy nights?”

“I’m not coming back yet,” He should, he owed it to his staff, but he couldn’t focus on the bar until the work on the house was done. “I’ll look into hiring you some help.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Kai said gratefully. “I have to get things ready to open, but you, uh, you should get some sleep, you look like shit.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Basic hygiene and a regular sleep schedule weren’t high on his priority list. “I’ll be around tonight if things get busy out there.”

“All right, cool,” Kai grinned. “Thanks, boss.”

She gave him a quick wave and made her way back to the bar, leaving Deran alone with his paperwork and dark thoughts. He was spared from both after too long when his eldest brother showed up unexpectedly.

“It’s good to see you at work,” Pope mentioned, closing the door to give them some privacy. “You need to get back into a routine.”

“I’m only here for the night,” He wasn’t going to make it a regular thing. “Kai needs me to hire someone else, though. You sure you don’t want to pick up a few shifts?”

“I’m sure.”

“Maybe I’ll ask Jess,” Adrian’s sister had never tended bar, but Kai could show her the ropes. “She’d make better tips here than at the diner.”

“It would give her days with her kid too,” Pope said, sitting on the couch. “She’s a pretty girl, though, you really want to put her in Craig’s line of sight?”

“Hell no, but she’s not going to give Craig the time of day,” When it came to women, Craig’s morals were questionable at best, but he knew no meant no. “She and Renn are mom-friends now, so I’m sure she’s heard all kinds of stories that don’t paint Craig in a great light.”

“What’s your take on that?” Pope questioned curiously. “All the Craig, Renn, baby stuff.”

“The kid is definitely his,” Deran had spotted the Cody on that kid the first time he’d seen her. “She’s only a couple months old, but she is the spitting image of Craig.”

“Craig seems to think she’s his too,” Pope acknowledged. “He wants to be in the kids life. You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think Craig reminds me a lot of Julia, great when sober and a fucking train wreck when high,” His brother and sister had different drugs of choice, but they were more alike than any of them realized. “Craig is high all the time. He can’t function without snorting _something_ up his nose. If he wants to be a father to that girl, he need to kick the coke and put distance between himself and Smurf.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Pope said definitively. “He’s finally got her attention, and that baby guarantees he keeps it.”

“That’s not why he wants to be in the kid’s life,” Craig might’ve been a disaster, but he wasn’t quite selfish enough to use a baby to get their mother’s attention. “He just wants to be that kid’s dad, but he can’t be the way he is now.”

“Renn wasn’t exactly the most stable either,” Pope pointed out. “That’s one of the reasons she and Craig got along so well.”

“Renn changed when she had the baby. Instead of doing speed-balls, she’s going to _Mommy and Me_ classes,” If that little girl was Deran’s niece, he was glad she had at least one parent willing to make an effort. “She changed so she could be a good mom, Craig won’t do that to be a father.”

“You’re probably right.”

“You didn’t come here to talk to me about Craig’s baby drama,” Deran pushed his paperwork aside and swiveled the chair around to face his brother. “What are you doing here, Pope?”

“You left your place pretty fast yesterday after that call about Adrian,” Pope remarked casually. “He okay?”

“No,” Adrian was breathing, but he was pretty far from okay in Deran’s book. “He tried to act like he was, though, like always.”

“If you knew everything that was happening to him, you’d go off the rails, do something reckless and stupid, and get yourself hurt,” Pope predicted. “Playing it cool is the only way he can protect you from in there.”

“I know everything that’s happening to him,” He didn’t know every dirty detail, but he knew enough. “He’s being beaten on a regular basis. He’s been...”

“Raped,” Pope guessed, lowering his gaze to the floor. “Deran, things happen in prison, they’re not okay, but they happen. We deal with it and we move on, because if we don’t, it consumes us, and if that happens, we lose the strength and will to keep our guard up, and that’s how we end up dead.”

“Were you...” Deran assumed, after Pope had been released, that something had happened to him while he was inside, but he’d never been brave enough to ask. “I always thought Smurf would’ve paid to have you protected, so something like that would never happen.”

“I screwed up,” Pope admitted, taking responsibility for what happened at the bank that day. “Suffering through prison on my own, with no help from the outside world, that was my punishment.”

“Baz tripped over a trashcan, you drew down on the guard so he could make it out the back.” If anyone had screwed up that day it was Baz not Pope. “Why didn’t Baz go behind Smurf’s back to get you protection? You saved his ass.”

“Baz only went behind Smurf’s back if it suited his interests,” Pope divulged. “Helping me didn’t do that.”

“Because with you out of the way, he got Smurf all to himself,” And if he had Smurf’s attention, he could influence her decisions, in theory anyway. “Craig and Adrian pulled their funds to get me protection when I did my six months in East Mesa. I’ve tried getting some for Adrian, but it never works out, something always falls through. It’s like there’s a factor I’m not seeing.”

“We’ll find a way to protect Adrian,” Pope promised him. “But you need to find a way to get right with what’s happening to him before he gets out. You have to be the one to hold it together. If you can’t, you have to let him go.”

“I can’t let him go,” They’d been through too much together, cared too much for each other to just let it go. “I can hold it together, so long as he comes out whole.”

“Physically whole is going to have to be good enough,” Pope reckoned, and for someone like him that was the optimistic take on things. “Even without the assaults, prison changes you, fucks with your head.”

“I remember,” Deran had only done a few months, but it had taken him longer than he was willing to admit to shake it. “I can handle it when he gets out. I can. I just need to know he’s as safe as he can be in there. I can’t stand knowing what’s happening and not being able to help him.”

“We’ll protect him,” Pope promised again. “But you need to get yourself right too. This self-imposed isolation bullshit ain’t you. You’re not that weak. You didn’t work this hard to get where you are just to fall back to square one because your boyfriend got locked up.”

“Pope--”

“Get it the fuck together, Deran,” His older brother ordered him, leaving no room for argument. “We can’t afford to be a man down. You’re no good to anybody when you’re acting like a broody bitch.”

“All right. Jesus.” Message fucking received. “I hear you.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

Adrian wasn’t a pacer by nature, but he’d picked up the habit during his time in prison. Repeatedly walking the length of his cell didn’t accomplish anything, but it kept him from checking the drop phone for messages every ten seconds. He was sure he would’ve worn a hole in the cement if the phone hadn’t begun vibrating when it did.

“It’s about time,” He pressed the green ‘accept’ button and brought the device up to his ear. “I don’t have a lot of time before the guards shift change, so tell me the plan and do it quick.”

“ _Smurf knows, so it’s out of our hands,”_ Craig responded swiftly, as instructed. _“That quick enough for you?”_

“Smurf knows,” That was not the development Adrian had been waiting for. “What exactly does she know?”

“ _Everything. She overheard me talking to you this morning.”_

“So you confessed?” Adrian snapped, wanting to pull his own hair out in frustration. “W-Why, Craig?”

“ _I didn’t know what to do,”_ Craig whined obnoxiously. _“She has a plan.”_

“Which is?”

“ _She said she’ll talk to Colby.”_

“Makes sense,” If they could convince Colby to pull his deal, all parties involved would be safe from prosecution. “ _ **How**_ is she going to talk to him?”

“ _What do you mean?”_

“She’s not going to come here to talk to him herself,” That was too risky, and if she failed, she could potentially be charged with witness tampering. “Who is she going to get to talk to him?”

“ _I don’t know,”_ Craig huffed irritably. _“Whoever she’s got on her payroll on the inside. It’s gotta be someone in there with you.”_

“That’s not comforting,” Adrian had met with Smurf’s inside men personally, and not one of them was particularly chatty. “These guys don’t talk, Craig.”

“ _What does it even matter, man?”_ Craig grumbled. _“Colby’s a rat, Smurf’s going to handle it.”_

“Colby was our friend,” Call Adrian crazy but that meant something to him. “And you don’t know how Smurf handles things here.”

“ _Smurf said she was dealing with it. You know as well as I do that we can’t stop her.”_

“You can’t stop her.” Adrian slammed the flip phone closed, throwing it onto the bed. “Maybe I can.”

He was painfully aware of how Smurf dealt with problems inside the prison. He’d kept his mouth and was still assaulted on Smurf’s order, which didn’t bode well for Colby when he was running his mouth. Adrian had meant what he said, Colby had been a friend for a long time, and he couldn’t let him be brutalized if he could stop it.

“Hey, Sullivan,” Adrian spoke to the prisoner in the cell across from his. “I need you to get something for me.”

“And I need to bury my face in a pair of tits like yesterday, bro,” Sullivan quipped, smirking around his cigarette. “Guess neither of us are getting what we want.”

“Come on, man, I’ve got currency,” He had just enough cigarettes left to trade for the tool he hoped he wouldn’t need. “You really going to pass that up?”

“All right, fine,” The prospect of a new supply of cancer sticks was all it took to persuade Sullivan to help him. “What do you need, my unfortunate friend?”

* * *

 

The garage was nearly empty when Smurf strolled in, not unusual given the hour. The only person still there was her contact, Pedro ‘Pete’ Trujillo, who was waiting patiently for her at the customer service desk.

“Smurf,” He addressed her politely. “Good to see you again.”

“I appreciate you meeting me on short notice,” She thanked him as she slid into the open chair. “Is your cousin enjoying his special toy?”

“For what you’re paying,” Pete chuckled darkly. “It’s the best toy he’s ever played with.”

“Good,” Smurf took a thick envelope from her purse and dropped it on the table. “That’s double the usual fee.”

“You must have something new in mind,” Pete mused, subtly counting the cash in the envelope. “Why keep messing with this kid? Why not just kill him? Unless that’s what the extra money is for...”

“Adrian doesn’t get to die,” As much as she would like to have Adrian out of the way, permanently, it just wasn’t the right time. “His death would break my baby’s heart.”

“He knows you’re behind it, you made sure of that,” Pete reminded her of the message she ordered his cousin Carlos to give to Adrian upon their initial meeting. “What’s to stop him from telling your son?”

“He won’t tell Deran, but Deran will find out. Deran will hate me for it, and that will serve it’s own purpose.” The more he hated her now, the more he’d have to beg for her love and forgiveness later. “Everything I do has a purpose.”

“And your purpose for the kid?” Pete asked before thinking better of that line of questioning. “Not that it’s my business.”

“Adrian will never be able to look at my Deran again without remembering what I had done to him. It’ll make his skin crawl and his stomach sick. He won’t be able to stand it.” She would feel bad for the damage she was inflicting upon him if she hadn’t given him plenty of warnings not to get to close to Deran. He had a chance to avoid all the suffering he was enduring now, he didn’t take it, that was his fault, not hers. “He’ll leave. Deran will be heartbroken, and with nowhere else to turn, he’ll come home.”

“If this isn’t to kill him,” Pete held up the envelope of money. “What’s the extra for?”

“I don't want Adrian killed, but I do want him silenced, Carlos can decide how,” The ‘silencing’ would be a symbolic gesture at best, but she hoped it would get her point across just as well. “There is another prisoner, however, who is in need of your cousins personal touch.”

“This prisoner got a name?”

* * *

 

Getting into P.C. was as simple as telling a guard he had changed his mind about Colby’s offer. The guard leaving the two of them alone together in the cell was just dumb luck.

“So,” Colby reclined on his bunch, relaxed as can be. “It didn’t take as long as I thought for you to come crawling back.”

“I’m not crawling,” Adrian stood tall, on his own two feet, just as he always had. “I’m not here to accept the deal, but I do want to help you, Colby.”

“How’s that?” Colby asked, a bored expression on his face. “You gonna try to talk me out of going through with the deal?”

“Smurf already knows what you’re planning to do, Colby,” Adrian refused to say how she knew, knowing that it was would do more harm than good. “You’re already a target to her. You need to get Pearce to transfer you.”

“No,” Colby shook his head. “I’m not going to spend what little time I’m in here being scared of Smurf Cody.”

“Don’t be scared of her, be scared of what she’s going to have done to you,” Adrian lifted his shirt, showing off the bruising of his busted ribs, and the variety of wounds in various stages of healing scattered along his torso and back. “I haven’t said a damn thing, and this is what she’s had done to me...among other things.”

“Let’s be real, man,” Colby sat up, resting his arms on his knees. “She’s fucking you up because you fucked her baby boy.”

“This isn’t a goddamn game, Colby,” Although, if Adrian were being honest, there was probably a direct correlation to his relationship with Deran and the amount of bullshit Smurf was putting him through. “Yes, Deran and I are together, but I’ve never threatened to put him and his brother in prison. What she’s doing to me, that’s small fry compared to what she’ll do to you.”

“I’m not afraid,” Colby remarked impassively. “What’s the worse she can do, kill me?”

“That’s not the worst thing she will do to you,” On his bad days, Adrian would welcome death if it happened to greet him. “She’s going to make you wish you were dead. I don't want that for you or anyone else.”

“So this is you trying to protect me?” Colby snorted. “Come on, dude.”

“It doesn’t stop, Colby,” Adrian tried to get his friend to fully comprehend the severity of what would happen to him if he chose to go down this road. “You might get a day or even a week of rest between attacks, but it’s not enough time for your wounds to heal or your body to feel like yours again.”

“Look, man, I get what you’re trying to do here. You’re trying to help me, sure, but you’re also trying to get Deran in the clear,” Colby muttered, getting up from the bunk to stand in front of him. “You’re shit out of luck on both, because I’m not reneging on my deal, and I’m not going to be here long enough for Smurf to have anything done to me.”

“You think your deal is going to go through overnight?” The criminal justice system didn’t work that efficiently. “You’ll be here until the trial, and that’s only if your corroborating witness makes it to court to testify.”

“I haven’t even given Pearce the nurses name yet, I’m trying to keep him on the hook so I can best deal possible,” Colby revealed, pursing his lips. “If Smurf knows who he is, that’s on you.”

“Colby--”

“Did you give her his name because he and Deran were fucking?” Colby questioned, eyes gleaming with amusement. “I thought I picked up on something there. He was definitely fucking a Cody, I just couldn’t figure out which one, I mean, Craig did seem to be the one with a major hard-on for the guy, but I couldn’t be sure.”

“I didn’t tell Smurf anything,” His sin was telling Craig, and that was a mistake he would have to live with. “But she knows, and that blows up your whole deal.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Colby shrugged. “She won’t do anything right away. I’ve got time to think of something to keep my deal on the table.”

“Do you want me to tell you, in excruciating detail, what she’ll have done to you?” While he would prefer to keep those details to himself for the rest of his natural life, he would tell Colby if that’s what it would take to change his mind. “Colby just...stop, okay? You’ve been around the Codys almost as long as I have. You know how they operate. You know how this works. You won’t win. You can't beat her at this game, not from in here.”

“Jesus Christ, man, this isn’t about Smurf, it never has been,” Colby said scornfully. “This is about Deran and what he did to Ox.”

“It is always about Smurf,” In the matriarch’s mind, the only one allowed to make her boys pay for their crimes was her. “She will destroy you for even thinking of flipping on Deran, and she will smile while she does it.”

“She can try.”

“No, she can’t. I won’t let her,” Adrian tucked a hand into his pocket, gripping the plastic handle of the shiv he’d bartered off Sullivan. “I know what she’ll do to you, ‘cause she’s done it to me.”

“Yeah, dude, you’ve said that,” Colby commented, glancing over Adrian’s shoulder as the heavy plod of footsteps sounded down the hall. “I think the guard’s coming back.”

“It’s not the guard,” Adrian would recognize those footsteps anywhere, they were imprinted in his brain after sixteen months of hell. “It’s Smurf’s favorite enforcer.”

“Maybe he’s here for you,” Colby gulped, suddenly nervous as he took a cautionary step back. “Yeah, he’s definitely here for you.”

“The only person who knows I’m here is the guard who brought me,” Adrian slid the shiv from his pocket, feeling a dark presence looming behind him. “We were friends once, Colby, so I’m not going to let him hurt you like he hurts me.”

“O-Okay,” Colby nodded, eyes catching on the weapon in his hands. “D-Do what you gotta do, man.”

“I will.”


	4. turn ourselves into these ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Warnings: Homophobic language and whatever warnings were in the previous chapter.  
> Chapter titles: [Walk Through the Fire by Zayde Wølf & Ruelle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIdJi5IE0P0)  
> Gif sets: [dolan family business](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890286256/animal-kingdom-bloodwater-dolan-family-business), [mr. dolan](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890283776/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-mr-dolan)

Deran had been sleeping on the couch at the bar when he’d gotten the call from one of his contacts inside the prison. Adrian had been hurt, again, this time severely enough to be transferred to county hospital. Now, Deran was sitting in a cold, unfriendly waiting room with his brothers, getting a migraine from the overhead lights.

“Hey,” Pope nudged him, shoving a cup of something warm between his hands. “It’s vending machine crap, but it’s better than nothing.”

“How’s Adrian?” Craig asked, kicked back in the chair beside him. “Gotta be bad if they moved him here, right?”

“I don’t know,” The guard Deran had spoken to hadn’t been very forthcoming about Adrian’s injuries. “No one here will talk to me. I’m not family.”

“Not legally, anyway,” Pope grumbled, scanning the waiting area. “Why isn’t his sister here yet?”

“I haven’t called her,” Even if Deran could work up the nerve to make that call, he had no idea what he would say to her. “I don’t think she should hear about any of this over the phone, but I...I can’t leave until I know something.”

“I can go get her,” Craig volunteered, either trying to be helpful or just wanting to get away from the antiseptic hospital smell. “She still in that little house off Pacific?”

“Yeah,” Deran had just been out there the previous day to check on her. “Have some tact when you talk to her, okay? Don’t be an asshole.”

“What the fuck do you think I’m going to say?”

“You’re going to tell her that her brother’s in the hospital, then you’ll offer to drive her here,” Pope instructed their brother on how to handle the house call. “We don't know anything, so you can’t tell her anything.”

“I got it. I got it.” Craig huffed, rising from the chair. “I’ll gently encourage her to come with me to the hospital, ‘cause her brother’s been hurt, but we don’t know how bad.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Deran could only hope his brother would follow that script. “And, you know, Pope, you don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”

He really wasn’t fine, but he was numb. Numb was good. Numb kept him together, helped him focus on what happened next, when Adrian was okay again, and he would be okay again, Deran wouldn’t accept anything less.

“I’ll be fine,” He repeated, peering up at his oldest brother. “Really. You can go.”

“I’m gonna take a walk,” Pope said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Just through the halls.”

“Okay,” While he still thought it was unnecessary, Deran appreciated his brother sticking close, being nearby in case shit went bad. “Thanks.”

* * *

 

Pope wandered the hospital feeling useless, unable to help his brother or prepare him for the fallout when he didn’t know how badly Adrian was hurt or how he would fare. His wandering led him through a set ‘restricted access’ double doors and toward the ER. A number of exam rooms were occupied, but only one had armed guards standing post outside, and Pope would bet that room belonged to Adrian, a suspicion that was confirmed when he slipped behind the flimsy paper curtain.

The kid was laid out on a gurney, unconscious, looking like death warmed over. His skin gray and washed out, wires and tubes sticking out of him every which way, and gauze stretched across his throat, soaked through with blood. Adrian wasn’t flat-lining, not yet, but a nurse was readying the defibrillator, preparing for the worst just as the machines he was connected to all started going haywire.

The heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen level alarms screeched loudly, falling out of rhythm, too high or too low. Adrian struggled to breath, unable to get enough air, and was losing blood quicker than the packets of it on the IV stand could replenish it. Things were fixing to go downhill fast if someone didn’t step the hell up.

Pope had no medical training beyond basic first aid. He would never presume to know more than the professionals working hard to keep the kid alive, but he did know Adrian, and that had to count for something. It was that personal knowledge that moved him around the hospital staff to lean over the gurney and slam his palm down next to Adrian’s head.

“Knock it off,” He snarled into the kid’s ear. “ _ **Knock it off**_.”

Logically, he knew it was the doctors and nurses combined intervention, not his order, that caused Adrian’s vitals to begin to stabilize, but he would take the win.

“That’s right. There you go. Good,” Pope praised the kid, wiping sweat from his brow as he met the questioning gazes from the medical staff. “He needs a firm hand.”

“Are you a family member?” A nurse asked, checking the cables on the monitors to see that they were connected properly and prove the sudden shift in Adrian’s condition wasn’t a fluke. “A friend?”

“Family,” It wasn’t a lie, so to speak, the kid had practically been family since the day Deran dragged him home, it just wasn’t official. “He’s my brother-in-law.”

“I don’t care who you are,” A doctor with a name tag reading ‘Riggs’ snapped at him. “You need to get out of here.”

“Will you tell me if he‘s going to be all right?” Pope needed some kind of assurance to take back to Deran.

“He won’t be if you keep distracting us,” The doctor said impatiently. “You want us to help your brother, you need to step out so we can focus and do our jobs. Okay?”

“Fine.”

* * *

 

Jess Dolan’s small bungalow was a far cry from the Dolan family trailer, but still not much to write home about. Adrian’s Wagoneer was parked in the driveway, grease-covered tools strung out beside it, and Adrian’s father, Hank, ducked under the hood, tinkering around. Craig wasn’t itching for a confrontation with the guy, so he avoided eye contact and made a beeline for the porch, banging his fist against the screen door, not expecting his ex-girlfriend to answer.

“Uh, hi,” He greeted her awkwardly. “What, uh, what are you doing here so early? The sun’s barely up.”

“The kids’ play date ran late. Jess and I were having fun hanging out. I ended up crashing here last night,” Renn explained, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. “What are _**you**_ doing here?”

“I, um, I need to talk to Jess,” Why the hell else would he be there? “It’s about Adrian.”

“Crap.” Renn read between the lines, pushing the screen door open to allow him inside. “Come on.”

Craig hadn’t spent much time with Adrian’s sister, but he remembered her as a scrawny teenager with neon streaks in her hair, an attitude the size of Texas, and an adoring smile usually directed at her big brother. Now, her hair had faded back to it’s natural color, and that smile was directed at her son standing on unsteady legs at her side and the baby girl in her lap...Renn’s baby girl. _**Craig’s**_ baby girl.

“She’s beautiful,” Craig said breathlessly, memorizing his daughter’s face. “Fuck. She’s really beautiful.”

“I’ll take her,” Renn lifted her baby daughter off her friend’s lap, cradling her protectively in her arms. “Jess, honey, Craig needs to talk to you about Adrian.”

“What happened to him this time?” Jess asked, climbing to her feet. “What’s wrong with my brother?”

“I don't know,” Craig had no news to offer her, he hadn’t heard from his brothers since he left the hospital. “They transferred him to county.”

“That means it’s bad.” Jess deduced, taking her son’s hand in hers to keep him close. “They wouldn’t transfer him unless he needed surgery or something, right?”

“I guess,” A transfer would’ve only be authorized if it was something the prison infirmary couldn’t handle. “Deran didn’t want you to find out from someone else. He sent me to give you a ride to the hospital, and since the Wagon’s out of commission, I’m guessing you need one.”

“The Wagon’s fine, Dad’s just giving it a tune-up before he goes to work,” Jess dismissed any mechanical issues. “He, um, he can give me a ride. He’ll want to be there.”

“He will?” That didn’t sound like the Mr. Dolan Craig knew, then again, he didn’t know him all that well. “You sure?”

“Dad’s an asshole, but he still loves us,” Jess claimed, raking a hand through her hair. “And they’ve been trying with each other, you know? Dad’s been going to visit Adrian since he got put away, and before that, when Adrian and Deran weren’t speaking to each other, Adrian started spending time with Dad, just hanging out. They still fight, but they’ve gotten closer, started to act like father and son. If Adrian’s hurt, Dad will want to be there.”

“I can watch the baby for you,” Renn offered. “I can keep him as long as you need me to.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” Jess picked her son up, wrapping him tightly in her arms. “I want him with me. The family should be together. But, um, if you wouldn’t mind coming with us...”

“Of course,” Renn squeezed the other woman’s shoulder comfortingly. “Hey, Adrian’s going to be okay, you know that, right? He’s put up with Cody bullshit for over twenty years and lived to tell the tale. In my book, that makes him pretty much indestructible.”

“’Cody bullshit’,” Craig would’ve been offended if he didn’t know what she’d meant by that. “That’s not nice.”

“Maybe not, but it’s true.”

* * *

 

Growing up, Deran learned quickly what he could and could not say to his family and how he could or couldn’t behave around them. Resignation and anger were acceptable, but things like happiness or grief, sadness or depression could be used against him. He found other outlets to express the emotions he couldn’t take to his family, and nine times out of ten that outlet was Adrian.

He could goto Adrian cool and calm or raging mad, a sobbing mess or completely subdued. Adrian would let him in every time, listen to him rant and rave about his troubles, his wants and needs, anything and everything he needed to get off his chest. Adrian took it all for him, his secrets, his trauma, and his tears, and he locked it all away. Adrian was the one person he could be honest to without fearing repercussions.

Since Adrian had been in prison, Deran had kept to himself, internalizing every dark thought, feeling, and fear until he was overflowing with it. He wanted to get it out. He wanted to rage and scream or cry, but he couldn’t when the one person he was comfortable being that way with was fighting for his life in an operating room. All Deran could do was sit in a hard plastic chair, under fluorescent lights, and count chips in the beige wall paint.

“I think we were lucky with Baz,” Pope mentioned, choosing to stand, leaned against the wall, rather than sit in the bank of chairs. “He was dead before we knew he was hurt. There was no waiting or wondering.”

“He was just gone,” Their brother had died surrounded by strangers who probably knew his blood type before they knew his name. “I’d rather wait, so he’s not alone.”

“You know this was Smurf, right?” Pope asked, scuffing his shoe against the dirty linoleum. “Everything that’s happened to Adrian since he’s been inside, that was on Smurf’s order.”

“I know,” Adrian never told him, hadn’t even implied it, but Deran had always known, because one way or another, it always came back to Smurf. “Telling her I know would be useless, she’ll just deny it, and she won’t stop. Buying Adrian protection hasn’t work out for me, and I’m not naive enough to believe leaving Adrian would get her to back off. So, all I get to do is wait for a phone call telling me he’s hurt again, and sit by his side for a few hours in the infirmary.”

“It’s not about you, you know, not really,” Pope said sadly. “She can’t control him, get him to go away, or bring him close, so she wants to break him.”

“She’s never tried to bring him close,” It used to bug Deran when he was a kid. Smurf had brought Baz into the fold so easily, but Adrian she kept at a distance and refused to accept as anything more than an outsider. “And Adrian’s too smart to let her try.”

“That’s true.”

“How did you get Smurf to leave Lena alone?” Deran inquired, hoping to get some insight on how to successfully get their mother off Adrian’s scent. “She was all set to adopt her, then she didn’t.”

“I agreed to move back in, she agreed to forget Lena existed,” Pope’s face twisted in grief over the loss of their niece. “That’s not a deal you can make with Smurf.”

“Yes, it is,” It might’ve been the only option he had left if he wanted Adrian to make it out of prison alive.

“Deran--” Pope’s protests died on his lips as the doors to the hospital entrance slid open and Craig, Renn, and the Dolan family shuffled in, stress and worry sitting heavily on all their shoulders.

“H-How is he?” Jess asked as Deran jumped to his feet to greet her. “Where is he?”

“He’s still in the ER, I think,” Deran hadn’t been able to get an update on him. “The doctors won’t tell me shit.”

“Have you tried asking nicely?” Hank Dolan questioned, turning on an easy smile for the nurse at the reception desk. “Excuse me, ma’am, I’m looking for information on my son, Adrian Dolan.”

“I’ll let the doctor know you’re here,” The nurse said, picking up the phone receiver. “It’ll be just a minute.”

“What the hell is he doing here?” Deran growled at Jess, put off by the older man’s presence. “Why would you bring him here?”

“Do not start with me,” Jess thrust a finger in Deran’s face. “He’s Adrian’s family too. He has every right to be here, same as you. So give it a rest.”

“Okay, okay,” Deran backed off, if only because angering Jess would be bad for his health. “I’ll shut up.”

“You’re the family of Adrian Dolan?” A middle-aged doctor with graying hair appeared in front of them. “His next of kin?”

“I’m his father, Hank Dolan,” Hank elbowed Deran out of the way to wrap an arm around his daughter. “This is his sister, Jess.”

“I’m Dr. Riggs, I’ve been treating your son.” The doctor introduced himself as he looked over the thick chart in his hands. “Your son was brought in with several injuries, most of which were already recorded in his medical file provided by the prison--”

“We just need to know about the new injuries,” Deran doubted Adrian would want his father or sister to know the specifics of those previous injuries. “Why was he brought **_here_**?”

“There’s a laceration across his throat made by something with an uneven, jagged edge, perhaps a crudely made shiv of some kind,” The doctor moved a finger across his own throat to show them the general location of Adrian’s wound. “For the most part, it’s a shallow cut, deep enough to scar but not do any long term damage, however, it did nick his carotid artery, and he lost a significant amount of blood, but we were able to stabilize him.”

“Can we see him?” Jess asked, shifting her son on her hip.

“I’m sorry, it’s going to be a little while, we’ve just moved him into recovery,” Dr. Riggs frowned apologetically. “And he’s still a prisoner, so that’s something you’ll have to talk to the guards about.”

“But he’s going to be okay, right?”

“Barring any complications, I expect him to make a full recovery,” The doctor assured them. “I have other patients to attend to, but I will have a nurse contact you if his condition changes. The best thing you can do right now is go home and get some rest.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Deran planted his ass back down in the waiting room chair, settling in for a long wait. “Not until I see him.”

“I don't think anyone’s going anywhere anytime soon,” Jess muttered, sitting down in the chair next to him. “It’s gonna be a long day.”

“Well, isn’t this a picture,” Detective Pearce whistled, sauntering in from the hall. “The Codys and Dolans coming together in dark times. Adrian would be so happy to see everyone getting along, Smurf not so much.”

“Jesus Christ, man. What do you want?” Craig glowered at the detective, stepping in front of Renn and his daughter, blocking them from Pearce’s view. “Adrian’s prison beef isn’t in your jurisdiction.”

“Oh, I was just curious,” Pearce said, clasping his hands together. “I thought it was awfully coincidental that in the same night, in the same prison, Adrian had his throat slashed and Colby Bennett was found dead.”

“Colby’s dead?” Deran couldn’t help but see the coincidence in the timing as well. “What happened?”

“Single stab wound to the heart, he went quick. What’s interesting is he was in protective custody, not easy to get to,” Pearce clarified the circumstances. “Adrian was found bleeding out in his own locked cell ten minutes later. Smurf cleaning house?”

“What makes you think Smurf had anything to do with this?” Pope questioned, schooling his expression to one of innocence and curiosity. “We all know she hates Adrian, but why go after Colby?”

“Because he was going to flip on her baby boys,” Pearce waved a hand between Craig and Deran. “I had him and he had a witness who could corroborate his story. Deran and Craig were going down as accessories to murder, among other things.”

“What murder?” Deran played dumb. He knew who Colby had lost and why he blamed Deran.

“You’ll find out when I decide to charge you,” Pearce shut down that line of questioning. “I’m not here because I think Adrian had anything to do with that murder or with Colby’s death. I think he’d do just about anything to protect you, Deran, but I think he’d draw the line at killing someone or covering up a murder for you.”

“I agree,” Deran hoped he’d never put Adrian in the position to do anything like that. “What do you want with him?”

“I think what happened to him and what happened to Colby are connected,” Peace told him. “I want to ask him a few questions.”

“He’s not up for questions,” Jess chimed in, eyes flickering nervously between the Codys and the detective. “You can ask the doctors.”

“I already have,” Pearce smiled cordially at the young woman before turning on his heels, leaving the same way he’d come.

“I swear to God,” Hank rounded on Deran as soon as the detective was out of earshot. “If you got Adrian involved in someones murder--”

“I didn’t,” And that was the Gods honest truth, as far as Deran knew. “I would never put something like that on him.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t,” Hank acknowledged, giving Deran the benefit of the doubt. “But he would take that on for you.”

* * *

 

The doctor’s assurance that Adrian would be all right allowed everyone to relax and calm down a bit, let go of some of the stress that had them on edge. Pope and Craig stood together by the magazine rack, keeping an eye on everyone and chatting idly. Hank Dolan was off on his own, sitting away from the others, staring pensively at the floor. Renn and Jess had gone to the cafeteria to get everyone some food and cheap coffee, leaving Jess’s son in Deran’s care.

To the best of Pope’s recollection, Deran had never been any good with kids. He didn’t care for them and that feeling was mutual, they didn’t like him much either, but he seemed strangely comfortable with Adrian’s nephew. He bounced the baby on his lap and tickled his sides, grinning brightly when he earned a giggle from the boy.

“They seem close,” Pope said to Craig, observing the pair. “Been spending a lot of time together, huh?”

“Deran goes to check in on Jess every other day or so for Adrian,” Craig replied, smiling at the adorable picture their brother and the baby made. “If she’s overwhelmed or tired, he’ll watch the kid for a while so she can have a break. It’s what Adrian would do if he were around.”

“Yeah,” Although, Pope couldn’t remember Adrian being particularly good with children either. “It’s good for Deran.”

“Yeah,” Craig nodded, glancing at the elder Dolan across the room. “What’s your take on that? Jess said he’s been visiting Adrian a lot, and that Adrian hung out with him when he and Deran were on the outs. Why do you think he would do that?”

“Same reason Deran goes to Smurf when he and Adrian are on the outs,” Heartbreak led to some stupid ass decisions. “What’s Adrian’s relationship with his old man have to do with you?”

“It just seems weird is all,” Craig shrugged. “Adrian’s injury’s a little weird too, right? Shallow except for a nicked artery, like they weren’t trying to kill him.”

“I think nicking the artery was an accident,” Pope knew as much as his mother wanted Adrian dead, she couldn’t pull the trigger on him unless she was prepared to lose Deran forever. “You want to tell me about this Colby shit Pearce thinks he has on you and Deran?”

“Deran gave Colby and Ox an idea for a job, they pulled it without him and botched it. Ox got shot and Colby took him to _The Drop_. I called this nurse guy Deran was screwing at the time, but he couldn’t do much, so we sent Colby and Ox to our doctor friend in Mexico. And Ox...Ox didn’t make it,” Craig confessed somberly. “Colby blames Deran for Ox’s death. He was going to flip on us to get back at Deran.”

“How did you know he was going to flip?” Pope never thought Colby was the brightest bulb, but he didn’t think the guy would be stupid enough to brag about being a rat to a Cody. “Deran was surprised by everything Pearce was saying. You weren’t. You already knew about the threat.”

“Colby visited Adrian while he was in the infirmary, tried to get him to go along with the deal, flip on us and get out of jail early,” Craig revealed. “He called me from a drop phone yesterday, said since Colby’s deal hinged upon a witness, the nurse, that I was the one who had to fix it.”

“Did you?”

“Uh, no,” Craig cringed, hunching his shoulders to appear smaller. “Smurf said she’d do it.”

“You told Smurf,” Well, that explained how Colby ended up dead. “I don't think that’s what Adrian meant when he told you to fix it, Craig.”

“She was sitting right next to me when Adrian called. She wouldn’t let me leave until I told her what was going on,” Craig chewed the inside of his cheek anxiously. “I didn’t tell her everything. I didn’t tell her about Lin-- the nurse. Adrian said the guy was pretty much an innocent bystander that didn’t deserve to be involved in all this. And I thought if Smurf knew who he was...”

“She’d kill him,” As of late, their mother seemed to be under the impression that murder was the only way to solve a problem. “We know if this nurse has talked to the cops?”

“I talked to him after I talked to Smurf. He had no idea who Detective Pearce was and he doesn’t even know that Ox is dead,” Craig sagged against the wall, tension leaving his body. “With Colby gone, we’re in the clear.”

“He’s not gone, Craig, he’s dead,” That was an important distinction. “If the only thing you didn’t tell Smurf about was the nurse, that means she knows Adrian knows all of this.”

“Yeah,” Craig nodded slowly. “By now she’s gotta know he’d keep his mouth shut. I mean, he told us about the threat. That’s why she didn’t kill him to.”

“Just slashed his throat,” Which in itself served two purposes. “She was warning him of what would happen if he talked. And the scar it’s going to leave...that’s a permanent reminder of everything she’s done to him already and everything she still could do. She marked him.”

“What, like a brand?” Craig raised a brow. “That’s not really Smurf’s style.”

“Yeah, well, the usual tactics haven’t worked on Adrian,” Maybe she was trying something new. “Stay here. Watch Deran. Call me if Adrian’s condition changes.”

“Where are you going?”

“To talk to Smurf.”

* * *

 

The prison guard assigned to Adrian was either bored by the task or didn’t see Adrian as much of a flight risk in his current condition. He sat outside the hospital room, reading a newspaper, not bothering to check who was coming or going from the room. Deran didn’t even have to slip the guy a bribe, he just strolled past him into the room unhindered.

He had gotten used to seeing Adrian in a hospital bed over the last sixteen months, but it was different this time. Adrian’s too pale complexion and the thick strip of gauze covering the width of his throat made it painfully clear how easily things could’ve gone the other way. If the wound on Adrian’s neck had been just a little deeper, the artery sliced through instead of nicked, he would be viewing Adrian’s body on a slab in the morgue, not a hospital room.

“Fuck.” Deran shuddered, wrapping his fingers around the bed railing to steady himself.

He expected Adrian to wake up, to look up at him with tired blue eyes and tell him he was fine, just like always. Adrian was good like that. When they were twelve, he’d broken his arm skateboarding, the bone was sticking out and everything, and had just laughed off the pain, told everyone to relax, ‘cause it wasn’t that bad. No matter how badly he was hurt, he’d insist he was fine and that anyone who said otherwise was just overreacting.

Adrian didn’t wake up this time, though, his body was too weak to regain consciousness. It was better that way, Deran supposed, the longer Adrian slept, the better he’d feel when he woke, in theory, anyway.

“Come to get an up close and personal look at your mother’s handy work?” Hank Dolan’s voice sounded behind him, sending chills down his spine.

“I came to see if he was okay,” Not that he needed to explain himself to the likes of Adrian’s father. “How do you know Smurf was behind this?”

“I’m in possession of at least half a brain,” Hank tapped a finger to his temple. “Booze hasn’t killed all my brain cells. I used what was left of ‘em to make an educated guess that no one has refuted.”

“I guess it’s not hard to figure out,” Anyone who knew Smurf and how she felt about Adrian could reach to that same conclusion. “Why do you care anyway?”

“He is my son,” Hank enunciated each word carefully, like Deran was some kind of idiot who wouldn’t understand if he talked too fast. “Someone hurt him.”

“And that someone wasn’t you,” Yeah, Deran could see how that might stick in his craw. “The only one allowed to hurt him is you, huh?”

“Hey, I haven’t laid a hand on him in years,” Hank boasted as if it were some kind of achievement. “And there is a big difference to what you’re mother’s had done to my child and how I treated him.”

“Yeah, there is,” Deran would give him that, but it didn’t change anything. “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. You’ve never given a shit about Adrian.”

“Oh, but you did, right?” Hank scoffed, situating himself in the chair on the other side of Adrian’s bed. “Yeah, you cared so much about my son that you beat him unconscious in a public restroom.”

“What?” Deran faltered, unprepared for his sins to be tossed in his face by Adrian’s father of all people. “How--”

“Did you think I didn’t know about that?” Hank shook his head at Deran’s apparent stupidity. “Who do you think picked him up from the hospital afterward?”

“Not you,” Deran refused to believe Adrian would ever be weak enough to willingly call his deadbeat dad for help. “He wouldn’t have gone to you.”

“Of course he would. I’m his father,” Hank smiled proudly. “I’m the one place you wouldn’t look for him.”

Deran couldn’t formulate a response for that, couldn’t counter the truth. He’d searched for Adrian after that assault and again after their blowout at _Real Surf_ , but hadn’t found him. The idea that Adrian would seek safe haven in his family home hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“And I’m who he’ll turn to when he gets out of prison,” Hank said confidently, like he knew Adrian better than Deran did. “Because we both know you won’t be there for him.”

Deran’s knee-jerk reaction to deny, deny, deny was lost on his lips. He was man enough to admit part of him wanted to tuck tail and run, head for the hills. It wasn’t because he didn’t love Adrian, but because he did, and seeing him brutalized on Smurf’s orders killed him.

“Your mother thinks if she hurts Adrian enough, he’ll turn his back on you. I think it’s the opposite,” Hank commented, adjusting the blanket covering Adrian. “I think you’ll walk away from him. You’re going to tell yourself it’s to protect him, but we both know it’ll be because you’re weak.”

“But you’re the fucking pillar of strength, aren’t you?” Deran lashed out. “Knocking your son around when he was too small to defend himself, that must’ve taken a lot of strength.”

“I never said I wasn’t weak too,” Hank retorted. “I’m a mean, violent drunk, and there’s nothing weaker than that.”

The admission stunned Deran silent. In the two decades he’d known the Dolan family, he had never once heard the patriarch speak candidly about his faults.

“I put my children through hell. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t get a do-over. I can’t rewrite history,” Hank acknowledged regretfully. “But, you know, I had a, uh, let’s call it a ‘come to Jesus’ moment, a few years ago that put things in perspective.”

“And what was this life-altering event that turned you around?”

“I got a call saying my son had been found beaten and unconscious in a restroom stall at the beach,” Hank sneered and all Deran could do was flinch. “Jess and I sat in a hospital room identical to this one. When Adrian woke up, the cops asked him what happened, he told them he slipped on the tile and fell, hit his head. He had this look on this face, though, one of complete resignation, one he only ever gets when you’ve fucked up.”

Deran bowed his head in shame as bile rose in his throat. He’d thought about it of course, of what it must have been like for Adrian after he and J had beaten him. Visions of Adrian, bloody and bruised on that dirty bathroom floor still haunted Deran’s dreams.

“I was ready to put you in the ground, but Jess stopped me. She called me a hypocrite, made a comment about how the two most prominent men in Adrian’s life, me and you, were both worthless pieces of shit. She said if I hadn’t normalized abuse for him, he would’ve dropped your ass along time go. He let you treat him like shit, ‘cause that’s what he was used to,” Hank recalled the conversation he’d had with his daughter that day. “I don’t know why, but hearing that from her, in that moment, it cut deeper than anything ever had.”

“This the part where you tell me you’ve changed your ways?” That was incredibly difficult for Deran to believe. “You give up the demon of alcoholism and decide all your past sins were forgiven?”

“I’ve never expected nor asked for anyone's forgiveness, but I did give up the drink. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve slipped up a few times, but as of now, I’ve gone eleven months and fourteen days without a drop of alcohol,” Admittedly, nearly a year off the sauce was quite the accomplishment for someone who used to need a bottle of Jim Beam just to get him going in the morning. “Jess didn’t think my quttin’ drinking was good enough, though.”

“Jess is a smart girl.”

“She said if I ever wanted a real relationship with her and her brother, if I ever wanted to meet my grandson outside of a photograph, that needed to get my temper in check and see a shrink,” The older man’s face scrunched up in distaste at the stipulations. “Time will tell if anger management and therapy are worth it or if I’m just throwing my money away on a bunch of hogwash.”

“You waited until your kids were fully grown to get a clue,” Deran snorted. “A little late in the game, isn’t it?”

“At least I’m doing something to right myself,” Hank scowled at him. “You seem to think finally telling your mom you suck dick erases every god awful thing you did to keep that secret. You act like the beating you put on my son never happened.”

“Don’t do that. You don’t get to do that. You don't get to judge me for things I did when I was scared.” Deran felt guilty enough for the shit he’d done to Adrian and shit he’d made Adrian do when he was locked in the closet. “You were a bastard to Adrian when he came out to you, said you wouldn’t have a fag for a son.”

“Yeah, well, I got over it...for the most part. I still think life would be easier for him if he were straight, but whatever, he is who he is.” He made a ‘what can you do’ gesture with his hands. “And most of that was less about him being gay and more about him being gay with _**you.**_ ”

“Right,” Oh yeah, Deran was the problem. “It’s all my fault.”

“Only because with you comes your mother, and anyone with a set of eyes could see that she and Adrian would never get along, they would always be at each others throats,” Hank grazed his fingertips over the edges of the gauze on his son’s neck. “Adrian’s confident, independent, speaks his mind, has never been afraid of her, and has always had your attention. Those are five traits Smurf hates in another person, and we all know what she does to people she dislikes or sees as a challenge.”

Smurf dismissed people she couldn’t use or control, banished them like she had Julia. On occasion, she opted for a more permanent solution, as she had with Baz, and possibly Cath, although Deran wasn’t certain on that last one. In the worst cases, she did unspeakable things that most wouldn’t wish upon their enemy, as she’d been doing with Adrian over the last year and a half.

“She’s not going to hurt him anymore,” Deran promised, more to himself than Hank. “I’ve got a plan to stop her. I won’t let her hurt him again.”

“She won’t hurt him anymore,” Hank agreed. “But it won’t be because of anything you do. He’s going to take a deal and get out of prison.”

“Adrian would never make a deal with the cops,” Not that Deran would blame him if he did after everything he’d been through. “He’s not a rat.”

“No, not with the cops. With his grandfather,” Hank must’ve been high, because that made less sense than the cop angle. “My father’s been trying to bring Adrian into the fold since he was a boy.”

“I know the story,” Deran had box seats to the Dolan family drama, same as Adrian had with his. “Your old man thought you were too stupid and temperamental to be a part of the business, so he cast you out, and when Adrian was born he tapped him to take over one day.”

“He didn’t actually choose Adrian to be part of the business at all until he was in junior high,” Hank corrected him. “But yeah, that’s the short and simple of it.”

“Adrian never wanted anything to do with your family business,” Deran had always respected how Adrian had stood by his principles when it came to his grandfather’s business, even when the money that came with it could have changed his life considerably. “Running guns isn’t who Adrian is. That shit kills people, kills kids. He wouldn’t be a part of something like that.”

“No, he wouldn’t, not even if it meant protecting himself,” Hank said sullenly, leveling his son’s unconscious form with a look of disappointment. “About a month into Adrian’s bid, after he’d gotten a crash course in what prison would be like for him, his grandfather told him that if he accepted his place in the business, he wouldn’t spend another night in jail.”

“And he refused,” It was the first Deran was hearing of the deal, but he tried not to give that away. “Like I said, he doesn’t want to be part of that life.”

“This might come as a surprise to you, but I don’t want him in that life either. The fact of the matter is, that life is the only thing that can protect him right now.” Hank remarked, a kind of desperation in his tone that Deran had never heard before. “Unlike most people in his life, you and I included, he has a sense of right and wrong. He has lines he doesn’t want to cross, but he’s barreled over them time and time again to protect his sister and you and your brothers. Now it’s time for him to protect himself.”

“He won’t do it,” Adrian lived in a shade of gray like the rest of them, he committed the odd crime here and there, but he didn’t aspire to be a career criminal. “He’d never be able to live with himself if he knew what he was putting on the streets was being used to hurt people.”

“You think he’s going to be able to live with himself _**now**_?” Hank asked, hand inching toward Adrian’s limp one on the bed. “After killing a friend to protect you and your brother? You don’t think that’s going to eat away at him?”

“W-What?” Deran stammered, taken aback by the question. “Y-You think he killed Colby? Pearce suspected someone on Smurf’s payroll.”

“Your mother would have toyed with Colby first, the same way she’s been toying with Adrian,” Hank sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Adrian probably told himself he was saving Colby from everything Smurf would put him through.”

“I...” Deran swallowed thickly, mouth suddenly dry. “I-I’m going to fix this.”

“No, you won’t,” Hank shook his head. “You’re more likely to make things worse.”

“He’s not going to join your father’s business. He-He’s not going to have to hurt anyone,” Deran would do what he had to do make sure of it. “I’m going to fix this.”

“He doesn’t need a Cody to save him.”

* * *

 

Smurf was in the kitchen, halfway through a glass of wine when Pope came home. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and joined her at the table, sliding into the chair across from her.

“I’m surprised you’re not at the hospital,” He mentioned casually, popping the top on his beer. “Playing the dutiful mother, comforting Deran.”

“Comforting Deran?” Smurf tilted her head curiously. “Why would he need comforting?”

“I know you are behind what’s happening to Adrian,” Pope wasn’t in the mood to be given the runaround or fed lies when he already knew the truth. “I know. Craig knows. What’s worse is Deran knows.”

“But Deran doesn’t know everything, does he? He doesn’t know why I have to protect us,” A dark, ugly smirk spread across her lips. “He thinks I’m having Adrian kept in line because I hate him. He doesn’t know Craig’s part in all of it. You didn’t tell him, and Craig’s too much of a pussy to cop to it.”

“Sooner or later, Craig will have to answer for his part in it,” Knowing his little brother, he would put that off as long as possible. “But don’t pretend like having Adrian beaten and raped, having his throat slashed open...don’t pretend like it’s to protect the family. You’re doing it for Deran, because in some twisted way, you think it’s going to bring Deran back to you.”

“Deran will come home when he’s ready,” Smurf said indifferently, brushing off the accusation. “He always does.”

“Not this time. He’s got his house, his bar, Adrian,” A few years ago, if anyone had told Pope that baby Deran would be the one free of Smurf and with all his shit together, he would've fallen down laughing. “He doesn’t need you to take care of him anymore. He’s standing on his own.”

“Sure,” Smurf nodded, sipping her wine. “For now.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t take much to knock him back down,” Pope didn’t think his brother was weak, just too reliant on other people. “Losing Adrian just might do the trick, that’s what you’re banking on, right?”

“I don't know what you’re talking about,” Smurf feigned ignorance. “Why would I want Deran to lose someone who supposedly makes him happy?”

“Because you think it’ll bring him back to you,” He wasn’t entirely sure she was wrong in that respect. “Plus, you hate Adrian and Adrian hates you. The thing is, there’s a simpler way to get what you want.”

“And what’s that?”

“You want Deran to come home? You want him to love you again? All you have to do is stop hurting Adrian,” He wasn’t sure if she’d always ignored that option because of her disdain for Adrian or because it just wasn’t obvious to her. “Start protecting him.”

“You want me to protect him?” Smurf raised an unimpressed brow. “What he knows could hurt this family, could put your brothers in jail for the rest of their lives.”

“All the more reason to play nice,” When someone had something on you, the last thing you wanted to do was give them a reason to turn on you. “He hasn’t kept his mouth shut this long because you’ve scared him silent, it’s because he’s loyal to Deran, to us. If he were anyone else, that would mean something to you.”

“You want me to play nice with _**him**_ ,” Smurf laughed, loud and throaty, like it was funniest joke she’d ever heard. “For what purpose?”

“You’ve always believed the hold Adrian had on Deran was a threat to you,” And it very well could be if Adrian chose to wield it like a weapon. “But you can use it to your advantage. If you can get him on your side, Deran will follow.”

Of course, getting Adrian on Smurf’s said was easier said than done. Luckily, Pope’s plan hinged more on Smurf believing she had Adrian on her side than Adrian actually being on her side.

“Deran and Adrian, they won’t buy it at first. You’ll have to convince them that after years of loyalty, you have finally accepted Adrian,” He’d imagine even pretending to like Adrian would be similar to being raked over hot coals for her. “Adrian will be especially reluctant. He’ll try to use your history to keep you at distance.”

“He’ll try?”

“Deep down, Adrian’s just an abandon child yearning for a mother’s affection,” That might’ve been Pope’s biggest lie yet. “You give him that, what he’s always needed, and against his better judgment, he’ll start warming up to you. Deran will see that and follow suit, ‘cause there’s no opinion he trusts more than Adrian’s.”

“Hmm,” Smurf considered his argument for a moment. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll accept him, at least pretend to, or you’ll lose Deran forever,” And that was the bottom line right there. “Deran’s going to come to you, try to make a deal to get you to lay off Adrian, and that’s going to be your opening.”

“How’s that?”

“If you promise to stop hurting Adrian without taking something from Deran, you’ll have earned a small piece of his trust back,” At the very least it would spark something in Deran that had long ago died. “Don’t make it an ultimatum, just protect Adrian. Protect him and you’ll get Deran back. And hey, who knows, maybe you’ll actually start to like Adrian, and instead of losing a son, you’ll gain one.”

“Don’t count on it.”

* * *

 

Craig had remained at the hospital, at Deran’s request, long after the others had left, including his brothers. Unlike everyone else, he didn’t feel the need to invade Adrian’s room to see if he was alright, he trusted what the doctor had told them. He kept to the waiting room, staving off boredom by playing some dumb game on his phone until he felt a presence beside him.

“Yeah, I thought you’d still be here,” Renn said conversationally, sitting in the open chair next to him. “A little surprised you’re not trying to sneak your way into the pharmacy.”

“I’m not going to rip off a local pharmacy,” He did have some sense of civic pride. “Didn’t you go home?”

“I did. I was going to put my daughter down for a nap, maybe take one myself,” She divulged, tapping for foot on the floor. “I got the baby down, but a process server showed up at the door before I could lie down myself.”

“A process server?”

“Armed with a court order telling me to bring my daughter to the hospital at specific date and time for a paternity test,” Renn’s voice was deceptively calm compared to the fire burning in her eyes. “Your name was all over the paperwork.”

“I didn’t have anything to do with it,” He had a pretty good idea of who was behind it, though. “It wasn’t me.”

“Yeah, I figured that one out for myself,” Renn clucked, pursing her lips. “Anything you see as a problem, you let your mommy fix for you.”

“Hey--”

“I told you I was pregnant, you asked if it was yours, I said no, and that was that,” Renn rehashed what had gone down between them, how they got to where they were now. “You never asked for a paternity test.”

“I didn’t think I needed one,” A part of him had known the truth right from the start. “You lied to me, right? She’s mine.”

“Biologically, sure,” Renn shrugged, as if blood meant nothing. “But despite what you’ve been whining to everyone about, I’ve never kept you from her. You’ve never asked to see her. I told you she wasn’t yours and you cut me off, just like you did when I said I wasn’t moving in with you-- when you had never even brought up the idea of moving in together before.”

“We’d been crashing together at Smurf’s since we got back from Mexico,” Fuck, they’d been living together in Mexico. “Why the hell wouldn’t we move in together?”

“People attacked us at our place in Mexico,” She reminded him. “And the last place you called your own in Oceanside, you burned to the ground.”

“That was an accident,” He left one lit joint on the sofa and no one was ever going to let him live it down. “You think I’m irresponsible, that’s why you don’t want me around...around you or our kid.”

“That’s part of it, yeah,” Renn acknowledged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “When I was pregnant, I had these nightmares that she’d somehow get into our coke or that we’d get high and forget she was in the bathtub. I was afraid we’d kill our daughter.”

“So if I got clean….” And that was a big if, no one in his family had been particularly successful in that area. “If I got clean, I could see her? I could be her dad?”

“It’s not just about the drugs, Craig,” Renn remarked. “I kicked the junk so my daughter could be born healthy. I stayed clean so I could be a good mother, but it’s not what makes me a good mom.”

“You don't think I’d be a good dad.”

“I think you could be, if you grew up and stopped acting like a rebellious teenager experiencing his first glimpses of freedom,” Renn sighed, long and heavy. “No, you know, that’s not it. It’s...it’s the way you respond to things. I know a good part of the fault lies with Smurf, every time one of you made a mistake, no matter how big, she would clean it up nice and neat, so you’d never have to deal with any of the consequences.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Smurf going above and beyond to protect them was one of the things that made her a good mother in Craig’s book. “She was looking out for us.”

“You never had to learn from your mistakes, because she erased them,” Renn retorted curtly. “You paralyzed Carter’s brother, he’ll never walk again. You chased Cooper off the side of a building over a couple hundred bucks--”

“How do you know about that?” He had told her about Carter’s brother, had confessed over a bottle of tequila years ago, but what happened with Cooper he’d kept to himself. “I never said anything to anyone about Cooper, and he--”

“He was on life support until his parents took him off ‘cause they couldn’t afford to keep him in long term care. And dead men tell no tales.” Renn glared at him. “His roommate was there when you chased him out of the apartment, Craig. He didn’t talk to the cops, but he has talked. Everybody knows.”

“Fuck,” He leaned forward, dropping his head into his hands. “You know about all this too? About Adrian?”

“Adrian wouldn’t tell Jess anything about how he ended up smuggling those drugs, so I looked into it for her,” Renn was out of the life, but she still had her contacts. “He was trying to help you pay off your debts.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“You don’t care, though, do you?” It was phrased as a question, and from the look on her face, it was rhetorical. “You don’t care that the guy your brother loves is in prison for trying to help you, or that you paralyzed a kid, or that Cooper is dead because of you.”

“I care,” He just wasn’t going to let his guilt chew him up and spit him out. “What’s any of that have to do with our kid?”

“I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that’s how the world works, that you can just hurt someone and walk away like it’s nothing,” Renn muttered, standing from the chair. “I’ve always known you were this way, Craig. I made allowances for it, excuses. I mean, it’s not like I’m the most pure of heart, but I… I can’t have it around my daughter.”

“I get that, I do,” He understood what she was saying, but it wasn’t going to mean anything to his mother. “Smurf knows about our daughter. She’s the one behind that court order. She’s going to try to take her.”

“I knew that could happen someday,” Renn admitted. “That’s part of the reason I’ve gotten so close to Jess, well, that and because she’s a cool chick.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I’ve spent the better part of my twenties around your family. I saw what Smurf was, she doesn’t hide it as well as she thinks she does,” Renn chuckled to herself. “In that time, one person has consistently stood up to her, never taken her shit.”

“Adrian.” That’s a good part of the reason they’d always tried to keep Smurf and Adrian separated. “Jess isn’t Adrian. She and Smurf have never spent any time together. And it’s not like Adrian’s ever beat Smurf at anything. He’s just survived her.”

“That’s more than most can say,” Renn pointed out. “Smurf could easily hurt Jess to get to Adrian and by proxy Deran, but she hasn’t. There’s like an invisible barrier she won’t cross for some reason. So being around Jess...it makes me feel safe.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Craig always assumed Smurf didn’t think the Dolan family was worth her trouble, not that she actually had an aversion to hurting them. “But our daughter is her blood, she will spill blood to get her.”

“I will spill blood to keep her with me,” Renn had never been what most would consider the threatening type, not until that moment, when her baby daughter was in danger. “I won’t let Smurf take her from me.”

“Neither will I,” He hadn’t been very good at standing up to Smurf in the past, but he could learn to when his kid was on the line. “I know I’ve done some stupid shit, gotten people hurt, put in jail, but I… I can be better. I can be better for our kid.”

“You know, for what it’s worth, you’re only partially responsible for Adrian being in prison,” Renn said, diverting his attention away from their daughter. “I mean, unless you’re the one who alerted TSA about him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My girl at the airport, who made sure all my shit made it through checkpoints, she told me a tip came over the line about Adrian,” Renn revealed, pulling her sweater tighter around herself. “That’s why they were waiting for him when he got through security. They had him in custody before they even knew for sure he was carrying.”

“Shit.”

* * *

 

Deran had always felt safest near the water. It didn’t matter what kind, pool, shower, tub, ocean, or lake, just the close proximity to a body of water brought him peace, made him feel secure. That’s why he’d chosen the deck chairs beside the pool at Smurf’s house as the venue for their unscheduled meeting.

He didn’t step foot inside the house, didn’t call to let her know he was there, that would be giving her too much too soon. He sat by the pool and waited her out. He didn’t have to wait long.

“What’s going on, baby?” Smurf questioned as she crossed the patio. “Pope told me Adrian was in the hospital. Is he okay?”

“He’ll live,” He was sure that came as a big disappointment to her. “I don’t want to play games, Smurf. I know you’re paying someone to hurt Adrian. I want you to stop.”

“I was only trying to protect us,” She smoothed a hand through his unwashed hair. “I never thought that man would take things so far.”

“How far is too far for you, Smurf?” He needed to know where the line was, if there was one at all. “Rape? Attempted murder? Which was too far for you?”

“I had to be sure he would keep quiet,” Smurf insisted, as if it justified the brutalization. “I was not going to let him hurt us, hurt you.”

“He wouldn’t,” Deran didn’t make that claim in blind faith, he knew it in his heart. “He wouldn’t hurt the family, because that would hurt me, and he would not hurt me.”

“I know that now, baby,” Smurf said soothingly, continuing to pet his head like he were a dog. “He’s loyal to you and your brothers. I see that now.”

“I want you to leave him alone,” Deran was willing to give her exactly what she wanted if it meant she’d forget Adrian existed. “You can have me, okay? I- I’ll come home. Just leave him alone, please.”

“You don’t have to come home,” She hooked her fingers beneath his chin, lifting it upward until their eyes met. “I know you’re trying to build something with that house you bought. I don't want to get in the way of that.”

“Then what do you _**want**_?” He hadn’t prepared to be rejected. He had nothing to give her but himself. “What do I have to do? I’ll do anything. Just leave him alone.”

“I already called off the dogs, Deran,” Smurf spoke softly, caressing his cheek with her thumbs. “I bought him protection. He’ll be safe when they transfer him back to the prison.”

“Why?” Deran was hesitant to believe her, wary of her motives. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you love him, baby,” She pressed a delicate kiss to the corner of his mouth. “And I love you.”

“You’ll leave him alone from now on?”

“I promise, baby.”

* * *

 

Adrian was awake when Pope slipped into his room, but made no indication that he knew Pope was even there, just stared blankly at the wall. Pope had to stand directly in his line of sight to be noticed, and unfortunately, the position gave him a clear view of the kid’s wounds. Seeing Adrian beaten to hell wasn’t new for him, as a boy, Adrian used to come around the house with new bruises all the time, but no one asked about them, and Adrian never made an effort to explain them away, not that he needed to then or now.

“This isn’t going to happen to you again,” He didn’t offer the kid platitudes, sympathy or pity, just the facts. “Smurf’s going to stop what she’s doing. She’s going to get close to you, make you think she’s finally accepted you as one of us. She’s doing it to get Deran back on her side. Do not trust her.”

Pope put the idea in Smurf’s head because he knew Adrian was too smart to fall for it. Smurf would start sucking up and he’d know she was full of shit. The trick was convincing him to just let it be instead of calling bullshit on her.

“You have to let her do it, make her believe it’s working, but you cannot trust her,” That part was important, it wouldn’t work any other way. “Do you understand?”

Adrian nodded, slow and lethargic, while a single tear slid down his cheek.

“What is it?” He moved closer to the gurney, ready to press the call button for the nurse. “You in pain?”

“I...” Adrian struggled to speak through his injured throat. “I-I...I killed Colby.”

“I know,” Pope had thought as much after Pearce’s visit and his chat with Craig. “You did it to protect Deran and Craig, right?”

Adrian nodded again, tears falling freely down his face, hands balled into fists at his side.

“Then you got nothing to feel bad about.”


	5. pushing through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetad.  
> Warnings: Mentions of past indiscretions.  
> Chapter title: [Even if it Hurts by Sam Tinnesz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqaNhYIxF0I)  
> *I chose Willa as the name for Renn and Craig's daughter as a play on Craig's middle name. Adrian's grandfather and nephew's names just came from characters STC has played.

The gentle graze of nails caressing his scalp roused Adrian from his already restless slumber. He peeled his eyes open slowly to see a pair of brilliant green ones staring back at him.

“Hey handsome,” Renn smiled softly, continuing the soothing ministrations on his head. “I was wondering when you planned on rejoining the land of the living.”

“How-- _Oh_ ,” Adrian gasped, gripping his neck as pain shot through his throat. “Ugh. H-How long was I out?”

“Couple hours. Pope said you were up for a few minutes last night,” She replied, batting his hand away from the bandage across his throat. “Don’t mess with that. You don’t want to accidentally pop a stitch or something.”

“’Kay,” He dropped his hand away from his neck, twisting it in the thin blanket covering him. “T-Thanks for being here.”

“Didn’t want you to wake up alone,” She murmured sympathetically. “Jess had a shift at the diner, she couldn’t miss it, but she wanted to be here.”

“It’s okay,” It was probably better his sister wasn’t there anyway. “I don't want her to see me like this.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to get over that, ‘cause she’ll be here as soon as she gets off work,” Renn warned him. “You’re lucky you got me first. I’m your reprieve from the crazed worry you’ll get with everyone else.”

“You’re the calm before the storm, huh?” Adrian managed a small grin as he levered himself up into a sitting position, mindful of the IV’s and single handcuff around his wrist. “How’d you end up in the hot seat?”

“Your dad and Deran are both huge pussies.”

“Yeah,” That was a well known fact. Adrian had referred to them both as such on more than one occasion. “And?”

“And the rest of us voted and I lost,” Renn admitted with a small, forced laugh. “No one has any good news for you, so...”

“Fuck.” Adrian dug his nails into his palm. “How bad is it?”

“Well, Pope and Deran convinced Smurf to play nice while you’re in prison, and your dad made some kind of deal with your grandpa to get you out of jail that involves your family business,” Renn laid out the situation for him. “So, you gotta choose your devil, sweets.”

“That bad, huh,” Adrian knew his dad and Deran wouldn’t react particularly well to his new injuries, but he never thought they’d lose their goddamn minds, but obviously they had. “I can either snuggle up to Smurf or get cozy with my grandfather, those are my devils.”

“On the bright side, one devil can get you out of prison,” Renn said optimistically. “That devil ain’t Smurf.”

“Yeah, well, joining my grandfather’s business, it’s still a prison,” He would still be trapped with no clear way to escape. “Just one without bars.”

“But you’d be safer, right?” Renn asked, hints of hope lacing her tone. “No more shit like this happening.”

“Yeah, I guess,” However, the family business came with its own set of dangers. “In that world, they’d just execute you, maybe your whole family. Torture and warnings are a waste of time unless they need information from you that they can’t get anywhere else.”

“Damn,” Renn relaxed in her seat, not put off by the potential violence. “What the hell kind of business is your family in?”

“Deran always likened it to the mob,” Truth be told, that wasn’t far off the mark. “They’re into some really bad shit, have been for generations. They’ve got deep pockets and a lot of power.”

“That’s definitely something you could use right now.”

“It’s not something I’ve ever wanted to be a part of,” He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life just getting by, but he didn’t want to get ahead by contributing to violence either. “And I’m not really built for that kind of life, you know.”

“You’ve never had a problem dating someone in that kind of life, with Deran and all,” Renn mentioned tilting her head to the side. “Craig once told me that you and Deran even pulled jobs together in high school.”

“That’s not the same thing. The Codys are thieves,” Adrian’s grandfather and those involved in the organization, they were a higher class of criminal. “If Smurf wasn’t so greedy, she could move them up on the food chain, but that would mean relinquishing some of her power and control, delegating, working with other people. She isolates them to the point where if they ever really beefed with another crew, she’d have to pay a different one to help get them out of it.”

“At this point, I’m pretty sure she’d have to pay her own sons to help her,” Renn quipped disparagingly. “Not that it makes her any less threatening.”

“That’s true,” Adrian suspected that had something to do with her reputation. “Why do you say that, though? She threatening you?”

“Craig told her about Willa,” Renn revealed, clenching her jaw. “She sent me a court order, in his name, for a paternity test. After that’s done, I’m sure I can expect custody papers.”

“And Craig doesn’t have the balls to try to stop her,” Craig was a sweet guy and all, but incredibly weak willed compared to his brothers. “You have a plan?”

“I have family back east. I was thinking of giving them a call,” Renn shrugged, not fully committed to the idea. “It’s not something I want to do, but I figure Smurf’s hand can’t extend that far, right?”

“Right,” He hoped it didn’t, anyway. “But you shouldn’t have to uproot your entire life because of her. It’s bullshit.”

“Yeah, it is, but I’ll do it if it means protecting my daughter,” Renn said as she checked the time on her watch and stood from the chair. “Hey, sweetheart, I gotta go. I need to pick up Willa from my mom’s place.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll call and check in a little later.” She promised, wrapping her arms around him for a quick hug. “Want me to tell one of the scaredy-cats to grow a set of balls and get their asses in here to face the music?”

“Yeah, probably should,” He needed to talk to both his dad and Deran before they decided to make anymore life-changing decisions for him. “And, hey, don’t make any plans to leave town just yet, okay? Maybe we can figure something else out, so you don’t have to go.”

“You’d miss me that much, huh?”

“You’re the only ally I have when it comes to Deran and all this Cody stuff,” He’d burned a lot of bridges over the years by choosing to remain at Deran’s side, loyal to the Codys. “You understand shit other people don’t. And I understand too, with you and Craig.”

“Yeah, we need to stick to together,” Renn agreed, pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss. “Love you too, handsome.”

* * *

 

It was nearly noon when Deran finally slinked into Adrian’s hospital room with a sack of takeout food in his hands. Adrian was reclined back on the bed, the top half elevated so he could sit up and watch some old black and white movie on the TV mounted to the wall in the corner.

“There’s lipstick on your mouth,” Deran mentioned, noting the smudge of red marring his lover’s lips. “It’s not really your color.”

“It’s Renn’s. Totally platonic. Don’t go having her thrown off a boat or anything,” Adrian huffed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “So, as it turns out, you’re a bigger pussy than my dad. He was in here explaining himself right after Renn left.”

“Good movie?” Deran gestured toward the TV, pointedly ignoring the dig.

“Not really,” Adrian flicked the television off to give Deran his full attention. “I hear you made a deal with Smurf.”

“I brought you some soup from that place you like,” Deran took the styrofoam cup from the sack and set it on the roll-away table next to the gurney. “The nurse told me you didn’t eat breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry,” Adrian grimaced at the prospect of food. “But thanks.”

“You gotta eat, keep your strength up and all that,” Deran insisted, removing the lid from the cup and holding out a plastic spork to him. “It’s soup, easy on your stomach and soft on your throat.”

“You’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer here, are you?” Adrian sighed, accepting the utensil and pulling the roll table closer to him. “Tell me about the deal.”

“Wasn’t much of a deal,” He had gone to his mother looking to make a trade she couldn’t resist, but it hadn’t gone the way he thought it would. “I told her if she left you alone, she could have me.”

“You should never make that deal, Deran,” Adrian scolded him. “Not for me, not for anyone.”

“She didn’t want me,” And that fucked him up a hell of a lot more than he would ever admit. “She said she knew you were loyal now. She called off the dogs and bought you protection.”

“My loyalty has nothing to do with it. Pope got to her first, told her if she stopped messing with me, she could get you back or something,” Adrian reported, stirring the soup absently. “He told me last night, said not to trust her.”

“Oh,” Okay, that made a hell of a lot more sense. “It’d be helpful if you guys kept me informed.”

“You really want to play that game with me, Deran?” Adrian challenged him. “’Cause it goes both ways. You didn’t exactly keep me informed about Ox. You could’ve told me he was dead.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” He couldn’t even bring himself to tell Ox’s mother that her son had been killed. “He got hurt pulling a job. It was bad, but… I never thought he’d die, and then he did, and I...”

“Ox made the choice to pull that job, it was the wrong choice, but it was his. It’s not your fault, Deran,” Adrian attempted to alleviate some of his guilt. “You could’ve told me, though. He was my friend too.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” He was ashamed of the part he’d played in Ox’s death. “How did you even find out about it?”

“Colby,” Adrian paled as their former friend’s name crossed his lips. “He, uh, he was going to rat on you.”

“Yeah, Pearce said as much,” Deran should have seen that betrayal coming. “He’s, um, he’s dead. Someone stabbed him in his cell. I think it was Smurf’s guy. I’m not sure how she knew--”

“It wasn’t Trujillo,” Adrian shuddered. “He was...with me.”

“I don’t want to talk about Colby, okay? Or Ox,” They were both dead, their traumas were over now, the rest of them still had to suffer through theirs. “We, um, we need to talk about what you’re going to do.”

“Right,” Adrian inhaled deeply, composing himself. “My I’m-fucked-either-way options.”

“A part of me would love to see you and Smurf getting along for once, but it wouldn’t be real, and it’d keep you where you are,” Playing the long con with Smurf was useless if there was ultimately little to no benefit to be had. “Your grandpa can get you out of prison-- or, his people can. If you agree to run the business, they will keep you out of jail.”

“I’m considering saying yes to my grandfather,” Adrian admitted, face drawn and tired, stress sitting heavily on his shoulders. “I can’t… I can’t go back to prison, Deran. I can’t. I was wrong. I won’t survive. I just… I want to go home.”

“So we say yes to Grandpa Dolan,” That was easy enough to do when the old man wanted – no, _**needed**_ Adrian in the fold. “That doesn’t mean he holds all the cards. He wants to leave the business to a blood relative, right? He’s never going to let a woman take over, so you’re sister’s out. That leaves you and your dad, and he’s already shown your dad the door. So you are it.”

“It’s me or an outsider,” Adrian confirmed, gnawing his bottom lip between his teeth. “That gives me room to negotiate the terms of joining the business.”

“And your gramps is already about 150yrs old,” Deran exaggerated. “He’s not long for this world, if you know what I’m saying. As soon as he kicks it, you can do whatever you want with the business.”

“I couldn’t dismantle it without someone trying to usurp me and take over,” Adrian considered the circumstances, glancing down at the metal bracelet around his wrist, keeping him chained to the hospital bed. “Maybe I could try to clean it up, though. It might take some time, but...”

“It’s worth a shot,” It was worth the risks, in Deran’s opinion. “If it means you don’t spend another night in jail, then it is more than worth the risk.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

* * *

 

If there was one thing Craig hated, it was being cooped up in a hot car, which was why after forty-five minutes of sitting in Pope’s truck, outside some heavily guarded mansion, he was getting a little antsy.

“Jesus Christ,” He tugged uselessly at his sweat soaked shirt. “I’m slow-cooking in here.”

“You’re fine,” Pope brushed off the complaint. “It’s not that hot.”

“Bullshit,” It was fucking stifling. “How long are we gonna sit out here?”

“Until Deran comes out,” Pope replied, sipping the lukewarm water from the bottle in the center console. “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

“All he’s doing is asking Grandpa Dolan to take a meeting with Adrian,” That should’ve taken five minutes, tops. “Could’ve done that with a phone call.”

“It’s a show of respect,” Pope acknowledged, eyes never straying from the entrance of the house. “We’re here in case he starts mouthing off and they start shooting.”

“Oh, come on, Adrian’s grandfather is just some old, rich asshole.” He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who would strike fear into Craig’s heart. “What’s he gonna do, sue Deran for being mean to him?”

“Kelly Dolan and his organization are the largest weapons traffickers in the state, maybe further, I don’t know. And they’ve gotten into the drug business recently,” Pope revealed, fingers flexing around the steering wheel. “How do you think he made his fortune?”

“Embezzlement? Tax evasion?” Normal rich people stuff. “I don’t know.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“It’s kind of hard to intimidated by a guy named Kelly, though, even if he is some kind of crime boss,” Craig snorted, wondering how the guy had made it that far into the criminal world with a chick name. “So, uh, you knew Adrian’s family were a bunch of drug traffickers and gun runners?”

“How did you not know that?” Pope asked incredulously. “The Dolans have been running game in this town longer than Smurf.”

“Well, shit, it’s not like I keep track of every criminal organization in Oceanside,” That was Smurf’s job, not his. “What’s actually happening here, anyway? Is Adrian really going to join his family business? It’s not really his style, you know. He’s a beach bum, not a criminal mastermind.”

“It’s a better option for him than the alternative,” Pope sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “This way, Deran doesn’t have to go back to Smurf to keep Adrian safe.”

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll be so pissed with him that I won’t even blip on her radar,” That was probably just Craig’s wishful thinking. “I have to tell her to layoff Renn, not send anymore court orders.”

“You’re going to have to give her something in return. Smurf doesn’t do anything for free,” Pope spoke from experience. “Especially when her blood is involved.”

“I don’t have anything to give her,” Smurf had the upper-hand, like always. “What do I do?”

“Tell Renn to take your daughter and run,” Pope advised him. “Smurf wouldn’t waste energy or money trying to follow her out of state. You can watch your kid grow up through photographs and home movies.”

“That’s more than I’m going to get now,” Craig grumbled under his breath, thinking about what Renn had said the previous night. “I told Renn I could get clean for her and the kid, but she doesn’t think it’s enough.”

“It’s not,” Pope took Renn’s side on the matter. “None of us should ever be parents, Craig. Any kid would be lucky to be without us.”

“Whatever,” Craig disagreed, but that wasn’t an argument he was ever going to win with Pope.

“You know, if this deal goes through,” Pope motioned toward the house. “Adrian will be getting out of jail a hell of a lot sooner than expected.”

“Yeah, I know,” All things considering, that was damn good news. “Maybe then Deran will stop moping around like a bitch.”

“You’re going to tell Deran you were the one who asked Adrian to smuggle those drugs,” It wasn’t a question, it was an order plain and simple. “You’re going to do that before Adrian gets out.”

“Why?” Seriously, what good would that do? “It won’t change anything. It’s only going to piss Deran off.”

“You tell him or I will.”

* * *

 

For someone who was still a prisoner, Adrian had been allowed a surprising amount of visitors. Renn, his dad, Deran, his sister and baby nephew had all come and gone throughout the day, all emitting a new or different kind of stress or worry that only added to the guilt he was already carrying. The one person who didn’t seem the least bit concerned for him was his paternal grandfather, Kelly.

“Let me see if I understand correctly,” Kelly started, sauntering into the room without a knock or ‘hello’ to announce himself. “I see you struggling in your father’s care as a young man, I offer to bring you into my home and give you the life a child deserves, but you turn me down and take to selling yourself on the street corner.”

“Not really how I remember it,” Things hadn’t been quite that black and white. “You had stipulations I couldn’t agree to.”

“Nevertheless, I opened my home to you, and despite being turned down, that door remained open were you to ever change your mind,” Kelly smiled sweetly, trying to appear like a run of the mill, nice old grandfather rather than the manipulative crook that he was. “Flash-forward ten years or so, you get in a tight spot, instead of coming to me, your loving grandfather, you decide to smuggle cocaine in a surfboard.”

“No,” Adrian hadn’t gone looking for a quick way to make some cash because he needed it, the opportunity just happened to present itself. “I wasn’t in a tight spot. I was trying to help a friend.”

“Ah, yes, the Cody boy,” Kelly hummed. “He wracked up a sizable debt with some very bad people, the kind that would have cut off his head had someone not stepped in to cover the balance.”

“Cover the balance...” Of course Adrian had known when customs had taken the surfboard, that whatever of Craig’s debt it was supposed to cover would still be an issue, but he assumed Craig had sucked it up and went to Smurf or one of his brothers for the money. “You covered the balance?”

“After you were incarcerated, and I found out why, I bought Craig Cody’s debt in preparation for this moment,” Kelly declared proudly. “Now he owes us, or rather, you.”

“Me?”

“You’re not joining the organization out of your own free will. It’s self-preservation. So, as a show of good faith on my part, I am gifting your friend's debt, his life, to you. Consider it your sign-on bonus, if you like,” Kelly handed him a slip of paper with the sum total of Craig’s debt scribbled on it. “He owes you now. You can collect when and how you see fit.”

“I haven’t agreed to join the organization yet,” He still had some reservations. “I want to be clear on some things. You tell me what you expect, I’ll tell you what I need to get there. We’ll discuss what I will and will not do, and see if we can come to a compromise.”

“You want to negotiate terms. Smart man,” Kelly complimented him. “You can start.”

“If I do this, I’m going to need people on my side that I can trust. Your people will think I’m an interloper, that I haven’t earned my place at your table,” They would be correct in that respect, and Adrian couldn’t afford to be the only one watching his back in that situation. “I’ll want Deran, if he’s willing.”

“Of course you will,” Kelly rolled his eyes. “He’s a low level con man and a second rate thief, as is the rest of his family. That’s not what we do. If you bring him along, he is your responsibility.”

“Fine,” He could keep Deran in check...hopefully. ”And I’ll need Hank.”

“Your father?” Hank gaped, the request coming as a shock. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No,” His dad was an odd choice, sure, but he was the only person who could help Adrian navigate the family business. “He’s the devil I know.”

“When your father I was born, I had such high hopes for him where the business was concerned,” Kelly reminisced on the past. “As he grew, my hopes were dashed. He developed a short temper, became violent, and suffered wild mood swings. One minute he’d be your best friend, the next he couldn’t stand the sight of you.”

“They have medication for that now,” Adrian mumbled, picking at the skin around his fingers nails. “I know, because he’s been on it for the last few months.”

“Yes, well, that kind of behavior isn’t suitable for our line of work,” Kelly sighed, disappointed in his son. “You can’t put a hothead in charge of a doughnut shop, let alone an entire organization.”

“So the answer was to toss him out of the business and out of house,” Adrian’s relationship with Hank was usually hostile, but they had never turned their backs on each other the way Kelly had turned on Hank. “You left him on the curb with nothing. He went from spoiled rich kid to street rat overnight.”

“He needed some tough love,” Kelly shrugged off the abandonment. “It worked out in the end. In turn, he raised you on tough love, and that made you the man you are today.”

“Tough love isn’t what I’d call it,” Violent, alcoholic rage was more accurate. “But you are right, his and Adrianna’s piss-poor parenting helped turn me into this.”

“Yet you still want your father at your side.”

“Yes,” Well, _want_ was a strong word, but it would do for the time being. “I’ve spent a lifetime learning how to handle him. Like Deran, I can keep him in line, make sure he doesn’t fuck up.”

“And, like Deran, Hank will be your responsibility,” Hank clucked, a peculiar expression on his face that suggested he believed Adrian would fail at that task. “Anything else?”

“Jess and that baby will never be part of this business,” And that was not so much of a request as it was a demand. “It doesn’t touch them now or ever. That is non-negotiable.”

“Well, that is a problem,” Kelly tutted, perching on the edge of the bed. “I’m old fashioned. I believe the business needs to stay in the family. There needs to a blood heir to take over one day, when you step down. Your dear nephew, Joseph, would be a fabulous choice.”

“No deal,” Adrian would risk being killed in prison before he would ever make a decision that could destroy his nephew’s life one day. “Thanks anyway.”

“There is another option,” Kelly chuckled, seemingly knowing how well that option would be received. “You can father an heir through a surrogate.”

“Not a fucking chance,” If he wouldn’t put his nephew on the line, he sure as shit wouldn’t do it to his own child. “I don’t even want kids.”

“I understand. You’ve already raised your sister, you did wonderfully with her,” His grandfather praised his parenting skills. “You wouldn’t have to raise your child, that’s what nannies are for.”

“Oh, wow, no.” Adrian didn’t want kids, but if he had them, he wouldn’t shirk off the responsibility of raising them to a stranger. “Not going to happen. There will be no kid.”

“There should be two. That’s where I went wrong, with Hank being an only child. I should’ve had a backup.” Kelly chastised himself. “We’ll start you off with one, see how that goes.”

“We’ll start me off with none,” He had his fill of parenting when Jess was a kid, that was more than enough for him. “I’m not going to bring an innocent child into all this.”

“Let me take a stab at one of the reasons you’re willing to even entertain the idea of joining the organization,” Kelly leaned in like they were sharing a secret. “You think you can change it.”

“The thought had crossed my mind,” There was no use denying it. “Do I have a shot?”

“Once I’m dead and gone, you’ll have control of the business. You could do whatever you want with it,” Kelly nodded. “You’ll have push back from our associates, but if you can earn their loyalty and respect, you can do what you like.”

“Earning loyalty and respect from criminals is one of my strong suits.” He’d had enough practice with the Cody brothers. “Don‘t know what the hell that has to do with having a kid, though.”

“You don’t want to bring a child into a business you believe is evil. You succeed in changing the business, it won’t be evil anymore,” Kelly rationalized. “Having a child would just mean continuing the family line and making your grandfather very happy.”

“Our bloodline continues whether I have a child or not,” Adrian’s nephew still counted, even if he never stepped foot near the family business. “And your happiness is not a priority to me.”

“Adrian,” Kelly sighed heavily, his patience wearing thin. “A child--”

“I don’t like kids,” His little nephew was exception. “I didn’t even like kids when I was a kid.”

“Children provide excellent learning opportunities. If you can handle a child, you can handle anything,” Kelly was laying it on real thick. “Take your father and I for example. He was not up for the task of rearing a child, but I was.”

“Debatable.”

“How’s this then: you have a child for me-- for the family, and I will make sure your sister and her son never want for anything for the rest of their lives,” Kelly proposed, promising something Adrian would never be able to provide on his own. “Jess will receive a generous monthly stipend, as well as a hefty inheritance after my passing. She won’t have to work at that awful truck stop diner anymore. She could go back to school. She could even move to a nicer neighborhood, so when the time comes, Joseph can attend schools without metal detectors.”

“Given the level of violence in schools today, that might not be the best idea,” However, the prospect of Jess and Joseph being set for life was an alluring one. “It’s a good play, using Jess and the boy.”

“They are your weakness,” Kelly smirked deviously. “Our line needs to continue, Adrian, business or no business. Jess’s son doesn’t guarantee that it will. We need a back-up.”

“A back up,” Adrian scoffed. “You realize how fucked up that sounds, right?”

“I do,” Kelly admitted shamelessly. “But, hey, babies are cute. Everyone loves babies. It’s when you kids learn to talk that you get ugly and we regret ever having you.”

“You’re a real charmer.”

“If you’d like to discuss it with your beau first, you can,” Kelly offered him time to think it over, explore his options, weigh the pros and cons. “But are you really going to let your sister and nephew continue to struggle just to get by, like you have?”

“No,” If he could do something to stop that, he had to. “How do I even know any of this is real, that you can do any of this? Like getting me out of jail, how do you plan to do that?”

“That’s easy,” Kelly claimed, a wide grin on his face. “What do you know about the shared history between Janine Cody and Detective Pearce?”

“Not as much as you do, I’m guessing.”

“Then let me tell you a tale of the con artist and the cop.”

* * *

 

Without Lena to tend to, Pope had a lot of time to himself, and more often than not, he spent that time looking after his little brothers. Hindsight, playing the role of big brother wasn’t something he had done enough of when they were kids, mostly because Smurf wouldn’t allow it. It was better that way, he supposed. When he was younger, he didn’t have the patience to properly help his brothers work through their issues, but now he had the skills and experience to recognize just how fucked they were.

Craig’s issues were familiar in a way that made Pope nauseous. Out of all of them, Craig was the most like Julia, a factor that was largely ignored because his drugs of choice were coke and pills were Julia’s were heroin and meth. They liked to delude themselves into believing Craig’s drug use was purely recreational, when in reality Pope could clearly picture a day sometime soon, when they found Craig dead on the floor from an overdose.

Then there was baby Deran who had morphed from a wild, carefree teenager to a tense, angry young man, and then a semi-responsible adult struggling to keep his shit together. In some ways, Deran was like the house he’d bought, structurally sound, but still in need of work. Pope imagined Deran’s mind was just as cluttered as the moving boxes scattered throughout his house.

“How’s it coming?” Pope asked, finding Deran unloading appliances in the kitchen. “Need some help?”

“Nope,” Deran shook his head, peeling the plastic wrap off his new coffee maker. “I’m just getting the essentials out, leaving the rest for when Adrian gets home.”

“All the shit you two have accumulated over the years, it’s going to take you weeks to get everything unpacked,” Pope muttered, nudging a box out of the way so he could slide onto the stool beside the counter. “Why aren’t you at the hospital with him?”

“He wanted to talk to his grandpa alone,” Deran shrugged, trying not to be bothered by being left in the dark. “I’m gonna head back over there soon.”

“You know, I asked around about his grandfather,” The Dolan family had a reputation, not unlike their own, but Pope had never felt the need to dig deeper into it until now. “He’s into some really shady shit.”

“So are we,” Deran pointed out. “What’s it matter?”

“They were strictly into guns until about a year and a half ago,” The shift in their business practice was suspicious to say the least. “They got into the drug game almost as soon as Adrian was arrested.”

“Yeah, Grandpa Dolan told me when I was talking to him,” Deran said, kicking empty boxes out of the way as he ambled through the kitchen. “Jess was afraid there would be blow back from Adrian getting popped before he could make the drop. She went to their grandpa to see if there was anything he could do.”

“So he got into the drug business to protect Adrian?”

“Adrian couldn’t take over the business if he got shanked in the prison showers by some cartel asshole,” Deran reasoned. “Protecting Adrian only served his own agenda.”

“Why not protect him from Smurf too?” That seemed like a logical step in that scenario. “He could’ve easily tripled whatever she was paying to get that crew to stop tuning Adrian up.”

“Having him tuned up furthered Grandpa Dolan’s cause all the more,” Deran scowled, taking two beers from the fridge and passing one off to Pope. “It was a means to this very end, right the hell here, with us asking him for help.”

“And Adrian joining the family business to get that help,” It was a risky plan, Adrian could’ve very well ended up dead from a tune-up gone too far. “Where do you fit into all that?”

“What do you mean?” Deran asked, popping the top off his beer. “I’m with Adrian. I’m in it.”

“You won’t work with Smurf anymore,” Which, to be fair, was a stance all of them but J were taking. “But you’re, what, going to work under Adrian’s mafioso grandfather or something?”

“I’ll definitely work under Adrian,” Deran licked his lips, obviously having a different kind of work in mind. “In more than one way.”

“This isn’t a goddamn game, Deran,” Pope glowered at his baby brother for making light of a serious situation. “These people aren’t like us.”

“I know that. Okay? I get it.” Deran sagged over the counter top, his mood souring. “But I need this to work out. I need Adrian to come home. D-Do you understand that?”

Of course Pope understood. Adrian was the one person in the world Deran trusted completely, who knew Deran better than anyone else ever had or could. Pope had someone like that once, two someones actually, Julia and Baz. They were the only people who could keep his head above water and he had lost them both, he’d been floundering ever since. He couldn’t blame his brother for doing whatever he could to avoid a similar fate.

“All right,” Pope sipped his beer and decided to change the subject. “Has Craig talked to you yet?”

“Talked to me about what?” Deran asked, setting his beer bottle down. “I was just with you guys a few hours ago. What could happen in a few hours?”

“It’s not a new thing,” He paused, determining how to address that particular problem without spooking his brother. “There are things you don’t know about how Adrian ended up in prison.”

“What are you talking about?” Deran furrowed his brows, putting his palms flat on the counter, bracing himself for the oncoming blow. “What the hell does Craig have to do with that?”

Pope wanted to tell Deran everything, but he only knew what Craig had told him and fuck knows how much of that was the truth and how much was bullshit. It didn’t matter anyway. The mere mention of a correlation between Craig and Adrian’s arrest seemed to be more than enough for Deran to play connect-the-dots and be left devastated.

“Pope, what’s going on?”

“You need to talk to Craig or Adrian,” The only way to get to the truth was to goto the source. “Talk to both of them.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?” Deran’s voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears. “What did Craig do this time?”

“I don’t know, Deran. I don’t know everything.” If he did, he would be much more open to sharing. “I wish I had more for you, but all I can tell you is to talk to them.”

* * *

 

Adrian’s grandfather had been kind enough to leave him a deck of playing cards to stave off boredom before he’d left. Adrian was deep into his fourth game of solitaire when the devil incarnate chose to grace him with her presence.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Smurf drawled with a pout on her lips. “You look just awful.”

“Sounds about right,” He hadn’t had a chance to glance in the mirror yet, but awful was in line with how he felt. “What are you doing here, Smurf?”

“I wanted to check on you and have a little chat,” She got comfortable, resting her forearms on the foot-board of the gurney. “I think it’s time we buried the hatchet, baby.”

“Oh yeah?” Adrian snorted, gathering up the cards off the table. “Where? In my back?”

“Always with the sharp tongue,” Smurf admonished him. “Haven’t you ever heard you catch more flies with honey?”

“I’m not looking to catch flies,” That expression never really appealed to him. “Look, the doctors have me on a lot of meds right now. I’m flying pretty high. And I don’t really feel like doing this back and forth with you. So, let’s get a few things out of the way, I’m not going back to prison, so this whole ‘pretend to like me to get back on Deran’s good graces’ thing, it’s completely unnecessary.”

“Well, if my boys are to be believed, you wouldn’t make a deal with the cops,” A satisfied smirk spread across Smurf’s face. “You’re finally crossing over to the dark side and joining the family business, all for a get out of jail free card.”

“Yes, I am. And as it turns out, the family business has it’s perks,” Only time would tell if those perks were worth the risks he was taking to get them. “Early release, no more jail. I get to go home to Deran. Oh, and with what Craig owes my family--”

“Craig doesn’t owe you,” Smurf narrowed her eyes. “You’re the one that botched the job.”

“He did owe more than half a million to a drug cartel,” If someone hadn’t stepped in, Craig would’ve been dead or missing a couple limbs courtesy of that cartel. “His debt didn’t disappear when I botched the job. It was bought out by my family.”

“I’ll pay the debt off.”

“I don’t want your money, Smurf,” He wouldn’t accept money from her, even money owed. “I want you to leave Renn and her daughter alone, at least until the kid’s eighteen and able to choose for herself. You do that, we’ll call it square.”

“You really are high,” Smurf chuckled darkly. “No deal, baby. That child could very well be my granddaughter. If she is, she belongs with her family.”

“She belongs with her mother,” Renn was the only parents that baby had who cared enough to get her shit together for her. “Don’t worry, the way Craig gets around, you’ll have another grandkid in no time.”

“Doesn’t work that way, baby,” Smurf tsked him. “This isn’t like Lena. There won’t be any trade, not if this baby is my blood.”

“Craig is your blood,” He had to think her child meant more to her than a kid that could possibly be her grandchild. “Your son or your granddaughter, it’s your choice.”

“Sweetie, that ultimatum might’ve worked if anyone else had given it to me,” Smurf moved to stand at the side of the bed. “You wouldn’t hurt Craig.“

“No, I wouldn’t,” Craig was his friend, Deran’s brother, Adrian would never intentionally cause him harm. “But he owes my family, my grandfather, his organization. They are not going to give two fucks who he is, all they’ll see is the money he hasn’t paid back.”

“I said I’d pay.”

“Yeah, but you don’t get to choose how you pay,” That honor belonged to him. “You leave Renn and her baby alone or Craig is finally going to have to answer for something he’s done, and he’ll do it on his own, my family won’t work with you.”

“That a new rule you’re implementing?”

“You would think, but no,” That had been a rule longer than Adrian had been alive. “You screw over anyone and everyone who has worked with you. These days, the only people willing to risk their ass for you are the bangers you pay to do it. You’ve got no friends in this life, Smurf.”

“I don’t need friends, baby,” Smurf skimmed her hand over his IV stand. “I’ve got my boys.”

“You want to lose another one of those boys?” Adrian wasn’t about to let that happen, he’d find a way to protect Craig for Deran and Pope’s sake, but she didn’t need to know that. “I mean, can you really afford to lose another son?”

“Don’t threaten my boys,” She followed the IV tubing with her fingers to the place it was taped to his wrist. “You should know better.”

“Don’t delude yourself into thinking that I’m afraid of you,” Any fear he had retained for her over the years had been beaten out of him in prison. “Your threats don’t work on me. I know what cards you’ve got in your hand, and they are not enough to ante up.”

“Oh, you think so, do you?”

“Deran’s with me now, might even join my family business alongside me, but he’s never going to choose you again. You’ve Pope under your thumb through black mail. Julia’s kid is working his own angle. I doubt you trust either of them as far as you could throw them,” There was no loyalty to Smurf there, not anymore, they were just playing their parts. “Craig is the only one on your side. He’s with you, because he wants to be, not because you’re forcing him to. You really going to lose that over a little girl you’re going to turn on as soon as she hits puberty? I don’t think so. You’ll choose Craig. You need him.”

* * *

 

Adrian’s ‘I’m fine’ facade had disappeared in the time since Deran’s last visit. His face was pinched in pain and his unshackled hand was pressed to his collarbone, fingernails digging into the skin at the base of his neck like he was resisting the urge to claw at his bandage. Exhaustion was painted in dark circles beneath his eyes and his breath was coming in rough pants, as if the act of taking in air was just too difficult. The day, hell, the last sixteen months had obviously caught up with him.

Deran sighed and toed off his sneakers, leaving them beside the chair as he crawled into bed beside Adrian.

“What?” Adrian startled at the sudden invasion. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Deran lied, resting his head on Adrian’s shoulder. “You need this.”

“Okay,” Adrian curled an arm around him. “You all right?”

“How’d it go with Gramps?” Deran avoided the question. “Did the negotiations work out?”

“I think so, but I’m not really sure,” Adrian murmured, rubbing comforting circles over Deran’s back. “My sister and nephew are clear of the business, but they’ll get a monthly allowance or something so they can get out of that shithole they’re living in.”

“That’s good,” Jess and that little boy could use a step up. “How’d you set that up?”

“I promised my grandfather my firstborn,” Adrian said in a rush. “Oh, and he always gave me Craig, but I already traded him back to Smurf in exchange for his and Renn’s kid.”

“We’re gonna come back to the first born thing in a minute,” Deran wasn’t going to let that one slip through the cracks like Adrian wanted him to. “The Craig thing, though, did that have anything to do with how you got arrested?”

“I was just trying to help,” Adrian chose the path of honesty this time, instead of giving him the runaround like he had done before he’d gone to jail. “He messed up, asked for my help. I tried to help.”

“He asked you to smuggle drugs for him,” Deran sat up so he could look into Adrian’s eyes. “And you did, now we’re here. All that’s happened since then is--”

“He needed help. I chose to help. It’s as much on me as it is on him,” Adrian turned his head away from Deran’s scrutinizing gaze. “I could’ve said no, but I didn’t. What’s happened is my fault.”

“Craig--”

“Craig doesn’t know any better, Deran. All he’s ever done is watched your mother use and discard people. He’s just following her lead.” Adrian remarked, staring out the window on the far wall. “He needs help. He needs to grow up. I’m worried about him. He’s either going to end up like Smurf or end up dead. I’m not sure which is worse at this point.”

“What am I supposed to do with him?” It’s not like they hadn’t tried to get Craig help in the past. “Remember what happened the last time we tried to get him clean?”

“Yeah, I lost my hair,” Adrian groused, tugging at strands of it. “He puked in it while we were detoxing him, I couldn’t get the smell out no matter how many times I washed it.”

“I still say you didn’t have to shave it to the crew cut,” It’d broken Deran’s heart a bit when Adrian had taken the clippers to his long locks. “But you see my point, cleaning Craig up was a fucking shit show, and he couldn’t even stay sober a month.”

“That doesn’t mean you quit trying,” Adrian maintained. “I never gave up on you or Jess, and you both had some fucking issues.”

“You gave up on me a little,” Deran recalled their brief cooling off period after the fight at Real Surf. “I deserved it, but still...”

“I didn’t give up on you,” Adrian denied the claim. “I just needed space. And I came back.”

“I know, I know,” He shouldn’t have brought it up, it was ancient history by now. “You said you traded Craig back to Smurf?”

“My grandfather paid his debt, gave it to me to handle as my first order of business. Renn mentioned Smurf might try for custody of Willa, and I didn’t want that to happen,” Adrian gave him the quick and to the point explanation. “Smurf was here earlier, spewing bullshit about burying the hatchet. I made a deal with her instead.”

“Smurf was here,” No wonder he looked like death warmed over. “Sorry about that.”

“Not your fault,” Adrian let him off the hook. “I dealt with with it.”

“Sounds like it,” Deran cupped his cheek, tilting his head back toward him so they could look at each other. “You okay?”

“I’m just tired, Deran,” Adrian tried to reassure him with a tight grin. “Meds got my head all cloudy.”

“You can sleep for a while,” Deran caressed his cheek lightly. “I’ll stay.”

“I’m not that kind of tired.”

“Then we can keep talking,” Deran had more questions that needed answers anyway. “What was that stuff about your first born?”

“I have to jerk off into a cup for a surrogate of my grandfather’s choosing.” Adrian confessed sheepishly, cheeks tinted red. “It’s the only way he’d agree to financially support Jess and Joseph.”

“Wow,” That was some Smurf level manipulation right there. “A baby, that’s uh…”

“Yeah,” Adrian bit his lip nervously. “What do you think about that?”

“It’s a big decision,” Especially for someone who had never expressed any interest in having children. “But I understand why you made it.”

“I wanted to talk to you about it first, it effects both of us,” Adrian lifted his hand to push a strand of Deran’s hair out of his face. “I can keep putting it off until my grandfather dies and that stipulation goes along with him, or I can just say no.”

“And take money from your sister and nephew?” Deran wasn’t going to be responsible for that. “A kid’s a big change, but all the shit we’ve been through, it’s not the worst thing that could happen. I mean, neither us had the best parenting examples. We’ll probably fuck the kid up royally.”

“Oh definitely,” Adrian agreed, the sides of his lips twitching up in a small smile. “But we can’t do any worse than our parents did with us.”

“They did set a really low bar,” Deran chortled. “I don’t know, man, I like your sister’s kid well enough. And our place has more than enough room for a nursery or something.”

“A house and a kid,” Adrian exhaled a long breath. “You remember when the plan was to hobo it up and down the coast in my wagon, surfing all day, fucking all night...”

“Working odd jobs to pay for food and gas. That was dream,” Deran said wistfully. “It’s your fault we didn’t do that, you know. You wanted to play the responsible adult long before I did.”

“I couldn’t leave my sister and you wouldn’t leave your brothers,” Their sibling bonds had kept them from bolting from Oceanside as soon as they were out of high school. “We got to Belize, though.”

“Yes, we did,” Those few weeks in Belize were still the best of Deran’s life to date. “Maybe we’ll go back there when you’re off probation or something.”

“I don’t know if I’m getting probation or if my conviction is just getting overturned.”

“Well, what’s the plan?” Deran knew Kelly Dolan had friends in high places, but getting someone out of prison couldn’t be done with just a phone call. “How’s Grandpa getting you out?”

“His lawyer is going to argue that Pearce is dirty, that he, uh, works for Smurf or something, and that’s why you guys always walk when he’s the lead detective on the case, and how Smurf has gotten away with shit for so long,” Adrian tangled his hand in Deran’s shirt, keeping it in his grip as if he thought Deran might leave. “If that doesn’t work, they’ll probably threaten or bribe a judge or someone. I don’t know.”

“So long as it gets you home,” Deran didn’t actually care how Adrian got home so long as he did it soon. “Pearce working for Smurf, though, that’s fucking hilarious.”

“According to Gramps, back in the day,” Adrian glanced around Deran to check that no one was eavesdropping before continuing. “Pearce and Smurf were pretty hot and heavy together.”

“Ew,” That was some imagery that Deran did not need in his head. “It’s bullshit, but still gross.”

“There’s photographic evidence,” Adrian’s face twisted in disgust. “There are pictures of them in several compromising positions.”

“Why would you tell me that?” Deran cringed. “Seriously, why? _Why_?”

“Because I could not be the only one of us with that knowledge.” Adrian huffed, folding his arms over his chest. “It felt creepy to be the only one of us that knew. I had to tell someone.”

“And that someone just had to be me,” That was some bullshit. “D-Did you see this evidence?”

“No, I drew the line at the show part of show and tell.”

“Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: [you were mine first](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/private/182890682726/tumblr_pn4e4tSkTv1y73i7x)


	6. sleep when you're dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Warnings: Mentions of past rape/non-con.  
> Title comes from: [The Mask by Matt Maeson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZNBM-GWpg0)  
> Gif sets: [Chaos](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183063128816/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-chaos-bloodwater#notes), [Mine](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/182890682726/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-you-were-mine-first)

Rest was hard to come by in a prison that was too loud, too cold, and too lonely. As it turned out, freedom didn’t allow Adrian to sleep any less fitfully. The house was too quiet, the room too warm, the bed too soft, and Deran too close.

The other man was plastered to his back, heat radiating off him in waves, arms wrapped around Adrian’s waist in a vice grip. After months spent apart, Adrian understood Deran’s need to keep him close, but being the little spoon in this relationship was not something he had signed up for. He was the one who opened is arms and let Deran burrow in, who guarded Deran from the boogeyman and things that went bump in the night, not the other way around.

“I can’t sleep like this.” He whispered into the darkness and kicked the top sheet off, maneuvering out of Deran’s bone-crushing embrace, careful not to jostle him as he slid out of bed.

Adrian padded through the halls of the house, swearing when he tripped over one of the many boxes scattered all over the place. He made his way into the living room and pushed open the large bay windows above the sofa, allowing fresh air to circulate through the stifling house, letting the cool night breeze hit his sweat soaked body.

“Oh, that’s it,” Adrian moaned, sagging against the couch cushions. “Much better.”

Deciding to do something productive to combat his insomnia, he hooked his foot around a plastic tub lodged under the coffee table and dragged it closer to him. His name was scrawled on a piece of tape stuck on the lid, along with the word ‘storage.’ He had a vague recollection of Deran mentioning pulling some of his boxes out of the storage unit they shared since they were teenagers.

“Hmm,” Interest piqued, he popped the top off the tub and found another life packed neatly inside.

Albums and portfolios filled with photographs he’d taken were piled on top of each other and canisters of undeveloped film were swimming around freely. It was what was at the bottom of the tub that really counted. Bundled tight and secure, padded by old baby blankets were three lumps that represented an old, unfulfilled dream.

The Nikon was bought on a whim, he’d gotten it for a steal at a garage sale, and shot his first pictures with it. He had saved for months to pay for the old Fuji, and used it to take photographs at surf competitions, usually of Deran riding the waves. The vintage, twin-lens Yashica Mat he’d found in a box of his dad’s stuff when he was a kid, he’d been forbidden to touch it, and was shocked to be gifted it the morning of his high school graduation. The cameras, his equipment, they all held a special place in his heart.

Once upon a time, photography had been as much his passion as surfing. The two vocations had even overlapped on more than one occasion. Eventually, though, photography had taken a backseat to his love for the sea, and had been packed away in that plastic tub, left to collect dust in a storage unit.

“What are you doing up?” Deran asked, shuffling into the living room, sleep mussed and groggy. “Couldn’t sleep again?”

“I’m just not used to the place yet,” Once he really settled in, he’d probably sleep like a baby. “Did I wake you?”

“Kind of,” Deran huffed, flopping down on the couch beside him. “What’s with the tub?”

“You tell me,” Adrian wasn’t the one who’d hauled it into the house. “Why’d you pull it out of storage?”

“Your cameras and shit? I don’t know,” Deran shrugged, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Thought you might want to get back into it or something.”

“You mean since my dream of becoming a pro surfer is as good as dead?” Adrian snorted, taking one of the photo albums out of the tub. “You think I could be some hotshot photographer and a crook?”

“You only gotta be a crook until Grandpa croaks,” Deran reminded him. “After that, you can hand off the business to whoever you want, and get back to doing what you want.”

“Let’s hope Grandpa croaks sooner rather than later,” And, yes, Adrian was well aware of how awful that sounded. “...Of natural causes.”

“Natural causes, sure,” Deran chuckled. “Now, is that because you don’t want to play mafia king or because the longer he lives, the more likely it is you have to make good on that kid deal?”

“Both,” Adrian was not put on this planet to be an arms dealer or procreate, that was for damn sure. “The organization I can get out of one day. A kid we’re stuck with for the rest of our lives.”

“Not true,” Deran protested. “If we fuck the kid up enough, it’ll hate us, runaway the first chance it gets and never look back.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Of course, if they weren’t smart enough to run as fast and as far as they could when they were teenagers, he doubted their offspring would either. “But if we have a kid, I don’t want to intentionally screw it up. I’d at least try to be a good parent.”

“If being the operative word there,” Deran pointed out. “We don’t know if your grandpa is going to let you chose when all this happens. He could put a time table on it, say you have to do it here and now or no deal.”

“Maybe I should get a vasectomy,” That was thoroughly remove any prospect of having children. “I’d just tell Gramps that I’m sterile, bribe a doctor to say I’m naturally that way. Grandpa couldn’t break the deal over something he thinks neither of us has any control over.”

“Let’s make the vasectomy the nuclear option,” Deran covered his own crotch with a throw pillow. “We could still bribe a doctor to say you’re sterile, though.”

“You think that will work?”

“Not really,” Deran said honestly. “Your grandfather’s not an idiot.”

“That’s too bad,” Adrian sighed, flipping aimlessly through the photo album. “You know, I always thought if we ended up with a kid, it would be when you knocked up some chick trying to prove to yourself you were straight.”

“Yeah, I’ve had that nightmare,” Deran grimaced. “And there have been a few close calls over the years.”

“Oh, just one or two.” And those were just the ones they knew about. “I’m sorry about all of this Deran, I really am.”

“Hey, shut up,” Deran knocked their shoulders together. “We do what we gotta do, you know.”

“I know,” Doing what they had to do is what got them through a lot of tough times throughout their lives. “But sometimes...sometimes those kinds of choices are hard to live with.”

“Christ, Adrian, it’s just a kid--”

“It’s not about having a baby, Deran,” He wished it was something as simple as that. “It’s choices like...like what happened to Colby.”

“Colby was a rat,” Deran spit out harshly. “What happened to him isn’t on us, we didn’t do anything to him.”

“What if one of us did?”

Adrian had been searching for a way to tell Deran what had done since it had happened. He couldn’t keep it from him, if he was going to expect openness and honesty from Deran, then he had to offer those things up himself. It was just...when he thought about the many ways Deran could react, it never ended well. Deran would accept it at first, rationalize what Adrian had done, but when the gravity of it all set in, he’d see what Adrian had become and he would pull away.

“I mean...I-I...” He dug his nails into the palm of his hands, struggling to drum up the courage to confess but ultimately chickening out. “Colby was our friend. I...I think I want to go see his parents.”

“No,” Deran put his foot down, figuratively and literally. “They don't want to see any of his friends. They think we’re all responsible for Colby getting into the trouble and going to jail. They even made his funeral family-only to keep his friends from showing up.”

“They’re in pain,” Rightfully so, considering they had lost their son. “I just want to pay my respects, offer my condolences, tell them h-how sorry I am.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Deran argued, standing from the couch. “Colby got himself killed. We don’t owe him or his family anything.”

“Deran--”

“No, Adrian,” Deran snapped, but it was resignation and exhaustion in his voice, not the usual anger. “Can we just… Can we go to bed, please?”

“I’m still not tired,” And he really didn’t feel like lying awake in the dark, pretending like everything was fine. “I’m going to unpack some more boxes.”

“Whatever,” Deran grumbled, turning back toward the bedroom. “ _Goodnight_.”

“Goodnight.”

* * *

 

There was an uncomfortable kind of silence going on at Deran’s house when Pope stepped inside. He’d avoided the place for a week to give them space, but feeling the tense atmosphere, perhaps that was a mistake. He wondered what could have possibly happened in only a week that could have put them both on edge.

Deran was in the kitchen, drinking from a mug and pretending to flip through a magazine while he was actually staring longingly into the living room at his partner. Adrian sat on the couch, staring at a blank spot on the wall, physically present, but mind somewhere else.

“He all right?” Pope asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“He’s not sleeping, not in bed with me anyway,” Deran groused, sipping from his mug. “He’s been there since last night, or, this morning, I guess. We sort of got into a fight.”

“About what?”

“He wants to visit Colby’s parents, I think it’s a bad idea.” Deran offered him the short version of the mornings events. “It’s not gonna happen.”

“Because you said no?” Pope scoffed at his brother’s arrogance. “Adrian’s never been one for following orders, especially yours.”

“Yeah, I know,” Deran glared at his boyfriend across the room. “Stubborn asshole.”

“I heard that,” Adrian came out of his stupor to scowl at Deran over his shoulder.

“Only ‘cause I wanted you to,” Deran claimed, loudly slurping his coffee. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Nothing,” Adrian returned his eye-line to the spot on the wall. “I’m not hungry.”

“Of course you’re not,” Deran muttered irritably. “What about you, Pope?”

“No,” Pope wasn’t hungry enough to be a guinea pig for Deran’s cooking. “But I think if you made him something, he’d eat it.”

“He might,” Deran ceded, moving toward the fridge. “What are you doing here so early?”

“It’s not early,” It was after 10am for fuck sake. “I’ve been thinking about the Smurf and Pearce thing.”

“Please don’t tell me that,” Deran cringed, going green around the gills. “I finally got those images out of my head.”

“What if it’s true?” The evidence had to hold weight if it was enough to get Adrian out of jail. “If Smurf’s got Pearce in her pocket, we should know. It’s one more thing she’s kept from us.”

“I don’t buy it,” Deran shook his head, taking milk and eggs from the fridge. “Why would she rot in jail as long as she did if she had a cop on her payroll that could get her out?”

“She needed an alibi for Baz’s death,” Which Pope still fully believed she was responsible for. “We need to talk to Jake.”

“Who the hell is Jake?”

“One of Smurf’s oldest contacts,” Pope remembered Jake coming around the house throughout his childhood. “And he’s Craig’s father.”

“Oh, that’s just great,” Deran slammed the food down on the counter. “I’m sure he’s a real prince.”

“Like Craig, you mean?” Pope couldn’t ignore the disdain dripping from his brother’s voice. “You talk to him since Adrian got out?”

“Nope.”

“You’ll have to eventually,” The avoidance technique didn’t work when they were brothers. “Might as well get it over with.”

“Don’t you mean ‘get over it’?” Deran rolled his eyes. “Just like we’ve gotten over everything else Craig has done. Just like we’ll get over the next thing and the next.”

“I am not telling you to get over it,” This betrayal was far more personal than Craig’s previous screw ups. “I want you to talk to him, tell him how you feel, whatever.”

“Craig’s not gonna give a shit about how I feel,” Deran said through gritted teeth. “Craig only cares about Craig.”

“You’re pissed off, show him, tell him, do whatever it is you gotta do,” They could kick each others asses for all Pope cared, so long as they cleared the air. “I’m bringing him over for dinner tonight.”

“No, you’re not,” Deran bristled at the idea. “I don’t want him in my house. I don’t want him near Adrian.”

“Adrian will decide who can and cannot see him,” Adrian interjected, a hint of warning in his tone. “I wouldn’t mind having your brothers over for dinner.”

“You are intentionally being contrary,” Deran accused his partner. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” Adrian smirked. “I’ll keep doing it until you learn to stop making decisions for me.”

“So, Craig and I are coming for dinner tonight,” Pope and Adrian had the majority vote, making Deran’s irrelevant. “But after breakfast, Deran, you and me, we’re going to go talk to Jake.”

“Why do I have to go?” Deran pouted. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to leave Adrian alone.”

“I can goto my sisters,” Adrian jumped at the chance to get out of the house for a while. “I haven’t seen her or my nephew since the day I got out.”

“That could be a good idea,” Deran mulled it over. “As long as you don’t stop by Colby’s parents house while you’re in town.”

“And you would know if I did, right?” Adrian remarked calmly. “LoJack in my car?”

“You don’t have a car,” Deran retorted. “Your sister still has your wagoneer. I’ll drive you over there.”

“Of course you will,” Adrian mumbled under his breath. “You’d probably wipe my ass for me if I let you.”

“You know, if you don’t stop hovering over him, he’s going to end up back in prison,” Pope cautioned his baby brother. “This time for killing you.”

“I know,” Deran exhaled slowly. “I know.”

* * *

 

The night Adrian was released, there was a welcome home get together at The Drop, a small, intimate gathering of family and trusted friends. The party marked the last time he’d seen anyone outside of Deran, and more recently Pope. Deran had kept him home bound since that night.

He hadn’t minded the isolation, not at first. The house provided a safe place for him to decompress after prison and the hospital. He could let his guard down without fearing a shiv in the back. He was allowed to shed the survival-mode skin he’d been living in, but that came with it’s own set of problems.

While he was in incarcerated, compartmentalizing what he had to do and what was being done to him was easy. All he had to focus on was getting through that day and the next day and the one after that. Without the hyper-vigilance as a distraction, Adrian was forced to find something new to keep his mind busy, lest he actually have the time to really think about all that had happened over the last sixteen months. The best distraction he could ever hope for came in the form of his baby nephew playing with building blocks on the grass in backyard at his sister's place.

The toddler would stack the blocks up high as he could then cackle and clap when they’d all fall down. The happiness and innocence in his nephews grin made his heart hurt, he knew it was only a matter of time before life stole it from him.

“Hey, could you not act like playing with my son is the worst thing in the world?” His sister tossed a foam ball at his head. “I don’t want him to inherit the sullenness that follows the Dolan men.”

“Maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll take after his dad,” Adrian remarked pointedly. “Who is that again?”

“He was just a guy, no one special,” Jess shrugged, standing by the party line she’d given him throughout her pregnancy. “That’s all you and Dad need to know.”

“So it’s someone we know,” He really hoped it wasn’t one of his friends. “It’s not a Cody, is it?”

“Ew, no,” Jess gagged dramatically. “You and Renn are the only ones slinking that low.”

“Good,” Their family was twisted enough without adding Cody blood to the mix. “You’re doing okay, though, right? With all this single mom stuff? You’re okay?”

“I’m great,” Jess smiled brightly, running a hand through her son’s hair. “It was hard. It _**is**_ hard. But I do okay. Renn and Deran were a big help, Dad too, sometimes.”

“I’m glad they were here for you,” Adrian couldn’t stand the thought of his sister being alone when she needed someone the most. “I could help out some since I’m home now. I could babysit while you’re at work or when you need a break.”

“That’d be good, yeah,” Jess nodded, pursing her lips. “You want to prepare yourself for Daddy duty, huh?”

“No,” Adrian would only accept the title of _daddy_ under one circumstance, and it sure as hell did not involve a kid. “I’m not going to be forced to have a child just because some geriatric asshole has an archaic view of how the world works.”

“Wow,” Jess whistled. “I was that bad of a kid that I put you off having them entirely?”

“All you did was cry and shit,” Adrian had never seen taking care of his sister as a burden, but it had taken a lot out of him when he was younger. “Not that I blame you for it, you were a baby, you couldn’t help it.”

“I should have been Mom and Dad’s responsibility, not yours,” Jess acknowledged. “I wonder who took care of you before you learned to do it for yourself.”

“Dad and Adrianna had to have done some of it,” Adrian liked to think his parents weren’t always fucked up. “So, I’ve got a meeting with Grandpa tomorrow. I’ll find out when you’ll be getting your first check.”

“I don't need the money,” Jess said, picking at the grass. “I get by.”

“I don’t want you to just get by,” He wanted better for his sister and nephew than that. “And I...I needed another reason to say yes to Grandpa. It couldn’t be just about getting me released. I needed out, but I-I needed the ends to justify the means.”

“I’m so fucking happy that you’re out. You being away, knowing you were by yourself in there, I felt helpless. I hated it so much,” Jess admitted, eyes filling with tears. “I get why you did what you did, but you can’t...you can’t go away again. Okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” He would take Deran up on that offer to run for the border before he ever went back to prison. “I’m going to keep my head down from here on out.”

“Can you keep your head down while running a criminal organization?”

“Yes,” It could be done. He could do it. He would do it. He had to do it. “It’s not forever. It’s only temporary.”

“You have a plan to get out of it?” His sister questioned curiously. “Care to share?”

“I have to see what Kelly has planned for me first,” He had an idea of how to get himself out of the crime infested hole he’d dug himself into, but he had to know what he was working with first. “I can’t just bail on it the first chance I get. When I leave the organization, it has to be better than it is. If I can turn it into something good, shift it in the right direction, maybe I can clean some of the blood off my hands.”

“What blood?”

“Doesn’t matter,” He couldn’t tell her, she’d ever look at him the same way again. “I don't want to leave the organization in the wrong hands, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

“You’ve spent your whole life surrounded by criminals,” Jess didn’t call out the Cody’s by name, but he heard it all the same. “You can use what you’ve learned from them to do what you want with the business. Take all that knowledge you’ve stored up and put it good use.”

“I’ll try.”

* * *

 

Tracking Jake down was easier than expected. There was a bar on the outskirts of town where all the old cons gathered to shoot the shit and tell tall tales about their glory days. Jake was alone, sitting at a dark corner table, drinking amber colored liquid from a tumbler.

“This guy is Craig’s dad?” Deran huffed as they approached the table. “I’m not seeing a resemblance.”

“Smurf claimed he was Craig’s old man, but I don’t think there’s any paternity test to verify any of our dad’s are who she says they are,” Pope commented, kicking the table leg to get Jake’s attention. “Need to talk to you.”

“Well, well, well,” Jake tipped his head to peer up at them. “If it isn’t Smurf’s little bastards.”

“And you’re one of Smurf’s cast-offs,” Deran shot back, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother. “We want you to tell us about another one.”

“You licked Smurf’s boots longer than most,” Pope crossed his arms over his chest and towered over the table. “Even after she kicked you out of bed, you watched others come and go, allies turn to enemies.”

“Why the hell should I help you?” Jake glared at them. “The last time I saw Smurf, she tased me, tied me to a chair, and shot me in the kneecap.”

“So, you want to hurt her,” Deran smirked, seeing how they could use that to their advantage. “Best way to do that is to tell us what you know about Smurf and Detective Pearce.”

“Oh, someone spilled the beans,” Jake chortled. “That’s not a secret Smurf would want out in the open. Who told you?”

“Irrelevant,” Pope kicked the table leg once more. “Tell us what you know.”

“Pearce and Smurf were before my time, boys,” Jake shrugged, taking a swig of the booze from his glass. “I only know what I heard and I heard that Smurf sunk her claws into him when he was just a rookie walking a beat.”

“That’s all you know?” Deran should have guessed that anyone who shared Smurf’s bed would be a gigantic waste of their time. “You’re useless.”

“You want to know about Smurf and Pearce, you need to go further back,” Jake advised them. “Talk to someone who was around before Andrew here slithered out of her.”

“You got a name?” Pope inquired, losing his patience with Craig’s sperm donor. “A general direction to point us in?”

“There was a hanger-on that pre-dated me, someone Smurf fucked over after years of loyalty,” Jake revealed, a predatory grin spread across his lips. “A guy by the name of Dolan.”

“Oh, Christ,” Deran barely resisted the urge to repeatedly bang his head against the table. “This family gets more screwed up everyday.”

“We don’t know if it was...like that,” Pope patted his brother’s shoulder, but kept his focus on Jake. “Kelly or Hank?”

“Kelly Dolan is a man with standards. High standards that Smurf would never measure up to,” Jake laughed to himself. “Hank Dolan, on the other hand, has children with a stripper. The math is not that hard.”

“Hey, Adrianna owns that strip club now,” Deran came to Adrian’s stepmother’s defense, for reasons he didn’t quite understand. “She’s a business woman.”

“Call Adrian,” Pope ordered his little brother. “He needs to have a chat with his dad.”

“Yep,” Deran sighed, taking his phone from his pocket. “This should be a fun conversation.”

“That’s why you’re the one having it.”

* * *

 

One of the more surprising things about Adrian’s time away was how often his father visited and how well they got along during that time. Who knew all they needed to bond was supervision from armed guards? However, sitting in total silence in lawn chairs outside their family motorhome, Adrian wondered if whatever semblance of a father/son relationship they developed had been overturned with his conviction.

“I’ve been meaning to come see you,” Hank mentioned, lighting a cigarette. “But I doubt Deran would let me on the property, let alone into the house.”

“If we’re all going to work together with Kelly, you and Deran are gonna have to learn to get along,” Adrian wasn’t dumb enough to think they would ever become friends, but they could learn to be cordial. “At least pretend to.”

“You believe in miracles now?” Hank snorted, taking a puff from the cancer stick. “Look, I know you didn’t come over here to sit and wallow.”

“I’m not wallowing,” He was a brooder not a wallower, there was a difference. “I came to ask you something.”

“Well, we ain’t gettin’ any younger...”

“I am only asking you this because I have to, not because I want to,” Adrian wanted that on record, signed, dated and notarized. “Have you had sex with Smurf Cody?”

“No,” His father said slowly, deliberately, in a way that sounded like truth in Adrian’s ears. “Have you?”

“What? No,” Adrian gawked at the older man, suddenly feeling queasy. “Why would you ask me that?”

“Why would _**you**_ ask _**me**_ that?” Hank countered, passing the cigarette over to him. “I’ve never been so desperate for sex that I’d rail a woman who would chop my balls off afterward. Plus, you’re the only Dolan dumb enough to slum it with a Cody.”

“You’re not the first person to say that to me today,” He was beginning to get offended on Deran’s behalf. “Someone told Deran and Pope that you used to hang around Smurf. You never told me that.”

“You never asked if I’d known Smurf before you and Deran started having play dates,” Hank retorted. “I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide to hate your best friend and his entire family. That beef is older than you are.”

“You hung around but you didn’t fuck her,” Adrian could find a small piece of solace in that. “Were you part of her crew?”

“I was the wheel man,” Hank said wistfully. “That’s what you were when you pulled jobs with Deran, right?”

“Kind of,” When they weren’t selling dime bags, they were both sort of wheel men. “I boosted cars and ran a chop shop.”

“Smurf didn’t trust me, so she kept me on that outside,” Hank toyed with his lighter absently. “She thought I was a spy planted by my father, as if he gave a shit what a simple bank robber was up to.”

“Smurf’s always thought she was higher up on the food chain than she actually is,” Smurf thought was a powerful dictator of a prestigious country, when in reality she only ruled a small household. “What happened? She kicked you out? You wanted out? What?”

“A heist gone wrong. She needed a fall guy. I was expendable.” Hank sneered, nostrils flaring. “I wasn’t the one who fucked up, but getaway drivers are easier to find than safe crackers.”

“How’d you end up taking the rap?”

“They left evidence at the bank, evidence that would implicate the one member of the team that would flip on the whole crew if pressed too hard by the cops,” Hank sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Smurf made a deal with the cop she was screwing. She would hand over someone involved in the robbery, he would close the case, and that evidence would disappear.”

“And you just went along with it?” Adrian took a drag from the cigarette. “Why didn’t you flip on her or the rest of them?”

“I’m not a rat,” Hank remarked smugly. “Why didn’t you flip on the people you were smuggling for?”

“I’m not a rat,” Adrian echoed his father’s sentiment, passing the cigarette back to him. “The cop Smurf was fucking, it was Pearce?”

“He was young and stupid like the rest of us,” Hank drawled, raking a hand through his greasy hair. “She would hand over crooks that had crossed her so he could close cases and eventually get promoted. The higher position he held on the force, the more he could help her, the more chances she could take.”

“But it didn’t last,” It never could when Smurf was involved. “What happened?”

“I was locked up by then, but I heard he grew a conscience,” His father recalled. “An innocent bystander was killed during one of Smurf’s heists, a kid. Pearce didn’t want to ignore it or sweep it under the rug like she wanted him to.”

“She’s still has something on him though, otherwise she wouldn’t be walking around free and clear,” Adrian suspected it was evidence that Pearce had been cleaning up after Smurf’s crew, something that would insure mutually assured destruction if he talked. “How long were you in prison?”

“Ten years. I had a previous record and may have gotten into a few scuffles while I was in there,” Hank said sheepishly. “Your grandfather thought prison might’ve straightened me out. He let me come home when I got out, acted like I could be part of the business, even introduced me to Caroline.”

“My biological mother?” Adrian quirked a brow. “He set you up with her?”

“She was the daughter of one of his associates,” Hank twisted the wedding band that still sat on his finger, one that Adrian’s stepmother had given him. “He thought our marriage could bind our families together. It was some old school mafia bullshit.”

“It was all business,” Adrian’s existence was part of a business transaction. “And I was a guarantee that the organization would stay in the family, like Kelly wanted.”

“Caroline and I were into each other, we were, it shocked the hell out of us,” Hank smiled shyly, bashful in a way Adrian had never seen. “But she never wanted to be part of our parents world, I followed her out of it because I loved her. She was pregnant with you at the time.”

“I was born. You divorced. You met Adrianna,” Adrian had heard this part of the story. “Caroline dumped me and hit the road.”

“It wasn’t because she didn’t want you, Adrian,” His father alleged, hand jerking like he wanted to reach across the table between them but wouldn’t let himself. “She loved you, but I think you scared her.”

“How?”

“You were always so goddamn sure of yourself, even as an infant. You didn’t cry much. Jess would wail for hours, you remember? You never did that,” Hank looked almost fond as he remembered Adrian’s childhood. “Y-You’d act like you were just going to start screaming your head off, then you’d stare up at us with this expression that said you knew we had no fucking idea what we were doing. Then, I don’t know, you’d relax, unscrunch your little face and pout, and that was it.”

“I self-soothed early,” He’d wager that was a direct response to neglect. “That was so scary?”

“You didn’t need us. You didn’t need her,” Hank murmured somberly. “She really wanted to raise you, to make you in her perfect image, turn you into someone our families would hate so they would never let you in the business.”

“You both decided I didn’t need her and she thought that meant she couldn’t raise me at all,” Oh yeah, that made a lot of sense. “When I was a kid, you told me she bailed because she didn’t want to be a mother.”

“She didn’t, not really. She wanted a do-over, to relive her life through a child and try to make it different,” Hank glanced away, pinning his gaze on something in the distance. “What Caroline really wanted was to be free, because in the life we were raised in, she never could be.”

“I can relate.”

“You’re a lot like her,” Hank acknowledged, taking another drag from the cigarette. “You get restless when things are calm, you’re not comfortable without a little chaos.”

“Who the hell is?” It wasn’t so strange. “Life needs excitement.”

“Excitement and chaos are two different things, son,” Hank stubbed out the cigarette in the ash tray. “I want you to remember that while we’re working for Kelly.”

* * *

 

Deran had only agreed to make one stop with Pope, to the meeting with Jake, yet somehow his brother had managed to drag him to three different grocery stores to pickup ingredients for dinner. It was late in the evening when they finally returned to the house, which Deran was fully expecting to be empty, believing Adrian would have taken his inch of freedom and ran with it. Instead, he found Adrian curled up on the couch, staring at the same spot on the wall as earlier, and that was about as worrying as if he’d been gone.

It seemed like he spent more time worrying about Adrian now that he was out of jail than when he was inside. Inside, Deran had no control over what could happen, no way to protect Adrian. Out was a different story, he could keep him safe if he could just keep him close.

“I’m going to put these away,” Pope took the grocery sacks from Deran. “And start dinner.”

“Okay.”

Deran took off his coat and draped it over an arm chair as he made his way into the living room. He slipped onto the empty cushion beside Adrian, placing a hand on his thigh to let him know he was there. Adrian startled at the touch, flinching away from him.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Deran murmured soothingly, gripping his leg to keep him from moving further away. “It’s just me.”

“Sorry,” Adrian’s cheek flushed red with embarrassment. “I guess I zoned out.”

“Yeah, you did,” Deran had noticed he’d been doing that a lot lately. “We went by your sister’s place on the way home, you weren’t there.”

“Is the GPS on my tracking collar not working?” Adrian snarked, coming back to himself. “You asked me to talk to my dad, I went to talk to my dad. He gave me a ride home.”

“Okay,” Deran wouldn’t touch the tracking collar comment with a ten foot pole. “What’d your dad have to say?”

“Smurf and Pearce were a thing until Pearce realized it was wrong,” Adrian confirmed the affair, just as Jake had. “Oh, and your mom is the reason my dad spent a decade in prison, but that’s another story.”

“Sounds riveting,” He was sure there was a long, complicated history that went with that story. “That’s not what’s got you all zoned out, though.”

“Oh, uh,” Panic flashed over Adrian’s face, but was quickly schooled into blankness, a sure sign that whatever came out of his mouth would be nothing more than deflection. “My dad thinks I can’t be comfortable unless things are chaotic.”

“It’s kind of true,” Deran could see how someone could come to that conclusion. “You did become a drug smuggler around the same time the rest of us started getting our shit together.”

“I...” Adrian faltered at the assessment. “I don’t like it when you agree with my dad.”

“It’s harder on me than it is for you,” Deran patted his partner’s leg sympathetically. “Have things been chaotic enough for you lately?”

“Almost too much,” Adrian replied, shaking his head. “So, do you have a game plan?”

“For what?”

“Craig.”

“I don’t want him here,” He thought he had made that clear. “I want him as far away from us as possible.”

“He’s your brother, Deran,” Adrian covered Deran’s hand with his own. “Cutting him off isn’t an option, and it shouldn’t be.”

“How can you say that?” Deran wrenched his hand away. “You went to jail because of him.”

“He asked for help, I tried to help him. It’s not his fault things went bad,” Adrian argued, making Craig out to be a near-blameless party. “Don’t give up on Craig. Not ‘cause of me.”

“He shouldn’t have gone to you,” That was a line that never should have been crossed. “He should’ve asked one of his own friends to help him.”

“He did,” Adrian pointed out. “I am his friend.”

“You were mine first,” As the youngest of his family, most of what Deran had were hand-me-downs, Adrian was the first thing that belonged to him and not his whole family. “You were _mine._ ”

“I still am. I will always choose you, Deran,” Adrian promised. “And as your friend and your partner, I want you to remember that Craig is the one person in your family who has had you back your entire life.”

“I have paid him back for that tenfold by cleaning up his shit, piss, and puke my entire life. He doesn’t change, Adrian. He doesn’t get better. He just reaches new levels of fucked up,” Deran had grown sick of banging his head against that particular wall. “I don't want to be responsible for taking care of him anymore.”

“You don’t have to be responsible for him. He’s an adult, he needs to learn to take responsibility for himself, that’s the point.” Adrian was either incredibly naive or had more faith in Craig than the rest of them. “We just have to get him there.”

“How?” They’d played this game with Julia and it ended in her death, Deran did not want to go through all of it again. “How the fuck do we get him there? I’m open to suggestions.”

“Well, I don’t know exactly,” Adrian scratched his head. “You could start by being honest with him tonight. Don’t silent treatment him or grunt every third word without actually saying anything.”

“Talk to him? That’s your answer?” Oh, how fucking wise and insightful. “Talking doesn’t solve anything.”

“No, it does,” Adrian disagreed with him on that. “You would know that if you ever tried it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Knock, knock,” Craig announced himself as he trudged into the house. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Craig,” Adrian stood to greet their guest. “You missed my welcome home party.”

“I wasn’t invited,” Craig threw an accusing glance at Deran. “Good to see you, A. Glad you’re out.”

“Yeah, me too,” Adrian seconded with a small smile. “Um, I’m gonna go help Pope in the kitchen, give you two a chance to talk or beat each other half to death, which seems more likely.”

“Uh, okay,” Craig waved awkwardly as Adrian made his getaway, leaving the brothers alone. “Hey, bro. Haven’t seen you since he was in the hospital.”

“Yeah, well, I learned a lot while he was in that hospital,” Deran rose from the couch, refusing to have to look up to his brother. “Like how he ended up in jail.”

“He, um,” Craig cleared his throat. “He told you?”

“He confirmed it,” A different source had whispered that truth in his ear. “Pope is the one who told me to ask Adrian about it.”

“Pope?” Craig gaped, betrayal painting his features. “He said he was going to let me be the one to tell you.”

“You’ve had sixteen months to tell me,” Deran would never have gotten answers if he had to rely on Craig to give them. “You should have come to me before you ever went to Adrian for anything.”

“I did go to you,” Craig claimed, narrowing his eyes. “I asked you for money when I got back from Mexico.”

“You asked me for a couple grand,” Small fry compared to what he actually owed. “That’s nowhere near an amount that would justify you asking Adrian to clean up your mess.”

“I tried cleaning it up myself, I just wasn’t enough,” Craig said shamefully, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “And, you know, Adrian wasn’t exactly a reluctant participant in all this.”

“You shouldn’t have gone to him!” Deran shouted at his brother. “You had no fucking right, Craig. None. You should have asked one of your people. Adrian is mine, but that’s exactly why you chose him, isn’t it?”

“Stop acting like I did it on purpose, like I was trying to get Adrian out of the way,” Craig barked at him. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Yeah, you never do,” It was just bad luck that got them where they are, not shitty choices. “You’re just a victim of circumstance.”

“You’re not listening!” Craig yelled. “Don’t you even want to hear my side of it?”

“I know your side of it, Craig,” It was always the same story. “You were either bored or looking for attention. That’s your side of it. I know it by heart.”

“I was trying to build something.”

“The tequila company,” Deran remembered his brother mentioning it upon his return from Mexico. “What, you thought a drug cartel would make a great investor?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to you--”

“It makes perfect sense,” Deran could follow his brother’s thought process easily. “You’re a fucking junkie, they sell your drug of choice. I’m sure their investment was a large shipment of cocaine for your to sell. You’d use your cut to finance your tequila company. That sound about right?”

“No,” Craig denied the assumption. “They gave me the money to start the company upfront. Each shipment of tequila to the states would include a few bricks of cocaine hiding in a secret compartment.”

“But you fucked up somehow,” Shocking, honestly. “And ended up owing more than you could pay off.”

“When those assholes attacked me and Renn at the house, they took everything, the money, the product,” Craig explained how he’d wracked up such a debt. “The cartel didn’t care how I lost it. They didn’t want excuses, they just wanted their money back.”

“Guess what, Craig, I don’t want excuses either,” Deran had heard enough of them to last a lifetime. “I just want to know why you chose Adrian to be your mule. Out of everyone in your orbit, you chose the one person I give a damn about. Why? Why him?”

“The cartel said if I didn’t pay up, they’d go after our family,” Craig confessed. “I knew Adrian wouldn’t let you get hurt if he could stop it. He’s the only person I could trust to do the job.”

“You leveraged me against him,” That was Smurf level emotional manipulation. “You should have brought it to me and Pope, laid it all out on the table. We could have figured something out. You didn’t have to use Adrian.”

“I couldn’t bring it to you guys,” Craig ducked his head and hunched his shoulders. “Not when it was about...about drugs.”

“Simple fucking solution, Craig, stop being a fucking junkie,” Recreational drug use was widely accepted in their family, but Julia and Craig had always taken it too far. “But you’re too weak for that, aren’t you? Just like Julia.”

“I’m sorry, Deran.”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Craig. I don’t care that you fucked up, being a complete and total fuck is your default. But you...you used Adrian,” That was something Deran couldn’t forgive. “Everything that happened to him in prison would not have happened had you not put him in the position to end up there. Everything Smurf had done to him is on you. Every new scar on his body, every nightmare, every trauma, that is on you.”

“I’m sorry, Deran,” Craig apologized again, breath hitching. “W-What do you want me to do? What do I do?”

“Stay away,” That was the only thing Deran wanted from his brother. “You can have dinner with us tonight, like Pope wants, but that’s it. I don’t want you to come back here. I don’t want you at my bar. I don't want you anywhere near Adrian. You stay the hell away from both of us.”

* * *

 

When Deran and Craig had begun raising their voices, Adrian and Pope had abandon dinner preparations to sit outside on the patio, giving the squabbling brothers some privacy to hash things out.

“Have you old Deran yet?” Pope asked, breaking the otherwise comfortable silence.

“Told him what?” Adrian had more than a few secrets as of late, Pope would have to be more specific.

“That you hate this house.”

“I don’t hate it,” It was a nice place, something Deran had obviously put a lot of care and effort into making theirs. “It’s just a lot more than I’m used to. My previous homes were a motorhome, my car, an apartment, the crawl space in Deran’s bar, and a prison cell.”

“You could fit everyone of those places in here, twice, and still have more than enough room to move around,” Pope determined. “I can see how that might be overwhelming.”

“It’ll be all right,” Adrian would learn to be at home there. “So, how you been, Pope? Living under Smurf’s roof again can’t be easy for you.”

“I’m fine,” Pope brushed off the concern. “Smurf is the same as she’s always been. I know what to expect from her. Deran working for your grandfather is what I’m worried about.”

“You’re not the only one with reservations about that,” It was one of the things keeping Adrian awake at night. “I shouldn’t have involved him. It’s too dangerous.”

“If you hadn’t, he would’ve gone around you to your grandfather directly to involve himself,” Pope reasoned, proving how well he knew how Deran’s mind worked. “Can you get me in?”

“Into my grandfather’s organization? Yeah, probably,” Adrian and his grandfather hadn’t put a cap on the number of people he could bring in. “But why?”

“Someone needs to keep an eye on you two.”

“We do tend to get into trouble when left unsupervised,” Getting into trouble in that world could have devastating consequences. “I know you went back to Smurf to protect Lena. How are you going to explain working for my grandfather?”

“Smurf only wants three things in life, money, power, and Deran,” Pope ticked the items off on his fingers. “I could tell her how infiltrating Kelly’s business would benefit her. I could give her false information, let her believe she could use it to push Kelly out and take over.”

“Deran works for Kelly, if she takes over, he’ll be working for her again, and she’ll have all the money and power she could ever need,” Wasn’t that a terrifying thought. “What happens to Lena when Smurf finds out you’re playing her?”

“I thought if I got in good with your grandfather, he could use some of his pull to keep Smurf from getting anywhere near Lena,” It wasn’t a full proof plan, but it was better than just going along with whatever Smurf wanted for the rest of their lives. “What do you think?”

“It could work,” If his grandfather didn’t want to help, they could just find another way to keep Lena out of Smurf’s reach. “You need to make sure Julia’s kid doesn’t try to follow you into my family business. I loved Julia, but I don’t trust her brat as far as I could throw him.”

“Neither do I,” Pope muttered. “He’s too focused on destroying Smurf and keeping up with his new girlfriend to join another organization.”

“Good,” That was one problem they wouldn’t have to deal with. “We’re going to have to bring Craig into the fold.”

“You want Craig involved in this?” Pope eyes widened. “Deran will never agree to that.”

“Not involved. Aware,” They couldn’t just leave him in the dark. “We do this behind his back and he finds out, he’s going to feel abandon by his brothers, and he will self destruct in a big way. We need to tell him what’s going on and convince him it’s not something he wants.”

“I don't think that’s going to be as easy as you think it is.”

“Never said it would be easy,” Nothing ever was. “But I’ve got a plan.”

“I’m sure you do,” Pope said, giving him a quick once-over. “There’s not much to do but think and plan when you’re not sleeping.”

“Did Deran tell you?”

“If he hadn’t, the bags under your eyes would have given it away,” Pope noted. “Is one of those plans you thought up for yourself? Something for you to do when you’re free of the family business?”

“I don’t know. I just want something simple,” He may have been at home in chaos, but he didn’t want to live his life in a constant state of it. “Help Deran with the bar, maybe open my own shop.”

“What about surfing?” Pope inquired, sounding genuinely interested. “You done competing? Deran said you did great on that tour.”

“I hated being on that tour. I loved it at first, sold my piece of Real Surf to afford the first leg, but it was harder than I thought to be away from everyone,” Adrian usually did all right on his own, it was different when he was so far away. “When I’d come home, everything would be different. Everyone would be different. I was standing still, everyone else was moving on.”

“Why didn’t you quit if you hated it so much?”

“I couldn’t quit when everyone kept saying what a great opportunity it was. I know they meant well, but...” But his mind liked to twist things until they were dark and ugly. “It felt like I was being pushed out of my own life.”

“Coming home from prison is like that,” Pope sighed tiredly. “You were stuck in that place, but everyone else had to get on with their lives.”

“I know,” Adrian hadn’t expected anyone to put their lives on hold for him. “I can’t catch up, but I can find a place to fit in.”

“You already have a place, if you want to keep it you have to take care of yourself,” Pope advised him. “You been to a real doctor since you’ve been out?”

“Not yet,” Adrian pressed his fingers against the bandage on this throat. “Don’t need to until the stitches are ready to come out.”

“Yes, you do, but not for that,” Pope held his gaze, trying to communicate what he was trying to say. “You need to get checked by a real doctor to see that everything is fine, that you’re clean, before you are _with_ Deran again.”

“I know,” The last thing he wanted to do was put Deran at risk. “If I goto the doctor, Deran will want to know why, and I’m not prepared to have that conversation.”

“Deran already knows what happened to you,” Pope broke it to him as gently as someone like Pope could. “He read your medical chart every time you were sent to the infirmary.”

“Yeah, I saw him do it,” He often woke up in the infirmary to see Deran skimming through what was supposed to be a private file, the disgust on his face was permanently imprinted on Adrian’s brain. “So long as we don’t talk about it, we can act like none of it ever happened.”

“’Cause that’s healthy.”

“Deran needs to own the person he’s with in a very primal way,” Adrian would be the first to admit Deran had changed considerably since he came out, but that possessiveness was still very much a part of who he was. “It’s something I accepted when we reconciled, maybe I even got off on it a little. If I even had dinner with someone else, he would have had you beat the shit out of them, and then he and I would fuck it out, violently.”

“But you didn’t goto dinner with someone else,” Pope pointed out. “You were raped. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that someone else was inside me,” Adrian could let Deran fuck it out with him, but the man who violated him was inaccessible for retribution, so the job would remain partially unfinished, and that just wouldn’t do. “Deran would try to let it go, but it would eat at him. Eventually he wouldn’t be able to live with it, with me, anymore. And I...I just got him back, I’m not ready to lose him again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Adrian reaches out to Craig. Proving their loyalty to the Dolan organization could pit Deran and Pope against a member of their family.


	7. escape from the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Chapter title comes from [This is My World by Esterly ft. Austin Jenckes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cfHjYdwfg8)  
> Gif sets: [hunting](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183784172876/animal-kingdom-pre-series-hunting-bloodwater), [conversation](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183380230486/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-conversation), [grow up](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183620600146/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-grow-the-hell-up), [empty house](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183328222821/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-empty-house-and-a-dive)

The meet was scheduled for 6am at a secluded stretch of woods a few hours north of Oceanside. They had to park just off the highway and hike to the designated spot where Kelly and his men were waiting and armed with hunting rifles.

“Power play?” Adrian presented the question to his father as they broke through the tree line. “Or did Kelly change his mind and decide we knew too much to let us live?”

“Depends on how you respond,” Hank replied, flanking him on his left while Deran took his right and Pope brought up the rear. “Behave like a leader. Prove that you can hold your own here. If you fail, he’s not going to let you bring us in, he’ll put his own people on you.”

“So, you guys need to shut up and pretend like you can take orders from someone besides your mommy,” Adrian directed the cheap shot at the Codys at his side. “You two good with that?”

“Yeah,” Pope answered for himself and his brother. “We got it.”

“Good,” Adrian squared his shoulders as they neared the other group. “Let’s do this.”

“Grandson,” Kelly greeted him with a bright grin and open arms. “Welcome.”

“Interesting choice of venues,” Adrian noted, settling for a handshake rather than the hug his grandfather was expecting. “Hank used to bring me up here to hunt.”

“Then you know how to use this,” Kelly held a rifle out to him. “There is a nice sized buck a few clicks past my associate Neil’s shoulder.”

“And you’d like me to shoot it,” Adrian had played this game for different reasons as a teenager. “Which one of your associates is Neil?”

“I am,” A gray haired, gravely-voiced man stepped forward. “You need me to point the deer out to you or can you manage to find it on your own?”

“Oh, I’m not shooting the deer,” He had never sunk low enough to murder an innocent animal when his dad wanted him to, he sure as hell wasn’t going to do it for anyone else. “You are.”

“No, I’m not,” Neil crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. “I don’t take orders from you.”

“No. You _**won’t**_ take orders from me,” That was a problem, wasn’t it? “Deran.”

“Yep,” Deran stepped up, taking the rifle Adrian held into his own hands.

“Get the buck in your sights,” Adrian instructed him. “I’ll tell you when to fire.”

It would have been easy to choose Hank or Pope for the task, Hank was a recreational hunter, Pope a well known enforcer for Smurf. They were the easy options, therefore, choosing one would be a show of weakness. Deran was violent, yes, but he wasn’t an executioner, and Adrian had no intention of making him or anyone else one. The exercise wasn’t about violence or murder, it was about following orders, nothing more.

“All right,” Deran trained the gun on over Neil’s shoulder, his index finger hovering over the trigger. “Got him.”

“Good,” Adrian praised his partner. “Lower the gun.”

“Okay,” Deran did as he was told, probably for the first time in their lives, and pointed the gun barrel at the ground. “Anything else?”

“Not now,” Adrian motioned for him to return to his spot beside Pope before he addressed his grandfather. “You can understand why I’m bringing in my own people. Yours won’t take orders from me, not yet, some might never. Those that don’t learn to follow me won’t have a place in the organization when I take over. If that’s going to be a problem, it’s best we settle it now.”

“It’s not going to be a problem,” Kelly assured him, throwing a look of disappointment toward his obstinate men. “Anyone who cannot handle the transition will be dealt with accordingly, as will you if you continue to refuse my orders.”

“You tapped me to take over for you, not be one of your soldiers,” It wasn’t like either of them had the time for Adrian to work his way up from the bottom to earn his place at the top. “I’m here to learn the business and get to know the organization so I’m prepared when you’re ready to step down.”

It wasn’t a challenge or an ultimatum, it was fact, plain and simple. The smart play would have been to shut his mouth and fall in line, but that would’ve been counter-intuitive to what he was trying to do here. He had to push the boundaries with Kelly, act as if he already had some kind of authority, or else the organization would never respect or follow him.

“That’s a good point,” Kelly said approvingly. “But the little crew you’ve put together is another story.”

“They are,” Adrian agreed, dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

“They are going to stay with me today,” Kelly decided, smiling at the group. “I have jobs for them.”

“Which are?” Adrian was pressing his luck with the inquiry, but he had to try.

“Not your concern,” Kelly swiftly shut down the line of questioning. “Your only concern is to attend the doctor’s appointment I have you scheduled for this morning.”

“Doctor’s appointment...” That sounded far more ominous than it might have coming from anyone else. “I appreciate the gesture, but I can make my own appointments.”

“I had a sense that you would be reluctant to make this one, and I wanted to get it done as soon as possible to get the ball rolling,” Kelly said, looking nothing if not delighted by what he had in store for Adrian. “I’ve already contacted a potential surrogate and have found an acceptable egg donor. All that we need now is your sperm.”

“The fuck?” Pope mumbled under his breath.

“I’ll tell you later,” Deran told his brother.

“I, uh….” Adrian faltered. “Um...”

“Pick your battles, son,” His father advised him, voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve got your win for the day. This is the sword you have to fall on.”

“Fuck me,” Adrian wanted to yank out his hair, despising the feeling of being backed into a corner. “Fine.”

“My driver will take you, so you don’t get lost,” Kelly waved a hand in the direction of a younger man leaned against a black SUV. “If you leave now, you’ll make it with time to spare.”

“Great,” Having a driver really put a hitch in his plan to conveniently get stuck in traffic and miss the appointment all together. “I, uh, I guess I should go then.”

“Wait up,” Deran stopped him in his tracks. “I don’t know how long all this is going to take, but there’s new stock coming into the bar this afternoon.”

“I’ll take care of it,” He would pencil that in around everything else he had scheduled for the day. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

With Adrian safely out of the proverbial line of fire, Deran should have felt at ease, instead, he was more anxious than ever. While Adrian was present, there seemed to be a rulebook to follow, etiquette. For all Deran knew, without Adrian, all bets were off.

Hank had been taken further into the forest by Kelly’s second in command without explanation, leaving Deran and Pope alone in the woods, surrounded by security personnel and a mafia don. They were grossly outnumbered by what could very well become a firing squad if they made the wrong move.

“Today, gentlemen, we are going to talk about loyalty,” Kelly started, sounding more like he was about to give them a lecture rather than orders. “I think we can agree that my grandson has shown an unwavering loyalty to you and your family over the course of your friendships.”

“He has,” Pope agreed, choosing once again to respond for the both of them. “Even Smurf sees that now.”

“And yet, that loyalty is not reciprocated, it is a one-way street,” Kelly reprimanded them for their failings. “I know that you were raised to demand everything and give nothing, but that behavior stops here. Adrian has proven his loyalty to you, you will prove yours to him.”

“Okay,” Deran wanted to call bullshit, tell Kelly he was just as loyal to Adrian as Adrian was to him, but that argument would fall on deaf ears. “How are we going to do that?”

“The biggest threat to Adrian while he was in prison was your mother’s hired henchman, Carlos Trujillo,” Kelly spit out the name like it left a dirty taste in his mouth. “As much as I know one of you would love to cut off his smallest appendage and feed it to him as he bleeds out, his death belongs to someone more deserving. There are three other Trujillos that Janine has been making regular payments to, it is your job to eliminate them.”

“Why them?” Deran didn’t give a fuck about a couple of bangers on Smurf’s payroll, he wanted the one who thought he had the right to lay hands on something that belonged to him. “They didn’t touch Adrian. How does fucking them up prove we’re loyal to him?”

“It sends a message,” Pope deduced, following Kelly’s thought process. “You hurt our family, we’ll hurt yours.”

“You hurt my family, I will _annihilate_ yours,” Kelly corrected the elder Cody. “Make no mistake, you will execute Pete, Tina, and Mia Trujillo, or there will be no place for you at Adrian’s side, professionally or personally. If I have to do it myself, people will be caught in the crossfire, namely your inbred nephew who shares a bed with one of them. Is there any part of my instructions that you do not understand or feel you can comply with?”

“No,” Deran swallowed thickly, digesting everything. “We get it.”

“We understand,” Pope seconded his sentiment. “We’ll take care of it.”

“You have until this time Sunday morning,” Kelly checked the time on his watch. “If you get it done in a timely fashion, I’ll have a gift waiting for you.”

* * *

 

The doctor’s appointment had been just as invasive as Adrian imagined it would be, and equally as embarrassing. When it was over, the only thing Adrian wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and scrub his skin raw. Unfortunately, he had more important things that required his attention, one being a breakfast turned lunch meeting with Renn that he’d set up the previous night and didn’t want to miss.

“Sorry I’m late,” He apologized sheepishly as he slid into the diner booth. “It’s been a strange morning.”

“It’s all right,” Renn waved off his tardiness. “I already ordered, but I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”

“Oh, I’m not hungry,” The thought of forcing food down his throat made him want to vomit all over the table. “I can’t stay long. I’ve got to be at the bar soon to receive the new inventory, but, um, I need to ask you something.”

“You mentioned that on the phone,” She reminded him. “What’s going on?”

“Well, uh,” He wasn’t quite sure how to address the subject in a way that wouldn’t piss her off. “First, uh, feel free to tell me to fuck off at any point.”

“Okay…” She chuckled, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Not a great way to start a conversation.”

“Yeah, I know,” Broaching tough topics wasn’t his strong suit. “But you’re, uh, you’re really not going to like what I have to ask you.”

“I think I might know what it is,” Renn said, trying to take some of the pressure ff. “I told your grandfather it was something I would discuss with you, not him.”

“What?” He had a feeling they weren’t on the same page. “What do you think I came to talk about?”

“Your grandpa came by yesterday. He told me about the deal you made with Smurf, my daughter’s safety in exchange for Craig’s debt,” Renn reported, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “He said since you were willing to go to bat for me, I should be open to returning the favor.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Adrian had made that deal to protect a kid’s life from being destroyed by the likes of Smurf. “I don’t know what he asked you to do—“

“He wants me to bear your children.”

“Uh…” He was at a loss for words. “I…you…Huh?”

“He wanted me to be the biological mother of your child, to sign over my rights to it after it was born,” Renn revealed, pausing briefly to let him process. “I told him giving up my flesh and blood was too much to ask.”

“Understandable.”

“Then he asked me if I would be willing to be just the incubator, a surrogate for a baby made from your spunk and someone else’s egg,” Renn continued to detail the conversation she’d had with his grandfather. “He thought you’d be more open to the whole having a kid thing if it was with someone you knew and trusted. I said I’d consider it, but only after talking to you about it.”

“Nothing is going to make me more open to having a kid,” He hated the idea of poisoning an innocent baby with his family’s genes. “Look, you don’t owe me or my family anything. You shouldn’t feel obligated to do this.”

“It’s not about owing you anything. You helped me keep my daughter safe. I want to do this for you, if you’ll have me,” Renn smiled softly. “At least if it’s me, you’ll be able to see things as they progress, it’ll make it real for you. I get the feeling if your grandpa hires someone to do it, you won’t know anything until the baby’s dumped in your lap.”

“You make a good point,” He could prepare better if it was something he could see coming, watch it develop from day-to-day. “If you’re willing to do it, I’m good with it, but you might change your mind about wanting anything to do with me once I ask what I actually came to ask.”

“Which is?”

“Deran and Pope are working with me in my grandfather’s organization. I don’t think it’s something Craig has the right temperament for, but I also don’t want him to feel abandon.” Adrian knew Craig could become cataclysmically destructive if he believed his brothers were intentionally leaving him out of things. “We can’t keep him in the dark, it’ll only end badly, but he can’t be part of the business. The only way to avoid an epic meltdown is to make him believe it’s his choice not to join the organization, to convince him of that, he needs to have a more desirable option to choose instead.”

“A more desirable option,” Renn mulled over the words. “You want me to let him back in.”

“No,” What he had in mind was a bit more insidious than that. “He wants to be in your daughter’s life-- and I’m not asking you to let him. Just tell him what changes he would have to make if he wants you to even consider allowing him in Willa’s life.”

“You want me to keep him busy,” Renn concluded. “By making him jump through hoops.”

“It sounds so bad when you say it out loud,” Adrian grimaced, hating himself for making the suggestion. “It’s just…Craig needs a reason to clean himself up and get better. I can’t think of a better reason than his daughter.”

“I don’t want to see Craig keep going down this road anymore than you do, if he does, he’s going to end up dead, and I don’t want that,” Renn sniveled, grief flickering over her face. “If he got clean, straightened himself out, started taking responsibility for his actions, I think he could be a great dad.”

“So do I,” Despite the obvious substance abuse problems, Craig had always been a good, caring brother, there was no reason to think he couldn’t be a good dad too. “But he’s gotta put in the work to do it.”

“If he put in the work, got clean and showed me he could stay that way, I think I could let him visit with our daughter, get to know her,” Renn laid out the terms Craig would have to follow to earn some of her trust. “Visits only, though, if we’re talking about joint custody—“

“Just visits. Supervised visits,” Anything more than that would take a hell of a lot more work than sobering up on Craig’s part. “I’m meeting Craig at The Drop soon. Would it be okay if I told him all this?”

“Yeah, you can tell him,” Renn sighed, staring out the window over their booth. “I’ll call him later, too, so he and I can talk about it.”

“I’m sorry, Renn,” The last thing Adrian wanted to do was pressure someone into doing something they didn’t want to do, and that’s exactly what he’d just done. “I didn’t mean for you to…-- You can still tell me to go to hell.”

“It’s not you, babe,” She reached across the table, covering his hands with hers. “I know people think I’m keeping Willa from Craig to be a bitch, but that’s not it. I want my daughter to know her father, I just don’t…”

“You don’t want him to break her heart one day.”

* * *

Kelly had made his play with Adrian and the Cody boys in the middle of the woods, but things hadn’t turned out the way he wanted. Hank assumed that’s why he moved things back to the compound for their meeting.

“I could have warned you about Adrian,” Hank said to his father as he sat on the sofa in the living room. “He was never going to hurt that deer for you. He has a moral objection to harming animals.”

“But not humans,” Kelly hummed, filling a tumbler with scotch. “He did shoot you once, didn’t he?”

“Oh yeah,” Hank rubbed the spot on his leg where the scar from that incident lay just beneath his jeans. “In his defense, I was very drunk, calling him a pussy and a little girl, telling him if he didn’t shoot something on that hunting trip, he’d be walking home.”

“So, he shot you,” Kelly grinned, wide and pleased. “I admire his spirit.”

“He’s a good kid,” Hank had no idea how the hell either of his kids had turned out as well as they had, ‘cause it sure as hell wasn’t anything he’d done. “But he’s soft. He doesn’t have the stomach for this business.”

“Correction: he _**was**_ soft,” Kelly smirked. “With the abusive and neglectful upbringing you subjected him to, how do you suppose he held onto that softness as long as he did?”

“Strength of will. Spite,” God knows Hank had tried to beat that softness out of him enough times. “You taught me a soft man wasn’t a man at all. I spent most of his childhood trying to make him a real man, he resisted. He had his own definition of what a man should be.”

“He’s got a mind of his own, rules of his own,” Kelly nodded favorably. “Well, whatever softness he may have retained into adulthood was stripped from him in prison.”

“Stripped from him,” Yeah, that was one way to put it. “You say that like it’s a good thing, like what happened to him in prison was a good thing.”

“It all served a purpose.”

“You sound a lot like Smurf Cody,” Hank was going to need a stiff drink if he had to listen to much more of it. “What do you want with me? You gave Deran and Pope a loyalty test, right? Is that what you’ve got in store for me?”

“You’ve beaten your son to a pulp on more than one occasion, but you are also the one person in his life who has never walked out on him,” Kelly acknowledged thoughtfully. “Your loyalty to him is not being called into question. Your loyalty to me, however, has always been shaky at best.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Being tossed out on the street by his father as a teenager was enough to loosen the deepest ties. “You want me to prove my loyalty to you. How?”

“Keeping secrets is a big part of what we do, some are easier to keep than others, this will not be one of those secrets,” Kelly cautioned, getting comfortable in a nearby armchair. “Specifically, this secret needs to be kept from Adrian. That shouldn’t be difficult for you, you’ve kept plenty of secrets from him over the years, such as the identity of his biological mother.”

“I’ve told Adrian about Caroline,” It might not have all been truth, but it was something. “Not a lot, but enough to stave his curiosity.”

“I believe the name she was using when you were paying for her time was _Cookie_ ,” Kelly snorted at the moniker. “Initially, you told Adrian she left while he was an infant – not necessarily a lie. More recently, you claimed she was the daughter of my associate, with whom I arranged your marriage to.”

“I may have stretched the truth a bit,” Lying to his son about where he came from was one of the only ways Hank had ever protected him. “The full truth wasn’t going to help him any.”

“The full truth being she was nothing more than a common street whore you saw regularly. She gave birth to him in your apartment bathroom, left him in the empty tub for you to find,” Kelly tsked the woman’s irresponsibility and treatment of the newborn. “I am still surprised the paternity test confirmed he was yours.”

“Adrian and I were alone at the trailer when I told him that lie about Caroline being the daughter of one of your associates,” At least Hank had thought they were alone. “Are you having him followed?”

“Of course I am,” Kelly was nothing if not predictable, choosing the path of honesty rather than denial when asked outright of any wrongdoing. “I’ve invested too much time, energy, and money getting Adrian in this position to let an outside influence steer him off course.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why is it, do you think?” Kelly asked him, head cocked to the side in a picture of curiosity. “Why would I put so much effort into getting your son here?”

“You need an heir to your throne and he’s all you’ve got,” Although, Hank was sure they could find a few other bastard Dolan offspring more willing to take up the mantle if they tried hard enough, none of them were ever very careful when it came to spreading their seed. “You don’t have the time to knock some chick up, start from scratch, and groom them to take over.”

“He doesn’t want it, Hank, that’s what makes him the perfect heir,” Kelly gushed over Adrian. “Power he doesn’t want cannot corrupt him. He has never strived to have more than he’s earned, so he won’t put the organization in danger by making questionable dealings based on greed. The Codys involvement will prevent him from walking away from the business, unlike him they are greedy and power hungry, for those reasons they will hold onto the business with both hands, but they cannot have it without him.”

“What does any of this have to do with my loyalty to you?”

“Putting Adrian in play required the use of certain tactics that you might not agree with, he certainly won’t,” Kelly warned him, taking a swig from his glass. “I am going to tell you each step I took to get him here and steps I was willing to take if I thought they were necessary. If you keep this information to yourself, I will not only allow you to remain at Adrian’s side as he learns the ropes of the organization, but I will also guarantee you a prominent and profitable place of your own within it.”

“If I say yes to this,” It seemed like a simple enough request until you looked at the big picture. “The next time you need to push him into a position you think he should be in, am I supposed to keep my mouth shut and look the other way to whatever brutal, manipulative tactics you use to get him there?”

“If I tell you to, yes.”

“And if I say no to all of this?”

“You know the price of disloyalty, being my son doesn’t exempt you from it.” His father’s calculated eyes stared down his nose at him, boring a hole right through him. “Are we continuing this conversation or are you going to tell your son you cannot be a part of this organization with him?”

* * *

 

Receiving the new stock, doing the inventory and other menial tasks around the bar was a nice change of pace for Adrian. He’d been cooped up for so long, he’d forgotten how fulfilling a day’s work could be.

“If you’re hurtin’ for work that badly, I’m sure Tao would hire you back,” Craig said as he sauntered into the office.”That’s gotta be a better option than cleaning up this shithole.”

“I think I’ve skipped out on Tao one too many times for him to ever hire me back,” As much as Adrian had loved working at Real Surf, asking for his job back was a non-starter. “Deran actually keeps the bar pretty clean. This is the only room that could be considered a health code violation.”

“I’ll bet,” Craig huffed, leaning against the doorjam. “You know, Deran doesn’t want me here or near you.”

“Yeah, well, Deran doesn’t dictate who I can and cannot see,” Adrian was his own person who made his own decisions. “Thanks for meeting me here and not at the beach like we originally planned.”

“No problem,” Craig flashed him a grin. “So, what’s going on?”

“Uh, a few things,” There wasn’t really a good place to start. “You know, I got out of jail with the help of my grandfather, right? I agreed to work with him in exchange for a way out of prison.”

“Yeah, I heard that.”

“Well, I asked Deran to work with me there. Pope thought we’d get into too much trouble on our own, and asked to be included,” Adrian was far more comfortable with Pope’s involvement than Deran’s. “I wanted you to know, because I didn’t want you to think we were leaving you out on purpose.”

“Are you?” Craig asked timidly. “You don’t have to lie. I’m not going to implode or anything.”

“Only because it’s a temporary arrangement,” He didn’t want nor need everyone at his disposal to be under his grandfather’s control, temporarily or otherwise. “And you’ve got more important things to worry about.”

“Oh yeah,” Craig shoved is hands in his pocket. “Like what?”

“Your daughter,” At least Adrian hoped she was important enough for Craig to make a change. “I talked to Renn this morning. She doesn’t want her daughter to grow up without her dad.”

“That’s not what she told me,” Craig grumbled irritably. “She thinks I’d be a bad influence.”

“You’re a hardcore drug user, Craig,” Using the phrase ‘bad influence’ in reference to the middle Cody was being generous. “You’re a good person, Craig. You’ve got a good heart, but the coke and the pills make you crazy, that’s why Renn doesn’t want you near Willa. You scare people when you’re high or jonesing.”

“I know that, okay?” Craig glared at him. “She told me as much already.”

“So then you know the first thing you have to do if you want her to consider letting you see Willa is get clean,” There was no wiggle room there, sobriety was non-negotiable. “Is that too much to ask of you or something? You’ve been bitching and moaning about Renn keeping her from you since before she was born, but now you won’t even make the smallest effort for her?”

“I didn’t say that!” Craig snapped. “But I’ve done it before, remember? Getting clean, it never works for me, just like it never worked for Julia.”

“Don’t use Julia as an excuse, she had her own set of problems,” If Adrian had to live in Julia’s head after all she’d been through, he’d probably stick a needle in his arm too. “Getting clean hasn’t worked for you yet, because it was being forced on you by your brothers. It might sound like a bunch of self-help bullshit, but if you want it to stick, you’ve got to want it.”

“And you’re such an expert on the subject, huh?” Craig scoffed. “’Cause you’ve got so much experience with addiction.”

“I know you fucking Codys think you are the only ones on the planet who have been through what you’ve been through—“

“We are,” Craig claimed indignantly. “You know anyone else whose mom put a gun in their hands when they were a little kid and told them to distract a security guard?”

“Smurf fucked you up royally, no doubt,” The Codys had certainly gotten the short end of the stick parent-wise. “And, yeah, I’d bet you started using more than recreationally, because being high made it easier to deal with her constant manipulation, but it stopped being about that a long time ago. Now it’s only about getting high and staying that way.”

“It’s not any different now than it was then,” Craig groused, shaking his head. “Smurf’s the same as she’s always been, worse, actually. Baz is dead and we still don’t know who did it. Deran’s been an asshole…”

“It’s everyone else’s fault, right? Deran does that, blames everyone else for his faults. It’s fine when you’re a kid and don’t know any better, but you’re adults now,” Part of getting older meant accepting responsibility for who you turned out to be. “You guys have to stop using Smurf and the way you were raised to justify your bad habits. Just repress your childhood bullshit like the rest of us and move on with your fucking lives.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask for your shit advice, man,” Craig turned away from him, facing the bar. “And it is shit fucking advice.”

“Grow the hell up, Craig,” If Adrian were a violent person, he might try to knock some sense into the Cody present, and then the ones who weren’t. “Take responsibility for yourself. You want to see your daughter? Kick the junk, clean yourself up, and stop acting like such a spoiled, selfish, angst ridden brat.”

“Fuck, dude, tell me what you really think of me,” Crag muttered, pacing the path between the bar and the office. “You been holding that shit in long?”

“Kind of,” He had different variations of the same conversation to fit each Cody brother, not that he was under the illusion that anything he said would make a damn bit a difference to them. “I want to help you, Craig. You can be better than this. If you want to use Julia’s failure as your excuse to even try, I’d point out that she didn’t have people to help her, you do.”

“What the fuck do you want me to do?” Craig asked, sagging his shoulders, the fight leaving him. “You and Deran gonna take me up to your old man’s hunting cabin to detox me?”

“Oh, hell no,” Adrian wasn’t going through that shit again. “It wasn’t as bad then as it is now. If we tried to cold turkey you, your heart could give out.”

“Rehab,” Craig cringed, running a hand through his hair. “Mom always dumped Julia in places like that.”

“And she never let you guys visit,” Julia had to face her demons alone. “It wouldn’t be like that for you. No one would abandon you.”

“Deran would. He already has,” Craig murmured sullenly. “I took care of him his entire goddamn life, put up with all his drama.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, bro.”

“He’s just tossing me out like a piece of trash.”

“He’s pissed, but he’ll get over it,” Deran couldn’t stay mad forever, but he’d give it a good old college try. “I’ll fix things there, it might take a minute, but I’ll get him there.”

“You’ve got a lot of faith in yourself,” Craig remarked as the front entrance door swung open, ricocheting off the wall. “Fuck. Is he here? Is that him? If he sees me here—“

“Deran would have texted me to see if I wanted him to pick up something to eat on the way over,” And Adrian’s phone had been silent all day. “Hey! Whoever you are, we’re closed!”

“Oh, baby,” An all too familiar voice echoed through the bar. “That’s no way to greet an old friend.”

Adrian’s stomach dropped as he matched the gruff voice to a face and roaming, unwelcome, violating, hands. As the recognizable plod of footsteps approached the office, Adrian reached for the nearest weapon he could find, a hammer sitting on a nearby shelf.

“Adrian?” Craig called out to him, sounding much further away than the few feet he really was. “You okay, man?”

“Well, look who it is,” The intruder appeared in the doorway of the office, looking just as smug and sadistic as Adrian remembered. “They told me I might find you here, Cody-bait, but I didn’t think you’d make it so easy.”

“Hey, man, we’re closed,” Craig placed himself between Adrian and the other man. “I don’t know who the hell you are—“

“Carlos Trujillo,” The stranger introduced himself. “Cody-bait and I got to know each other very well when we were inside together.”

“Craig, get out of the way,” Adrian gripped the hammer tightly as he urged his friend back. “Y-You need to go. Get out of here.”

“Not a fucking chance.”

* * *

 

“I get the feeling you’ve done this before,” Deran mentioned, scoping out the automotive garage the Trujillos operated out of. “You look into them before?”

“Yeah, when the one screwing J made herself at home at Smurf’s,” Pope divulged, rolling the driver side window down to get some fresh air. “I know the layout already. We need to pick a day when they’re all on shift, come after closing to take care of them.”

“They’re all here today,” Deran could see one through the window of the receptions office, and the other two servicing vehicles in the garage. “I don’t think J’s going to appreciate us taking out his girlfriend.”

“He needs better taste in girlfriends,” Pope remarked coldly. “If you’re going to be with someone in the life, you accept the possibility of something like this happening.”

“That’s grim,” And felt a little like a warning. “You trying to tell me something?”

“Nothing you didn’t already know,” Pope shrugged. “What was that shit Kelly was saying about Adrian’s, uh…”

“Sperm?” Deran grimaced around the word. “The Dolan family must carry on.”

“His sister’s kid doesn’t count?”

“They need a back-up in case he doesn’t work out,” There was no way to make it sound more appealing. “Adrian tried to negotiate his way out of it, but Kelly made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“Must have been one hell of an offer,” Pope determined, shaking his head. “And you’re okay with it?”

“I’m more okay with it than he is,” Deran had a feeling Adrian would be against the idea up until the kid was born, then would change his tune. “For me it’s more about what Kelly will do if I’m not on board with his plans for Adrian. If I’m resistant, he’ll push us apart, and it’s taken us too long to get here.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Pope acknowledged. “Adrian’s never gone along with what Smurf wanted, but hasn’t let her drop-kick him out of your life. You just need to grow a pair of balls.”

“Oh, okay,” Deran chuckled. “You know, it’s fucked up, but I’m kind of enjoying this, our family not being the screwed up one.”

“Adrian’s family has always been screwed up, Deran,” Pope pointed out. “If you can actually recognize that someone besides you has problems, maybe that means you’re becoming less self-involved.”

“And people say I haven’t made an effort to change,” Well, it was less effort, more something that happened gradually. “So, are you okay with this? Executing people for someone we barely know?”

“What did you think it was going to be like to work for someone like Kelly Dolan?” Pope asked, peering at him out of the corner of his eye. “Did you think we were just going to pull heists, like with Smurf? These people aren’t thieves, they’re gun runners. Things are going to get bloody, Deran, there’s no way around it.”

“I know,” It just felt worse when it was a premeditated act. “When Smurf wanted us to deal with Javi, I was worried about getting caught and going to jail.“

“We’re not going to get caught,” Pope said confidently. “If there’s anything we learned from how the cops dealt with Baz’s murder, it’s that they don’t give a fuck if a couple of cons get taken out. They won’t waste their time doing any real investigating.”

“What about retaliation?” Deran didn’t know much about the Trujillos set up, but he could guarantee it was made up of more than three people. “Someone’s going to come looking for payback.”

“I’ll talk to Kelly about it. He’s got to have a plan in place for that. We’re no use to him if we get killed,” Pope reasoned as his cellphone began vibrating in the center console.

“Who is it?”

“Craig,” Pope read the name off the caller ID and brought the device to his ear. “What do you want?”

“ _You need to get to The Drop, now.”_

“Why?” Pope questioned as he turned the key in the ignition. “What’s going on?”

“ _Can’t say over the phone. Just get here, okay? We need help.”_

“I’m on my way.”

* * *

 

The last time Craig was involved in transporting a dead body, it was a two-decade old pile of bones that Smurf had been responsible for putting into the ground. This time Craig had a full grown man, skin, muscle, fat and all, that he had to get to a vehicle on his own. There was no drilling into cemented this time around, or a need for a ruse to keep the neighbors from getting suspicious, he just had to pull Deran’s van up to the back door and get the corpse from point A to point B.

“Heavy son of a bitch, aren’t you?” Craig grunted, dropping the body into the back of the van and slamming the vehicle doors closed only to come face-to-face with his brothers. “Jesus. Fuck. You got here fast.”

“You said you needed help.” Pope reminded him, scanning the area for potential threats. “What happened?”

“What’d you put in my van?” Deran asked, reaching for the door handle to pull it open. “What the fuck did you do now?”

“It wasn’t me,” Craig was nothing but a bystander. “I was, uh, just getting rid of the body.”

“What body?” Deran questioned, yanking his hand away from the van like he’d been burned. “Whose body?”

“Some asshole name Trujillo,” Craig had been more focused on Adrian’s reaction to the guy than the guy himself. “He was with Adrian in prison.”

“What happened?” Pope inquired, wrapping his fingers around Deran’s bicep to prevent him from rushing inside. “How’d he end up dead?”

“He came in looking for Adrian, said he and Adrian got real close inside,” Craig had read between the lines, just as his brothers were doing now. “He said a lot of things, actually. Adrian, man, he just…shut him up.”

“Bullshit,” Deran spit at his brother. “Adrian’s not a killer.”

“He whacked guy upside the head with a hammer half a dozen times,” Not that Craig would judge or blame him for it. “Dude was asking for it with all the shit he was saying. If you were here, you would have done the same thing or worse.”

“Adrian’s not me,” Deran snarled at his brother. “He’s not like us.”

“He’s human,” If there was one thing life had taught them all, it was that anyone was capable of violence. “The asshole came looking to start something, Adrian ended it.”

“The guy is dead, that’s all that matters,” Pope interjected, focusing on what was important. “Where are you planning to take him?”

“I don’t fucking know,” It’s not like Craig had a designated spot to dump a body. “That’s why I called you.”

“All right. You and me, we’ll take care of this,” Pope decided, smacking his hand against the van door. “Deran, you stay with Adrian. He’s still here, right?”

“He’s in the office.”

* * *

 

The blood wasn’t coming out of the carpet no matter how hard Adrian scrubbed or what he scrubbed with. It was a useless endeavor, but he kept at it, only scrubbing harder when Deran knelt beside him with a soapy sponge of his own.

“This isn’t going to work,” Deran sighed, moving the sponge across the floor. “I’ll have to tear up the carpet.”

“We have to get this cleaned up before opening,” They only had a few hours to get the bar back in order. “Closing for the night would be suspicious if anyone saw Trujillo come in and never saw him leave.”

“We can still open the bar,” Deran said, tossing his barely-used sponge into a bucket of water, giving up on the task in record time. “No one comes back here but me, usually.”

“The longer we leave it, the more likely it is someone will stumble in here and see it,” Adrian wouldn’t take that kind of risk with Deran’s place of business. “We need to get the carpet out of here, see if the cement is stained too.”

“We’ll get it done,” Deran remained on his knees beside him. “Craig told me what happened, his version of it, anyway.”

“There’s no version of it,” There was one story, one truth. “What happened, happened. It’s done.”

“What was Craig even doing here?” Deran asked, sitting back on his haunches. “I told him to stay away.”

“I asked him to meet me,” There was nothing malicious about that. “What are you more pissed about, your brother being here or the dead guy in your van?”

“I’m not—“ Deran made a noise of frustration in the back of his throat. “I’m not mad.”

“That’d be a first.”

“The guy in my van was Smurf’s guy on the inside,” Deran went over the facts he already had. “How did he get out of prison?”

“Same way I did. Pearce was the lead detective on his original case,” More of Adrian’s good luck at work. “When word got out that Pearce could be dirty, all of his cases were reexamined. If the DA couldn’t prove guilt without Pearce’s testimony or evidence he’d gathered, the charges were dropped, convictions overturned, defendants released.”

“And Trujillo’s first stop after being released was to see you,” Deran carefully kept his voice even, void of accusation. “How did he even know you would be here?”

“I didn’t even know I was going to be here until this morning,” Adrian’s original plans for the day involved meeting Renn at the diner and Craig at the beach, then going home. “One of Kelly’s men must have overheard you telling me about the new stock.”

“I knew we couldn’t trust them.”

“No one ever told you to trust them,” Adrian sure as hell didn’t. “He found out I was here, he showed up. That’s it.”

“That’s not it,” Deran wasn’t going to accept anything less than the full story. “He didn’t just show up and drop dead.”

“He said he’d come to see me, but he hoped to find you. He wanted to tell you everything that happened between us, how close we got inside,” Trujillo’s words, not Adrian’s. “I tried to get Craig to leave before Trujillo started going into detail or saw Craig as a threat and tried to hurt him, but Craig wouldn’t go. He got in Trujillo’s face, to give him a beat down or throw him out.”

“Beat down,” Deran made an educated guess. “He would have told you to leave and handled it himself.”

“It wasn’t his to handle,” Adrian hadn’t been 100% in a long time, but he was still capable of protecting himself. He didn’t need a Cody to save him. “I want to tell you I wasn’t thinking, that I blacked out and the next thing I knew he was dead on the floor and I was holding a hammer soaked in blood, but that’s not what happened.”

“How did it happen?”

“I picked up the hammer before I even saw him,” As soon as he’d heard that voice, he knew how the impending confrontation would end. “I imagined killing him so many times when I was locked up. I never thought I’d enjoy it – and I didn’t, but it…it didn’t feel like it did with Colby. With Colby, it has been guilt and sadness that won’t go away. With Trujillo it’s…relief, catharsis.”

“You killed Colby,” Deran stilled his movements. “Your dad tried to tell me when you were in the hospital, but I didn’t believe him.”

“He was going to flip on you and Craig. You would’ve gone to jail, I wasn’t going to let that happen.” Adrian had done the one thing he could to protect them. “I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen. What else could I do?”

“You could have told me what was going on,” Deran retorted critically. “I was the one he wanted to hurt. You should have let me take care of it.”

“If you had been here today when Trujillo showed up, if you had been here instead of me, would you have called me and let me handle it?” Adrian discarded the rag he’d been scrubbing with into the bucket and climbed to his feet. “No. You would have dealt with him yourself and never even told me about it.”

“Would you have told me about this if it hadn’t happened here?” Deran motioned to the pool of blood on the floor. “Were you ever going to tell me about Colby?”

“I don’t know,” It wasn’t the answer either of them wanted, but it was the only one Adrian had. “I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you about Colby, but I didn’t know how to say it or how you would react. There’s a lot I’m not sure how to say anymore, Deran.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us,” Deran murmured, wiping sweat from his brow. “Look, I’ll take care of this, okay? You should go home.”

“I did this, Deran, it’s my mess,” It was his responsibility, he wouldn’t leave it to someone else. “I’ll clean it up. I’ll have it spotless before opening. It’ll be like it never happened.”

“It’s my bar, my office, I will take care of it,” Deran put his foot down, tone firm, full of authority. “You’ve done enough here. Just go home.”

* * *

 

As much as Craig had wanted to be the one to help Adrian out and maybe earn some favor with Deran in the process, he was happy to have the dead body off his hands. Pope had taken control of the situation, something he’d been doing a lot of lately, and now Craig was just a passenger along for the ride, figuratively and literally. He wasn’t sure where they were going, but he trusted his brother to know what to do.

“You all right?” Pope asked, trying to sound casual. “What happened at the bar, it couldn’t have been easy to watch.”

“I’m fine,” It’s not like he hadn’t seen brutal shit before. “Pretty sure Deran’s going to find a way to blame me for all of it.”

“You always babied Deran, in a different way than Smurf did. You let him get away with everything. You took care of him,” Pope acknowledged, fingers flexing on the steering wheel. “He knows that no matter how angry he gets, what he does or says to you, you will always forgive him, welcome him back with open arms.”

“Too bad it’s not a two-way street,” Craig muttered, clenching his fists. “He’s like that with everyone. He can fuck up as much as he wants, but one of us takes a step out of line and he hops up on his high horse.”

“That’s the Smurf in him,” Pope noted curtly. “Cut him off. He says he doesn’t want you around, give him what he wants. He’ll come back to you if he thinks you’re done with him.”

“Staying away should be easy,” Craig wasn’t going to be around for awhile. “I think I, uh, I think I want to go to rehab.”

“You think?” Pope quirked a brow. “What brought that on?”

“I want to know my kid,” He wanted to be part of her life, to watch her grow up. “I gotta be drug-free for that.”

“Is that what you want or a stipulation from Renn?”

“Does it matter?”

“If you’re doing it because someone else wants you to, it’s never going to work. We learned that from Julia,” Pope’s voice cracked around his sister’s name. “If you’re doing it because you never want your daughter to see you strung out or OD’ing on the floor—“

“I want to be better for her. I need to be better for her,” Craig hadn’t wanted a lot in his life beyond a fix, but he wanted his kid. “I can be a good dad, Pope. I know I can.”

“I believe you.”

“You do?” No one had ever believed in him before. “When we talked about it before, you said none of us should have kids.”

“We shouldn’t. It’s not fair to them with our lives the way they are,” Pope clarified an old statement. “It had nothing to do with what kind of parent I think you’d be.”

“Oh,” A smile tugged at Craig’s lips. “You mean it, though? You think I’d be a good at the dad shit?”

“If you’re serious about getting clean,” Pope gave him a vote of confidence. “And you better be, because this family can’t take another loss, and the way you’ve been going the last few years…”

“I know,” He’d been hitting the junk a lot harder than he ever had. “I’ve never done the rehab thing. You guys dragged me up to the Dolan’s cabin two or three times to detox, but rehab was a Julia-only thing.”

“Smurf dumped Julia in rehab to get rid of her for awhile. It was never about sobering her up,” Pope said through gritted teeth. “Smurf never saw your drug use as a problem. You could have OD’d right beside her and she would have written it off as an accident.”

“If I went to one of those rehab places,” ‘If’ was becoming more of a ‘when’ with every passing second. “Would you come around once in awhile?”

“I’ll visit you,” Pope promised him. “Deran will too, once he pulls his head out of his ass.”

“Maybe,” Craig wouldn’t hold his breath. “So where the hell are we going? Why are you taking us downtown? We dropping this guy off in an alleyway or something?”

“We’re taking him to the desert,” Pope steered the van into a vacant parking lot. “I’ve got to do something first.”

“You shittin’ me?” Craig gaped at him. “You want a pit stop while we got a body in the back?”

“I’ve got a job to do for Kelly Dolan. Deran’s supposed to do it with me, but I don’t want to involve him if I don’t have to.” Pope put the van in park and took off his seatbelt. “We’re going to wait until the garage down the block closes, then you are going to stay here with the van while I do the job. I’ll call you when I need you to pull the van around to the garage. You got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

* * *

 

Adrian wasn’t an idiot, he knew when Deran had dismissed him the home he’d been referring to was their shared house. Without a vehicle to get there, he’d just have to forgive Adrian for not hoofing it all the way out there when there were closer options. He could have gone to his sister’s, but instead found himself at his family trailer.

His dad’s pick-up truck was parked cockeyed outside the motorhome, empty beer cans scattered in the dirt beneath the driver side door. Adrian gathered up the cans, just as he’d done plenty of times in the past, and tossed them into a black garbage bag tied to the awning pole. He took a steadying breath and yanked open the trailer door, stepping inside to be greeted with a scene from his childhood.

Hank was sprawled out on the couch, a fresh can of Budweiser in his hand, and a pensive expression on his face. Adrian should have been disappointed to see his father had fallen off the wagon, but it was bound to happen eventually.

“I’m glad I didn’t use you as an example of sobriety when I was talking to Craig about rehab,” Adrian commented, shoving his dad’s legs out of the way to free up a spot for himself on the sofa. “There a reason at least or did you just get bored and decide to have a drink?”

“Caroline, your mother,” Hank grunted, scuffing his shoes on the floor. “She wasn’t what I said she was.”

“I’m shocked,” Adrian deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “You tell me a different story every couple of years during a sober spell.”

“She was a prostitute,” Hank confessed, bowing his head. “She didn’t care about you or me. She just wanted money.”

“A prostitute this time, huh?” Adrian was inclined to believe him, if only because Hank leaned more toward truth after he had a few. “That actually sounds right.”

“I’m the only one who ever cared about you,” Hank said proudly, as if it were some kind of accomplishment. “My old man said it, I’m the only one who’s never turned you away.”

“That’s true,” Oddly enough, he found that comforting. “That’s always gone both ways. When I chose to live out of my car in high school, I still came around to make sure you hadn’t died.”

“Yes, you did,” Hank nodded, patting Adrian’s knee. “What, uh, w-what would you say was the worst thing I ever did to you?”

“Sending me to that gay conversion camp comes to mind,” Adrian could forgive the beatings, but would be forever bitter over that goddamn camp. “That was low, even for you.”

“Yeah…yeah, it was,” Hank admitted, tracing patterns in the condensation on his beer can. “You burnt that place down.”

“The cops couldn’t prove that and neither can you,” Desperate times had called for desperate measures, but not sloppy ones, there was no evidence to tie anything back to him. “No one got hurt. The fire alarm was pulled before the place went up in flames.”

“Almost every time you’ve ended up in lockup, it’s because you were turned in or set up.”

“I’ve only ever been turned in once, when Smurf found out Deran and me were boosting cars behind her back. To the best of my knowledge, I’ve never been set up. I have fucked myself over a few times, though,” Adrian was actually a much better criminal than he got credit for, but he still made mistakes that he paid for. “School security caught me dealing out of my locker during a drug sweep once. An undercover picked me up for solicitation a time or two. I might as well have called the cops myself for that assault and battery thing at graduation, did it in full view of hundreds of witnesses with cameras, but it was well worth it, I’d repeat that performance in a heartbeat.”

“You’ve been set up,” Hank corrected. “Your dear grandfather gave you a helping hand to prison.”

“You know, Hank, I’ve already had a really bad day,” The longer it went on, the worse it seemed to get, but he figured nothing could beat what went down at The Drop. “I’m not in the mood to be dicked around. If you got something say, say it.”

“Kelly tipped off airport security about your loaded board,” Hank offered him the short and simple of it. “Paid off the chief of police to make sure Pearce landed you case.”

“Huh.” That was pretty much the least surprising thing Adrian had heard all day. “You know that, how?”

“He told me,” Hank replied. “He wanted to see if I could be more loyal to him than I am to you.”

“What does telling me prove?”

“That I chose you.”

“Huh,” Less surprising than it probably should have been. “Sure that’s not the booze talking?”

“Uh,” Hank thought about it for a moment. “Pretty sure, yeah.”

“Huh,” On a less eventful day, that might have made him feel all warm and gooey inside. “What’s Kelly going to do if he finds out you told me?”

“He probably already knows,” Hank batted at the curtain covering the window over the couch. “He’s having you followed.”

“Of course he is.”

* * *

 

The Drop was open for customers and at full capacity when Pope returned from the desert. He slipped into the office to see how the in-house clean up had gone, but it was long over by the time he arrived. Deran was sitting in his desk chair, smoking a cigarette and staring at the red stain on the cement.

“Definitely gonna have to buy the building now,” Deran mumbled, taking a drag from the cigarette. “Where’s Craig?”

“Dropped him off with Renn,” That was after they’d spent the afternoon burying bodies. “Where’s Adrian?”

“Sent him home. He didn’t need to be here scrubbing up blood or ripping up carpet,” Deran flicked cigarette ash onto the floor. “I don’t even know if that Trujillo’s blood or Ox’s staining my floor. Fuck. Maybe’s it’s both.”

“Maybe it is.”

“Did everyone know but me?” Deran asked, gazing up at him. “About Colby. Did everyone know it was Adrian?”

“Yeah, we did,” Even if Adrian hadn’t confessed to him at the hospital, it wouldn’t have been hard for Pope to connect the dots. “If you didn’t see it, it’s because you didn’t want to.”

“You’re right about that,” Deran said scornfully. “I didn’t want to see that Adrian could do something like that.”

“Could protect you?” In Pope’s opinion, that was exactly what had happened. “That can’t be too much of a shock, he’s been doing it since you were little kids.”

“Beating up schoolyard bullies or sleeping on my bedroom floor to keep Smurf away is not the same thing,” Deran argued, shaking his head. “He never should have had to do something like that for me.”

“Would you have done it for him?”

“That’s different,” Deran claimed with a scowl. “Adrian and me, we’re different. We’re not built to handle the same things.”

“You were raised in different households, but you were still raised together,” The close proximity, their bond, the years they shared, it left a mark on nearly every aspect of their lives. “You bled into each other.”

“What?”

“Think about how you were with Jess while Adrian was away. You looked in on her, doted on her kid,” It was a sweet and all, but the exact opposite of how he conducted himself with their own family. “You took extra care with her, because that’s how you saw Adrian care for her, her entire life.”

“We picked up behaviors from each other,” Deran was starting to catch on to what Pope was getting at. “So, you’re saying it’s my fault he killed someone? He picked up that behavior from me?”

“What I’m saying is, he learned the same way you did,” The same way they all had, really. “Protect what’s yours at any cost. We all learned that, and not just from Smurf. It was drilled into all of us. It’s something we’re all capable of.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have been,” Deran snapped, snubbing out the cigarette. “He’s supposed to be better than that.”

“He was in a no-win situation, Deran. If he’d let Colby live, you and Craig would have gone to jail for fuck knows how long, and we all would have taken his lack of action as betrayal,” If Colby had lived, Adrian certainly wouldn’t have, Smurf would have had him executed for not protecting Deran. “He stepped up to save your ass, our brother, and your side piece. And you decide, what, he’s not good enough for you anymore?”

“I didn’t say that!” Deran snarled, glaring at him. “I didn’t say that. I just…he’s not supposed to be…to do…things like that.”

“He’s not supposed to protect someone he cares about or himself?” That was a dangerous way of thinking, not to mention hypocritical. “What exactly would you have liked him to do, Deran?”

“He should have waited for me!” Deran shouted. “He should have let me handle it instead of doing it himself.”

“Why? Because it makes you feel like less of a man to have your boyfriend take care of business?” If that were the case, Pope might actually have to beat some common sense into his little brother. “You like it better when he’s docile. You do whatever you want and he’s supposed to let you.”

“No!” Deran denied the accusation. “That’s not—“

“Adrian’s supposed to be passive. Any overt signs of a backbone, you start to think maybe he’s the real man in your relationship, and you can’t have that,” Oh yeah, Pope was definitely understanding things now. “And with Craig, so long as he’s a strung out fuck up, you can act all high and mighty, believe you’re the responsible one. But if he gets clean, puts his life back together, he just might one-up you and toss you off the throne you’ve perched yourself on.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“No, little brother, it’s truth. And, you know, I don’t know when you developed this superiority complex or why you think you have the right to pass judgment on the rest of us,” Pope didn’t know _when_ it happened, but he was sure it was Smurf who’d instilled it in him. “But if you don’t drop the bullshit, all you’re going to have left is an empty house and a dive bar. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Deran sighed, hunching his shoulders. “That’s not what I want.”

“Then get it the fuck together,” Pope instructed his brother. “Craig’s had enough of you for the foreseeable future, so I guess you’re starting with Adrian.”

“I told him to go home.”

“Then go home, Deran.”

* * *

 

Standing alone in the living room of his empty home, Hank Dolan’s words from the hospital, “ _I’m who he’ll turn to,_ ” and, “ _I’m the one place you wouldn’t look for him_ ,” echoed in Deran’s ears. What little clarity and rationality his conversation with Pope left him with vanished. His ever present anger reared its ugly head, had him slamming out of the house and back into the van.

The good news was, by the time he made it to the Dolan trailer, he wasn’t upset about Adrian having committed murder anymore. The bad news: he was fucking furious that Adrian would go to his father of all people. It certainly didn’t improve his mood to see Adrian just chilling in a lawn chair outside the trailer, a beer in one hand, a lit joint in the other.

“What the hell are you doing here?” There better had been a damn good reason to choose a hellhole over their multi-million dollar house. “I told you to go home.”

“You didn’t specify which home,” Adrian said calmly. “I was on foot, this place was closer than ours.”

“You could have called an Uber or a cab, something,” It wasn’t Deran’s fault he’d chosen to walk. “Why do you keep coming here? Do you enjoy letting your dad jerk you around?”

“Not particularly,” Adrian drawled, sipping his beer. “But it is one of the consistent parts of my life.”

“Consistent, yeah. He dries out, starts sharing family history to pull you close, and you let him sink his hooks into your every time,” It was a pattern Deran had seen repeated several times over. “He’ll start drinking again and pull the rug out from under you.”

“You’re confusing me and Hank with you and Smurf.”

“This has nothing to do with Smurf.”

“She gives you a gift, money or praise, to get back on your good side. You know she’s manipulating you, but you just can’t help but wonder if this time is different,” Adrian tilted his head up to meet Deran’s eyes. “Just when you’re starting to believe she might actually love you, she shows her cards, demands what she wants in return for her kindness, and you realize she was conning you, again.”

“Don’t make this about me,” Deran’s problems with Smurf weren’t the issue here. “I’m not the one running home to daddy whenever he’s the least bit sober so I can lap up whatever family secrets he decides to share.”

“Hank doesn’t share secrets or family history. The man’s spent 90% of his life blackout drunk. He can’t remember his own birthday, let alone family history,” Adrian scoffed, glancing over his shoulder at the open trailer door. “He cooks up a pretty fantasy to fill in all the blanks in his mind. It changes every time he goes a couple days without a stiff drink.”

“You know it’s all a lie,” The made it so much worse. “But you are always so eager to hear it.”

“I let him speak. I listen. He and I are both aware I don’t believe a word coming out of his mouth. It’s a little game we play,” Adrian laughed mirthlessly. “And when we’ve come full circle and he’s had that drink, I don’t whine about it. I get on with my goddamn day.”

“Right,” Deran snorted derisively. “It’s that simple for you.”

“Yeah, well, not everybody is as sensitive as you,” Adrian shot back, an ugly smirk playing on his lips. “I don’t need to curl up in someone’s lap and cry about every single thing my family’s done to piss me off on any given day.”

“Fuck you!” Deran’s cheeks flushed red. “Fuck you.”

“If I did need to talk through it or cry it out, it’s not like I could do it with you, you wouldn’t let me,” Adrian was deceptively stoic as he tried to pass the accusation of as hard fact. “You’d tell me that your family is worse and walk away.”

“I listen.”

“No, you don’t,” Adrian frowned. “I told you why I came here, instead of _**listening**_ , you decided that I was committing some kind of capitol offense.”

“Well, I…” He had listened, he just hadn’t accepted Adrian’s answer, which wasn’t exactly a good defense to use. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Why don’t you just tell me what you’re really mad about?” Adrian gave him a chance to say his piece. “Is it because of Colby or Tru—“

“No. No, it’s not that,” Deran’s talk with Pope had helped him begin to come to terms with it and understand. “I wasn’t mad that you did it, it’s that you had to do it.”

“If you’re not upset about that, why are you mad at me?”

“I told you to go home,” Admittedly, it’d been a mistake to phrase it as an order. “You weren’t at home.”

“And I already told you why,” Adrian pointed out. “I don’t know what else I can say.”

“You weren’t at home,” For whatever reason, Deran couldn’t let that go. “I went home and the place was empty. You weren’t there. You were gone.”

“I should have texted you to let you know where I’d be. I’m sorry,” Adrian apologized, holding his beer out to him like an olive branch. “You could have called or texted me to ask where I was instead of fearing the worst and driving out here to pick a fight.”

“I’m sorry,” As it turned out, they were both in the wrong. “I was worried too, I guess. You seemed okay after what happened at the bar. Too okay.”

“A lot of that was probably adrenaline, but I’m still okay, Deran,” Adrian assured him. “Although, I did pop a couple of whatever the hell was in my dad’s prescription bottles inside. Anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, whatever, I didn’t really read the labels. So at the current moment, it’s more of a medically induced calm than natural.”

“Uh, okay,” That was not at all reassuring. “You ready to get the hell out of here? Go home?”

“Not yet,” Adrian put out the joint on the arm of chair. “I have one more stop to make. I only stuck around here to make sure Hank didn’t pass out and choke on his own vomit. And I thought you might come around when you saw I wasn’t home, I didn’t want you to go banging on my sister’s door next if I wasn’t here.”

“Want me to drive you?”

“I’ll take Hank’s truck,” Adrian got to his feet. “Kelly and I need to do this one-on-one.”

* * *

 

Kelly Dolan’s compound was as much a show of his excessive wealth as the armed guards patrolling the property were a show of power. Everything about the place from the antique furniture to the art on the walls was meticulously chosen and placed to intimidate and overwhelm. Luckily, Pope wasn’t that easy to wow.

“You are a very efficient young man,” Kelly praised him while they sat together in his home office. “I did not expect same-day service.”

“I don’t like wasting time,” Pope’s prior knowledge of the Trujillos and their place of business allowed him to complete the task in a timely fashion. “Do we need to be worried about retaliation?”

“No, I have people to deal with that sort of thing,” Kelly denied any reason to be concerned. “For future reference, I’d advise you to pose those questions prior to accepting an assignment.”

“Should I expect more assignments like this one?”

“That is up to Adrian,” Kelly acknowledged, shuffling papers around on his desk. “You’ve passed my test. You officially work for Adrian now. You answer to him. He hands out your assignments going forward.”

“All right,” With Adrian in charge, Pope doubted he would be getting his hands dirty much. “So, there’s nothing else you’ll need from me?”

“I do have one question for you,” Kelly leaned forward, smiling like the Cheshire cat. “How does it feel to know you have finally avenged your adoptive brother’s death?”

“What?” Pope tensed at the mention of Baz. “What are you talking about?”

“When Barry was murdered, I’d hoped it wasn’t an isolated incident,” Kelly admitted, drumming his fingers on the desktop. “If there was a threat against your entire family, if Deran was in danger, I could go to Adrian, offer to bring Deran under my protection.”

“But only if Adrian agreed to join your organization,” Pope could put two and two together. “You must have been disappointed to learn Smurf was behind it all.”

“I was, yes. Disappointed but not surprised,” Kelly clucked his tongue. “However, I did not trace Janine to the shooter, rather the shooter’s identity led me back to Janine.”

“You implied it was one of the Trujillos,” One of the bodies Pope had dropped earlier in the day had been responsible for his brother’s murder. “Which one?”

“The young woman, Mia,” Kelly handed a file folder over to him. “Your nephew, Joshua, was making large, cash payments to her. It is unclear if he was aware of what he was paying for.”

“It’s not unclear to me,” Pope murmured, opening the folder to find photographs of J handing off envelopes to Mia, taken from a distance. “This is the gift you were talking about this morning.”

“It is,” Kelly nodded. “I take care of my people.”

“Mr. Dolan,” One of the security personnel stuck his head into the office. “Your grandson is here, he would like a word.”

“Mr. Cody and I are finished. You may show him out,” Kelly dismissed Pope with a flick of his wrist. “Send my grandson in.”

* * *

 

In the short time Adrian had been working for his grandfather’s organization, he’d learned how he would have to conduct himself if he wanted to get anywhere. Confident but not cocky, respectful but not obedient. Most importantly, he had to be able to hold his own, especially with the boss.

“Hank relapsed,” Adrian informed his grandfather as he made himself at home in the office, pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniel’s from liquor cabinet in the corner. “I thought you should know.”

“Well, it was only a matter of time,” Kelly couldn’t be bothered to feign shock. “Your father has always had such a weak disposition. Takes after his mother.”

“Sure,” He’d have to take his grandfather’s word for it, seeing as that was the first he’d ever heard of his grandmother. “You have men following me, you must know Hank told me what you did.”

“I only capitalized on the job you pulled with Craig Cody,” Kelly confessed without shame or guilt. “It was just a few phone calls, money transfers, a well placed threat here and there.”

“You went through an awful lot of trouble to get me here,” It was almost flattering to be worth that kind of effort. “You made a mistake, though.”

“How so?”

“You kept it from me when you should have been straightforward when I got out of prison,” There could never be even a sliver of trust with that kind of secret between them. “The only way this works is with honesty.”

“You put a lot of stock in honesty,” Kelly noted. “It’s a little idealistic, don’t you think?”

“I’m surrounded by enough liars,” Honesty was hard to come by in his small circle of family and friends, he had to take it where he could get it. “You are in luck, though, because I’ve got a bad habit of giving second chances to people who don’t deserve them. But let me be clear on one thing, you lie to me again, I will set your organization on fire and this ugly ass house along with it.”

“There’s no need to make it personal by insulting my home,” Kelly chastised him. “I designed it myself.”

“From now on, you don’t try to manipulate me and I won’t try to manipulate you,” It should have been common courtesy, but now it would be part of their contractual agreement if their partnership was to continue. “That sounds fair to me. Does it sound fair to you?”

“It does.”

“In the interest of your newfound honesty, I have something to ask you,” There was a specific question Adrian was sure he knew the answer to, but needed to ask anyway. “Did you send Carlos Trujillo my way today?”

“I did,” Kelly confirmed his suspicions. “I told him where he could find you.”

“Okay,” Adrian exhaled slowly, filing the information away for later. “Did you get the outcome you were hoping for?”

“Oh yes. In fact, you exceeded my expectations,” Kelly declared proudly, a wide grin splitting across his face. “Now that you’ve slain your demon, you can move on.”

“He wasn’t a demon,” Demons were fictional beings created to frighten people, and Adrian wasn’t afraid any longer. “He wasn’t even a man. He was a weapon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: A family dinner is brings the Dolan and Cody families together, Smurf included.


	8. relations, creation, incarceration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Chapter title comes from: [Let the Drummer Kick by Citizen Cope](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8DAHYmXWeM)  
> Gif sets: [Affair](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/183824327316/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-affair-weve-been)

The blood stained cement floor of Deran’s office had been a thorn in his goddamn side the whole time it had been visible. For weeks after the incident, Adrian would come in with a new cleaning solution to scrub at the stain until his hand bled. It was only after they both nearly passed out from the mixture of chemicals that Deran finally had enough and put a new carpet down. The practice of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ might not have been the healthiest, but it worked for him.

“Knock, knock,” A feminine voice called from the hall. “I’m coming in, so you better not have some piece of ass in there.”

“It’s clear!” Deran shouted over the noisy crowd out in the bar area. “Come on in.”

“Better be clear,” Renn quipped, stepping in from behind the door. “Craig told me what you got up to in here while Adrian was away.”

“I had Adrian’s permission,” It wasn’t cheating when he had Adrian’s go ahead. “I haven’t been with anyone since he got out.”

“Good boy,” She smiled approvingly, holding out a familiar tan jacket to him. “He left this in my car after my doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I called him, but it went straight to voicemail.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t get service at his grandfather’s compound. The old man’s got a cellphone jammer so no one gets distracted from their work.” Deran took the jacket from her, tossing it haphazardly on the couch. “How did, uh, how did your appointment go? Everything okay with the kid?”

“Yep, Doc said it was all good,” She rested a hand on the small bump beneath her shirt. “You and Adrian don’t talk about baby stuff?”

“It comes up when we actually have the chance to talk to each other,” Those moments were few and far between as of late. “But the five minutes before bed don’t leave a lot of room to discuss much of anything.”

“Yeah, he keeps himself pretty busy these days,” Renn said sympathetically. “You can get why though, right? The minute he gives himself enough time to take a breath and think, his entire worlds going to crash down around him.”

“He’s gonna have to deal with all the shit that’s gone down eventually,” Deran had been waiting for the emotional fallout, was prepared for it when it did happen. “Until he does, he’s just going to work himself into exhaustion every night.”

“Not for nothing, but if you want to carve a little time together out of his day, you could try cutting down his commute,” Renn suggested. “If he didn’t have to rely on rides, he wouldn’t have to leave so early or get home so late.”

“He needs a new car, I know,” Deran had been trying to talk him into a new vehicle for well over four months already. “You’ve never gone car shopping with Adrian, have you?”

“No. Why?” Renn furrowed her brows. “Is he that bad? He doesn’t strike me as the picky type.”

“No, he’s not,” Although, he did seem to find something wrong with every single car they looked at. “He just doesn’t want a new car. He wants _his_ car.”

“Which he gave to Jess.”

“The Wagoneer is a piece of shit,” The thing had been a hunk of junk when Adrian had bought the goddamn thing. “But it was his. It was the first thing he ever really owned. He actually loved living out of it in high school, it was weird.”

“I’ll take Jess car shopping,” Renn decided. “She’s got money saved from the checks she’s getting from her grandpa, she can afford something newer. Adrian could have his car back.”

“We need something, because my van’s not exactly child-safe and Craig’s called dibs on the Scout,” Deran wasn’t going to kick Craig while he was already down by snaking the Scout out from under him. “So, if you can convince her to give it up, I know Adrian would be grateful.”

“I will do what I can,” Renn promised him. “Speaking of Craig, have you gone to see him yet?”

“No, not yet,” His guilty conscience gnawed at him every time he answered that question. “I know I should. Pope keeps telling me to.”

“He’s doing really well, Deran,” Renn said softly. “You’d be proud of him.”

“I’ll go see him soon, okay?”

“Sure.”

* * *

 

The ins and outs of running a criminal organization were less complex than Adrian expected them to be. There was a lot of bribing people to look the other way and threatening the ones that money couldn’t buy. Adrian picked up on that part of the business easily enough, so Kelly had shifted his and Pope’s focus on other aspects of it: distribution.

“You’ve shown your aptitude when it comes to washing the money, and receiving and exporting our large and small arms,” Kelly praised his abilities as he looked over the inventory. “However, there are other aspects of the weapons side of our business that I’m not quite ready to make you privy to.”

“Who we’re buying from or selling to,” Adrian would prefer to live in the dark forever, knowing where the guns ended up would make him feel responsible for whoever they were used on. “You’re going to have to trust us with that eventually, unless you plan to hand that part of the business off to someone else when you croak.”

“I trust you to do the jobs you are given. I do not trust that you will be respectful as you do it,” Kelly narrowed his eyes at him. “Weapons trafficking comes with a bigger risk than other parts of our organization, for that reason, we only sell to trusted buyers, people we have known much longer than either of you have been alive. Longstanding relationships like these ones demand respect.”

“I’m sure these trusted and respected associates of yours are all upstanding citizens,” Adrian would have preferred chewing glass to pretending they were anything less than the scum they were. “I’m sure none of the munitions we buy or sell from them end up on the street in the hands of kids.”

“Think of us as intermediaries. We procure certain items for clients, usually in bulk. Where those items end up once they leave us is not our concern.” Kelly filed the inventory sheet away in his desk. “As I said, I don’t think you are ready to be made privy to that client list, so I would like to move you away from weapons and have you take point on our newest venture.”

“The drugs,” Pope guessed, clenching his jaw. “You got into the drug business after Adrian got popped, now you want us to sell them.”

“I have a warehouse full of product that’s been wasting money,” Kelly handed them each a coded list of said product. “It is your job to distribute that product to dealers, get it out of the warehouse and onto the street.”

“Do you plan to handhold us through this too?” Adrian snarked, barely giving the list a glance. “You’ve kept us on a tight leash with everything else.”

“You were novices in other aspects of the business,” Kelly pointed out. “Between Mr. Cody’s drug abusing siblings and your past as a dealer, I think you can handle this all on your own.”

“I dealt in party favors,” Adrian, along with Deran, had specialized in weed, shrooms, LSD, and ecstasy, but that was as far down the rabbit hole as they had ventured. “We never crossed the line into hardcore stuff.”

“Some might call LSD and ecstasy hardcore,” Kelly tutted. “Nevertheless, you made a good living selling at school, clubs, the beach, and surfing events.”

“All places where we spent most of our time,” Places where they wouldn’t raise too much suspicion. “I’m not exactly dancing in the same social circles or frequenting the same places.”

“Yes, you’ve avoided the beach and surfing competitions like the plague since your release, and you are both well out of school age. Returning to those areas suddenly would seem strange to the current crop of regulars,” Kelly agreed, nodding his head. “Your scene these days is of the more adult nature, bars and clubs.”

“Places like that already have dealers,” Pope dropped the inventory list back onto the desk. “We’d be moving in on someone else’s territory.”

“Unless it is already your territory by ownership,” Kelly acknowledged. “Or owned by someone close to you, The Drop and Either/Or.”

“Deran’s bar and Adrianna’s club. That is never going to happen,” The last thing Adrian would do was flood Deran or his stepmother’s places of business with junk after they busted their asses to get where they were. “Deran’s place is off limits for obvious reasons. Adrianna’s been clean for going on 5yrs, I’m not testing that sobriety by slinging dope in her club.”

“I’m open to suggestions, boys,” Kelly opened the floor to them. “If you have other ideas of how to empty that warehouse, speak now.”

“The properties Smurf gave us,” Pope offered up alternatives. “J’s bowling alley.”

“Obviously we’ll need a little time to discuss it,” Adrian put a hold on making any decisions. “Will you allow us that?”

“Of course. Talk amongst yourselves. I have other business to attend to tonight.” Kelly stood from his desk and made his way toward the door. “Adrian, I would like you and Deran to be here for breakfast in the morning. If you and Andrew have come to a decision on how to move our product by then, you can tell me over a cup of coffee.”

“Okay,” Adrian doubted they would have a business plan drawn up by then, but miracles did happen. “Deran and I will see you for breakfast in the morning.”

“Goodnight, gentlemen.” Kelly took his leave, leaving them on their own in his office.

“So,” Pope got right back down to business. “The properties—“

“Are you crazy?” Adrian was seriously beginning to doubt Pope’s sanity. “Smurf’s businesses? The kid’s place I get, sort of, but Smurf’s?”

“She gave them to us.“

“They’re still hers and you know it,” Smurf’s gifts always came with strings attached, or rather chains and a padlock only she had the key to. “You want to start dealing on her turf.”

“Better hers than Deran’s or your stepmom’s,” Pope reasoned, shrugging his shoulders. “She’s already using them to clean her dirty money. Half the complexes are already drowning in junkies just looking for a fix.”

“Those properties she gave you are in your names,” If the drugs they sold could be traced back to them, it would shine a bright light on every other business in their names, and not a single one of them was on the up-and-up. “Even if they weren’t, I’m not in the mood to start a war with your mother. We’ve had a truce or a ceasefire, something, since I’ve been out of prison—“

“She’s not dormant, she’s plotting something big.”

“I’m sure that’s true, but until she makes a play, we’re not doing anything, not in the name of this organization,” Any shot they fired in Smurf’s direction would be a personal beef, and the drugs were part of the business. “We’re going to keep the peace on that front for as long as we’ve got it.”

“What do you suggest then?” Pope growled at him. “You want to sell through Deran’s bar and your stepmom’s place?”

“No,” He didn’t want to sell anywhere. “Drugs are the reason I went to prison, I’m not looking to go back for them, and I’m sure as hell not putting Deran and Adrianna at risk for it.”

“Well, we’ve got to get rid of the product somehow.”

“I don’t need the salary I get from Kelly,” He and Deran could live more than comfortably off Deran’s earnings from the bar and pulling heists, and if they needed more, Adrian could always get a real job. “What if I bought the drugs myself, bits of it over time, and destroyed it?”

“I’d say you don’t make enough money for him to believe we’re really selling it,” Pope retorted curtly. “What about the people Renn worked for? Maybe we can sell it off to them. We can make them a good offer, a cheap one, and between our salaries we can make up the difference to make it look like we’re making a profit.”

“I can talk to Renn, see if she can get us a meeting with her old contacts,” It wasn’t the perfect plan, but it was better than what they already had. “Hopefully, we can work something out with them.”

“I’m still going to run some of the product through J’s bowling alley,” Pope said, leaving no room for argument. “It’s his outright, separate from Smurf’s business. He doesn’t even know we know about it, only reason I do is because I followed him.”

“You want to mess with the kid, you go right ahead,” Adrian had no love for the kid, had no reason to protect him the same way he would other members of Deran’s family. “Not that it’s any of my business, but this beef you have with him, is it still about Baz? Taking out his girlfriend, it sort of evens the score there, doesn’t it?”

“Nothing will even that score,” Pope snarled, temper flaring. “But this isn’t about that. He was stealing from Smurf, selling off her properties while she was in jail. He stole nearly a million dollars from her, that means he was stealing from us.”

“He is Smurf’s little mini-me, isn’t he?” It was perplexing to Adrian how someone who grew up safely away from Smurf could end up just like her. “You really think you can make all that money back by selling blow out of a bowling alley?”

“I don’t care about making the money back.”

“You just want to take something from him.”

“Yes.”

* * *

 

The thing about living in the middle of nowhere is that you could hear everything, owls hooting, wind rustling leaves on the trees, cars passing on nearby roads, even the waves crashing on rocks miles away. All that noise and the silence of the empty house still beat against Deran’s eardrums as the loudest sound he’d ever heard.

“Damn,” He’d stopped being angry about Adrian’s late nights weeks ago, now it was just a deadweight of disappointment that followed him from room to room.

He left the front door unlocked and hung his and Adrian’s jackets from hooks on the wall before making his way through the house. He bypassed the kitchen and the living room, moving into the master bedroom, the only place either of them spent any real time when they were actually in the house.

“Least the beds comfy,” He mumbled to himself, flopping down on top of the blankets.

He toed off his shoes and kicked them to the floor, a small effort to keep the bedspread somewhat clean until the next wash day. He sat up far enough to strip off his shirt, ball it up, and toss it in the direction of the laundry basket across the room. He got as far as unfastening the button on his jeans when he heard the creak of floorboards from somewhere else in the house.

“Who’s there?” Deran called out, reaching for the gun he kept in the nightstand. “Whoever you are—“

“It’s me,” Adrian responded, coming in from the hall. “I should be the one asking you that, anyway. I was home first.”

“Really?” Deran tried to keep the surprise from showing on his face. “Where were you?”

“The backyard,” Adrian waved a hand toward the back of the house. “I was cleaning up the barbecue.”

“At three in the morning?”

“I can’t sleep here when you’re not here,” Adrian admitted, kicking off his own shoes. “It’s too quiet.”

“I get that,” Deran had trouble sleeping there himself sometimes. “Did you eat?”

“Yeah, Kelly’s chef made us something raw and slimy,” Adrian gagged, climbing into bed beside him. “I lost my appetite as soon as they brought it out. You want me to make you something?”

“I was just gonna ask you that,” Not that he was in the mood to cook or eat. “I’m not really hungry.”

“Me neither,” Adrian sighed, resting his head on the pillow. “Kelly wants a breakfast with us in the morning.”

“With _us_?” That would have been a bigger shock to Deran than Adrian getting home before him. “I haven’t even been allowed to step foot in his house since you started working for him. Now I’m invited for breakfast?”

“He asked for both of us,” Adrian confirmed with a nod. “You can talk to him about what his problem is with you at breakfast.”

“You haven’t asked him?”

“I’ve been a little busy,” Adrian groused, staring up at the ceiling. “Between the business, Renn’s pregnancy, and Hank—“

“Hank’s not a problem,” The drunk bastard hadn’t even been around since he picked he bottle back up. “Don’t use him as an excuse.”

“Hank is a creature of habit. He starts drinking, tries to reconcile with Adrianna, and goes home to drink some more.” Adrian listed off items from his father’s ‘off the wagon’ itinerary. “He doesn’t just take off. He always goes home. He hasn’t been back to the trailer since I dropped off his truck, which is still sitting out front. It’s been almost five months, Deran.”

“So file a missing persons report,” He doubted the cops would care anymore than he did. “I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually, not that it would matter if he didn’t.”

“It would matter to me,” Adrian glared at him. “It would matter to Jess and Adrianna.”

“Okay,” Deran didn’t understand why, but he wasn’t looking to pick a fight either, so he’d let it drop. “You’ve put the word out to his drinking buddies and the bartenders at his usual haunts. There’s not much else you can do.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right,” Adrian rolled onto his side to face him. “I’m just worried. He was acting strange that night, saying stuff he normally wouldn’t.”

“What kinds of things?”

“The truth.”

* * *

 

The Dolan compound was large and obtrusive, more than one person or even a family would ever need. It was a disgusting show of wealth that made Adrian sick to look at, yet he’d been forced to spend most of his days there since he had officially been brought into the organization.

“All this will belong to you one day,” Kelly boasted as the three of them shared a meal on the patio. “Possibly to both of you.”

“Possibly?” Deran raised a brow. “I know you’ve got a problem with me, old man, just lay it on the table.”

“Mr. Cody,” Kelly folded his hands together in front of him, the picture of professionalism. “I understand that you are upset, because you have not been allowed to join Adrian and your brother here, but that is your own fault.”

“How?” Deran dropped his fork, letting it clatter onto his breakfast plate. “What the hell did I even do?”

“It’s what you didn’t do,” Kelly said pointedly. “I gave you an assignment, you did not complete it.”

“The job got done,” Deran claimed, scowling at the older man across the table. “Pope went all lone wolf to do it himself. I didn’t get a choice in the matter.”

“Your own brother did not trust you to do what was requested,” Kelly criticized Deran’s performance, or lack thereof. “If your own brother doesn’t trust you, I cannot trust you.”

“Pope took point on the assignment while Deran was helping me,” Adrian interjected, hoping to avoid a physical altercation if Deran lost his temper. “It wasn’t about trust.”

“Everything is about trust,” Kelly corrected him. “Deran did not complete the task, therefore I do not trust him in the business or with you.”

“Your trust of him only matters where the business is concerned,” Adrian didn’t care one way or another how Kelly felt about anyone in his life. “As repayment for having me released from prison, I have allowed you to make more decisions about my life than I am comfortable with. Deran is where I draw the line.”

“I thought you might say that,” Kelly pinned them both with his calculated gaze. “I have a solution to this particular problem.”

“I’m sure you do,” Adrian wouldn’t have expected anything less. “Just spit it out so I can tell you why it’s never going to happen and we can all get on with the rest of our day.”

“Adrian, given the opportunity to sell out the Cody family in exchange for your own freedom, you chose to keep your mouth shut.” Kelly said proudly, as if he had anything to do with Adrian’s stubbornness. “I’m willing to bet you would even perjure yourself for them.”

“That’s a safe bet,” Adrian had lied to the cops more times than he could count for the Codys, a few judges a time or two as well. “My loyalty is well documented. Pope proved his by completing your assignment, now you have something to hold over him if he even thinks about flipping on you.”

“There’s a mutual trust between us, which is what we need with Deran,” Kelly chose to ignore Deran’s presence and speak solely to Adrian. “He had his chance to join the business, his brother took that chance from him, that door is now closed. If you would like him to remain at your side personally—“

“Don’t give me an ultimatum,” Adrian did not respond well to ultimatums, especially ones given by authority figures. “You can make a suggestion, we’ll take it under advisement, and get back to you at a later date.”

“My _suggestion_ to you,” Kelly paused for dramatic effect. “Is marriage.”

“No.” Adrian was already being forced into fatherhood, he wasn’t going to be forced into marriage too. “Not a chance--”

“Wait a second,” Deran interrupted, choosing to undermine Adrian over the wrong thing. “Let’s hear him out.”

“With marriage comes spousal privilege,” Kelly started on the path that would lead to the most resistance. “With spousal privilege, you could not be forced to testify against one another if the DA had enough to build a case against the organization or the Cody family.”

“We’ve been covering for each other since we were getting picked up for tagging as a pre-teens,” The last thing Adrian was worried about was Deran ratting on him to save his own ass. “Even in the worst moments of our relationship we always had each other’s backs. No piece of paper is going to change that.”

“Marriage can also prove beneficial after your child is born,” Kelly continued, undeterred by Adrian’s protests. “It will make it much easier for Deran to adopt your child. That is what you plan to do once the baby is born, yes?”

“Uh, y-yeah. I mean, I, uh, I guess,” Deran nodded slowly, unsure of himself. “We, uh, hadn’t really talked about it, but I—“

“Yes,” Adrian gave a firm answer, tired of listening to Deran trip over himself. “If Deran wants to do the second-parent adoption thing, we can do that. I’m perfectly on board with that.”

“Marriage would make that much easier—“

“A good attorney could make that much easier,” Adrian countered, unwilling to budge on the matter. “Now, we’ve heard your suggestion, considered it—“

“You haven’t considered it at all,” Kelly pointed out. “What perplexes me is how you can be so against something your community fought so hard for the right to do.”

“I’m not against marriage,” Adrian was respectful of the institution and applauded the generations of the LGBT community that paved the way to let the rest of them even have that option. “I’m against getting married for the wrong reasons.”

“You are old enough and jaded enough to know that love is a foolish concept, yet still naïve and idealistic enough for it be the only thing you’d marry for,” Kelly voiced his disappointment in him. “I was under the impression that you and Mr. Cody were in love, had been since childhood. Was I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong,” Adrian had been in love with Deran most of his life, even if neither of them were very good at expressing it. “But if we ever do choose to get married, it will be for us.”

“We’re not saying no,” Deran chimed in to add his two cents. “It’s something we have to discuss privately, and then we’ll get back to you.”

“Discuss it privately and let me know at dinner tonight,” Kelly put a deadline on their discussion. “Ms. Randall has reached her second trimester, when the doctors say it is safe to announce the pregnancy, so I think it’s time we do that.”

“With a dinner,” Adrian could get on board with that, under the right circumstances. “Is this another one of your business deals, announce the pregnancy to your associates to warn them that our family line will continue so they better not get any ideas—“

“My associates will not be part of this dinner,” Kelly assured him. “I thought it would be family only, both families, Dolans and Codys, and Ms. Randall, of course.”

“We can do that, but at our house,” Adrian needed to have some kind of control over the situation, since he seemed to have none anywhere else in his life. “Deran and I will host.”

“Fabulous,” Kelly clapped his hands. “The merging of families can be a beautiful thing.”

“This one is going to be a clusterfuck, I can promise you that.”

* * *

 

Deran had a theory that Adrian’s unwavering ability to keep up the silent treatment act stemmed from his selective muteness as a child. He managed to keep it up through the end of breakfast and throughout the car ride. Deran tried to match his silence, but had to call bullshit when they somehow wound up at Hank’s motorhome instead of their house.

“This is why you wanted to drive?” Deran should have known something was up the moment Adrian snagged the keys right out of his hands. “What the fuck are we doing here? I thought we had this conversation last night.”

“I just want to check on the place,” Adrian snapped, yanking the keys out of the ignition. “And I gotta pay for the space.”

“We’re paying your dad’s rent now?” That was new information that Deran should have been made aware of a hell of a lot sooner. “When did that start?”

“When he took off,” Adrian confessed unapologetically. “You want him to end up on our couch when he comes back?”

“Fair point,” He didn’t want members from either of their families crashing at their place. “How long do you plan to keep it up for?”

“Until he turns up,” Adrian sighed, slumping over the steering wheel. “I don’t want to fight with you about Hank, okay? Can you just accept that I need to do this?”

“Okay. I’ll drop it,” Regardless of how it might seem, he wasn’t actively trying to pick a fight. “You want me to change the subject, I’ll change the subject.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re not going to like the new subject any better,” The only reason Deran was bringing it up was because Kelly had first. “We, uh, we kinda need to talk about that marriage thing.”

“No, we don’t,” Adrian pinched the bridge of his nose. “I meant what I told Kelly. I’m not marrying you to make things easier for him.”

“We don’t need to get married,” They were on the same page there, but for vastly different reasons. “We _can’t_ get married.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“No, babe, you don’t understand,” Deran reached for the door handle, prepared to tuck and roll his way out of the vehicle if necessary. “We can’t get married, because we’re already, uh, we’re already married.”

“What--” Adrian stiffened, eyes fixed on the dashboard gauges. “What did you do?”

“Oh, no,” Deran was not taking full responsibility for this. “Not _me_. _We_ , motherfucker.”

“It doesn’t count as a ‘we’ thing if only one of us has any recollection of it, Deran,” Adrian retorted, leaning back in the seat. “Tell me what you did.”

“What _**we**_ did,” Deran could not stress the ‘we’ part enough. “We got married.”

“When? Where? Why?”

“Three years ago. Vegas. Lot of tequila.”

“Three years ago, Vegas…” Adrian cocked his head, recalling the memory. “We went to Vegas for Tao’s birthday. We did a little gambling, some club hopping—“

“Long story short, you and me ended up at a 24hr chapel,” The only way it could have been more of a cliché was if an Elvis impersonator had officiated the ceremony. “I found the marriage certificate in the car the next morning.”

“And you chose to keep it from me…”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Deran had seen the marriage certificate and panicked. “Hiding it seemed like the best option at the time. I thought, maybe, if I ignored it, it would just go away.”

“Uh huh,” Adrian exhaled slowly as he processed the information. “Out of curiosity, is there anything else about us that you’d like to confess to?”

“Um,” Deran racked his brain for anything other secrets he might’ve been keeping from Adrian. “No, I think that’s it.”

“You sure?” Adrian asked. “Don’t keep dolling it out for dramatic effect.”

“That was it, I swear.”

“I am not going to get angry about this,” Adrian decided, taking a deep breath. “We had a lot of issues at the time. You had a lot of issues. You have grown as a person since then, matured. Our relationship is a much better place.“

“You are being way more chill and understanding about this than anything else lately,” That in itself was suspicious. “Jesus Christ. You knew.”

“I know that you didn’t actually read that marriage certificate,” Adrian snorted derisively. “If you had, you would have seen Tao and that chick he was seeing at the time, what was her name? Lula? Yeah. Tao and Lula’s names were signed under ‘ _lawfully wed’_ and ours were under _‘in the presence of’_.”

“Are you serious?” In his defense, his brain hadn’t been working at full capacity on account of the massive hangover and all. “Are you sure?”

“I had to listen to him bitch about it every day at work for like a month,” So, yeah, Adrian was pretty damn sure. “Trust me, Deran, if we had been the ones who eloped in Vegas, you could bet your ass I would have divorced you a long time ago.”

“Fuck you very much,” Deran slumped down in his seat. “…Why?”

“You do remember how you were three years ago, right? Violently homophobic,” Adrian spit out, keeping hold of the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. “A few weeks after that Vegas trip, you left me on a dirty restroom floor with a couple busted ribs so your mommy wouldn’t find out you were a sorry excuse for a cocksucker.”

“I thought we were past that,” Deran had apologized as much as he was going to for that shit, it wasn’t like he could go back in time and change what happened, no matter how much he wanted to. “Everyone keeps bringing it up like it happened yesterday.”

“I was putting my divorce comment into context of the time, Deran,” Adrian remarked. “I would have filed for divorce after that beating, had we been the ones to drunkenly elope in Vegas.”

“But we weren’t the ones,” A relief, really, after having the situation put into context. “So what your grandfather wants us to do—“

“Is not going to happen,” Adrian shook his head. “I’m not going to be forced into one more thing, not by Kelly and not by you for Kelly.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Deran hadn’t planned to force Adrian into anything. “We could do it for us. We’re already having a kid, marriage is small fry compared to that. If it smoothes things over with your gramps, that’s just a bonus.”

“If you actually wanted to get married, Deran, you wouldn’t feel obligated to tack on that bit about smoothing things over with my gramps. All you want is for Kelly to let you into the business,” Adrian said matter-of-factly. “You don’t want to marry me and I don’t want to marry you. We can have a kid and be in this for the long haul without doing that.”

“Okay.”

“You already act like you own me, I’m sure as hell not signing a piece of paper that will make you think you legally do.”

“I said _okay_ , Adrian.”

“I mean, fuck,” Adrian grunted, dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t have control of a single thing in my life and the one thing I really want to be mine again is me, but everyone keeps finding new ways to take that from me to.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” If Deran had known Adrian would react so passionately, he wouldn’t have brought it up. “Relax, okay? I’ll drop it. It’s okay.”

“Can we just…” Adrian cleared his throat. “Can we just get through this family dinner, please?”

“Yeah. Yes. Family dinner,” If that is what it took to get the pinched look off Adrian’s face, Deran was game. “We’ll need to gather up Pope, your sister and nephew, Renn and Willa. Hank’s MIA, so he’s out. What about your stepmom?”

“I can call Adrianna, see if she wants to come,” Adrian nodded. “Whole family means whole family, Deran. Smurf and Craig, included.”

“No fucking way,” He had managed to keep Smurf a safe distance from their house since he purchased it, he wasn’t going to invite her in now. “Craig’s in rehab, remember? And Smurf…”

“Smurf is your mother, it sucks but it’s true. I know you guys do this thing where you shut her out to punish her, but whenever you do that, you’re giving her more power over you,” Adrian spoke as someone who had seen that play out far too many times. “She knows it means you’re keeping things from her, so she goes into overdrive trying to figure out what it is and how to use it against you. We need to be proactive here. We let her be there when we announce the baby to everyone else, if anything our openness will throw her off balance.”

“My god, that actually makes sense,” That was a little terrifying, to be honest. “If we tell her about the baby, she’ll want to be in its life.”

“If we don’t tell her, she’ll find a way to take it from us,” Adrian said certainly. “The kid has my blood, not yours, so I doubt she’ll be too interested in it either way.”

“That’s true,” The lack of Cody blood could act as a safeguard, but it really depended on how badly Smurf wanted to get to them. “What if she decides the kid’s blood doesn’t matter? What if she wants to be in its life?”

“She can visit, but never be left alone with it,” Adrian laid out the ground rules. “And our child will never join either of our family businesses.”

“Agreed,” Deran wouldn’t be like Smurf, he wouldn’t force a child into that life. “So, we’re inviting Smurf to dinner to cut her off at the pass.”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Still a problem with inviting Craig, though,” And this time it wasn’t even about Deran not wanting him near Adrian or their home. “He’s in rehab. He can’t just leave.”

“If you had read the brochure I gave you for that country club-esque rehab facility, you would know that after thirty days, he’s allowed a day pass out,” Adrian explained. “He’s got over sixty days under his belt. Normally, you would have to give them 24hrs notice or something, but I’m sure you can find a way to convince them to let him out for a special family dinner.”

“I can convince them?” Why the hell did Deran have to do it? “You’re the one that’s been up there before.”

“You need to see him there, Deran, so you can see he’s making the effort,” Adrian urged him to make the trip. “While you are doing that, I’ll be at Smurf’s house, inviting her and Pope to dinner.”

“You don’t have a car,” Deran reminded him. “We’ll have to go together.”

“I’ll take Hank’s truck,” Adrian pointed out the window to his father’s pickup that had been collecting dust sitting stationary the last four months. “So you can take the van to get Craig.”

“You just have an answer for everything today, don’t ya?”

“Yep.”

* * *

 

The concept of rehab had always been nightmarish to Craig when he was high. He’d pictured something akin to a decrepit, underfunded, asylum straight out of a horror movie. The place Pope helped check him into was the exact opposite of every idea he had cooked up in his head.

It was a retreat for the wealthy and elite, somewhere they went to rest and dry out before their high society neighbors caught onto their obvious substance abuse problems. The staff manufactured a sense of tranquility with floor-to-ceiling windows and a neutral color palette. The library, art rooms, yoga studio, and fully equipped gym kept the addicts from going stir crazy between counseling sessions.

After successfully navigating his way through the ‘just let me die’ stage of detox, Craig had been spending most of his time in the gym and yoga studio, or decompressing from therapy alone in his room. Solitude wasn’t encouraged, but he and his counselors recognized he needed to learn to be on his own for extended periods of time without doing something self destructive.

Over the course of his 60+ days there, the only time his private space had been invaded was when he had given a counselor or administrator a reason to worry, or if he had a visitor. His only visitors so far had been Pope, Adrian, Renn, and Smurf on a few occasions. Deran couldn’t be bothered to come see him or the progress he’d made, up until now that is.

“This place is nicer than your last apartment,” Deran noted, taking in the room. “Not really what I was expecting.”

“Me neither,” His younger brother’s sudden appearance threw him off, to say the least. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Deran assured him. “I got you a day pass out, so you can come to dinner tonight.”

“Really?” Well, well, well, color Craig surprised. “Didn’t think you’d be staging a breakout if you ever came to see me.”

“It’s just for dinner,” Deran shoved his hands in his pockets, like he was afraid to touch anything. “I’ll bring you back before lights out and you can finish your sentence.”

“It’s not a prison and I’m not here by a court order, I can leave whenever I want, I just…” Craig ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not ready.”

“So you don’t want to come to dinner?”

“I’ll come to dinner,” Craig was craving anything that wasn’t made in bulk in the cafeteria. “What’s with the dinner, though? Something going on?”

“No, not really,” Deran shrugged. “Adrian and I are having a family dinner, you’re family, so…”

“Right,” Nothing at all weird about that. “This have anything to do with Adrian knocking up my baby mama?”

“Kind of,” Deran smirked. “If it makes you feel better, she’s just the incubator.”

“Yeah, she mentioned that,” He and Renn were giving openness and honesty a try, and her new pregnancy had come up a time or two. “You good with that? A kid a mean?”

“Everyone keeps asking me that,” Deran grumbled, shaking his head. “I’m good with it.”

“You’re not exactly daddy material.”

“Neither are you.”

“I’m trying to be,” That was the whole reason he was in rehab. “Renn’s brought Willa to see me since I’ve been here. She’s amazing, man.”

“She’s a little spitfire,” Deran smiled. “She and Jess’s kid, Joseph, are like energizer bunnies. I’m hoping mine and Adrian’s kid is mellow.”

“Don’t count on it,” Craig didn’t think ‘mellow’ was in any child’s vocabulary. “So how’s everything else? No one really keeps me updated. How is it working for the mafia?”

“You’d have to ask Pope and Adrian,” Deran’s face fell at the line of questioning. “I never passed the loyalty test, so I’ve been shut out of that business.”

“Ouch,” Craig was well versed in that kind of pain. “So what have you been doing?”

“Bar stuff, mostly,” Deran scowled. “With you in here and Pope working with Adrian, we don’t have a big enough team to pull anymore jobs, so…”

“So you’ve gone legit,” There was something Craig never thought he’d see. “I better check out of here soon or you’re going to start bouncing off the fucking walls.”

“You said you weren’t ready, you shouldn’t leave until you are,” Deran advised him. “We’ve got savings and income from our legitimate businesses. We can wait for you.”

“I appreciate that,” He figured they’d just replace him if he was away to long. “I just don’t trust myself yet. I don’t want to be back in here in a few months. I need to be sure I can keep my shit together.”

“We all want that for you,” Deran murmured. “It’s what I’ve always wanted for you.”

“I don’t even know what the fuck I’ll do when I get out of here,” He couldn’t carry on like he always had, just pulling jobs and getting high, he needed more than that. “I need something like you got, like the bar, so I can earn straight and keep busy between heists.”

“I need the bar to be my thing. I’m already running our dirty money through it, I can’t…” Deran trailed off, trying to find his words. “Look, um, Adrian’s floated the idea of opening a surf shop once things settle down, maybe you guys can do that together. He’s going to be busy with his grandpa’s business and the kid, so he’ll need help with the day-to-day.”

“Actually, he and I have talked about that,” Craig was more than open to the idea, but didn’t want to step on Deran’s toes. “You were pretty clear when you said you wanted me to stay the hell away from Adrian, I didn’t want to cause problems between you guys or more problems between us.”

“I was pissed. I had every right to be pissed,” Deran stood by his initial reaction, his anger. “But I was sort of wrong, too. It wasn’t all your fault. Adrian made a choice to help you. He could have said no. He does say ‘no’ actually. He says it a lot. It’s pretty much his favorite word lately. He made a choice, I didn’t agree with it, but it was his choice.”

“I shouldn’t have asked him to help me,” Craig understood that now, he’d crossed a line. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, for being an asshole,” Deran sheepishly apologized. “So, you coming to dinner, or what?”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Craig wanted nothing more than to spend the day with their family. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

* * *

 

It wasn’t a secret that Adrian and Smurf had a somewhat tumultuous relationship. It was a well-documented fact that they didn’t like each other very much, and no amount of time or apologies was going to change that. However, the survival rate of people at odds with Smurf wasn’t great, and unless Adrian wanted to join Cath or Baz in early graves, it was best if he and Smurf found a way to be civil.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said while I was in the hospital,” Adrian started, keeping the kitchen island between himself and the Cody matriarch. “Burying the hatchet.”

“Had a change of heart, have you?” Smurf smirked behind her coffee cup. “What brought that on?”

“Our lives are going to be intertwined through Deran until one of us dies,” That would have been true even if he and Deran’s relationship had never shifted from platonic to romantic. “I don’t want to spend that time fighting with you or looking for ways to actively avoid you.”

“Uh huh,” Smurf nodded slowly. “How do you suggest we bury this hatchet?”

“We can start with dinner,” Adrian tried his best to seem genuine and sincere. “Deran and I are hosting a family dinner at our house tonight, and we’d like for you to be there.”

“Of course I’ll be there, baby,” She smiled sweetly. “Is it a special occasion?”

“We’ve kept to ourselves for the most part these last few months,” Not necessarily a lie, they had sort of isolated themselves. “We want to catch up with everyone. What better way than with dinner?”

“It is short notice,” Smurf hummed, toying with the watch on her wrist. “But I can move some things around, fit it into my schedule.”

“Good. Great.” Inviting her had been his idea but now that he had her R.S.V.P, he felt a little nauseous. “We have to have Craig back by 7pm, so it’ll be an early dinner. Will that work for you?”

“I suppose,” Smurf pursed her lips. “I was under the impression that Deran and Craig weren’t getting along. Has something changed?”

“They’re mending fences,” It was taking a hell of a lot longer than Adrian had expected it to, but it was happening nevertheless. “They’re together right now.”

“Such a shame when something or _**someone**_ comes between brothers that are usually so close.” Smurf left her mug on the island as she made her way around it. “I’m glad they’ve been able to patch things up.”

“Me too,” He blamed himself for the rift between Deran and Craig, like she did, but instead of capitalizing on it as she would, he took steps to help repair it. “You know, if I had been killed in prison, none of it would have been possible. Deran never would have forgiven Craig for asking me for help. Did you think about that when you were having me tuned up?”

“Having you killed was never part of the plan, baby,” Smurf claimed, standing in front of him. “Although, if something tragic had happened, it would have brought Deran home to me, and I would have been ready to take care of him.”

“You think he would have come home?”

“You know Deran. He’s not one to suffer in silence. When he’s in pain, he wants everyone to know about it,” Smurf critiqued her youngest son’s behavior, as if she hadn’t been responsible for instilling it in him. “He would get that call from the warden. He would identify your body to save you sister the trouble. He’d pay for your cremation, scatter your ashes at your favorite surf spot, and then he’d come home. He would yell at me, at his brothers, at the world, but when finally he dissolved into tears, it would be with his head in my lap.”

“And when he found out you funded my execution,” Planned or not, that’s exactly what it would be. “What would you have told him?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” She cupped his cheeks in her hands. “You had such a rough time in prison. No one would have faulted you for turning rat, certainly not Deran. Of course, Deran wouldn’t have blamed me for stopping you either.”

“Your mistake is thinking you know Deran better than he knows me,” An innocent mistake, really, one any mother could make. “Deran knows I would never turn on him. He knows if I ratted on Craig or Pope or even you or the kid, it would mean ratting on him, because none of you have a loyal bone in your body, you’d all flip on each other to save your own ass. Had the opportunity presented itself, you could’ve told him I was a rat, but you would have lost him forever.”

“You really think you mean that much to him?” She patted his cheek in a condescending manner. “You think he would turn his back on me over you?”

“Every time he has shut you out, he has come to me. He’s never shut me out. He’s certainly never shut me out and turned to you,” Adrian had shut Deran out once or twice, but Deran had never done the same to him. “You’ve always been so threatened seeing me in Deran’s space, even when we were little kids. All I ever wanted to do was love and protect him.”

“I can love and protect him—“

“You can, but you won’t,” He fully believed she was capable of feeling love, of caring for another human being, she just chose not to. “I don’t care why, either. You don’t want to care about your kids, fine, I’ll do it.”

“Hey,” Pope interrupted, stepping into the kitchen from the backyard. “What’s going on?”

“Adrian came to invite us for dinner,” Smurf dropped her hands away from his face as she spoke to her son. “I assume he or Deran is cooking, so you should go with him, make sure they don’t burn down Deran’s house.”

“Okay,” Pope agreed, eyes flicking between Adrian and his mother. “Sure.”

“Don’t look so scared,” Adrian flashed him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I haven’t burned anything down since I was fourteen, and I did that on purpose.”

“So you’re due.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already got a target in mind.”

“Good to know.”

* * *

 

Deran had bought a house in the middle of nowhere for one purpose: to keep people the fuck away. It was an unspoken rule that no one was allowed over unless he or Adrian invited them, and it was a rare occurrence to have more than one guest at a time. Having their combined families in the house at the same time made things a little claustrophobic.

It didn’t help that everyone felt the need to pile into the kitchen to assist with dinner preparations under the guise of being ‘helpful’. And _helping_ to cook dinner involved hip-checking Deran and Adrian out away from what they deemed too complicated for their skill set. The only ones who seemed confident in their cooking abilities were the babies who seemed to be having a grand old time in their high chairs, laughing at funny faces Craig was making at them.

“He seems calmer, right?” Renn noted, nudging Deran’s arm as they watched Craig with the kids. “A little more at peace.”

“I guess,” Deran could recognize that something in his brother had shifted, but a few weeks of sobriety didn’t guarantee it would stick. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up about anything.”

“Have a little fucking faith, would you?” The soft nudge of her elbow turned into a sharp hit right to the ribcage. “He’s trying.”

“I see that he’s trying,” The problem was, Deran had seen both his junkie siblings ‘trying’ before, and it had never worked out for either one of them. “I’m not doing a victory lap for him over a couple of weeks off the coke.”

“God, you can be such a prick,” Renn admonished him, glancing over at Jess. “Maybe you should be slipping him some of your dad’s pills instead of giving them to Adrian.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Jess admitted. “But I’ve only got so many, Adrian needs them more.”

“You’re giving your brother your dad’s meds?” Deran hoped they were the ones prescribed by his shrink and not something bought off the street. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“He’s ain’t using them, but when he did, they mellowed him out. I figured they could mellow Adrian out to,” Jess reasoned. “So when he checks in on me before he goes to work in the morning, I slip one in his thermos when he’s not looking.”

“Adrian doesn’t need help being mellow,” Ever when he was strung tighter than a bowstring, he was still the mellowest person in Deran’s life. “He’s fine.”

“He’s been alternating between pissed off and apathetic as fuck,” Jess described Adrian’s mood as if were some kind of recent development and not how he had been their whole lives. “I don’t get why you’re pissed off about it. It’s not like he didn’t use to slip you sleeping pills.”

“He what?” Deran stilled, head swiveling to the stove where his partner was talking in low tones to Pope. “You dosed me with sleeping pills?”

“Uh,” Adrian paused his own conversation to respond to Deran. “Occasionally.”

“What the fuck?” Who the fuck did shit like that? “Why the fuck…?”

“When you’d come over after that Dave shit,” Adrian weaved around the bodies in the kitchen to stand beside him. “I’d mix one into your beer when I didn’t want to deal with you.”

“Mixing sleeping pills and booze is dangerous,” Pope mentioned, scowling disapprovingly. “You could have done some real damage to him if you messed up the dosage.”

“Yeah, but at that point I didn’t give a fuck,” Adrian shrugged. “I knew the right dosage, I used to do it with my dad all the time.”

“So, you and me, we’ll have this out later,” Deran warned him. “And if you two are done talking shop, you can start really helping with dinner, instead of just yapping by the stove. You are the one who volunteered us to host, Adrian.”

“I’m going to heat up the barbecue,” Pope decided, picking up the steaks he had been seasoning. “If you want some grilled vegetables too, just bring them out.”

“I’m gonna go with him and set the table,” Jess took a load of plates out of the cabinet. “It’s less tense out there.”

“Obviously, she’s never spent a lot of time with Pope,” Craig joked as Jess followed their brother out to the deck. “Heard you been spending a lot time with him, though, A.”

“I wonder where you could have heard that from,” Adrian rolled his eyes as he pulled open the fridge. “Deran’s just jealous because he doesn’t get to come play with us.”

“I’m not jealous of Pope,” Unless he was missing something, he had no reason to be jealous of his oldest brother. “You want me to stop being an asshole about it, you can tell me what’s going on. What have you and Pope been getting up to?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Checking into expensive hotels, stripping off each other’s clothes and ravishing each other….” Adrian said wistfully, a sly grin playing on his lips. “Oh, you mean, other than having an affair?”

“Yeah,” A potential affair had crossed Deran’s mind once or twice, but he’d ultimately dismissed it. “You’re not Pope’s type.”

“Too broad shouldered, I know,” Adrian pouted. “We’ve been working, Deran, that’s it.”

“All those late nights,” Deran couldn’t help but wonder if something besides work had been going on, not necessarily a romantic affair, but something. “That better be it.”

“For the record, if I was going to step out on you with one of your brothers, it would be with Pope,” Adrian admitted, taking a pitcher from the fridge. “He’s the only one of you who knows how to shower.”

“Oh, you’re back on that shower shit?”

“Oh, you’re back on that possessive and controlling shit?” Adrian snarked as he poured himself a glass of iced tea. “Out of all of it, I thought learning to wash your hair would’ve been more likely than you changing your entire personality.”

“I really hope you two learn to get along before baby is born,” Renn murmured, chopping tomatoes on the cutting board. “Having parents that fight all the time is a shitty home to grow up in, trust me.”

“We get along,” Adrian claimed indignantly. “We’re just adjusting to recent changes.”

“We’ll be fine by the time the kid gets here,” Deran promised her. “Things just need to settle the fuck down.”

“We’ll have one big blowout, give each other the silent treatment for about a week,” Adrian offered reassurances in the form of their relationship’s trade secrets. “Then we’ll be copacetic for at least a year.”

“A good _blowjob_ is what you need,” Craig muttered his advice. “Get you over all that bullshit real quick.”

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” Deran said as casually as possible, not wanting to pressure his partner. “Just putting it out there.”

“You wouldn’t say no to it?” Adrian scoffed. “My dick hasn’t been touched by anyone but myself in nearly two years. If anyone’s getting a blowjob, it’s gonna be me.”

“Way too much information, guys,” Renn interjected. “You all can discuss getting back on the sex horse later, preferably when the kids aren’t present.”

“To be continued…”

* * *

 

Hosting the family dinner was a small, possibly ill-advised, way to regain some of his control over the otherwise out of control parts of his life. Hindsight, after seeing everyone’s expectant faces crowded around the table on their deck, Adrian realized he should have just told Kelly to go to hell and sent out a mass text to make their announcements and called it a day.

“I’ve changed my mind about this,” Adrian murmured, leaning in close to speak to Deran seated at his side. “It might’ve been a bad idea.”

“The point of this was to tell them what’s going on,” Deran reminded him. “We get this over with, they’ll eat, and then everyone goes home and our house will be ours again.”

“You tell them," Adrian wasn't scared to say what nearly everyone at the table already knew, he just didn't want to deal with the bullshit from those who didn't. "Please."

“You turned into a pussy in record time,” Deran chided him, before addressing the group at the table. “Hey everyone, Adrian has something he wants to tell you.”

“You’re definitely not getting a blowjob now,” Adrian mumbled under his breath as he pasted on a smile for their guests. “Most of you already know what we want to say, so I’ll keep this short and simple, uh, Renn agreed to be a surrogate for Deran and I. We’re having a baby.”

“Oh, I’m so happy for you!” Adrianna gushed, eyes shining. “Another baby in the family.”

“A baby,” Smurf pinned them both with a look from across the table. “When did this happen?”

“A few months ago,” Renn chimed in, as if to take some of the heat off the couple. “We didn’t want to say anything until we were past the first trimester.”

“Now that things are safely in the second trimester, we can all join in the excitement,” Kelly clapped his hands, delighted. “Tell us, do you have any names picked out?”

“We haven’t talked about it,” Adrian did have a few ideas, though. “But I’m partial to Cameron.”

“Deran’s middle name,” Smurf raised a brow. “Why?”

“Because it’s Deran’s middle name,” Biologically the child was Adrian’s, but Deran would be its father as well, and the baby deserved a part of him. “And it’s a unisex name, good for a boy or a girl.”

“Cameron Cody,” Smurf tested the name on her tongue. “It has a ring to it.”

“Cameron _Dolan_ ,” Kelly corrected her. “Dolan blood, Dolan surname.”

“There are plenty of chances for there to be more Codys in the world,” Adrian gestured to the many sitting around his table. “We Dolans are limited edition.”

“When Deran and Adrian get married, Deran will be a Dolan as well,” Kelly mentioned. “It’s only right for the three of them to share the same name.”

“Deran’s not taking Adrian’s surname. They’re not getting married,” Smurf acted as if she had a say in the matter. “He’s a Cody, that’s not going to change.”

“I’m coming around to the marriage idea now,” Adrian whispered to Deran. “Is that weird?”

“It’s not surprising since Smurf’s against it,” Deran muttered. “Let’s not make any rash decisions just to spite Smurf. Sleep on it.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adrian agreed. “If we’re still game in the morning, we can go to the courthouse.”

“You’re not going to be game for it in the morning,” Deran chortled, patting his leg. “That’s all right.”

“If they’re not getting married, then the child is Adrian’s alone, not Deran’s,” Smurf reasoned. “He has no legal or financial responsibility to it—“

“He has an emotional responsibility,” Jess cut in on Smurf’s tirade. “He’s chosen to love that baby the same way Adrian will. He’s taking that child on as his own.”

“Here’s the deal, we’re having a kid _together_ ,” Deran put as much emphasis as he could on the ‘together’ part. “It wasn’t really our idea, but it’s something we’ve chosen to do. It will be both our responsibilities, emotionally, financially, legally, and any other fucking way. We didn’t tell you so we could all argue semantics. Get on board or get the hell out.”

“Hey, I don’t want to interrupt Deran growing a set of balls or anything,” Craig interrupted, stumbling out of his chair. “But, uh, there’s a fleet of cop cars coming up the drive.”

Adrian heard the loud wail of sirens before he caught sight of the parade of cruisers blocking in the vehicles already parked in the driveway. His kneejerk reactions was to bolt, he could see the same reaction in Pope who had rocketed out of his chair, ready to make a quick getaway.

“We have the property surrounded,” Pearce’s voice boomed through the yard as he made his way across the lawn. “You could try to run, I’ll be happy to add evading the police to your list of charges.”

“I thought you’d been knocked back to patrol,” Smurf voiced her surprise to see the detective. “What are you doing here?”

“Kelly Dolan, Adrian Dolan, and Andrew Cody, you are under arrest for racketeering, trafficking of illegal weapons and narcotics.”


	9. what's done in darkness will be brought to the light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Chapter title comes from [Muddy Waters by The Gospel Whiskey Runners](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fot8BjUGx8)  
> Gif sets: [Jealously](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/184192397901/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-jealous-bloodwater), [Think](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/184256206061/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-think-you-guys-should-do)

Adrian, Detective Pearce, and an interrogation room. Hadn’t they been here before?

“If you don’t quit moving, I will cuff you to this table,” Pearce threatened, slamming his handcuffs on the metal table. “Sit down.”

“What the hell is this about?” Adrian preferred to pace anxiously until he received answers for his arrest. “You weren’t supposed to make the bust so soon.”

“When a close relative of my star witness disappears and later turns up dead, I begin to fear for the safety of that witness,” Pearce laid out crime scene photos on the table, depicting a hole in the ground and a badly composed body. “My condolences on the death of your father.”

“Hank’s dead?” The unwelcome pang of grief stilled Adrian’s movements. “How?”

“Gunshot wound to the head,” Pearce read off the M.E.’s report. “The medical examiner put the time of death between four and five months ago.”

“This is my dad’s hunting cabin,” Adrian noted the rundown wood shack in one of the crime scene pictures. “I went up there every weekend to look for him. He wasn’t there.”

“He was buried in a shallow grave beneath the cabin,” Pearce tapped his finger atop the photo of the gravesite. “Cadaver dogs found him.”

“Why did you have cadaver dogs up at Hank’s cabin?” Adrian asked, sliding into the open chair at the table. “Why were you looking into his disappearance at all?”

“Deran asked me to look into it,” Pearce mentioned, gathering the photos on the table and returning them to the file folder. “He thought Hank was distracting you. If you knew where your father was, you would stay on task. He gave me a list of Hank’s usual haunts, I executed searches on all of them.”

“At least now I know,” He would have to thank Deran for making the effort. “Look, Hank pissed off a lot of people. There’s no way to know this is connected to Kelly.”

“You don’t believe that, so don’t expect me to,” Pearce leaned back in his chair, folding his hands over his lap. “I couldn’t risk Kelly turning on you next. Now, I need to know where the list of weapons buyers and sellers is.”

“And I need to know that Pope is going to get the same deal Deran was going to get,” Adrian pushed thoughts of his father away to focus on the more pressing issue. “Then I’ll get you the list.”

“The agreement was made between you, the district attorney, myself, and Deran,” Pearce reminded him. “It is not my fault you chose to get Pope involved or that Kelly preferred him to Deran.”

“Get Pope the same deal or you get nothing,” There was no room to negotiate those terms. “You have nothing without what I’ve given you, if I need to, I’ll tell a judge that it was all bullshit that you made me say. Kelly will walk, I’ll go back to prison, if you’re lucky you’ll get demoted to patrol instead of getting fired.”

“You wouldn’t be going back to jail to finish out your original sentence, Adrian. You would be charged with every crime I could prove you committed while working with Kelly,” Pearce warned him. “Are you prepared to spend the next decade behind bars for Andrew Cody?”

“Yes,” Adrian said without hesitation. “He’s family.”

“I will talk to the DA about Pope,” Pearce played his cards, showed just how much he needed Adrian. “But you need to tell me where the list is.”

“I’m not the one who got twitchy and went in for the arrest ahead of schedule,” If he had just waited for Adrian to actually have the list on hand, they wouldn’t be in this position. “So, you get Pope the deal, I’ll get you the list.”

“You know,” Pearce leaned over the metal table. “If Smurf knew just how conniving you really were, I think she might actually find you to be useful to her.”

“Don’t be jealous, Pearce, I know you can’t officially work any case involving Smurf anymore, but I’m sure if you ask real nice she’ll still let you lick her boots.” Adrian smirked at the detective. “I’ve got her boys now, so there’s less competition. The only one you need to bump out of the way is Julia’s kid. A few trumped up charges could take care of that.”

“Words cannot express the enjoyment I’ll feel seeing you behind bars again.”

“What part of that is supposed to shock me?”

* * *

 

As soon as the cops were out of sight, it was like all hell had broken loose at the house. Deran understood why, watching Adrian and Pope be taken away in cuffs had put him on edge too, and he had the distinct advantage of knowing what the hell was going on.

“Calm down!” He shouted over the bickering going on across his patio table. “Everyone needs to relax.”

“Relax?” Smurf snarled at him. “Your brother was just taken to jail.”

“He’ll be fine,” Deran said confidently. “Adrian won’t let anything happen to him.”

“As if I’d trust him,” Smurf shoved out of her chair and stalking into the house. “I’ll call the lawyer.”

“’Cause your lawyer did such wonders for you,” Deran grumbled, remembering how Smurf had spent months in jail. “Call who you want, it won’t make a difference.”

“There’s something we don’t know,” Jess picked up on an underlying reason behind Deran’s calm attitude. “Are you going to tell us?”

“Just that everything is going how it’s supposed to,” Except it was all happening a little sooner than expected. “Adrian and Pope will be fine.”

“Should I be concerned?” Renn asked, wrapping an arm around her small bump. “Is this just an overnight or is it going to be long term?”

“I’ll be honest with you,” That was the least Deran could do for the woman giving them a child. “When we came up with this plan, Adrian was still under the impression he could talk his way out of the whole baby situation.”

“But sometime in the last four months, you altered the plan, right?” Craig inquired, draping an arm around Renn’s shoulders. “You adjusted shit to fit recent changes?”

“Yeah, of course,” They hadn’t talked about it per say, but the plan had sort of altered itself with the addition of the baby. “If it goes on too long, I will take care of the kid until Adrian comes home.”

“By yourself?” Adrianna raised a brow. “Kids aren’t easy, especially newborn babies.”

“You would know from all care and attention you showed your own kid at the age. Oh, wait, it was Adrian who took care of Jess when she was a baby, a small child, and a teenager,” Deran snarked at the woman as he took his vibrating cellphone from his pocket and checked the caller ID. “It’s the police station.”

“Answer it,” Jess encouraged him. “It could be my brother.”

“It could be also my brother,” He commented as he brought the phone up to his ear. “Hello?”

“ _This is a collect call from the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department placed by_ _ **Adrian Dolan**_ _, would you accept the charges?”_

“Yes,” Deran sat up straighter in his chair. “Adrian?”

“ _Yeah, it’s me.”_

“Shit,” He sounded like absolute shit. “Are you okay?”

“ _I’m fine, but, uh, I need you to do me a favor.”_

“Yeah, okay,” Deran would do anything he could to help him. “What is it?”

“ _Are my sister and mom still there?”_

“Yeah,” If he wasn’t sufficiently worried before, hearing Adrian refer to Adrianna as his mother, something he hadn’t done since he found out she wasn’t his biological mother, certainly did the trick. “They’re here.”

“ _I know I should do it, but it needs to be said in person.”_

“What does?”

“ _Dad’s dead.”_

“Fuck,” That explained his disappearance then. “I’m sorry, A. What happened?”

“ _Pearce said he was murdered. They found him under the cabin.”_

“Shit,” That explained why they couldn’t find him, who the hell would look under the house? “I’ll tell them.”

“ _Thanks.”_

“I’m going to come see you in the morning,” He doubted either Adrian or his brother would make bail, so visiting them before they were sent to county was the best he could hope for. “You and Pope. Do you need anything?”

“ _No, I’m fine.”_

“How’s Pope doing?” Deran knew his brother had a rough time in prison, he’d swore he’d die before he ever went back. “Have you had a chance to tell him what’s going on?”

“ _No, you were supposed to do that before we got to this point.”_

“I thought we’d have more time,” He had been putting off that particular conversation since Pope had usurped his position in the Dolan organization. “Things weren’t supposed to progress this quickly.”

“ _Pearce was worried I’d turn up dead like my dad.”_

“That’s not going to happen,” That’s the whole reason they had orchestrated all this. “That’s the point, remember? To keep you safe.”

“ _Now we need to think about how to keep Pope safe. Pearce is talking to the DA about getting him the deal you were going to get, but it and everything else hinges on that list. You remember where it is?”_

“Yeah,” At the Dolan compound, locked away in file cabinet in Kelly’s office, Deran would retrieve it just as soon as he was off the phone. “I’ve got the codes and the layout of the place too.”

“ _Pearce might have people watching the compound. You need to be careful.”_

“I will.”

“ _You can’t give it to Pearce until Pope’s deal goes through.”_

“I won’t,” He wouldn’t put his older brother at risk by fucking things up. “I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

“ _I’ll keep Pope calm tonight, but I need you to keep Jess and Mom close for me, okay? This shit with Dad, it’s going to twist ‘em up.”_

“I’ll keep them here,” The Dolan women had a penchant for being as self-destructive as Craig could be when faced with a difficult situation. “You don’t have to worry about them.”

“ _And you don’t have to worry about me.”_

“That’s all I do anymore."

* * *

 

Pope and Kelly were cooling their heels in a holding cell when a deputy led Adrian in. It was obvious Pearce was trying to incite some sort of reaction by keeping them isolated from the others, and locking the three of them away in an enclosed space together. Adrian was just thankful that they were all well versed in the little games the cops played and smart enough not to take the bait.

Kelly didn’t appear bothered by the circumstances, he was relaxed as he could be, looking quite at home in the cement room. Pope, on the other hand, had claimed a solitary corner for himself, seated as far away from Kelly as he could get in the enclosed space. Adrian elected to join his brother in law, knowing out of everyone, he deserved answers as to why they were there.

“So,” Adrian curled his arms around himself, trying to shield himself from the unforgiving chill of the room. “You’re probably wondering what’s going on.”

“Not really,” Pope kept his gaze steady on the cell door, as if he could make it open and free them with only the power of his mind. “It’s pretty self explanatory.”

“No, it’s not,” It was far more complicated than a couple criminal charges. “I can’t explain everything right now, Deran can in the morning when he comes to see you. All I can say is everything is going according to plan.”

“’ _According to plan,’_ ” Pope rolled the words on his tongue, once then again. “’According to plan…’”

“Except you,” Adrian would admit that Pope was the anomaly here. “You weren’t part of the plan.”

“Oh, that’s comforting,” Pope glared at him. “I’m not going back to jail.”

“Relax,” Adrian would have reached over to pat his arm in a comforting manner if he didn’t think he’d get punched for the effort. “I’ve got you, okay? It’s going to be fine.”

“Is there something you two would like to share with the class?” Kelly inquired, stretching his legs out over the bench seat. “It is very annoying to hear you whispering to each other like school children in class afraid to be caught by teacher. Either speak up or shut up.”

“Dad’s dead,” His strained relationship with his father wasn’t making it any easier to process that fact that he was dead. “Dogs found his body at the cabin.”

“That’s the problem with allowing your emotions get in the way of choosing an appropriate burial spot,” Kelly tutted, chastising whomever had done the deed. “Your father did love that hunting cabin, even as a boy, he spent his time hiding away up there. It seemed was only right.”

“What?” Adrian had his suspicions of course, especially after Hank had gone missing, but he never thought his grandfather would be so casual, confessing like he’d buried the family pet and forgot to tell everyone.

“Your father understood the price of disloyalty when he spoke out of turn. You can blame the drink all you want, the fact is he said things I specifically told him not to,” Kelly continued to criticize his deceased son’s behavior. “He understood the consequences, when he was a child he’d watched his mother suffer them. He knew better, yet, he opened his mouth anyway. Well, at least now I hope _you_ understand that our shared blood does not exempt you from these consequences if you choose to use your knowledge of my business to free yourself from our current incarceration.”

“I understand,” Adrian understood the knife of betrayal in his spine better than his grandfather would live long enough to. “Do you?”

“Pardon?” Kelly tilted his head to the side. “Do I what?”

“Do you understand the price of disloyalty?” In Adrian’s experience, the leaders of the pack were rarely loyal to anyone but themselves.

“Of course I do,” Kelly rolled his shoulders, tilting his head back against the cement wall. “I wouldn’t be where I am today in this business if I didn’t.”

“Sure,” Adrian wasn’t speaking about the business. “I think we have a lot to learn from each other about loyalty.”

“We’ll have plenty of time once my lawyers get us out of here.”

* * *

 

Deran had been dreading his visit with Pope since he’d watched been get hauled away in handcuffs. He had months to come clean with his brother about the situation he was walking into, but he never took the opportunity to do so. Sitting across from his very pissed off brother now, Deran was regretting every single thing he’d kept to himself over the last several months.

“I don’t know what the fuck you and Adrian have going on,” Pope kept his hands flat on the table, either at request of the guard that wasn’t present or to keep from smacking Deran upside the head for getting him into this situation. “But it better involve me getting the hell out of here, because I am not going back to jail, Deran.”

“You weren’t supposed to be the one in here,” Deran was supposed to be the one with Adrian in this. “We never should have let you into Kelly’s organization, that was our mistake. I’m sorry.”

“So the brilliant plan you two dimwits came up with was for the both of you to go to prison?”

“Only for a little while,” Just long enough for Kelly and his associates to believe they weren’t the ones who had snitched. “I swear to God, Pope, you were never supposed to get involved in this.”

“I am involved, Deran,” Pope slammed his fist against the table. “I am not going back to prison.”

“Adrian and I worked it out when we made the deal,” They never would have made the deal with Pearce if their terms weren’t met. “Only, instead of me, it’ll be you. You’ll be cellmates in a minimum security prison. It’s only for a few months, not even a full year.”

“No,” Pope shook his head. “I’m not going back.”

“It won’t be like it was for you last time,” Deran promised him. “You and Adrian can protect each other. I-I know this isn’t fair, but I…I need you to do this.”

“Do I have a choice?” Pope snapped, clenching his eyes shut. “I’ve got no play here. I have no way out.”

“I should have told you about all this before you ever got involved,” That’s what he was supposed to do, he’d actually insisted on being the one to tell him. “I’m sorry, Pope. I really am. I swear, though, I swear it’s not going to be as bad as it was the last time you were locked up. You and Adrian will be as safe as you can be this time.”

“What about Lena?” Pope asked, digging his nails into his palms. “She’s only safe if I’m with Smurf. Who’s going to protect her while I’m in here?”

“Let Craig and me worry about keeping Smurf busy,” Deran had a plan for her too, sort of. “Lena will be fine, okay? We’ve got eyes on her. If Smurf gets close, we’ll move her.”

“Craig knows about this?”

“No, but I’m going to tell him,” Deran and Adrian had worked under the assumption that the less people who knew about the deal the better. “Look, I know you’re pissed, and you have every right to be, but you can’t take this out on Adrian. I wanted to be the one to tell you, I told him I was going to do it months ago.”

“Why didn’t you?” Pope asked. “Were you that pissed I got into the organization and you didn’t?”

“I didn’t think you’d go along with it,” The prospect of any amount of prison would have deterred him from the plan entirely. “And the only way Adrian would accept Kelly’s offer to get him out of jail, the only way he’d join the organization is if he had a way out. This is the way out.”

“It would be a smart arrangement,” Pope admitted, a scowl permanently etched onto his features. “If it wasn’t for this pisspoor execution.”

“An execution is exactly what would happen if you weren’t popped with the rest of the organization or if you walked free and clear while everyone else got transferred to country to await trial,” There was a reason behind every step they had taken since the plan was put into motion, and for every step they would take going forward. “Pope, if we play this right, when you get out, we could all be free of Smurf.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not ready to see the bright side in all this right now.”

* * *

 

Adrian had accepted the terror of going back to prison when he had made the deals with his grandfather and Pearce. After a night in a holding cell, the reality of the decision he had made had begun to set in. That caged animal feeling had taken over sometime in the night, had him pacing more than sleeping. He was sure he looked like hell warmed over when he finally got to see Deran.

“You okay?” Deran asked, concern written all over his face. “You look pale.”

“I think I might have grossly underestimated how going back to prison would mess with my head,” Adrian mumbled, wiping beads of sweat off his brow. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine. How, uh, how are my mom and sister?”

“They’re holding up,” Deran reassured him. “They’re tough.”

“Yeah,” They had to be for all the shit they’d been through. “You know, I’ve imagined getting that call about Dad so many times, but I never imagined it would feel like this. I thought I’d be fine, that it wouldn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry, A,” Deran reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “If I had thought they’d find him dead, I never would have asked the cops to look for him. I figured he was off somewhere, drinking himself stupid.”

“Why did you ask the cops to look for him?” Adrian didn’t buy Pearce’s theory that Deran thought his dad’s disappearance was distracting him. “You didn’t care that he was missing.”

“You did,” Deran pointed out. “I didn’t want you to stress over it. I’m sorry it turned out this way. I can look into what happened--”

“I know what happened,” Adrian’s wasn’t referring to the hows, more of the whys. “He’s dead because of me, Deran.”

“How could it possibly be your fault?”

“It doesn’t matter how,” Adrian chose to keep the specifics to himself, for now at least. “It just is. I couldn’t stand my dad most of the time, but I…I never wanted him to get killed because of me.”

“You’re not the one who killed him. It is not your fault,” Deran insisted, trying to drill it into Adrian’s thick skull. “What do you…what do you want to do with him? Jess and Adrianna thought you should be the one to decide.”

“I don’t know,” Personally, if it were him, he wouldn’t want to rot in the ground. “Burn him, I guess, and I’ll deal with the ashes when I get out.”

“Okay,” Deran nodded. “I, uh, I talked to Pope. He’s on board. He’s not happy about it, but he’ll go along with it.”

“Good,” Now Adrian didn’t have to worry about being brutally murdered by his brother in law. “I hate that he got roped into this.”

“Me too,” Deran bowed his head in shame. “Renn was worried last night. She was wondering about the baby, what happens to the baby with you away….”

“Fuck,” He thought they would have more time to get things in order. “None of this was supposed to happen until _**after**_ the baby was born and we had all the adoption stuff taken care of.”

“I told her I’d take the baby once it was born,” Just as they had originally planned. “But I’m not going to have any legal way to get custody without you.”

“Right,” That could make things a tad more complicated if they let it. “Well, how does a jailhouse wedding sound to you?”

“A little warped with you the one in jail and not me,” Deran joked. “I thought you’d only marry for love.”

“I do love you,” They just didn’t say it as often as they should. “All the time we’ve got on our side, I didn’t think we needed some dumb piece of paper to prove we were it for each other, you know?”

“We don’t need a paper for that,” Deran agreed, smiling softly. “But your grandfather was right about one thing, it would make things simpler with the kid.”

“Yeah,” Adrian’s dear grandfather didn’t need to know that, though. “I’ll talk to the lawyer, see how we go about getting it done.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry about this, Deran,” It killed him to put his partner through hell all over again, and leaving him with even more to deal with this time around. “You didn’t sign up for being a single father.”

“Neither of us signed up for fatherhood when we made the deal with Pearce,” Deran reasoned. “It’s okay, Adrian. I’ll figure it out.”

“When I get home, maybe you can help me figure it out,” It had been over two decades since Adrian had cared for an infant, he was out of practice, to say the least. “Ten months was the deal. You’ll have, what, four or five months on your own with the kid? I’m sure the family will help out.”

“I hope so.”

“I signed us up for those parenting classes,” Granted, he had done that before Pearce decided to jump the gun and make the arrests way ahead of schedule. “You should still go.”

“Do I have to? I don’t want to go by myself,” Deran pouted like a child. “I’ll make Craig go with me. He could use the practice.”

“That’s a good idea,” They could both learn basic child rearing skills like diaper changing and swaddling. “I meant what I said about the name too, I want to name the kid Cameron, for you. You can choose the middle name.”

“I’ll have to give it some thought.”

“About the list…” Adrian trailed off, glancing at the two-way mirror, unsure of if there was anyone standing on the other side, listening in on their conversation. “Did you get it?”

“Yeah, it’s in a safe place,” Deran patted his jacket pocket. “Has Pearce gotten confirmation about Pope’s end of the deal?”

“He said he’d get back to me about it this afternoon,” Adrian had spoken to the detective briefly that morning while Deran was visiting with Pope. “Just hold onto it for now.”

“I will,” Deran assured him. “It’s the only bargaining chip we have.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen so soon,” Adrian shook his head, upset about the circumstances. “I thought we’d have more time to get things in order. I hate that I’m putting you through this again.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely getting the short end of the stick here,” Deran snorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s a shit situation all the way around, babe.”

“Ten months,” It felt like a lifetime now, but it was far better than the alternative. “Ten months till things are finally back to normal.”

“It’s gonna be a long ten months…” Deran mumbled, tightening his grip on Adrian’s hand. “You know, um, I was looking into the prison you’re being sent to, just checking the visitation requirements and stuff.”

“Yeah?”

“They’ve got classes you could take and some kind of shrink,” Deran broached the subject carefully. “Maybe you could pass the time with one or both of those.”

“Maybe,” Adrian had been taking classes the last time he was incarcerated, he could always continue on with them, it was the shrink he wasn’t so sure about. “You think I need to see a psychiatrist?”

“I think you’ve been through a lot these last few years,” Deran acknowledged thoughtfully. “And you’ve been putting off dealing with it, because we knew it wasn’t really over yet, but like you said, in ten months things will be back to normal…”

“Except me,” Yeah, he had been thinking about that too. “We haven’t talked about it. Even if I see this shrink, it’s still something we’re going to have to discuss at some point.”

“I know,” Deran bit into his bottom lip. “It’s just…it’s not easy for me think about you being hurt like that.”

“I don’t want you to think about me like that,” The thought of it made Adrian sick to his stomach. “You’ll never be able to be with me again if you think about it.”

“I’ve thought about it since the first time I saw it in your medical file.”

“And we haven’t done anything more than kiss and snuggle since I got out.”

“I didn’t think you were ready for anything more.”

“I’m not ready for anything more,” Adrian had healed physically from his last go around in prison, but mentally he still had a ways to go. “And I know it’s me. I know you’ve been waiting for me to make the first move. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Deran shook his head. “I get it. It takes time. I’m not mad or whatever. I’m just—This is not the right place for this conversation.”

“No, it’s not,” There wasn’t really a proper setting for the conversation, but if there was, it sure as hell wouldn’t be in an interrogation room. “Maybe it’ll be easier for us to talk about if we did it through letters or something while I’m away.”

“Maybe,” Deran nodded. “Is it a good idea for you to be in that headspace while you’re locked up?”

“I’m always in that headspace, Deran,” He had just learned to shove it down, pretend it didn’t affect him half as much as it had. “I’ll be okay. I’m not going to be alone this time. I trust Pope to have my back.”

“So do I.”

* * *

 

Deran had no plans to open the bar for the night, but being there seemed like a preferred alternative to going home to an empty house. It was best he stayed close to town anyway when he had meetings with lawyers and a trip to the morgue to make. Anything else on his to-do list could just as easily be done out of the bar as it could at home.

“S’up, bro?” Craig’s voice rang through the building. “How are the incarcerated?”

“Pissed off,” Deran responded as he scrolled through his cellphone. “And anxious, but trying to act tough.”

“So they’re good,” Craig nodded, leaning over the counter. “What are you up to?”

“I was making arrangement for Adrian’s dad,” All that really entailed was having the crematorium to pick up the body from the morgue when the cops were done with it. “Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t take you back to rehab last night.”

“It’s cool. You had other things on your mind,” Craig shrugged. “Renn’s going to drive me up in the morning.”

“Okay. Good.” That was one less thing for Deran to worry about. “I need to stay close to town anyway.”

“You, uh, you don’t seem that worried,” Craig mentioned. “About Pope and Adrian, I mean.”

“I’m worried,” It was hard not to given where they were and where they were going. “I’m just not losing my mind over it.”

“Like last time,” Craig murmured. “What’s different about this time?”

“It was planned,” He’d had months to mentally prepare himself for it. “Except for Pope.”

“It was supposed to be you,” Craig caught on. “But grandpa Dolan liked Pope more than he liked you, so Pope’s the one getting shafted.”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“So, Adrian turned snitch,” Craig accurately guessed. “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“It was the only way we could guarantee him a way out of his grandfather’s business,” Convincing Adrian to turn rat had not been an easy task for Deran. “And he wouldn’t join his grandfather’s business without a way out, so….”

“You guys did what you had to do,” Craig said non-judgmentally. “When are they getting released?”

“Ten months, then a few years of probation,” That was only if Pearce didn’t try to fuck them over somehow. “Anything less might seem suspicious to the rest of the organization.”

“Isn’t their lenient sentence going to seem suspicious anyway? I mean,” Craig scratched his head. “Adrian’s gramps is gonna want to find the nark in his organization. If Pope and Adrian are already going to be prime suspects because they’re the new guys, if they get shorter sentences than everyone else….”

“We’ve got a fall guy. Kelly’s second in command, Neil,” The choice of fall guys had been Adrian’s idea; he wouldn’t accept anyone else, partially because the guy had been working for Kelly since he was a teenager, and partly because he had been a total douchebag to Adrian the day they did the loyalty tests. “According to Pope, the dude’s been pretty vocal about how he believes Adrian’s an outsider who shouldn’t get to just show up and take over the organization.”

“Okay?”

“He’s pissed that Adrian was handed the position that he rightfully earned,” To be fair that was completely understandable. “Maybe he was so pissed off that he went looking for revenge against the guy who gave away his spot and anyone accepting Adrian as their future king.”

“So he decides to rat on the organization he thinks betrayed him,” Craig followed his line of thinking. “It’s a nice theory, but I doubt someone like Kelly Dolan is going to buy his #2 turning on him without proof.”

“Everything Adrian gave Pearce about Neil is low-level money stuff,” Neil was involved in a hell of a lot more than that, but if they wanted to make things work, he was downgraded to an accountant. “So unless he starts confessing to harsher crimes unprompted, he’s going to some country-club, white-collar prison for tax evaders, only getting two-to-five years while the others are getting fifteen-to-twenty or twenty-to-life.”

“But you said Pope and Adrian are only doing ten months,” Craig recalled. “That’s a hell of a lot less than that Neil guy. It still makes them look like the guilty ones.”

“The cops have been trying to build a case against Kelly for decades. That’s what all the intel gathered is going to look like, that it was put together over the course of years. Adrian and Pope have only been there a few months, and Kelly’s kept them on a tight leash, hasn’t let them in on half the shit the cops have evidence of now,” Most of what Adrian had given them was shit he found snooping around the compound and warehouses, or even from Kelly mouthing off about all this accomplishments as a successful business man. “None of it can actually be traced back to a singular person, let alone of them.”

“They get lighter sentences because Kelly didn’t trust them enough to let them in on every part of the business,” Craig concluded. “I’m surprised. That actually sounds like a good plan you and Adrian came up with.”

“Yeah, we were trying this new thing where we think instead of just reacting,” It was still in the beta test stage, but so far it had worked out nicely.

“You guys should do that thinking thing more often,“ Craig quipped with a cheeky grin. “What happens if that Neil guy figures out it was Adrian and comes looking for revenge when he gets out.”

“We’ll kill him,” They seemed to be doing a lot of that lately too. “Oh, uh, you said Renn was driving you back to rehab?”

“In the morning.”

“You can tell her Adrian and I figured out the custody stuff for the kid,” It wasn’t official or anything, but it would be soon enough. “She doesn’t need to stress about it. We’re not going to dump a baby on her lap.”

“I’ll let her know,” Craig nodded. “I don’t think she was too worried about having another kid to deal with though….”

“Just about me taking care of the kid?” Deran was about tired of his hypothetical parenting abilities being called into question. “Do you guys really think I’m going to be that bad at this shit?”

“We just think you might be getting in over your head. We’d think the same thing if it were Adrian doing the single-parent thing while you were in jail,” Craig claimed. “Both of you have been pretty anti-kid since you were kids. Fuck. You didn’t even like other kids when you were kids, that’s why none of your other little friends stuck around long.”

“Our other friends couldn’t keep up with us,” When Deran and Adrian were kids, they were always raring to go somewhere and do something, couldn’t keep still unless their asses were planted on a surfboard in the water waiting for the perfect wave. “Just because we didn’t want kids doesn’t mean we’ll suck at it.”

“I never said it did.”

“We’re making an effort to not suck at it,” There were steps they were taking to make sure they could accomplish at least the bare minimum. “We pre-ordered stuff for the nursery. I’m taking a parenting class. I was supposed to take it with Adrian, but since he’s gone, I’m taking it with you.”

“Sorry, what?” Craig faltered, believing he had misheard what Deran had said. “We’re doing what?”

“Adrian signed us up for some dumbass parenting class,” The reasoning had something to do with being able to change a diaper or some shit. “Since he’s not going to be able to take it now, we decided you could take it with me, since you’ve already got a kid and know absolutely nothing about how to take care of her.”

“I took care of you.”

“That was twenty-seven years ago,” His brother had lost an awful lot of brain cells in that time. “You could use a refresher course.”

“Fine,” Craig sighed, sagging over the countertop. “When are these classes supposed to start?”

“Couple weeks,” The exact date was saved on the calendar on Adrian’s phone. “We’ll have to work something out with the rehab facility to get you passes out for those days.”

“Maybe we won’t have to do that,” Craig replied. “I think I’ll be ready to come home within a few weeks.”

“Don’t push yourself.”

“I’m not, that’s why I’m giving it a few more weeks,” Craig reasoned. “I want to come home, I just need to be sure. If, in a few weeks, I’m not ready, I’ll stay a little longer.”

“Okay.”

“Man, I know there’s been a lot of bullshit between us these last few months, and a lot of it’s my fault,” Craig accepted the blame for the wall that Deran had built between them. “But we both are gonna need some help with this dad shit, so maybe that could help us get back to being brothers or something.”

“Yeah,” Deran had to admit, he’d missed spending time with his older brother. “I want that, too.”

“Good,” Craig smiled brightly. “’Cause with Pope in lockup, we’re the only ones Smurf’s got to play with.”

“You could have worded that differently,” Deran remarked, glancing down at the caller ID on his phone as it began to ring in his hand. “It’s the lawyer.”

“Better answer it.”

* * *

 

Adrian’s appointment with his lawyer and the district attorney had taken a hell of a lot longer than he had anticipated. However, once Deran had delivered the list of buyers and sellers of the Dolan organization’s weapon stock, things went far more smoothly. When Adrian was finally taken back to the holding cell, there had been some rearrangements.

Pope was now alone, sitting ramrod straight in the same spot he’d been in when Adrian had been taken from the cell earlier in the day. Kelly was notably absent, which would have been concerning had the entire station not heard the commotion his attorney made about getting him a private cell until his arraignment, so he wouldn’t have to mingle with common criminals.

“Finalized the deal,” It was a small consolation, Adrian knew that, but it was all he had for the other man. “We’ll do ten months, so long as we don’t get into any trouble while we’re inside.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” Pope muttered, staring up at the ceiling.

“I’m really sorry about this, Pope,” If there had been a way for Adrian to keep every Cody out of it, he would have, but they all seemed to get off on sticking their nose into his business. “I didn’t want things to be like this.”

“I know that, all right?” Pope grumbled, lowering his eyes to look at him. “Doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off.”

“I know,” He had every right to be angry. “You’re the last Cody I wanted to be locked up in here with.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“No, that wasn’t a knock against you,” Adrian was actually quite fond of Pope. “It’s because you’ve done time. I won’t presume to know what happened to you while you were inside, but I know what happened to me and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.”

“Not even your grandfather?” Pope asked, raising a brow. “He either doesn’t know you well enough to understand what you were really saying last night when you were talking about loyalty, or he doesn’t think you would make the effort for someone like your father.”

“My dad and me were getting along these last few months,” It was the longest they had gone without fighting and cursing each other’s existence in Adrian’s entire life. “But I still hated him for all the shit he pulled on me and Jess and Mom.”

“He was a piece of shit, but he was piece of his. He was your family,” Pope said sympathetically. “If it were Smurf, as much as I want her dead, I would kill anyone else who tried to hurt her.”

“Kelly murdered his own son without a second thought over a flimsy excuse for betrayal,” It was beyond heartless and cold-blooded. “Someone who can do that…. There’s no telling which one of us he’ll murder next for whatever reason he can conjure in his mind. Maybe it’ll be Jess, because I choose not to go along with one of his plans and he wants to hurt me. It could be Deran or one of the kids—“

“I get it,” Pope held up a hand to silence him. “I thought about killing Smurf after I found out she killed Baz. I bought the stuff for it and everything.”

“So why didn’t you?” Adrian was well aware that where their mother was concerned, the Cody men were weak, but they had to draw a line somewhere. “She killed one of you. She must have had a really good reason for you guys to let her get away with that.”

“She had him killed because he stole money from her--”

“That’s a flimsier excuse than Kelly had to kill my dad,” In Adrian’s opinion, money wasn’t a good enough reason to take out a member of your own family. “Plus, you said J’s stolen from her too, and he’s still kicking. How come he got a pass?”

“He’s blood,” Pope huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’ll be dealt with. So will Smurf, in time.”

“Right,” He would have to forgive Adrian for not believing a word of that. “Speaking of Smurf. Do we need to worry about her getting suspicious about why you sent the lawyer she paid for away?”

“No,” Pope shook his head. “I told her Kelly has a team of high-powered lawyers on retainer for this purpose, and one that already had the specifics of the case was representing me.”

“Good,” The last thing they needed was her poking holes in their story and Kelly getting wind of it.

“Back to your grandfather,” Pope brought the conversation back around. “If you need someone to take care of it—“

“I don’t,” Hank was his father and Kelly was his grandfather, it was Adrian’s responsibility to make things right. “I can do it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m getting pretty good at it.”

“Just don’t get used to it.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

* * *

 

Deran dragged himself home in late hours of the night. He couldn’t bring himself to enter the pitch black house and crawl into his cold, empty bed all alone. He settled into a lawn chair on the deck instead with a lukewarm vodka he’d taken from the bar.

He took a long pull off the bottle, glared up at the night sky like it had personally offended him, and thought back to the night he and Adrian had put the plan that was currently putting their lives on hold into motion.

_He’d awoken with a start, Adrian’s heart beating a mile a minute beneath his ear._

“ _I can’t do it,” Adrian gasped, breath caught in his throat. “I can’t do it.”_

“ _Hmm?” Deran mumbled, lifting his head from where it rested on Adrian’s chest. “What’d you say?”_

“ _I can’t do it,” Adrian breathed out, tugging at the collar of his hospital gown as if it were suffocating him. “I can’t do it this way. I can’t come home this way.”_

“ _By joining the business?” Deran questioned, scrubbing sleep from his eyes. “We agreed it was the best option.”_

“ _I can’t trade one prison for another. This time there will be no way out,” Adrian whined pitifully and uncharacteristically. “Once I finish out my sentence, it’ll be done, over. My grandfather’s organization, it’s not something I can just walk away from later. I’d be in it for life.”_

“ _We’ll find you a way out.”_

“ _It’s not that simple, Deran, you know that,” Adrian shoved him away, nearly ripping out one of his IV’s in the process. “I can’t…. I’ll do the time, okay? I-I can find a way. I can t-take the…I can take it. I can. I will. I-I’ll do it. I c-can do it. I can.”_

“ _No, you can’t, you said as much when you woke up,” Deran pushed himself up until he was sitting, leaned against Adrian’s thighs. “You nearly died this time, Adrian.”_

“ _But I didn’t,” It was a close call for sure, but he was still painfully alive. “I don’t want to be involved in guns and drugs, and if I use my grandfather as a get-out-of-jail free card, I’ll be stuck with it for the rest of my life.”_

“ _You’re not going back to jail,” Deran said firmly, leaving no room for argument. “You have to take your grandfather up on his offer. We just need an exit strategy.”_

“ _The only exit strategy out of Kelly’s organization is a coffin or turning rat,” Adrian sneered. “Being a snitch goes against everything either of us has ever been taught.”_

“ _If it keeps you out of prison, I don’t give a fuck,” Deran stared pointedly at the handcuff attached to Adrian’s wrist and the bed railing. “You’ve got no loyalty to this guy. He’s a bastard, right? He’s worse than your old man?”_

“ _He sells guns and drugs, Deran, so, yeah, he’s worse than both our parents,” The man had no morals whatsoever. “He’s the reason Hank is the son of a bitch he is.”_

“ _And he let you suffer in prison when he could’ve used his influence or his money to protect you or get you out,” Deran growled, fingers twisting in the hospital blanket. “He didn’t protect you. You have no reason to protect him.”_

“ _You want me to rat?_ _ **You**_ _?”_

“ _I want you out of jail. I want_ _ **our**_ _life back. I want you to have your life back,” Deran wanted the last sixteen months back, but he couldn’t have that, so he would take the rest of their lives instead. “If you have to flip on some piece of shit like him to do that, then fine.”_

“ _I can’t flip on him when I have nothing on him,” As it stood, they were only aware of what Kelly Dolan’s organization was into, they had no evidence to prove it, and their word meant jackshit in the grand scheme of things. “Unless….”_

“ _Unless you take him up on his offer, work with him for awhile, gather intel,” It was a dirty, underhanded play, something Deran would never consider under any other circumstance. “Turn it into the cops when you have enough to get out.”_

“ _He’s going to use Pearce’s past relationship with Smurf to get me out of jail,” Adrian grimaced, remembering the intimate details given about that relationship. “What if we…what if we got to Pearce first? We could warn him about it.”_

“ _Why would we do that if it’s your only way out of jail?”_

“ _If we’re going to do this, it’ll be safer if we had a cop on our side. Why not one that’s already deeply involved and has more to lose than us?” Adrian suggested. “We do this above board. We tell Pearce what’s going on, promise him a huge career boost when we hand Kelly’s organization to him on a silver platter. He can come clean to his superiors about his relationship with Smurf before Kelly uses it. He can get his bosses to play along, pretend to demote him and releasing me from prison, by telling them he’s got Kelly on the hook through me.”_

“ _Okay,” Deran nodded, going over the plan in his head. “I call your attorney in the morning, have her set up a private meeting with Pearce before Kelly makes his move to get him fired.”_

“ _Deran, you know there’s no way this ends without me spending a little more time in prison, right?” Adrian met his tired eyes. “If Kelly and his men get arrested after I start working for them, but I don’t, it’s going to look more than a little suspicious. They will rightfully pin me as the rat and they will execute me and anyone close to me. I’ll have to go away with them, for a few months at least.”_

“ _No,” Deran shook his head, in denial. “No. You’re not going back.”_

“ _It won’t be like it has been. If I get rounded up with the rest of the organization, they’ll still think I’m one of them, and I’ll have their protection inside,” That was exactly what Adrian had been lacking throughout his current incarceration. “And when I get out, if I still have their trust, we’ll still have some power.”_

“ _What kind of power?”_

“ _The kind that can keep Smurf at bay,” She was going to be a constant thorn in their side until the day she died unless they found a way to defend themselves. “This is the sacrifice we have to make to come out ahead.”_

“The sacrifice we have to make…” Deran mumbled to himself, bringing the bottle up to toast the moon. “Fuck sacrifices.”


	10. built to last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> Chapter title comes from [Built to Last by Redlight King](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKKmOMtqkgQ&list=OLAK5uy_nu8Ieu4MCoIlwhbBK6yYjN4oocGxeen20&index=8&t=0s)  
> Gif Sets: [Sweet](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/184303777201/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-sweet-you-can-just-admit), [Shared Skills](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/184362674641/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-shared-skills), [Giraffe](https://stilinski-ortiz-dolan.tumblr.com/post/184419554001/animal-kingdom-fic-scene-giraffe-craig-bought)

Deran had sat outside the prison for hours before Adrian and Pope finally stepped through the gates. The hours spent in the stifling hot car were well worth it to see the grin on Adrian’s face when he caught sight of the Wagoneer in the parking lot. Deran had the passenger side doors open and ready for them so they didn’t have to spend more time there than necessary.

“I lived,” Adrian announced jovially, sliding into the front seat. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Shit, I thought Pope would’ve killed you two months in so I remarried,” Deran quipped, turning the key in the ignition once his brother climbed into the back. “Don’t worry, I think you’re really gonna like this guy.”

“Haha,” Adrian rolled his eyes. “You have my car.”

“Yeah, and your sister is now the proud owner of a hybrid SUV,” Deran replied, backing out of the space and heading out of the prison lot. “It’s got a better safety rating than this piece of crap.”

“Then why is there a car seat back here?” Pope asked, buckling his safety belt. “You’ll let your kid ride in this unsafe piece of crap?”

“Hey, my car is perfectly safe,” Adrian claimed, skimming his hand over the dashboard. “Safer than Deran’s van.”

“The van only has the two seats and the cops pulled me over when I had the car seat in one,” The patrol cop had scolded Deran like a child for having the carrier in the front seat. “The baby wasn’t even in it. I was practicing installing the goddamn thing and when I finally got it, I wanted to show Jess and Renn that I could do it.”

“You needed validation, I get it,” Adrian patted his leg. “It’s good you’re using the Wagon now.”

“I’m not. I put the car seat in here for you,” There was no way in hell Deran would drive that ancient hunk of junk around regularly. “I’ve got a new car too.”

“Sounds like everyone spent a lot of money while we were away,” Pope grumbled, glancing out the window at the passing scenery. “Where are we going?”

“Adrian and I are going home,” And no one was coming with them, not even his brother. “I was going to drop you off at Smurf’s or—“

“I don’t want to see Smurf yet,” Pope shot down that idea. “Drop me off at the beach or your bar or something.”

“You’ve gotta be at Smurf’s for dinner tonight,” They would all have to be there for dinner that night. “I can take you to your place until then, though.”

“My place?” Pope questioned curiously. “I thought Craig moved into Baz’s?”

“He did,” Deran had helped Craig officially move into the place after he checked himself out of rehab. “We got you a place, so you wouldn’t have to live with Smurf.”

“I have to live with Smurf,” Pope mumbled, sounding dejected. “It was the deal I made with her to keep her from going after Lena.”

“Lena is safe and far out of Smurf’s reach,” Deran assured his older brother. “You don’t have to worry about her.”

“If things go well, Smurf won’t be much of a problem soon,” Adrian said hopefully. “She’s going to learn about boundaries.”

“He did a lot of plotting while we were away,” Pope revealed Adrian’s extracurricular activities. “Some of what he came up with wasn’t bad, but it could still backfire.”

“Things usually do when any of us are involved.”

* * *

 

Bathing in the privacy of his own home was a dream come true after ten months of communal showers. The warm water felt so much like heaven that Adrian stayed in there until it turned cold. Afterward, he puttered around the house in a towel, taking in the changes Deran had made while he was away.

There were framed photographs lining the walls, ones Adrian had taken in his youth that had not been decorating their home when he’d gone away. There were baby blankets thrown over the couch and a play mat with toys piled on top of it. Adrian had known about the changes ahead of time of course, but it was strange to see them in person. To fight nagging feelings of unfamiliarity, he moved to the one area of the house he knew couldn’t have changed much, the master bedroom.

Deran was the only thing on display in their shared room. He was laid out on the bed like a present waiting to be opened, relaxed and comfortable, a flirtatious smile spread across his lips.

“Shoes off the blankets,” Adrian nudged Deran’s leg as he crawled into bed beside him. “You’re getting dirt all over ‘em.”

“Can’t have that,” Deran obediently toed off his sneakers and kicked them to the floor. “Happy now?”

“Almost,” He grinned, swinging a leg over Deran’s to straddle his hips. “You game?”

“You sure you’re ready?” Deran asked, tugging the towel free from Adrian’s waist. “You said before that we should talk first.”

“We did enough talking while I was away,” Adrian was ready to move onto something of the physical nature. “Like this, though, okay? I mean, not exactly like this if you don’t want, but in a position where we can both see each other.”

“Yeah,” Deran licked his lips, caressing the skin of Adrian’s abdomen, up his torso and chest, stopping only when he reached the dark band of raised skin on his throat. “Okay...”

“I can put on a shirt or something,” Adrian volunteered, suddenly feeling self-conscious with his scars on display. “I’ll get a shirt.”

“No!” Deran latched his hands firmly around Adrian’s hips to keep him in place. “No shirt. No clothes. Nothing.”

“You’re the only one wearing clothes,” Adrian pointed out as he worked the button and zipper on Deran’s jeans. “I was expecting to find you naked already, star-fished on the bed with a bottle of lube in your hands.”

“I thought about it,” Deran grunted, lifting his hips so Adrian could yank his pants and briefs off his legs. “Didn’t want to make any assumptions.”

“I appreciate that,” He leaned over Deran, pressing their lips together in the first kiss they shared in ten very long months.

“Wait, wait,” Deran broke the kiss, pulling away briefly to strip off his shirt. “Okay. Come back.”

“Wasn’t going anywhere,” Adrian murmured, carding his fingers through Deran’s grease-slick hair. “You still haven’t learned to take a goddamn shower…”

“Oh my god,” Deran groaned, rolling Adrian onto his back and fitting himself into place between his thighs. “No more talking.”

* * *

 

Deran had Adrian’s first day home planned for weeks. There was a short trip home so he could get his bearings back, followed by a couple hours of surfing at the beach to revel in his freedom the way they always had. Once they were done surfing…well, they’d get to that once they were done surfing.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice all the baby stuff around the house,” Adrian mentioned as he took his surfboard from the back of the van. “But, uh, no baby.”

“Cam’s with your sister,” Deran had wanted some alone time with Adrian before their families got to him. “She’ll bring him by the house when we get done at the shop.”

“Craig’s shop?”

“Yours and Craig’s,” Deran had put up half the money for the place when Craig was ready to make a career for himself. “You’re equal partners.”

“Cool.“

“You could have had your own surf shop,” Deran hadn’t been too sure about going into business with his newly sober brother at first. “But I didn’t think you’d want to compete with Craig.”

“I don’t mind competing with Craig. It’s Tao I don’t want to be at odds with, he’s been real good to me, gave me a job and a vocation,” Adrian’s face fell at the thought that he’d hurt his former bosses business by opening one of his own. “Plus, with a kid in the picture, we can’t really be making a lot of big purchases like a new business on our own. We gotta think in the long term.”

“As our finances are now, I agree with that,” However, a few months ago, for a short time, their finances looked drastically different. “But for about a minute after your grandpa croaked, you were stupidly wealthy.”

“Oh yeah?” Adrian raised a brow. “Only a minute?”

“Well, when you guys got popped, they put you all under a microscope, and there were a lot discrepancies regarding Kelly’s assets and shit,” The feds had set out to account for every single dime Kelly ever made. “Your and Jess’s inheritance would have been those assets, the compound, and his businesses, but they determined it was all bought and/or paid for with illegally obtained funds. So the government took it all to pay off taxes he didn’t pay on his ‘undeclared income’ or some shit. I’m not really sure of the logistics. All I know is you get jackshit.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I married into money.”

“Yeah, you wish,” They were well off, sure, but only because of Deran’s not-so legal job. “I gotta pull heists just to make payroll at the bar.”

“Why don’t I handle the finances from now on?” Adrian suggested. “Not that I think you’re bad with money, it’s just…”

“I’m bad with money,” Deran couldn’t balance a checkbook to save his life. “I’ll, uh, have to show you how to do the books at the bar and stuff, it’s not, uh---“

“I know how to cook the books, Deran,” Adrian smirked. “You’re not the only one with crooks in the family. Money laundering was one of the first things Kelly taught me.”

“Oh, right,” Deran had forgotten about that. “Okay, well, staying on the topic of money. You were the beneficiary for your grandfather’s life insurance, but since it was a ruled a suicide, the company won’t pay out. You were the beneficiary of your dad’s too and you did get that check. A check with a lot of zeros. _**A lot**_ of zeros.”

“I know, it made me suspect in his murder for a hot second,” Adrian retorted wryly. “I’m not sure if it’s because I took that policy out on him or if Pearce just wanted to mess with me.”

“Probably a little bit of both,” Pearce was a vindictive asshole when he wanted to be. “You told me to give it to your sister, but she decided to put in trusts for Cam and Joseph.”

“We went from trailer trash to trust fund people in just a few years,” Adrian said proudly. “We Dolans are moving up in the world. What’s left of us anyway.”

“Have you decided what you want to do with your dad’s ashes?” Deran hadn’t wanted to bother him with it while he was in prison, so the remains were still in his possession. “We can toss them in the ocean or bury them or leave them where they are. Whatever you want, babe.”

“Where are they now?”

“In an antique Budweiser beer stein in the garage,” It creeped Deran out to have them in the house. “Your stepmom found the beer stein on eBay.”

“It does seem like an appropriate urn for him,” Adrian acknowledged, chewing on his bottom lip. “If I didn’t know he’d been murdered at the cabin, I would’ve said take him up there, but maybe he should stay in the garage for now.”

“I got his trailer in storage,” He would’ve sold it, but thought it might hold sentimental value for the Dolan kids. “We could always light it up like a funeral pyre, toss the ashes and his shit inside of it.”

“Could do that,” Adrian nodded. “I’ll talk to Mom and Jess about it.”

“You talk to your stepmom much while you were inside?” Aside from himself and Jess, Deran wasn’t aware of anyone else visiting Adrian. “She talked to you about the club, right?”

“Her strip club? No,” Adrian tilted his head to the side. “What about it?”

“She made us part owners,” Deran had seen it as a sweet gesture at the time, but he wasn’t quite sure what his partner would think about it. “Her wedding gift to us.”

“What every newlywed couple needs, a strip club that caters to men and women,” Adrian commented. “Can’t imagine what your mom got for us.”

“Uh, about that,” Deran took a few cautious steps toward the shoreline. “Smurf’s not really…aware…of that particular change in our relationship.”

“You didn’t tell her about us,” Adrian sighed heavily. “You didn’t tell her we got married.”

“I was going to,” He had gotten all the way to the driveway of her house before he’d decided he wasn’t the right person for that job. “I thought watching her head explode would be a nice pick-me-up for you when you got out.”

“That’s sweet. Bullshit, but sweet,” Adrian snorted. “You can just admit you’re a coward, Deran. I won’t fault you for it.”

“Okay, I was afraid to tell her,” To be fair, he had been all alone with Craig in rehab and Pope in jail, he had no one to back him up. “She took the news of us moving into together too easily. She was little bitchy about the kid, but got over it quickly. Throw one more thing at her about us and she might fly off the handle.”

“Or she’s going to be calm, because she really doesn’t give a fuck,” Adrian offered him a truly outlandish theory. “You always act like world’s going to end if Smurf finds out you’ve done with something without her permission.”

“She might not care that we’ve gotten married,” Deran did not think that would be the case, but he would play along with Adrian’s crazed delusion for a moment. “She might freak if she knew I took your last name.”

“She might see it as a change of ownership,” Adrian surmised. “Did you take my last name?”

“No.”

“Then what does it matter?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going into the water,” Adrian adjusted the surfboard under his arm. “I think you’ve spent too much time in the sun already, ‘cause you’re not making any sense.”

“I’m making plenty sense.”

* * *

 

Adrian and Craig’s newly acquired surf shop bore an uncanny resemblance to Real Surf, mainly because it was the exact same place.

“You bought out Tao?” Adrian never wanted his own shop at the expense of his friend. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Deran’s idea,” Craig held up his hands defensively. “I just put up some of the cash.”

“We didn’t snake the place out from under him. He got paid generously,” Deran argued, stepping behind the counter. “And before you ask, yes, we bought the building from Smurf.”

“Paid triple what it was worth,” Craig scoffed at his brother’s stupidity. “She only asked for half, said it was the family discount, but Deran decided paying her a shit ton more than the asking price was a good way to stick it to her.”

“That’s why I’m in charge of the money now,” Adrian would have to take a good long look at their finances to see what else Deran was spending money on. “Tao busted his ass for this place, Deran.”

“And now so will you and Craig,” Deran shrugged, obviously not seeing what the problem was. “This deal was closed months ago, Adrian, we can’t take it back now.”

“You should’ve told me,” Adrian would have preferred to go into business with Tao rather than take his business from him. “You guys haven’t run it into the ground yet, that’s good.”

“Thanks,” Craig scowled. “It’s good to know you’ve got faith in us.”

“I do,” It just wasn’t blind faith. “Hey, look, we need to talk about how we’re going to handle Smurf.”

“Should Pope be here?”

“Pope already knows the plan,” Adrian had bounced ideas off him while they were trapped in their shared cell together. “I was right about us coming out of this with some power.”

“The organization died with Kelly, right?” Deran questioned, leaning over the counter. “He _**supposedly**_ killed himself before his arraignment hearing, and then all his underlings couldn’t make deals to rat out the rest of their crew fast enough.”

“They were like chickens with their heads cut off without boss man to scare them silent,” That’s what happened when loyalty was born from fear not trust. “As far as everyone knows, though, Pope and I kept our mouths shut. We remained loyal even after Kelly was put into the ground. His associates from other organizations recognized that and reached out to offer their support.”

“Support?” Craig cocked his head like a curious puppy. “What kind of support?”

“With Pope and me on parole and most of our foot soldiers turned rat, it just doesn’t make sense to try to rebuild the business from the ground up,” There was no money, no product, and too much risk involved. “So, out of respect for Kelly and our continued silence, they agreed Oceanside would remain our territory, so long as they could continue to use it as a transfer point for their shipments. And they’ll have our back if we ever got into a beef with someone or decided to jump back into the business.”

“A beef with someone like Smurf,” Deran deduced easily. “What exactly do you plan to have them do to her?”

“Nothing,” Adrian wouldn’t harm Smurf or have anyone else do it for him, that’s not the kind of person he was. “It’s what she thinks we’ll have done to her that matters. We set guidelines, get Pope free of her, and she can continue on as she has been.”

“If she refuses?”

“It’s going to become very difficult for her to pull a heist in this town,” Adrian had contacts now, people unafraid to interfere with Smurf’s business if it were needed. “We’re all going to learn to peacefully coexist without more bloodshed.”

“Prison turned you into an optimist,” Craig grimaced. “You try that shit on Smurf at dinner tonight, she might shoot you dead right at the table.”

“What dinner?”

“Smurf’s ‘welcome home’ dinner for Pope,” Deran clarified, drumming his fingers on the counter. “Actually, it’s the perfect arena. You can hit her with everything all at once. So long as you have the baby in your arms at all times, there’s a fifty-fifty chance she won’t kill you.”

“I’ll take those odds.”

* * *

 

Deran had been there when his son had come into the world, but it wasn’t by choice. He’d been at the bar doing inventory when he had gotten the call about Renn being in labor, his only response had been to tell the person on the other end of the line to call him when the kid was actually there. Ten minutes later, Jess Dolan had stormed into the storage room and quite literally dragged him out by his hair while firing off a string of inventive curse words he was sure neither of them were old enough to hear let alone say.

Fear had cut through him like a knife when he’d watch the baby inhale his first breath and listened to him let out an ear-piercing wail. No parenting class in the world could have prepared him for the sheer terror of being handed a tiny, breakable, infant that was his responsibility to protect and mold into a little person. Every part of him had wanted to run away screaming, to get in his van and drive as far away as possible because there was no way in hell he could take care of a kid and not fuck it up, and what the fuck did he know about babies anyway?

It was Jess that had kept him in check. She didn’t give him room to breathe, stayed on him every single day until he’d brought the baby home, and then every day after that. He was grateful for the help, even if he didn’t show it enough. If it hadn’t been for her, he doubted he would have lasted very long in the single-parent racket. Her good-natured nagging and badgering didn’t work as well on Adrian as it had him.

Adrian had flat out refused to let them bring the baby to the prison to see him. It didn’t matter that there was a special room specifically for family visits, Adrian had remained adamant that he would not meet his son for the first time wearing a prison-issued uniform and surrounded by guards. While Jess had loudly voiced her disapproval of that decision, Deran had respected it and kept his husband updated on their son’s milestones and growth through photographs and stories.

It wasn’t until they returned home and saw Jess waiting for them with their son nestled in her arms that Deran realized Adrian had been right to wait. A prison setting was harsh and unfriendly. Their home was warm and safe, it would have been the perfect setting if Adrian didn’t look like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

There was a hesitation in Adrian’s movements that Deran had never witnessed before. He dragged his feet as he crossed the lawn, meeting Jess half way if only out of obligation. There was apprehension and bone-deep fear on his face as his sister held the infant out to him. He glanced over his shoulder at Deran, his expression timid and unsure, questioning, as if he wasn’t sure he had permission to do what Jess expected him to.

Deran responded by sweeping the infant out his sister-in-law’s arms in a practiced move and dumping him in Adrian’s into without warning. Luckily, Adrian’s reflexes were as good as they ever were and he managed to get a good hold of the infant before he could tumble to the ground.

“Jesus Christ,” Adrian gasped, cradling the baby close to his chest and glaring daggers at Deran. “What the hell?”

“Don’t fucking swear in front of the baby,” Deran drawled sardonically. “I do it enough as it is.”

“Say hello to your son,” Jess instructed her brother as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss her brother’s cheek. “He’s been waiting a long time to meet you.”

“H-Hey, Cam,” Adrian spoke softly to their son. “I’m your other dad or whatever. Deran—Uh, your dad—your other dad and I haven’t really discussed what you’d call us.”

“Yeah, the double-dad thing might be a problem when he starts talking,” Deran wasn’t too worried about it at the moment. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I would love to stay here with three out of four of my favorite guys, but I need to go,” Jess pouted, smoothing her hand over Cameron’s chubby arm. “I need to go pick up Joseph.”

“You should’ve brought him,” Adrian told her. “I would’ve loved to see him.”

“You will see him soon,” Jess promised, kissing his cheek once more. “I wanted to give you some time with your own son, but I’ll bring him by tomorrow. Okay? I’m glad your home. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Adrian adjusted the baby so he could wrap his sister in a one-armed hug. “Thanks for helping Deran with the kid.”

“No problem.”

As Jess made her way to her car, Deran saw her glance back to her brother and nephew more than once, afraid to let them out of her sight. He could see how badly she wanted to stay, to be near her brother, but she also understood that Adrian needed that time to make up for what he missed with his son.

“Do you want to go inside?” Deran asked, watching Jess pull her car out of the driveway. “I can make you something to eat.”

“I think I want to stay out here,” Adrian carefully lowered himself to the ground, sitting cross-legged in the grass with the baby in his lap. “It’s a nice day.”

“Okay, we’ll stay out here,” Deran nodded, making a spot for himself next to his husband and son on the lawn. “I gotta say, you make a cute kid.”

“I do, don’t I?” Adrian smiled shyly. “You showed me pictures and all, but it still strange that he’s real.”

“Oh, it’ll get real for you very soon,” Deran was planning to give him a fun little reality check. “You are on dirty-diaper duty until he can be potty trained. There’s nothing more real than the smell of a shitty diaper.”

“I think I can handle some dirty diapers.”

“You’re gonna eat those words,” And Deran was going to laugh his ass off when he did. “Jess has been looking after him while I work at the bar, but I figure, since you’ll be working days at the shop and I’m nights at the bar, I’ve got the day shift with him, you get the nights.”

“Okay,” Adrian nodded, rubbing his cheek against the baby’s hair. “He sleep through the night?”

“Most nights, yeah,” There were a few nights he liked to keep Deran up until the crack of dawn. “As every parent in our lives has been happy to tell me: he’s an easy baby.”

“Every parent?” Adrian narrowed his eyes. “Smurf?”

“She’s seen him, but she’s never held him,” Deran had gone to great lengths to prevent her from holding his son before Adrian had a chance to. “And she’s never been alone with him.”

“Good,” Adrian breathed a sigh of relief. “Has my mom spent much time with him?”

“Adrianna comes around once in a while, doesn’t say much, just sits in the rocking chair and holds him,” Deran never knew what to say to her when she came over, it’s not like they’d ever been close. “Your dad’s death hit her pretty hard, but she hasn’t relapsed, Craig’s seen her at N.A. meetings.”

“She and Dad were an awful couple, but they really loved each other,” Adrian sniveled. “I’ll go check in on her tomorrow, make sure she’s okay. And thank you for looking out for her, for all them.”

“Thanks for looking out for Pope,” Deran wasn’t sure either Pope or Adrian would’ve survived another bout in prison without each other. “How was that, being locked in a cell with my brother for ten months?”

“It was rough at first,” Adrian confessed, playing absently with Cam’s bare feet, inspecting his toes like he’d never seen something so tiny. “It took awhile for it to really sink in that things were different, that it wouldn’t be as bad for us as it was the last time. We still had bad days, the past would sneak up on us and we’d…we’d have to pull each other back so we didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“That shrink helped a lot too,” Adrian sidestepped the question. “I didn’t really like talking to her, she said getting me to open up was like pulling teeth with no anesthesia, but I guess it helped. She gave me some numbers to call when I got out, thinks I should continue seeing someone.”

“If it helps, you should do it,” Deran wasn’t a therapy kind of person, but he wasn’t going to judge Adrian for it if it was what he needed. “Do they want you on meds or some shit?”

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Adrian shrugged. “I think I’ll be okay.”

“You seem better this time.”

“I wasn’t really free last time. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was right back in that cell and knowing that made me feel like I was suffocating,” Adrian confessed, eyes filling with tears. “This time I’m not going anywhere. I get to stay. I get to stay here with you an-and Cam, and I…I can breathe. I can breathe for the first time in a really long time.”

* * *

 

Adrian didn’t like Smurf, Smurf didn’t like him, those were facts. He had a theory that Smurf despised him because of his unwillingness to show her fear, his refusal to cower or bend to her will, even as a small child. He knew his disdain for her stemmed from observing the disgusting way she treated her children like they owed her every bit of themselves because she had given them life.

They never hid their mutual aversion to one another from each other or anyone else, choosing to wear it on their sleeves openly for all to see. That wasn’t to say they were at each other’s throats all the time, usually they just ignored each other, for Deran’s sake. Other times, however, they each took a special kind of pleasure in a verbal sparring match of snark and sass.

“It’s so nice of you to help with dinner, baby,” Smurf smiled sweetly, like she wasn’t the devil incarnate. “Even though you weren’t invited.”

“I was told it was a family dinner to welcome Pope home,” Adrian flashed her a cheeky grin, knowing his presence was getting on her nerves if she was bringing it up. “We’re all family here.”

“My son allowed you to move into his home, he minded your child while you were away, but that doesn’t really make you family,” Smurf noted, turning her nose up at him. “Neither does crashing Pope’s welcome home dinner when you are the reason he was incarcerated.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Pope grumbled from the kitchen table. “It was Deran’s fault.”

“There’s a lot of fault to go around,” Deran claimed, balancing Cameron on his knee. “Let’s leave it at that.”

“We’re out now,” Pope muttered, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “That’s all that matters. Just give it a rest.”

“Sure, baby,” Smurf said amicably before turning her focus back to Adrian. “So, you learn anything new in prison, sweetheart?”

“How to make murder look like suicide,” That was a handy was a little trick he’d taught himself prior to being transferred from the of county jail to the state penitentiary.

“A skill we share,” The Cody matriarch smirked. “It’s a very useful skill, have you noticed?”

“I have,” It had been useful to him on the one occasion he had chosen to use it.

“A few short days after you and Pope were arrested, there was a newspaper article announcing your grandfather Kelly’s untimely passing,” Smurf mentioned casually. “That was a suicide, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” At least that’s what Adrian made it look like. "He felt so guilty over murdering his own son that he hanged himself in his cell."

To the detectives and prison guards, Kelly tied a makeshift noose around his own neck in his cell because carrying the weight of his son’s execution had become too much for him to bear. The note found beside his body had been grieving father’s apology to his son for all the wrongs he had committed against him throughout his life, as well as heartbreaking and tragic confession to his murder. The fact that Adrian was the one who wrote the note and Kelly was incapable of feeling human emotion was irrelevant to the point Adrian was trying to make.

"Guilty?" Smurf chortled, leaning back against the countertop.

"It's a feeling of remorse and responsibility for a wrong you have committed," Adrian explained in simple terms, like she were a child. "Only people with some semblance of a conscience are capable of feeling it, so I wouldn't expect you to understand."

“Ouch,” Craig cringed at the insult lobbed in his mother’s direction. “And he was being so polite…”

“That’s how he gets you,” Deran let his brother in on Adrian’s tell. “He does the super polite thing right before he verbally bitch slaps you.”

“It’s not fun being on the receiving end of that,” Pope muttered, speaking from experience. “He’s lucky I didn’t bitch slap him for real.”

“I’m glad you were able to restrain yourself,” Deran retorted sarcastically. “I wasn’t joking this morning when I said I thought you would’ve killed him.”

“It was easier to put up with him than it would be to deal with your whining and moping if I had killed him,” Pope reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders. “You being crybaby saved his life.”

“Thanks?”

“If you hens are finished pecking,” Smurf glowered at her children. “You can set the table.”

“I’ll take the baby,” Adrian offered, scooping his son out of Deran’s arms. “Hey, buddy.”

“Deran’s done a good job with your son since you’ve been a way,” Smurf praised her youngest. “You should thank him for picking up your slack.”

“I did,” There was no way he could ever repay Deran for taking their kid on by himself while Adrian was locked up. “And he’s our son, mine and Deran’s.”

“Sure,” Smurf turned her back on him, tending to the food cooking on the stove. “I think it’s sweet Deran feels so strongly for your child, but when it comes down to it, there is nothing tying him to that baby.”

“Except our marriage,” Deran blurted out. “And the adoption papers I signed accepting him as my kid.”

“You what?” Smurf rounded on her son, eyes blazing. “You did what?”

“You said I could tell her,” Adrian would have stomped his foot like a child, but he didn’t want to jostle the baby in his arms more than he had to. “You’ve had ten months to do it, motherfucker.”

“Don’t swear in front of the fucking baby,” Deran admonished him the same way he had earlier in the day. “It’s a bad habit you gotta break.”

“Yeah, I’m not the only one,” They were both going to have to work on their language, unless they wanted the kid’s first words to be fuck, shit, or damn. “Yo—“

“You got married and adopted a child,” Smurf interjected, sticking a hand in Adrian’s face to silence him. “When did this happen?”

“We got married while they were at county waiting to be moved to the prison,” Deran nodded to Adrian and Pope. “I adopted the kid when he was born. What’s the big deal?”

“I am your mother,” Smurf jabbed a finger in her youngest son’s face. “You don’t make decisions like that without consulting me.”

“He can and he did,” Adrian was very proud of how far Deran had come in that respect. “That’s the way it works when children reach adulthood, they’re allowed to make their own decisions.”

“No one is talking to you,” She snapped at him. “I’m talking to my son.”

“Adrian is your son,” Craig pointed out, a shit-eating grin on his face. “He married Deran, so –“

“Shut up, Craig,” Pope hushed his brother. “They’ve gotta do this one on their own.”

“There’s nothing to do,” Deran remarked, rising from his chair to stand beside Adrian in a show of solidarity. “Adrian and I are married, we live together, we own businesses together, we have a child together. That is our life now. I don’t care if you approve, Smurf. I care if you like it or hate it, just deal with it and move the hell on, because we’re not living our lives around yours anymore. Got it?”

“You’re right, Deran,” Smurf took a deep breath as she ceded victory to her youngest son. “You’re right. You are.”

“I know I am,” Deran tutted, puffing out his chest. “Adrian and Cam are family now, so you better get used to it.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to start calling you mom,” Adrian assured the matriarch. “While we’ve got you in an agreeable mood, there’s something else we, Pope and Craig included, need to discuss with you.”

“You really want to go there now?” Deran furrowed his brows. “I thought we’d wait till after dinner.”

“It’s just as easy to do it now,” They needed to rip off the band-aid and get it over with. “Smurf, you are the head of this family. You raised five children on your own, most of them are even still alive. You’ve done a great —“

“You’re doing that polite thing again, baby,” Smurf interrupted his ode of lies. “Why don’t you just get to the point and tell me what you want.”

“I want you to stop using your grandchildren to manipulate your sons. I want you to let your sons live their own lives. I want you to understand that when your boys say no, they mean no.” All Adrian wanted was for them to have the freedom to make their own choices. “Your boys don’t belong to you or me or anyone but themselves. They make their own choices from here on out. If they want to pull a job with you, they can, if they don’t want to, they won’t, and you will accept that—“

“Or what?” Smurf asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “What are you going to do?”

“Oceanside is my territory in a much bigger game than the one you’re playing. You want to keep ripping people off, pulling heists instead of getting a real job, I’m prepared to let you so long as you agree to allow your children to make their own decisions and leave your grandchildren alone.” Adrian wasn’t under the illusion that he could warn her away from her own sons, but he could sure as hell protect his own. “You continue to treat your family like they’re your slaves, it will be become impossible for you to pull a smash and grab at a corner gas station in this town.”

If Adrian played it right with his contacts, there was a sliver of a chance he could prevent her from pulling a heist anywhere in southern California. He would keep that bit to himself, though, he didn't want to give too much away all at once.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” Adrian was a patient man and it was a big decision for someone like her. “Take a few days to think it over.”

“I have half a mind to tell you to go to hell,” Smurf commented, amusement dancing in her eyes. “But I won’t just yet, maybe in a few days, when you don’t have a baby in your arms or my boys to back you up.”

“I don’t need your boys to back me up,” Not as much as she needed them to worship the ground she walked on. “We’re going to agree on something, Smurf, keeping _**our**_ family together depends on it.”

* * *

 

Deran didn’t sleep as well as he used to. The bar, the baby, the empty bed, it all worked against him when he tried to lay his head down at the end of the night. He thought having Adrian home would help, but his lover’s sleeping patterns were worse than his. Deran had reached across the bed to wrap himself in his husband’s warmth just as the sun was rising and was greeted by nothing but a cold spot where he should have been.

“Damn,” Deran kicked off the blankets and pushed himself out of bed. “Fucking post-prison insomnia.”

He found Adrian in the same place he had the last time he was released from jail, on the sofa in the living room. He wasn’t staring off into space or lost in his surroundings this time around, Deran took some comfort in that. He was awake, aware, and had a look of contentment on his face, that was a good sign.

“What are you doing up?” Deran asked through a yawn, collapsing onto the couch beside him. “Can’t sleep?”

“I heard the baby crying,” Adrian motioned toward the infant sleeping peacefully in the playpen beside the sofa. “He kept getting fussy when I tried to put him back in the crib, so I walked him around the house for a bit then put him down in the pen.”

“Sometime I think he likes that playpen more than his crib,” Which was all kinds of bullshit considering how much more expensive the damn crib was. “Or he just likes being out here with everyone instead of in his room by himself.”

“Everyone?”

“Craig, Renn, and your sister mostly,” Deran hadn’t been very social over the last few months. “They bring Willa and Joe over so he can get to know his cousins.”

“That’s sweet,” Adrian smiled softly. “I’m glad he has cousins to grow up with since he won’t have any siblings.”

“Do you want him to have siblings?” Deran hadn’t even considered the possibility of more kids. “I mean, you were pretty against having a kid at all, and I know this one’s cute and all, but…”

“I don’t want another kid,” Adrian said without a hint of uncertainty. “And you know, I wasn’t…I wasn’t against having kids because I hated them or something.”

“I know that.” He never thought that was why Adrian was resistant to the idea of starting a family.

“I have this memory from when Jess was a toddler. She wasn’t feeling good, colic or croup, I don’t remember which, I just know she couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t get her to calm down or eat anything, not that I had anything to feed her, I had…I had finished the last slice of bread the night before,” Adrian frowned, remorse clouding his features. “Mom and Dad were fighting about one thing or another. At some point they left and I was sure they weren’t coming back.”

“I used to think that whenever Smurf would leave,” Despite the things his mother had done to him and his brothers, he still loved her, he wasn’t sure he had a choice in that. “I think all kids do, no matter how shit their parents are.”

“Jess was so small, so sick, and scared. I remember promising her that if they didn’t come back, it would all be okay, because I would take care of her, but it was a lie,” Adrian murmured, picking at a loose thread on his sweats. “I was a little kid. I didn’t have a way to get us food that didn’t come out of a dumpster. There was no way I could’ve kept a roof over our heads.”

“You were barely older than she was, A.”

“I never wanted kids, because I never wanted them to live like that. I didn’t want to put them in the position to go hungry or worry about where they would sleep at night,” Adrian gazed longingly at their son. “I don’t want Cam to know that kind of helplessness and uncertainty.”

“He won’t. Look at where we are, Adrian,” Deran gestured to the room they were sitting in, the house they lived in. “It’s not the trailer you grew up in, man.”

“There aren’t guarantees in life, Deran,” Adrian sighed, shaking his head. “We don’t know that we’re always going to have what we have now.”

“We’ve got savings,” Deran might not have been great with balancing his checkbook, but he knew to stash money away for a rainy day. “The house, the businesses, they’re all investments that can be sold if we get in a tight spot.”

“I want to spoil Cam rotten,” Adrian face broke out into a grin. “I know you’re not supposed to, but…I don’t want him to want things. I want him to have it better than we did, a better home life, a better future, a better everything.”

“He’s gonna have all that,” Deran promised him. “I’ve already started on his future with school stuff. I mean, Jess and Renn kind of made Craig and me threaten and bribe the headmaster at a very prestigious and expensive preschool for wealthy brats. All three kids are pre-enrolled, no waiting lists or other bullshit. When they’re old enough to attend, they’ve got their spots.”

"A _prestigious_ and _expensive_ preschool? Kids go to places like that when their parents plan to send them to private schools later on," Adrian scrunched up his face. "We're public school people."

"No, we were public school kids," That didn't necessarily mean their son had to be to. "Do we really want Cam, Joe, and Willa to go to the same schools we did? Some of our old teachers could still be working there. Do you really want them to be punished for all the shit we pulled?"

"You make a compelling argument," Adrian acknowledged, considering things for a moment. "Growing up in a million dollar house, spoiled rotten, and going to elite private schools… If we’re not careful, our kid is gonna turn out to be an asshole."

“Probably, yeah.”

"And not your run of the mill rich asshole, but you and your brothers' special kind of asshole," Adrian warned him. “Like a spoiled rich kid who believes acting like he’s white trash will give him some sort of street cred.”

“Wait. What?”

"You all grew up wealthy, on the _right_ side of the tracks," Adrian began his explanation. "But you always acted like you had nothing. You are the only people who could complain about being broke while breaking fifties and hundreds to pay for lunch.”

"Let's agree to disagree on that," If only because Deran didn't have a good counter argument. "We're talking about Cam's future here, right? Let's get back to Cam.”

“A good school can lead to a good college for him.”

“College boy, huh?” No Cody had ever been to college. “Like you?”

“Except he’ll finish,” Adrian muttered. “If he wants to. We’re not gonna force him to go if he doesn’t want to.”

“Why didn’t you finish?” Deran wondered if there was a deeper reasoning behind his choice to drop out that went beyond wanting to take his last shot at the Q.S. “You said you liked it.”

“I did like it, but I sucked at it. I was crappy student,” Adrian criticized himself. “I couldn’t keep up with the other kids. I was flunking my classes. Going pro on the surf tour seemed far more likely than ever graduating college.”

“You were a good student in high school,” Deran never tried very hard when he was in school, never saw the point when Smurf had his future already mapped out for him. “If you hadn’t been, you would have dropped out with me.”

“Principal Douchebag expected me to drop out with you. He didn’t think I could pass my classes or get into college. He taunted me about how I would fail right up until graduation day,” Adrian sneered at the memory. “Which is exactly why I slugged that smarmy prick instead of shaking his hand when I accepted my diploma.”

“And while school security was holding you until the cops got there, I passed your hat around to the rest of the graduation class to raise the money to post your bail,” That was by far Deran’s favorite day of high school. “There’s gotta be a video of that moment somewhere.”

“Could still be a few different copies in an evidence locker at the police station,” Adrian speculated, pursing his lip. “That actually might be a prime example of why Cam and the other kids can never attend the same schools we did.”

“Oh yeah,” Deran would prefer to keep the kids as far away from their old stomping grounds as possible. “So, private school, college, we’re setting this kid up to be respectable.”

“That’s the idea,” Adrian tipped his head back against the couch cushions. “He needs a shot at a normal life, away from the drugs and guns and dirty money.”

“We’re still in that world, Adrian,” Deran would continue to pull jobs with his brothers, and while the Dolan organization might as well be defunct, Adrian was still the head of it. “It’s gonna touch him. He’s going to see it whether we want him to or not. We can protect him from it, but we can’t hide it from him.”

“We try to hide it from him, he’ll want to be part of it,” Adrian determined, peering at their son. “If we’re straightforward with him…he could still want to be part of it all.”

“Or he’ll see the damage that comes with it and he won’t want anything to do with it,” Honesty was the only option if they wanted their son to have a chance at making difference choices than they had. “As long as it’s his decision to be part of that world or not, he can’t blame us for it when his life goes to hell.”

“Well, that’s what’s important,” Adrian chuckled. “He can fuck up his life however he wants to, so long as he doesn’t blame us for it.”

“Exactly,” Deran wasn’t going to be responsible for screwing the kid up royally. “It’s no use worrying about that shit now. He can’t sit up without help, I doubt he’ll be committing his first felony anytime soon.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Hey, so, I know we talked about it a little bit yesterday,” Deran reached out to run his fingers through Adrian’s sleep mussed hair. “But now that you’ve had the night to sleep on it, I just want to be sure you’re good with everything. The kid, the shop, you know, everything that’s changed since you were away.”

“I’m good,” Adrian didn’t hesitate to reply. “It’s a lot to take in, but it’s all good. I even like what you did with the house.”

“Oh yeah?” Deran had spent a lot of time getting the house together before the baby was born. “I want to say it’s usually cleaner than this, but, uh, the kid is messy.”

“The kid is, sure,” Adrian smirked, eyes roaming around the room. “He does have a lot of stuff.”

“Yep,” Deran may have gone a little overboard, not that he would admit that out loud. “It’s all essential stuff, though.”

“Couldn’t-live-without-it kind of stuff, hmm?”

“Every bit of it.”

“Uh huh,” Adrian nodded slowly, gaze catching on something in the corner. “There’s a giraffe in our living room.”

“I know,” It was an essential at the time of purchase, but Deran understood not everyone would see it that way. “Craig bought it.”

“ _Deran_.”

“Okay, I bought it,” He had spent a hundred dollars on a giant plush giraffe, because that’s the kind of things he spent money on now. “The kid likes it.”

“I’m just glad that you see it too,” Adrian scrubbed hand down his face. “For a minute I thought your mom might’ve slipped something in my food last night and I was trippin.”

“Not this time,” Deran wouldn’t put it past Smurf, though. “You want to do something today?"

“This right here,” Adrian relaxed back against the sofa cushions and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “Spending time with you and the kid, unless you need to go into work.”

“Nope.” Deran stretched himself out on the couch, resting his head in Adrian’s lap.

“Where do you think Smurf’s gonna land on the terms we set?” Adrian asked, gliding his fingertips over Deran’s forehead. “I don’t really see her agreeing to anything I put on the table.”

“She might try to kill you for trying to set terms with her at all.” That was the worst-case scenario, also the mostly likely one. “If she fails, she could see that as a sign and agree to everything. If she succeeds…”

“I won’t care, because I’ll be dead.”

“We’re not going to let it come to that,” They had worked too goddamn hard to get where they were to let Smurf take it from them. “Whatever happens, we’ll handle it, just like we always have.”

“That’s worked out great so far.”

“Hey, we’re still here, right?”

“We are.”


End file.
